(3) Journeyman

How do you get in the ideal position to lock yourself in with a group of girls? Our resident night-game expert shares his strategies – with diagrams!

Hey, guys! Welcome back. So this is my final addition to the locking-in part of this series. Today, we will get straight to the point and discuss the aspect of positioning within the larger concept of “locking in”. Previous posts applied to most types of pickup, including day game (I even added some examples in my previous post). However, this one is dedicated primarily to night game.

I recommend that you read the other posts before this one. I won’t repeat myself too much here. The fundamentals were covered previously, so I won’t go into them in much detail now. You must be familiar with what locking in is and why it’s useful before proceeding with this post.

Quickly explained, “locking in” is part of the hook phase. The idea is to make it seem to the outside world and the girls you are interacting with that you have been accepted into their group.

There are two ways this can happen – one is to build compliance and become accepted as a natural progression. The issue here is that it can take some time, and occasionally, you may not become locked in even with high compliance with your girls, simply because women are passive and may not invite you in, even if they really like you.

That’s why we use locking in: to speed up and control the process. We want as much control as possible. The way this works is that by positioning ourselves or creating a scenario that sub-communicates that we are part of the group, we will make the girls (and dudes) backward-rationalize into accepting us being there (i.e., “This guy is positioned in a way that communicates that we’ve accepted his presence – that must mean we accept him!”).

Today, we will discuss how positioning can affect this. We will get practical later, but before we start, let’s discuss some of the real basics regarding positioning.

Rapport plays a big role when getting locked in. Here are some tools to make a girl you just met feel she’s known you for much longer.

Hey, and welcome back!

So, previously we discussed the theoretical background behind “locking in” – the end of the hook phase – and creating a scenario where you can claim to be part of the interaction, if not part of the group altogether.

It doesn’t matter if you stand there talking to a group of chicks for 30 minutes. If you never get locked in – either by deliberately locking yourself in or being locked in by the girls themselves – you will most likely get nowhere.

In some cases, as mentioned previously, you may approach a group, deliver your game super-smoothly, and hit a high note, generating compliance that would lead the girls to invite you further into the interaction.

Sadly, as we discussed previously, this tends to be the exception rather than the rule. In most cases, girls won’t naturally invite you in, despite liking you a lot. The reason for this is because you are the guy – the active one in charge of making things happen. Women tend to be more passive, so they are less likely to make a move to escalate the interaction further.

Therefore, I wrote this post about the concept, originally crafted by the community godfather “Mystery” back in the 2000s. Many are familiar with the Mystery Method, yet very few seem to discuss this crucial aspect of it. Locking in is key. Period.

Getting the girl is a goal, but staying with her is a process that requires continued effort. To keep a relationship strong, you have to keep playing.

I was just talking with a group of friends about how clueless some guys are about relationships. Most men are bad at meeting women. And once they find a girl they like, they’re even worse at managing relationships, so they flounder, again and again.

Here’s how the topic came up. One of my friends was dating a girl he really liked, but he’s much younger than her, lives at home with his family, and can’t hold down a job.

On the other hand, she’s in her thirties, and even though she liked my friend a lot, she didn’t feel like he was up to par to date publicly. He wasn’t ideal boyfriend material, in other words, but she still liked him and devised an interesting solution to the problem.

She continued to date my friend as a lover, hidden away behind the scenes, while she picked up a public boyfriend she could go out and be social with, and maintain the public façade of not being single. It was a situation that confused her for a long time – until her public boyfriend made so many mistakes during the relationship that she decided to dump him once and for all.

He didn’t take it well – his first reaction was to get drunk and go to her home, blocking her car in with his so she couldn’t leave. When she showed zero desire to get back together with him, he locked himself in her bathroom for an entire night, only coming out occasionally to beg her to take him back. Eventually, he vomited in the bathroom and fell asleep in it.

The next day, my friend had great sex with her for several hours. She’d lost any modicum of attraction she had left for the other guy after how needy he had become.

We talked about why things sometimes happen this way, and we deduced that most men just don’t know how to manage relationships correctly. Thus, I’m here to share with you why this is an important skill to learn, and how to go about it.

You and your wingman want to pull a couple of girls back home. Use these 5 tips to make sure the pull goes smooth and the girls come along.

Today’s Tactics Tuesdays is an assortment of five (5) little tactics to mind when you pull a couple girls with a wingman. These hold true whether it’s you and a buddy and you’ve pulled two girls together, or you and a buddy pull three girls, or you and three buddies pull two or three girls, or you and a buddy or buddies pull a group of guys and girls... all these tips hold regardless.

Before we begin, you may want to check Daniel’s article out, which is about inviting multiple girls home to after-parties. Though not required reading, this is generally the easiest way to invite multiple girls home at night (whom you meet in bars and clubs, or via nighttime street game) – just invite them to an after-party.

