(3) Journeyman

Poorly-set precedent: it's the scourge of relationships across the face of mankind. Every day, the whole of the male sex collectively writhes in agony at its own terribly-set precedent coming back to haunt it - and bit it right in the ass. Bad precedent is the unadulterated cause of:

• Ending up the platonic, sexless orbiter trapped in a girl's friend zone

• Becoming viewed as a promising boyfriend candidate instead of a lover

• Finding yourself in a relationship where you're doing all of the work

• Being endlessly browbeaten by an overly dramatic girlfriend

• Losing a woman's respect and attraction in any kind of relationship

Some time back, I posted the article about operant conditioning here, and how this kind of relationship training and management is used for guiding and directing your relationships in the directions you want them to go.

We also discussed briefly in that article how incorrect use of operant conditioning actually reinforces and encourages bad behavior that is destructive to the relationship and harmful to both the man's and the woman’s levels of happiness and contentedness within it.

An understanding of operant conditioning - basically, that how you respond to good, bad, and neutral behavior from someone who's a part of your life influences how likely you are to see that behavior again, and how often, and how much it escalates - is necessary for an understanding of precedent: that what came before influences what is to come again.

And you will find that in your relationships, if you are perceptive enough, you can all but tell the future, simply by putting a microscope over the past - your past, your girlfriends' pasts, and the pasts you've shared together.

You can also determine the future, by building the kind of past precedent necessary to have the kind of future relationship you want, all by doing the right things now.

Yet, you'll find most people are not willing to do this, because a little more pain now for a lot more happiness later is a bargain 99% of people are unwilling to make.

Weighing in on "You’re Not That Special (and Neither is She)", 340Breeze made a great and perceptive comment on the emotional inhibition and sexual repression rampant in Western English-speaking countries, particularly in America. His comment was a long one, but it's a good one, and I'll repost it in its entirety here:

“There needs to be a solution to dealing with the culture and its influence on women's mentalities...and a discussion on how those influences make seduction more difficult than it should otherwise be. Here in America we men have to deal with, among other things: the slut-shaming phenomenon, and other inhibitions that emanate from commodity status. I am glad that you guys have pointed out some of these detrimental mindsets. Would be nice to see an article or at least a page that summarizes these inhibition inducing mindsets, and a solution or two that a man can use to empower the women he fancies.

One issue (among many) with commodity status is how the observers/players treat commodities. If a woman thinks a man is a commodity, and thus expendable, why would she spend much time forgiving slights and looking for value in him as a person? The path of least resistance is to get bored and easily replace the commodity with something else. But you can quickly see why a man would (a commodity) be hesitant to treat any particular woman that he meets as special as she thinks she is, especially if he fears that he would open up himself to potential hurt/pain given that she would replace him in an instant. But that's inhibition.

I think this commodity concept stems from capitalism in part. Commercials, movies, etc make things/products appear effortless like there is little hard-work involved in creating a superior product/service, which of course is an illusion. Another issue with capitalism's influence on people's mentalities is the ease of acquiring the goods that you most value. If you have the money/credit then you simply buy it/get a loan for it. Simple. But getting the people you most value to remain incentivized to come back for more isn't always easy or effortless at all (until you become more attractive than most). Some girls I've met who think they're superior just don't understand how they stack up against other 'outlier' women that I've met before. Some are unaware or don't care all that much about what qualities an 'outlier woman' possesses vs an average woman who thinks she is superior but lacks most of the outlier qualities. Yet these average women feel entitled to be treated as special as a woman who possesses (in my view) superior qualities and abilities. Qualities such as feminine charm, grace, ambition, uninhibited (and thus not lukewarm) when it comes to her sexuality, smarts, good body weight, independence, good looks, humility, living a passionate life she truly enjoys, can tease/take jokes adequately, knows how to touch me to excite me, can dress the part well (casual vs sophisticated), high emotional intelligence about people's needs/wants other than her own, and so on.

The problem with dating is how some people respond to the dreaded commodity status. Some become somewhat inhibited (if they feel they may replaced at a moment's notice by inadvertently triggering autorejection in someone they like). Others might overcompensate and become an asshole (who negs other people to pop the bubble of superiority and bring others down to earth). I've met girls who refuse to compliment, who refuse to charm, who refuse to do anything to make a new, unproven man, feel special..at all. And at first I couldn't understand this mentality (like how could you like somebody but refuse to make them feel good??) But I've asked some women why, and they've later told me they fear being charming at all to a new guy because they don't want to inflate any egos of any man who might drop them on a dime...Hmmm.

But the point of seduction is to treat another human being special. Unfortunately, inhibition is a killer to seduction. Much of what you guys teach bears this out...you guys teach how to respond to inhibited women who worry about slut-shaming, which causes inhibition. You guys also teach how to avoid auto-rejection and the inhibited/cold behavior that results from it. Again, inhibition. And plus women are attracted to confidence like moths to a flame and by definition the confident aggressive seducer doesn't present himself in an inhibited way.

