(3) Journeyman

When you start tackling women and dating as a skill set, once you get past the initial hump of overcoming the approach anxiety you feel and getting yourself into a routine of getting out to meet new women regularly and build up experiences and test out new things, it becomes one of the more addictive things you'll do.

For most people, meeting attractive members of the opposite sex that they like is one of the most rewarding things out there, and when you start learning how to pick up a girl you realize more power and flexibility in that arena than most ever will. It's... intoxicating.

And then you hit a plateau.

You stop improving.

Things get hard... frustrating... you hit a barrier it starts to feel like you'll never get through.

Last week on the post about indirect game, Balla made a comment about one of these barriers he'd hit, and it was one I recognized myself, because it plagued me for a long time. Here's his comment:

“Hey chase, just want to say i like how you stay so apart of this website and help us guys out but can you please tell me what I'm doing wrong. I come straight out with my interest to females, I move fast, i dont stick around them very long or do any of that friend zone crap because my time is important, they give me so much attention, they flirt with me, they hug up all over me and hold hands, they buy me things and drive me around. I get treated like a star with all the compliance I get but when it comes to them coming over my pad it never happens. What's going on?”

What's happening to Balla - and what happened to me, and what happens to most guys who learn game - is all about one big, and very annoying when you're going through it, problem: women not taking you seriously.

And to get you over that hump, I've put together this article, on entirely that topic; to teach you once and for all the ways to have a girl take you seriously.

Sometime back ago, when I was still new to learning about seduction, I shared with a friend the tale of a girl I'd gone out with and the sexual dialogue I'd tried using to get her mind going the right way... and how disappointed I was it hadn't seemed to have had the desired effect.

“My man,” I remember him saying to me at the time, “I notice you keep trying to use words to get women excited and turned on. But words aren't very good at this. You need to use sexual tension.”

And I heard this, and I thought it sounded like a great idea... except I had no idea how to create sexual tension, how to use it, or where to even start with it. And my friend, for all his wisdom, was at a loss to explain it.

So, I did what any real student of anything does who is unable to find the answer by simpler means, and I embarked on a quest to discover the mechanisms of this phenomenon and to find the key to unlock its power for myself.

Recently, years later, I found myself in the opposite position, recommending to readers that they use sexual tension, this time in the “How to Kiss a Girl” article from last week, and having the very first commenter on the post, a guy named Josh, remark:

“I would like to see a post on sexual tension. How and when to create it and sustain it. I see you mention touching and proximity to create this and maybe some eye contact that last just a little to long. Those along with some playful banter maybe as well? It's amazing how much of flirting and seduction are non-verbal.”

Well Josh, the fortunate thing is, unlike my friend from that conversation past, this is one I had to put together over time and figure out the puzzle pieces for, and I can both tell you how to create it, and tell you how to use it.

Now let me show you how you can build and direct sexual tension to drive the women you meet lusty, horny, and randy, in minutes or less.

A lot of you have commented on the fact that you want to see more posts about social interactions. Well, I want you to know, we hear you. This technically should’ve come before my last post, but either way, I’m officially starting a series of posts dedicated to every aspect of social interactions – our very own social skills training series.

A little more about my background, since we haven’t discussed it to much great detail before: I’ve worked in law firms, sales, have been a part of countless organizations, have studied psychology, and have spent time all over this beautiful planet of ours.

Along the way, I’ve spent countless days, weeks, and hours meeting and interacting with women from sun up to sundown (and often later) to get closer to reaching the same level of understanding and efficacy with women that Chase and Ricardus share with you every day.

As those of you who have been around this site have seen, the three of us work toward many of the same goals, but come from very different points of view.

The feeling of just starting out and getting a lot of your basic social skills down is still vivid for me, and I know how intimidating or confusing it can be to be put in a new or overwhelming social situation and still want to pick up a girl on top of that.

So get ready for the series, and let’s start off with a proper introduction.

It's time for a Girls Chase Spooktacular... how to pick up girls on Halloween!

