(3) Journeyman

PeaceInHeart, a reader of GC, writes in with a question about a girl he is sleeping with who is fairly restricted in her sexual expression:

“I want to know is there any way to open up her nasty side or change her attitude?

How can I help her to open up?”

It's a pretty common problem to have when you start a sexual relationship with a girl; you're not sure how to push things in the direction of the sexual behaviours that you prefer.

Whether your preference is for missionary only, outdoor-sex or bondage, getting a girl on the same page as you sexually is something that many guys find confounding, yet mighty rewarding to pull off.

The benefits of a healthy sexual relationship can reach far further than sexual satisfaction itself. Being in a solid sexual relationship tends to permeate the whole relationship and tincture it with a positive and understanding energy.

It's not without it's downsides (depending on what you want) - a sexually awakened girl is also a sexually curious girl, and that can sometimes mean curious about things outside your relationship, too.

However, if you're doing things right, and your girl isn't a completely sex crazy maniac with a through-the-roof libido, a sexual awakening is very worth achieving, and a very good thing for both of you.

Assuming you're here because you want to learn how to kick off your girl's awakening, follow the tips in this article and you'll be on your way to one sexually fulfilling relationship.

Something that's been a hot topic on the discussion boards lately has been the subject of buyer's remorse and sex regret, and also more generally women just acting weird after sex happens fast.

As you push the boundaries of what you can achieve with women and seduction, you'll find your time-to-bed reduces rather dramatically, especially once you internalize the concepts of "move faster" and "always be moving forward." What happens as time-to-bed falls, however, is that women's perceptions of you change, and their response to sex with you changes, too.

Whereas had you previously only experienced sleeping with women you'd had prolonged courtships with, and had thus only been sleeping with the women who were most interested in you and with whom you'd already established a deep emotional bond, as you move faster and faster you'll sleep with more and more women who only had a passing interest in you, who didn't develop much of a bond with you, or who even might have slept with you on a whim, but regretted it later.

This introduces a whole lot of variability in the reactions, at least until you get certain things down.

In this article, I'm going to cover why you see everything from sex regret to vanishing women to women trying to regain their celibacy and, hence, sexual power with you after the fact, and how to deal with these various situations to make women feel better, happier, and more comfortable about having shared a wonderful night with you.

Sometime back, Franco (a sharp guy in his own right and the moderator of our discussion boards) commented on Chase's article on indirect game, asking the following about sexting:

“Sexting. In most of your texting blog posts, you claim to keep texting to a bare minimum. Do you engage in sexting at all, or does it go against your mantra of "busy men don't have time to text?" If you do... maybe a blog post on this would be fun? ;)”

Chase has said he doesn't indulge in sexting himself, but as he knows there's some interest in the topic, he asked me if I wouldn't mind tackling it.

Now there's a fun and interesting topic.

So, sexting. Somewhat taboo, but taboo things are intriguing... and I feel pretty well suited to write on this taboo. The only person who is more fit to write this particular article is probably Anthony Weiner.

... but, since he’s not available to write for our site, you'll just have to make do with my guide on the subject.

Read on, and I'm going to tell you everything you need to know about the phenomenon of sexting with girls - including whether it's worth your time (or not).

In "Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink", a reader notes:

“Anyways, I've been having problems with something that should be fairly simple for most people, but I fear that it is far more nuanced than it seems: disagreeing with woman. I remember reading an article about addressing women objections, other one about not saying "no", but I can't seem to find one on "How to disagree with women" or "How to show disapproval".

My point is that, as time goes by and your confidence goes up and you become more comfortable leading women, what happens a fair number of times is that she'll do or say something you do not like. And while a "nice guy" would just suppress that thing in his mind and get over it, I do not. But I must be doing something very wrong, because I'm under the impression that every time that I do this, me and the girl end up arguing, or feeling that our connection is somehow weaker, etc.

So, I ask you, is there a "right" way to say/show you *don't* agree with an attitude she had (or any other thing that comes to mind)?”

The way you'd hear it from most men, disagreeing with women cannot or should not be done, at least not in a way that's anything remotely close to effective at getting your point across or changing her mind.

You've pretty much got to just bite your tongue and let it slide... unless you really want to get your hindquarters handed to you in tatters.

While I used to subscribe to the old advice of "stay unreactive" - basically, sit there like a lump of coal and do nothing and say nothing, no matter how crazed, incorrect, or offensive she becomes - I'm only a (pseudo-)fan of that these days in certain situations.

