(3) Journeyman

Presence is a remarkable, awe-inspiring quality. And if you can learn to be present, you can use it to incredible effect with the opposite sex.

‘Presence’ is a difficult concept to write about, because it is so difficult to describe.

It’s an intangible, ephemeral thing.

You know when you are with someone who possesses it. You can feel the force of this person’s attention. It is like his eyes have tractor beams; his words carry magnets. You feel sucked in and humbled by this powerful, awesome individual.

What creates this effect? In part, it’s presence.

There’s a bit more to the overall effect an individual has on you than presence, of course. There’s also confidence, dominance, charisma, social rank, perceived value, and a whole host of other things. The word ‘presence’ often gets used as a catch-all term to mean “all these varied intangible elements on display, in force”, but we’re going to be a lot more specific today.

Today we’re only going to talk about the literal meaning of the word ‘presence’: actually being completely present with another person, right there, in the moment.

How do you turn a girl you’ve slept with into a friend? There are a few rules to follow – but also some pitfalls you must avoid.

Just dug an old topic out of my ‘topic ideas’ grab bag. A member of the Girls Chase forums, some years back, asked another member:

“You mentioned keeping these girls around as friends. Would you recommend this for women I’ve already slept with and hung out with for a bit? If so, how would you make that transition?”

... and that member responded:

“This is beyond my level. Maybe chase can shine some light on this topic. How to turn girls you’ve slept with into friends. Article worthy?”

I went into details in my response on that thread, but I’d like to explore the topic more today. How do you turn a girl you’ve slept with into a friend?

I’ve done it several times (I’ll explain why not more than that below), and it is eminently doable. However, there are some nuances involved in it you will have to keep in mind... to not have it blow up in your face, one way or another.

The mix of girls you’ve dated and slept with informs your opinions of women. Different girl mixes can lead to very different thoughts about women.

As you make your way through life, and particularly as you make your way through seduction, you will discover different men at varying levels of ‘jaded’.

There are romantically inexperienced men who are incredibly optimistically naïve about women. There are romantically inexperienced men who are incredibly pessimistically naïve about women. Like all views formed from a distance, these are unrealistic views, punctured by the first few experiences with women in the flesh.

Once a man begins to accumulate romantic experience, his views on women shift toward the middle. The optimist discovers women are not as pure as he’d thought; the pessimist discovers women are not so devious as he’d feared.

Yet, from this intermediate middle point, as men accumulate still more sexual and romantic experience, their views diverge again.

All experienced men’s views on women are ‘realistic’. Yet the tenor of the views can differ wildly from man to man. They range from the experienced man who thinks women are sometimes tricky but mostly sweet, to the experienced man who thinks every woman is a siren, luring men who fall off their guards for even a moment to the rocks.

There’s one single, easy way to predict how jaded about women a man with some experience under his belt will be, though: look at the mix of women he’s been with.

Sexual misinterpretation lets you turn your conversations fun and sexual in a snap. There are 3 ways to use misinterpretation: softball, standard, and tease.

Ever notice how some men are able to seamlessly sexualize their conversations with women?

How even as a guy when you talk to these guys things unfailingly turn sexual? Sex jokes; sexual topics; everything is sex, sex, sex. How do they do it... and further, how can you do it, with girls?

Sexual misinterpretation and sexual reinterpretation are how you steer your conversation down sexual alleys even when there was little or nothing openly sexual about the conversation before you took the wheel.

These are unique strategies that require certain mental focuses to make work, a certain degree of on-your-feet thinking, and a dash of humor. If you can pull them off though, you gain a new superpower: the ability to make any conversation you have with a woman a sexual one.

This is crucial for tactics like chase framing and sex talk. And it's just lots of fun in general.

Before we get to the outward mechanicals of reinterpretation, we're going to start with the inner foci you need to make the magic happen.

3 classic manhandle movie kisses that made women melt on-screen and in the audience. Plus, the breakdowns for how to kiss women the way these men did.

Eight years ago we introduced manhandle kisses, those magical, manly kisses that turn a resistant or hesitant woman to one who melts into you.

Watching/seeing is often better than merely reading, though, so today we’re going to look at a few examples from cinema history.

First, a caveat on manhandle kisses: if you can’t read women well, don’t use manhandle kisses. Save them for when your experience levels are up and your instincts honed. If you’re in the West, be somewhat careful with manhandle kisses regardless your skill, instinct, and experience levels. Most Western women fortunately aren’t false rape accusing nutbags, but there is a moral panic in swing in the late 2010s English-speaking world, and it’s gotten trickier than when we ran the first manhandle kisses article way back when.

If you can avoid being a complete doofus about these kisses, though, a manhandle kiss is an awesome, mighty way to make a splash with a girl who was on the fence about kissing you... or who’d grown gun-shy after all the buildup to the kiss.

Below you’ll find three (3) legendary manhandle kisses taken from movie history – plus, the analysis to go with them.

While it certainly may entrap you, the I/A double-bind can be countered – or even better, using the strategies here, entirely avoided.

Welcome to Part 2 of our series about the investment-attainability double-bind.

In Part 1, we talked about why the double-bind happens:

• A woman stalls courtship to seek more information through a man’s investment, but this kind of investment reduces a woman’s attraction to him.

• A woman stalls courtship when a man seems unattainable, which means he seems very attractive but she hopes to rope him into a commitment by making him invest more before sex.

• Both these elements combined create an unwinnable scenario for either party – by the time a man has invested enough to seem attainable to her, he has also killed his attraction and she no longer wants what she once wanted.

Now let’s dive into strategies to counter the double-bind – and ways not to.

A woman senses you only want to hook up with her, and closes herself off to you. Why’d it happen – and how do you prevent this ‘closing off’?

On an article from about half a year ago, Art commented:

“Has anyone noticed how women can sense if you don’t foresee a future relationship and put their guard up/ auto-reject? And then the women you DO want to become intimate with can sense a ‘strings-attached’ neediness, causing an imbalance? I’d love to get some insight on balancing attainability when being handsome yet shy. I get all kinds of signs from women that I’m excited to unlock, yet they can tell if it’s “real” or not very quickly and move on if the vibe isn’t real.”

It's a common scenario. A girl who liked you before, who realizes you don't want her for what she wants or might want with you, and auto-rejects.

Odds are you've seen this plenty. You start to talk to a girl, she's into you, but you realize you don't want anything long-term with her. All of a sudden it's as if she read your mind, and she grows frigid. The magic fades, and she makes her exit.

This is frustrating when you're on a notch hunt. You want to get more women in bed, raise your experience level, and have fun... but you don't necessarily want to commit to every girl who finds her way into your bed.

Yet girls keep realizing it, and keep going cold to you. Is there a way to stop this happening?