If you're a fan of that most debauched of traditions, you know that Halloween wasn't always a time for drinking, wild parties, and young women barely attired in scanty little outfits. It was originally a day of fearfulness and waiting on-edge... it was All Hallows Eve, the day before All Hallows Day, when the dead were to celebrated and revered. Well, we don't spend much time either fearing or celebrating the dead anymore these days, and we've transformed what fear there was into... festivity, instead.

And with that festivity, has come costumes and candy. And with the costumes, mixed in with some good old fashioned sexual revolution, has come... women acting out their most seductive fantasies.

In modern American and other Western countries the American Halloween tradition has emigrated out to, women have taken the holiday up as an occasion to let loose, dress sexy, and turn themselves into legendary flirts. Halloween affords them the chance to throw off social convention and rebel in ways that no other time or place does. And some of it is just for fun.

But sometimes, on Halloween, some of those deep, dark desires get transformed... and in today's article, I've got everything from tips to anecdotes to research to show you how to end up on the receiving end of the repressed carnal passions of that normally-conservative girl who's now dressed up like a naughty forest creature.

Let's get to it.

One of the themes that keeps coming up on this site is framing… and more specifically, sexual framing.

We've covered this topic before in posts like “Chase Framing” and my original post on the sexual frame, and I’m returning to it here to answer some of the questions guys had for me over on sexual frame post #1 and flesh out the how-to of sexual framing a bit more.

In terms of your fundamentals, it is really THE most important skill, because it determines the meaning of everything you say, and hence the impact of your words and therefore also the outcome of all your interactions!

Once you’re at ninja level with your verbal frame control skills, you can put any kind of “stamp” on any interaction with women… or with anyone else, really.

You can turn any conversation sexual, which also means that you can turn almost any relationship sexual.

By the same token, you can also turn any conversation into a monogamous relationship, if you so choose.

BUT here’s the problem:

If you DON’T understand framing… if you DON’T have this skill down PAT, you will STILL be setting frames, but without being aware of it... because every word out of your mouth comes with a frame.

Hey guys –

It’s been almost a year since I started working with my good friend Chase (wow, time flies) – and it has been an incredibly busy year. And while I’ve dropped about 150,000 words of 10 years’ experience in picking up women on the blog, I haven’t always had time to get back to everyone who wrote in with questions or comments.

It’s time to remedy that… I really appreciate all your feedback, it lets me know how we can bring more value to you and it’s also great to know that our work is really helping people out – so thanks for all the comments, even and especially the ones who just stopped by to let us know how much this blog has helped them out. That’s fantastic and part of what makes this work so incredibly gratifying.

Now, I just went back over all the comments you have left on my posts, and I am going to get all the questions answered that I think every reader will be able to benefit from. That means I won’t be answering questions about “this one special girl,” unless my advice in the situation is broadly applicable and will be useful to other readers as well. But there have been a lot of very smart questions that I thought were very interesting and worth having a closer look at for everyone.

We’re starting off the series with a follow-up to the post on going out alone, with more on going stag and going out by yourself. This is one of the best ways to meet new women, but it’s also a scary and unusual one for most newer guys - it’s a worthy place to kick off this new series, in other words.

Furthermore, I will be answering comments on this series – either directly, or if the questions are very involved, in future blog posts – so now is the time to let me know what you’re struggling with. Of course I won’t be able to go into the same depth as we do in our phone coaching program, but if we can get some of the more pressing problems solved for ya and take your dating life to the next level right here and right now, then I’ll say we’ll have achieved our goal! So feel free to hit reply and post your question.

Onwards!

When you set out upon the journey to truly master your skills with women, much of the time a big part of what you’re really setting out on that journey to be is a bonafide social success.

Yet, as you’ll most likely quickly find the instant you start working toward that goal, that’s usually a lot easier said that done.

Now, it is said that people are naturally social; so how is it that so many social interactions end with a feeling of awkwardness or something left to be desired?

This frustrated me for years, and it can be frustrating for any aspiring seducer or seducer-in-training. Despite what you might be told, the ability to charm or really connect with anyone doesn’t come naturally to most people. But luckily, it can be learned.

And today team, we’re looking at how to become at social dynamo.