Do You Lead Conversations… Or Leave Others Hanging? | Girls Chase

Do You Lead Conversations… Or Leave Others Hanging?

Talking effectively is about more than just knowing how to talk: it is about knowing why to talk.

lead a conversation

Never simply waste your effort being a blabber mouth; have a direction, a purpose, and, if nothing else, be conducive to the atmosphere you are looking to build by acting in line with it.

Leading a conversation is essential for helping people lose their anxieties and feel comfortable around you. To achieve that task you have to step up to the plate and avoid the trap of being dependent on others to do all the lifting. You then need to guide the conversation topics in a way that reflects what direction you are thinking of moving in.

Cody LyansAbout the Author: Cody Lyans

Girls Chase’s resident “man of mystery”, Cody shows shy, quiet guys how to turn these traits into assets. Girls call his style “cool and calibrated”; he’s adept at smoothly meeting girls everywhere from the beach to the dance floor. Cody prides himself on versatility, and specializes in both fast (~20 minute) hookups, and slow, sensual seductions. Book a phone coaching session with Cody today to learn from him directly.


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moon's picture

some conversation examples to illustrate the points discussed would have been great

Cody Lyans's picture

nice point, I can write one up with examples if you like

Ace's picture

Hey Cody,

Great article. However, I'm not totally clear on your discussion of transitioning from a friendly vibe to a more sexual one. If I understood this correctly, you mention that if you do want to shift conversational styles like that, it's important to not get stuck on a single style, but do eventually land on one so that it's clear what the purpose and vector of the conversation is.

Would a solid structure maybe look something like this...approach in a friendly manner, add a hint of sexuality here and there (perhaps in a look, or a quick remark), and then as the conversation goes on and I feel like I've gotten to know a little more about her, I move into a more sexually-focused conversation and guide it into more sexual topics?

Still trying to wrap my head around it all.

Thanks in advance!

Cody Lyans's picture

You start neutral/disarming, (like the list) then after that first few minutes, you cover the bases you feel are best.
I'll generally be spontaneous, find out more about where I wanna take it, then I'll either go friendly or more sexy.
But I'll flit between different things, and keep the ratio balanced towards the idea or as is necessary.

The idea is that one specific convo type should only be the emphasis if you are ok sacrificing the others. Generally you don't want to sacrifice off any of them as it gives you less flexibility. So ideally introduce all of them within the first 20 mins. So 5 mins on each is a reasonable assumption to make.

5 mins talking spontaneous, then five mins getting to know stuff, then weaving in sexy stuff, adding a little break with friendly stuff.
You don't want to indicate a constant convo topic too heavily or the girl will assume things.

Keep it mixed so she is on her toes, and so you can use any type you need as opportunities to use them come up.

These days I usually just befriend girls, casually talk about their sex life, then am more about asking questions to change my mind, then I am spontaneous.

So, you can really use it either way
You can create a hole and dig out
Or you can tread more commonly on stuff you prefer

But the common vein there is that you should avoid getting trapped, and you should do what makes you feel most free to talk about anything at any time.

Another thing to note, is that if you talk about one topic the whole time, you kinda have to put your money where your mouth is. So to give yourself more room to time events like you want, its best to change around a bit.

I'm never 100% certain on taking girls to bed, so it always translates into me being a bit more agile.
And I figure out what I want before the girl starts demanding.

Abood's picture

Hey Cody great article.

I have a problem and I need advice.

I met these girls ( let's call them A and B) in a party.. I took A's number to arrange an outing some other time with them. I called A and she got B with her and we all went out and had a good time. I noticed me and B hit it off and had a good fun conversation, but I dint take her number because I felt that there is no need since I reach A through her and they live together. So it doesn't really affect the suitation

Little did I know that it does. I noticed that A is the kind of a character is her own world a lot and can these mood swings ( random moments of daydreaming ) so she can be unrealiable interms of calling n texting

Anywaz i messged A for us all to go out recently but she dint get bak and never did. Usually I ignore such girl n move to the next one. But since I'm interested in B I felt tht it's lame to end things like this.. So I'm nt really sure on what to do. Should I send a striaghtforward msg to A that I'm interested in B and want her number, or just ignore and move on

Cody Lyans's picture

Smarter way is to ask A for her facebook, then find B fb from that or ask for B's
Most girls fb is connected to their iphones these days so you can use it the same until it feels natural to get the number.

Best of luck with it man

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