We won’t talk about the specifics of how to invite girls home in this article. You can learn more about those subjects in these articles:

• Invite Her Home
• Pulling Women Home: The Secret to Watertight Pick Ups
• How to Take Her Home and Extract Her Back to Your Place
• How to Go to Her Place Smoothly, Even If You Just Met
• Going to Her Place: Tools to Get You More “Yes”es

This article focuses on the transition itself, mid-pull. You’ve gotten a few girls to agree to go somewhere private with you and a friend or two... now how do you keep things smooth and make sure your gals don’t decide to ditch?

Women tell you they’re “done with hookups” all the time. But when they say it, do they really mean it?

A few years back, I rode down the elevator from a business conference around 8 o’clock at night. There was a woman in the elevator car with me as I rode down, and I struck up a conversation with her. She was 39; six years my senior at the time. She was married with children, but thin and shapely, and looked good for her age.

In the lobby, she revealed she was leaving the conference. I was on my way out too, and I noticed her linger a bit after she told me. She seemed like she was waiting to see what I’d say. So I told her “Me too. I’ll walk with you,” and we left together.

She was hungry; she hadn’t eaten dinner. We headed to a diner nearby. There, she ordered food and a drink. I didn’t want to eat and only ordered a drink. And she told me about her life. The vibe grew ever more intimate, and ever more charged. We got the bill; she paid for everything. Then, as we got up to leave, she said she thought she would just head back to her nearby hotel and rest. She gestured in the direction of her hotel and told me it was this way.

So, I called it off. I bid her goodnight, and walked a different way. I’d gone along with her because I don’t spend time with women in their late 30s, or women who are married with children, and I was curious how far things would progress. I never had any intention to sleep with her though. Just to have a nice conversation.

As things progressed, and the vibe got sexier, I did get a bit tempted... everything just flowed so well. I try not to break my “no girls over 30” rule, though I thought about it here since the girl looked fine and everything flowed so smooth (I’ll set the rule aside for genuinely beautiful post-30s women who don’t look like they’re post-30s... or for attractive-enough women in their 30s who make it sufficiently easy and enticing). However, I also have a rule about not hooking up with married women I know are married, especially if I know they have children, and that is one I don’t break. So I let her go... yet it stood out to me, for one reason:

I thought women her age were supposed to be ‘done with hooking up’ and too mature for all this hookup stuff, I thought.

If a girl thinks you’re a player, it can be a pretty uphill battle with her after that. Here’s why she thinks you’re a player – plus how to remove the ‘tells’.

I counseled a friend recently who's struggled with women for sometime. He's a bit of a 'hard case' - a guy who's been in the game a long time, is friends with many very skilled seducers, and is highly skilled at the early part of approaching and meeting women, and even good at getting girls back to his place... but he has lots and lots of trouble sealing the deal with women. After the first kiss at his place, they invariably leave.

Guys like this can be tough to work with, because things that work for almost everyone else stubbornly don't for them. And you run into the issue of the guy not knowing exactly what's wrong himself, and it being hard to diagnose if you don't spend a lot of time with him in-person.

However, one clue recently was his report on a date that didn't pan out. Early on into the date, the girl closed off a bit and made remarks such as "How fast do you usually have sex with the women you have sex with?" and "I'm someone who doesn't just hop in bed right away." This, mind you, was not when he was trying to take her home, or touching her, or hitting on her - this was early into the date, when they'd just arrived at the date location and just began to talk.

This friend gets comments like from other women too; sometimes on dates, sometimes back at his place.

And while it is common to get girls telling you things like "This is too fast for me" or "Do you always move this fast with girls?" once you're back at your place with them, peeling their clothes off, the farther removed you get from that while still receiving these comments, the more of a problem you know you have.

In this case, the problem is the 'player vibe problem'. The problem is she feels like you are a heartless player, and she is only the latest slab of meat to cross your path.

Obviously, for successful seduction purposes, this is one perception you'd like to dispel.

One highly effective way to eliminate social and sexual competitors: undermine their masculinity. Yet as powerful as this tactic is, you must use it carefully…

Very slightly dark side tech here, but I’m giving it to you purely for defensive purposes.

In some situations, you will discover there is a need to defend yourself against competitor males. There are a variety of defensive measures at your disposal to deflect or declaw your social competitors, including many we’ve discussed before:

• Dealing with Disruptive Men

• The 5 Ways to Answer a Challenge in Social Situations

• Trouncing Male Competition for Girls in the Dating Scene

• 7 Reasons People Will Try to Tool You

Right now I’m going to give you one I’ve always liked personally (but try not to use on Girls Chase... because it’s kind of mean), which is to undermine competitor males’ masculinity.

Now, to pull this off, you have to be reasonably masculine. You don’t have to be a hulking brute who chomps cigars for breakfast. You just need to be a little above average on the masculinity scale. Even if you’re a sensitive man high in verbal intelligence and empathy, it is not hard to up your masculinity to where you’re a bit above average. Focus on being cool, being an asshole, and being dominant, and you’re already at least in the top 15% manliest men.

So long as you’re masculine enough for it not to seem like the pot calling the kettle black when you accuse other men of unmanliness, this tactic works like gangbusters.

You’ll use it for two things:

1. To directly demoralize social competitors, to their faces
2. To influence the opinions of women and others against your social competitors
   

Let’s have a look.