How Experiences Shape Your Life | Girls Chase

How Experiences Shape Your Life

Experiences shape every moment of your life. From the moment you are born, you adjust to things based on everything you’ve seen and everything you’ve done.

Such an important part of our lives – the way we interpret our surroundings – is not so well understood.

Hardly any attention is focused on figuring out how to define our realities, as such vexing questions have been asked by philosophers for years, only resulting in deeper and deeper riddles.

experiences shape life

Understanding basic reality doesn’t have to be a difficult problem if you accept that you do, in fact, encounter experiences daily.

And, when you encounter these experiences, regardless of their origin, you understand that these experiences shape your entire reality, because they are the only tangible, measurable entity that you encounter on a daily basis.

If you believe that experiences shape and dictate your life, it makes sense that gaining knowledge about how this process works will further enhance your reality. In order to uncover the treasures that lay beneath, you must first break them down into simple, digestible components.

Ross LeonAbout the Author: Ross Leon

Ross Leon is a member of the Girls Chase Forums and an occasional contributor to Girls Chase. His focus is on body building, relationships, and personal self-development.

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xIRONCROSSx's picture

Great article Ross, very insightful!

I certainly agree with the idea of outcome independence in everything you do - a lesson I am starting to learn myself.

Lots of times reading articles on GC, writers speak about numerous interactions or sexual experiences that are essentially piling on daily; I believe in one article Chase notes something like "If I want to go out and meet 20 women in a day, I will go out and meet 20 women in a day", and I'll personally find that I not only expect outcomes with interactions, but my entire day has an expected outcome - and that is to meet at least 10 women everyday (and I am a Padawan on my seduction journey at best, so this number is extreme to me) or else I view my day as a complete waste or flop, especially if I don't talk to anyone.

One could argue that even GC is a form of media that offers both positives and negatives in terms of external experiences:

1. Positive: MASSIVE amounts of great information and motivation to help combat the disruptive things we've been taught throughout our lives, on top of loads of personal life experiences shared by others that help us readers grow in our own unique ways - which to say at the very least, being able to have this information, your personal insights, and stories shared with me is something I am truly grateful for.

2. Negative: Sometimes it can seem like expectations are set that everyone should be going out every night to bars, clubs, etc. until 2-3 am, wake up bright and early and go to the mall or grocery store for 2 hours and get more dates/numbers/lays, move on to another location and do the same - everyday with floods of girls who are always sexy! haha. In reality though, and again I am just starting out, I may see a handful of very attractive girls, and may talk to 2-3 on a good day. Obviously I have a long way to go, but just sharing some views from the bottom of the trenches.

Lots of pressure I put on myself and I'm sure others do too - so much pressure to achieve a standard set by whatever external media dictates that we find we often forget to do one of the most fundamental LIVE and ENJOY LIFE, aka experience things for ourselves without expectations of outcomes!

I truly respect your take on life, very unique and enlightening to read about. I look forward to the next piece.

Thanks for taking the time,

Ross Leon's picture

Hey M, glad you liked the article.

Pretty much any external experience has positives and negatives. If you overexpose yourself to GC without any real-world experience, you can feel like there is a lot of pressure on you to perform well in dating, because you're constantly reading stories about successes with women.

A good way to counteract this is to seek information on here, rather than "just reading". Had a problem with a certain point in a seduction and need knowledge? Look for it. External advice should only come after you're already seeking the answers.

It's a big part of what you already concluded, that we need to go out there and live life. Go into things with a neutral face and you won't come across so many conflicting beliefs.

- Ross

Anonymous's picture

Hi ross,

Enjoyed the article; limiting external experiences to a pro-internal experience allows greater freedom in achieving your goals and truly does reduce cognitive dissonance. With all things, balance is key. I like it.

I found your article a bit hard to read seamlessly. The organization of the information is placed in a chronological type order.

If you could place a general or key point summary in your conclusion or initially in the introduction to tie everything together in a one shot easy skim paragraph, that would be great.

I like taking notes and organizing my information in my evernote. Having a summarized paragraph would help your readers to have something to skim over as a refresher cheat sheet.