These days, I'm a big believer in dealing with disagreeable statements swiftly, the moment they come up. How you disagree with women depends on the situation, though - sometimes it's going to entail direct confrontation, but many times you'll take a far subtler approach.

Either way, if being completely unreactive is out, you're going to need another set of tools to deal with disagreements.

And I've got just the tools you need.

A reader with ruffled feathers writes in response to the article "Tell If a Girl Likes You: Are Her Walls Up Or Down?", saying:

“What a bunch of rubbish!

In all of your articles, you always encourage men to act weak. For example, phrases like this: "one part of being good with women is about not flipping the triggers that activate women's walls." What?? So, you think men should avoid trigging women's "walls"? This is utter rubbish!! A strong individual won't give a shit about a woman's walls! Only a weak, very passive and supplicated individual constantly afraid of offending women will look for walls and avoid them at all costs! Your position is inherently weak.

Only weak men are always cognisant of women's walls because they are afraid that her walls will go up and this comes from weakness, his weakness -- he is scared and doesn't have confidence. Women instinctively sense weakness without any training or experience necessary and you don't need me to tell you that women are not attracted to weaknesses. Nervous men (those afraid of triggering walls, the kind of man you encourage in this and other articles) are best left to nervous, fumbling women who have issues, not well-adjusted, confident and attractive women. All this boils down to confidence: if you are not truly confident of yourself, 100%, then you will always achieve less than you could have and this applies of course to more in life than just attracting the opposite sex.

A confident man is attractive and sexy. He knows exactly what he wants. He doesn't worry about girls' walls...or himself, nor does he care when women exhibit walls, he will always get exactly the kind of girl he wants. Looking in from the outside, this achievement will seem effortless and natural.

Girls put their walls up because of themselves, never because of you; if you think you act in a way that repulses them then you are (thinking in a way that is) repulsive to yourself. Get some confidence.”

I have a strong feeling this reader is one of those individuals who runs around the Internet screaming about the need for men to "be alpha" while simultaneously spending the majority of his time alone or with unusually large women, cursing womankind in general for not recognizing his glorious, manly, alpha attractiveness.

But I digress.

I share this comment with you because it poses an interesting question: is it possible to be SO attractive that you can run through life like a bull in a china shop and still land loads of hot women in your bed regardless - or perhaps even BECAUSE of it?

I recently completed an almost 2-hour interview with Glenn Pierce (formerly just Glenn P), a really sharp and talented guy who taught me a thing or two when I wanted to kick my daytime approaching up a notch back in early '07, for his upcoming interview series. While doing the interview - much of it something of a "how you got your start" type piece - we each shared stories of girls early on in our lives (both in junior high) who liked us, who were otherwise really cool girls, yet who, when we approached in awkward / socially unsavvy ways, threw us each under the bus socially, even as they still liked us.

When it happened to me, I immediately understood why it happened - why a girl who still liked me (she continued to flirt with me and give me hints and invitations for years after) - and same deal for Glenn... his girl still liked him (a friend of hers even told him so) - yet these girls so coolly and seemingly ruthlessly tossed us to the wolves, status-wise.

I think this is a thing a lot of guys don't get. Why would a girl do this? A girl who likes you - maybe she even likes you more than anybody else around her - yet she casts you aside.

Maybe you want to judge her. Maybe you want to say that clearly she's a petty person; she's weak; she cares too much what others think and not enough about what she wants.

Maybe you want to say that if she's not willing to take a risk to be with you, then who needs her?

Except this isn't the right approach. If you want success with women, you must have a mind for status - and you must have a mind for protecting and even enhancing the status of the women around you.

Most guys who want to get good with girls focus primarily what to say when they first start out.

Me? Pretty early on, I focused on facial expressions.

Ever wonder why girls go so crazy for certain Hollywood stars? Many of them are good-looking, sure... but there are plenty of good-looking men out there that women don't go gaga for.

Stars tend to have some preselection going on, and of course there's the money / power / prestige / social status there to back it all up. So that's part of it.

Yet, many great-looking men make it into Hollywood only to never achieve that legendary "sex symbol" status that certain actors do. What sifts the wheat from the chaff?

Well, acting chops, certainly... and hit movies help. But one of the topmost factors is this: charm.

And what's up there in the mix among the chief elements of this mysterious thing called "charm"? You guessed it - it's what we talk about in this post: facial expressions.

If you get the right sensual, powerful, captivating expressions down, you become someone positively mesmerizing to women.

So let's have a look at seven (7) of the best: four flirty and sexy to ramp up your sex appeal with women, and three for putting a little social pressure to good use... while of course still keeping it pretty sexy, too.