So I've been thinking about it recently, trying to put words to my actions, and I conclude that what has resulted is my response to women's behavior that follows from 'commodity status.' I have to spend much of my time in the beginning around certain women having to empower them and subtly encourage them (excite them even??) to become less inhibited around me and to open up and to trust me...on a deeper, non-superficial basis. I have to instill confidence in them first that it is okay to be sexual, or to tell deep secrets that they hold inside. But if I am successful, then the floodgates of emotion flow out from within. Other girls are relatively uninhibited from the start and need little, if any encouraging on my part to spice things up really nicely. Have you ever noticed a similar phenomenon?

Cheers,

340Breeze.”

I agree with Breeze, that this is one worth addressing - so here's my shot at explaining what this is and how to deal with it.

You see a really cute girl in a bar/club, on the bus, or even on the street. There’s some really greasy guy all over her, and you can tell she’s really uncomfortable and wants nothing to do with him. “I’m a good guy. If only I could go over her and have her meet a guy who’s actually quality”, you think to yourself.

But you’re not sure what to do. You don’t want to make the situation worse by introducing another guy into the scenario and potentially have things blow up in your face. Yet, you also know that it could go well... if you got this creepy guy out of the picture and were able to save the girl.

Today I’m going to show you why I see the opportunity to save a girl as one of the greatest and most fun opportunities for seduction. I’m going to show how to be suave, playful and will teach you to never doubt yourself when you have the opportunity to save a girl from a creepy guy.

So there you are, standing completely stunned. You’ve just met a stunner, and you honestly don’t know what to do.

She was gorgeous, and even more astoundingly, she left smiling! You aren’t used to that level of attention from such a hottie... so you start scrambling.

You start worrying about all the mistakes you must avoid when talking to her.

You analyse every future encounter; and, once you have gone through each one with a fine-toothed comb, you’re left still a little unsure - and decide to stay on the safe side.

NO!

Let me teach you that, you cannot play it safe as a gentleman: you have to have MORE guts if you choose this path, and accept that you are MORE likely to lose her than not!

You need to have more outcome independence, because being a gentleman doesn’t mean you will never lose a girl; rather, it means that you are fearless in the face of everything going wrong and remain calm.

A gentleman escalates not because he has a doubt in his mind of if the girl wants him; he escalates because after the time he had to think about it, he is pretty sure.

Let’s rewind though.

Have you ever been walking through a park with a girl on the first date, and thought about how amazing it would be to take her right then and there… but then kept on walking?

Or, have you ever been out shopping with your girlfriend and thought about getting frisky in the dressing room… but then did nothing?

Well, what if I told you that these were only two of the handful of places that I’ve had sex out in public? And what if I also told you that you could definitely do the same?

And, what if I told you that it was easy to have public sex, without getting caught, as long as you handle your logistics?

Well, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.

Today I’m going to outline a process for having sex in public: how to have the fun, without any of the trouble (well, at least the bad kind). Let’s get to it.

One of the things you don't start picking up on until you've spent much time out of the West, then rotated back into it, then out of it, then into it again, is the "epidemic of specialness" the West has going on.

When you visit Asia, some parts of South America, and some parts of central or Eastern Europe, for instance, most of the people you meet will describe themselves as "just an average [nationality] girl/guy."

Part of this is humility - everybody believes he's special to some degree - but part of it is just down-to-Earth honest-to-goodness realistic-ness. The guy knows he's just another human being, and merely one of very many.

But travel back to the West, and you're quickly smacked in the face with the order of the day here: that is, everyone is special.

Not just special, but unique. And, deserving of your utmost adoration, and respect.

Only, because we're not all that special or unique, a great many people in the West are living in a constant state of vast cognitive dissonance, ready to explode at a moment's notice as soon as anyone suggests they are not as special as they'd like you to think they are.

They're living a lie - an illusion - and the only way that illusion is maintained is if they can make everybody else around them subscribe to it, too.

And if anybody around them doesn't... well, look out.

I'll explain.

Today I want to discuss to the topic of discretion in seduction. In my opinion, this is one of the most powerful tools a seducer can use to get women.

Being low-key will not only get you laid, it will also allow you to have crazy and discreet sex with women. Is sex really all that we want? I am sure many of you fantasize about dirty sex, or watch dirty porn. Admit it or not, I do not care; all I know is that there is majority here who truly want to do some dirty stuff.

In this article we will cover what being discreet and low-key is all about, and why it works so well in seduction.

In the second section, I’ll give you multiple tools that you can use in different settings to communicate secrecy - and get discreet sex.

Let’s go.