Ross Leon's picture

Hey Anon,

Yeah, I preferred for this to read more as a flowing story than a bulleted action list. I was considering adding take-home points at the end of my articles in order to satisfy the guys who like to see the information laid out in plain language, and you've confirmed the need for this with your input.

Glad you enjoyed the topic!

- Ross

Dilusha's picture

Hey Ross, I've been following your site for a couple of months and you guys have simply changed my perspective on womankind. I'm 19 years old and not even university yet. So still night doesn't belong to me :D Although I don't go out at night, I go out in other times for shopping and watching movies quite regularly. Every time I go out, I'm dressed to kill(Much learned from you), well groomed and walking sexy(entirely learned from you, still practising). But the problem is, many hot girls, also dressed to kill, beautiful, equally posh as me, or even better(much richer girls) do not look at me. Don't even acknowledge my presence. Is it normal? Or Is it something wrong in me? I'm pretty good looking and my body is athletic. I play cricket. So my body is always fit and agile. So Is it the typical way of woman's behaviour? Or something else? Please tell me something.

-Dilusha from Sri Lanka

Gunslinger's picture

Hey Dilusha,

I am 19,too, and it seems like we are on the same level at this point. I try to handly my fundamentals like you described, as well. Have you tried working on your eye contact or simply starting to approach, so that you learn more about the signs of interest women show you? They can be really subtle(peripheral vision!). I also feel like this "no acknowledging of presence" with really gorgeous women takes place sometimes, although girls usually look at me/check me out sometimes. I've started approaching only recently, so I can't help you too much on that. Maybe it helps, to see someone in your shoes, haha.
Maybe someone can tell me, how can you notice girls looking at you more definitely(peripheral vision is... meh sometimes) and how to make them look at you more often?
Keep improving Dilusha

Dilusha's picture

What kind of girls usually look at you? Are they gorgeous/hot? or average? or ugly? For me, I've gone out 2/3 times in last few days including today, but not a single gorgeous woman/girl looked at me.(there were many) So now I think I'm actually just average or ugly, although I was thinking I'm pretty good looking. So disappointed. :(

Gunslinger's picture

For me, it doesn't seem to matter how well they look. It might not have anything to do with how you look, anyway. You might not draw too much attention with the way you walk/dress. Maybe taking up more space helps. I also have the feeling you are focusing too much on female reaction, while not showing off interest, yourself. Have you started approaching? It helps calibrating if girls are interested, and girls who don't look at you can still respond well to your approach.

Dilusha's picture

Look/face doesn't matter? You're saying women would think a man with an ugly face, sexy? or hot? IMO face matters a lot. And I should approach women who don't even show any interest by a simple glimpse? If they are uninterested already, would an approach be successful?

Illusion's picture

I'm a guy that has been into reading and practicing game for many years. I am confident that I can go out whenever and meet girls that are interested in me.

However, my internal experiences, overall, have been negative. I'm a bit older than the average reader here, 27, and a bit more experienced.

I'm disillusioned with western women, to the extreme. Every one that I've ever dated has turned out to be selfish and a liar.

So what now? How do I get rid of my negative INTERNAL experiences? Approaching girls is easy for me. Going much further is easy. But how do I get the drive to want to again after all of these negative experiences that have actually happened to me?

Ross Leon's picture


That's sort of where the role of the external experience comes in as being a positive technique.

Many guys out there experience a lot of personal grief with women. They fall into victim mentality, and begin to lament these women based off their internal experiences. I was one of them, you were one of them.

However, I saw guys with amazing experiences with women all the time. They were happy. This was an external experience, sure, but it let me know that an alternative does exist.

The bad thing about these experiences is once they happen, they're a part of you. The only way to dull the affect that they have on you is by going out there and experiencing positive internal experiences. Essentially, you need to replace such experiences so that the tides turn and your subconscious becomes convinced that the good outweighs the bad.

As a side, I don't consider finding out that people are selfish and liars as a bad thing. That's a fact of life, and everybody tends to follow both those principals. Naturally, these are interpreted as negatives, as it becomes harder to trust people, but in the end that is protecting you from making the same mistakes twice.

- Ross

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