(3) Journeyman

Wouldn’t it be great if your partner behaved more to your liking? The Pygmalion Effect shows us how to shape the behavior of others in a subtle-yet-profound way.

This week, I’m taking a break from writing about polyamory. Reading my other articles is not a prerequisite to understanding anything in this one.

Though this article isn’t part of my Polyamory series, I’m writing it because I realized some people may be confused by what I wrote in my second article in the series, particularly about finding women with certain qualities. I want to clear up some misconceptions while giving you guys some tools to up your game even more.

What I failed to emphasize in that article was that I’m not just looking for women who already possess certain qualities. Sometimes, I’m also using real, psychological principles to shape their attitudes and behaviors to be more aligned with those qualities. In fact, none of the women I am currently dating identified as polyamorous before meeting me.

Essentially, I converted them, changing their attitudes little by little. In other words, if you want to be polyamorous, you’re not necessarily limited to a small dating pool of women who already identify as polyamorous or possess the qualities I told you to screen for. To an extent, you can “install” those qualities into beautiful women you’re already attracted to.

Many people will read my second Polyamory article and say “Those kinds of women are so rare! It would be so difficult to find those kinds of women in abundance – especially hot ones!” Well, think again. Many of you guys might bemoan that so many hot women you’ve met are selfish, inconsiderate, or otherwise the opposite of what you value in a partner’s personality, but this is just another obstacle you can overcome with the tools I’m about to hand you.

Social proof is one of the most powerful seduction tools there is. Use it effectively and you can attract a frenzy of women salivating over your chum.

You’ve probably seen a feeding frenzy on one of those shark documentaries. But have you ever seen a feeding frenzy of social proof? If you’ve done enough game in bars, clubs, and parties, you’ll have experienced this – or at least witnessed it.

There’s a guy who all the women seem to be chasing. Babes are pawing at him for attention. They’re fighting for his time, competing with each other like cats around a milk bowl. This guy has his pick of all the women. It’s like he’s a celebrity.

How does this happen? How can you make it happen for you?

The answer is both incredibly simple and beautifully complex. But any man with enough ambition and work ethic can make it happen. The key is social proof and pre-selection.

Long before I became the international dating coach Tony D, I was a local musician in a small punk band. Back then, I was still shy, introverted, and damaged. I’d always loved women, but I just couldn’t approach them or keep them around.

My neediness, jealousy, and lack of game kept me from attracting the women of my dreams. Except for one huge advantage – I was the singer in a band.

It was a fateful day that I discovered the PUA community. I saw a documentary about pickup artists on TV (back when people watched TV) and was utterly fascinated. They taught me so many concepts like abundance mentality, be the prize, the three-second rule, push-pull, DHV stories, cold reading, kino, and so much more. But the one I could relate to my current experience was social proof. I decided to try it all out at my next gig. I wanted to believe.

As a high value man, it's easy to seem out of girls' leagues. A focus on the High Value Man Big 5 for attainability keeps you in-reach for women you like.

Two days ago we talked about meeting women while staying safe in a paranoid dating society. The 'safety from vengeful women' adds just one more layer to the already thick binder of reasons you want to keep your attainability in the green zone.

Attainability is key to your success with women. If it's too low, women will auto-reject you. If it's too high, they won't be interested in you. There is an attainability 'sweet spot' you must operate inside of to do consistently well with women.

The subject of today's article is how to stay attainable when you're already a high value man. If you're the type of guy a girl might think is 'out of her league', attainability considerations become even more important for you -- because it's easy for you to blow it with women just by being your normal charming self.

All relationships come with obstacles. Inexperience, jealousy, and societal pressure – just to name a few – can make polyamory particularly challenging.

Last time, I gave you some examples of my successful attempts at building polyamorous relationships. As anyone who succeeds at anything knows, however, the failures strewn along the path toward success vastly outnumber the cases in which you see favorable outcomes. It's like what they say about pregnancy – everyone congratulates you if you get pregnant, but nobody knows how many times you got screwed. Though I hate how sex-negative that saying is, it still makes for a funny way to demonstrate the point effectively.

I can't possibly document all the failures I've had. Mostly, when things didn't work out, the women involved had explicitly stated that they couldn't imagine being in a polyamorous relationship and expressed significant resistance to the idea of it. Sure, there were times I tried to make things work anyway, but they pretty much never turned into healthy relationships. In such cases, it's best to simply move on or just keep it casual. I'll leave most of those cases out and focus on a select few.

Most of the time, it’s by accident, but some women leave stuff at guys’ places with ulterior motives... and not good ones. Here’s how to tell, and what to do about it.

Hey, welcome back.

Today, I will cover some more overall seduction-related subjects that apply to all of you, whether you meet women online, during the day, or at night.

This may be also relevant for those of you who are into building relationships with women, whether long- or short-term, casual, or significant.

You’ve probably experienced women “forgetting” stuff at your place. It is not uncommon, especially if they like you. But before I go any further, you may be thinking, “Why is this a subject I should pay attention to? Is this a problem that needs solutions?”

Even though some of you might think it’s cute that women forget their earrings back at your place, I believe you should be on guard. There are two things possibly at play here:

• Major red flags

• The beginning of a stream of manipulation attempts

I will go deeper into why you should be careful with this in a moment. This is an issue, and the experience that I will share here matches those of many other top seducers.

However, I know some others may disagree, especially with the assumption that women who forget stuff are psychos or “damaged goods”. That is a fair objection, as there are exceptions – girls genuinely forgetting something at your place, for instance!

Additionally, this is all derived from my own personal experience, which could easily differ from the observation of other experienced seducers. Anyway, if this happens to be the case, I would love to hear their take on it.

Being humans, our relationship desires don’t always fit with the culturally-prescribed model. So let’s explore the alternatives, and what to expect with each.

Everyone goes through dry spells. Whether they last weeks, months, or even years, there is a way back. It all comes down to the process and positive momentum.

Hey there, welcome back.

Ever had a good streak, then nosedived and felt your mojo is gone? Maybe you have been away from the game for a while and want to get back into it.

Today, I will discuss some more lifestyle-related subjects. I just came out of a rough period and wanted to share some of the tools, tips, and tricks that I used to get back on it.

Think of an athlete who gets ill or hurts themselves. The recovery process is hard and complex – and happens to be an important field of study.

I have talked about momentum – both from a micro and macro perspective – many times in the past. If you’re interested, you should check out these articles. 

• Going Out Momentum: Hot Streaks and Cold Streaks

• How to Ramp Up Social Momentum (and Meet Loads of Girls)

• Sexual Dry Spells, Negative Momentum, and the Big Picture

• Warm Up with Physical Momentum and Get Laid Easier

We will now cover the field of macro-momentum – i.e., how to recover from a total crash after experiencing hard times such as break-ups, illness, depression, or just time away from meeting women. The subject of this post is all about getting back in the game.

First, I will tell you all about the extremely interesting couple of months I’ve had. Feel free to skip the “Recent Events” section if you want to get straight to the guide.