(3) Journeyman

Have you ever noticed how women sometimes launch into relationship drama, picking a fight for no logical reason at all… and how even their arguments themselves are completely devoid of logic? Or how women sometimes try to boss you around, just to see how much they can get away with?

And with 80% of guys, a woman can get away with a LOT… until she completely owns him and walks all over his dignity. Yet he’s grateful - hey, at least he has a real girlfriend that is not made of rubber! (Grab one of our programs, of course, and you won’t have that problem).

But why do women do this? What’s the deal with women and drama? We all know they don’t want a weak guy… so why are they undermining his strength and masculinity? And what’s the best way to deal with it?

You may have read on our blog before that women test men because they NEED to make sure their man is strong – so that’s one reason why they put his masculinity to the fire. But if you give a girl too much rope, she’ll hang you with it.

Another reason for drama, however, is one of the more insidious tricks of Mother Nature… women also need to gain a certain amount of relationship control over their men. If she’s not in charge, he might leave once she’s pregnant… she needs to be sure that she can access his resources, both for herself and for their offspring.

If she starts to hold TOO much control in the situation though, she will see that you’re not strong enough and lose all interest in you. On the other hand, if you hold too much control, you will probably lose interest in her – that’s the essence of the passion trap.

The secret is to strike the right balance… and to do that, you will sometimes have to disarm one of her tests.

Last week, I talked a good bit about love: if you should say “I love you,” and a post about understanding love; the week before we discussed how to not fall in love.

What we’re going to talk about in this post is how to make a girl fall in love with you.

I probably don’t need to spend much time laying out why this one’s something worth knowing - for obvious reasons, being able to make a girl fall in love with you is a good thing.

However, you’ll find as we discuss below that having her fall in love when you aren’t in love isn’t necessarily an ideal situation, either. Why not, you ask? Well, read on, about the four Perumutations of Love, and how exactly you go about making girls fall in love, to better understand why this is the case when it comes to that most celebrated of emotions.

As we continue on with our relationship series, there are a couple of ground rules you might set for your relationship if you want to ASSURE smooth sailing, avoid relationship jealousy, and generally have a happy and productive romance. The best way to lay these rules is, as usually, not by explicitly stating them… you don’t want to give her a list.

“These are the rules, woman.”

Not so smooth…

Instead, use the power of frame control to convey what you value and expect from a partner. For example, you can bring it up in conversation, or you can inoculate against an undesirable behavior by telling her about another girl who behaved that way… and how that did nothing to further her relationship with you.

As I said, I believe the most important rule in any functioning relationship is that both partners be always honest with each other. At the same time, however, I recommend that you trust each other implicitly until there is a reason not to. It won’t improve your relationship if you’re constantly suspicious of her… and it won’t help your relationship jealousy any. Trust is one of the four pillars of a great relationship (more about that later on in our series).

And knowing how to maintain that level of trust – and avoid relationship jealousy – is what this article is about.

We’ve been talking a lot about love lately, including in the posts on how to not fall in love and answering the question should you say I love you. What I want to go into today is a focus on understanding love and how it works - more specifically, the chemicals in your brain that cause that temporary madness that comes over us when we find someone captivating, and the process we all go through as love matures.

The best book about this topic is probably Why We Love by Helen Fisher. Fisher is considered THE authority on the subject, and you would do yourself a huge favor by reading her book – it will really help you to understand a lot of what’s going on underneath the surface when we fall in love.

In the meantime, here are some of the biochemical substances that get released between two people who have a crush on each other:

We’ve used frames a lot for the sake of getting sexually intimate with women quickly… now let’s look at the power of frames in the context of exclusive relationships a bit more.

Let’s take the example we used in our last post, "How to Not Fall in Love"… she’s not texting you, and you’re starting to freak out a little.

Does she not miss you?

Is she with another guy?

What is going ON?

The first thing to realize is that one of a million things could be going on…

• Maybe she’s busy
• Maybe she’s asleep
• Maybe she’s out of phone credit
• MAYBE SHE’S TRYING TO MAKE YOU WANT HER MORE

The last one is the biggie… and if she’s really into you, then that’s probably the one you’re facing. As I said, women read dating advice too… from the gossip with her girlfriends to the women’s magazines she reads on a regular basis, she’s being primed for playing the GAME like a PRO.

But as I mentioned above… if you’re trying to move things forward, from dating to a proper relationship, you want to stop playing games; to get rid of all games you guys are playing with each other.

Of course, it’s easy enough for YOU to stop playing games if you so choose.

The question is, though… how can you stop HER from playing games?

How can you disarm them before they even come up?

And THAT is an excellent question.

Note from Chase: we've had a lot of requests on the site recently asking for more information on relationships - and we realize that's a gap here. Only a handful of the posts on the blog deal with relationships, and none of the programs on offer here do. So, we're working on correcting that - I'm writing a relationship book that I'm quite confident is going to blow most guys' relationship thinking out of the water, and in the meantime we're trying to get more posts up on GirlsChase.com about the topic.

Ricardus has just sent me a batch of perhaps 7 posts dealing explicitly with relationships, and over the next few weeks I'll be getting those up on here. This is the first one of those posts, on "how to not fall in love" (at least, not too soon)... enjoy.

Tell me if you can relate to this…

You’ve met a girl that is somehow pulling all the right strings with you (…and if not, this article will teach you how to find, meet, get and keep her). You don’t know what it is with her (or maybe you DO), but she’s got your heart atwitter and your mind in a knot just thinking about her.

Your hard work has paid off… and you’ve hooked up with a girl who’s EXACTLY your type… both in terms of looks and personality.

Things couldn’t be much better… except, all the confidence and inner strength you had worked so hard to cultivate over the years are suddenly RIGHT out the window.

Maybe you’re even in a place where you know you could go out and pick up other girls if you wanted to, so it’s not an issue of scarcity (e.g., your girlfriend being hard to replace)… maybe you’ve had a lot of one-night stands, friends-with-benefits or open relationships before.

And in those situations, you’ve always been cool… coolio like Fonzie.

But around your new girl-friend, you’re suddenly weak at the knees… ESPECIALLY when something happens that gives you room for doubt… doubt whether she’s really as much into you as you are into her.

What causes this, and what can you DO about it?

Many people believe that it doesn’t matter much what you say to a girl when you chat her up… that 93% of all communication is nonverbal anyway, and that the words are just filler. Thus, any sexual frame you employ should be more focused on your body language and less so on your words… they just aren’t as important, goes the thinking.

This is a misunderstanding of Mehrabian’s study, which showed that somebody’s body language and tone of voice account for 93% of our LIKING for that person… it does not, however, mean that the spoken word only convey 7% of the meaning of any communication.

“Liking” is also largely irrelevant when it comes to seduction – girls will often sleep with and even get into relationship with guys that they don’t particularly like… attraction beats liking, hand over fist, every time.

And if it was true that words only conveyed 7% of what’s being communicated, it should be perfectly possible to watch a movie in a foreign language and still understand 93% of what is being said…

Try that some time. :)

If it was true, it should also be possible to tell a girl to bugger off… and get a 93% similar response as when telling her that she’s pretty.

There is, however, a more subtle reason why words matter… and that reason is frames, and the implications of what is being said.

So what are frames and frame control now?

Well, let’s look at some examples.