Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success
Sexiness is the quality of being carnally desirable. Yet it seems so abstract: why are some people sexy while many aren’t? It all boils down to 3 items: intent, confidence, & appeal.Earlier this year in my article on insider vs. outsider seduction frames, reader JimmyS asked about the crux of sexiness:
Hey Chase,
In romance, sometimes women will test you. They test to see what kind of man you are… but some of their tests are tough. How do you pass them? With these tactics…Hey guys, and welcome back.
Table of Contents
Today I’ll discuss my go-to methods for handling tests. I will cover my three favorite methods and share examples.
Last week, we went over common reasons women test:
For congruence – if you are who you say you are.
For compliance – to see how compliant you are to them. If you are too compliant, it signifies they have the full power of the interaction and may use you at will. It can also mean that you are a sucker, not a “real” man.
As a challenge – to place you in a challenging situation and see how you react. This test screens for attractive traits.
For limits – linked to testing for compliance. They will use rude behavior to see how you respond. Women seeking very dominant males may screen for this character trait.
We will cover these techniques today:
These techniques can be useful for other tests, too. However, from my experience, they are best suited for the two types listed above. However, there are other situations when they may work. I will give examples later.
Even if making friends is easy, getting close to them is not. How do you build deep, lasting friendships? The secret is trust… which takes time; and also technique.Men who end up reading Girls Chase often seek improvement socially beyond just dating. They also want better and stronger friendships, broader social circles, and superior social skills across the board.
I’ve fielded a lot of questions over the years about how to deepen friendships. Often guys may make new friends, but observe that their new friends have deeper friendships with others than they do with them.
Part of the answer to this is “time” – spending enough time around and interacting with someone is a necessary step to building a lasting and deep relationship.
Another part of the answer though is “quality experiences” – i.e., not just hanging around eating Cheetos together watching the football game, but actually doing things or connecting over things that further the friendship bond.
Today I’m going to introduce you to several types of ‘friendship strengtheners’. Most of these will work to deepen your relationships with women as well. You won’t normally need them for a run-of-the-mill seduction… however, if you have a girl who’s a particularly tough case, or whom you’ve screwed up and need to recover with… or if you have a girl you’re already seeing, but you want a much stronger, deeper relationship with her… then these can work great.
We’ll start with activity-based friendship strengtheners, which are the more robust kind, but less convenient to use. Then we’ll talk about verbal friendship strengtheners, which are more flexible to use, but require the relationship already be at a certain point (which we’ll discuss, not to worry).
Women often seem to have high standards for men. But why? Evolution suggests an answer: it benefits their DNA. Yet there’s more to it than just this…Women’s too high standards have been a topic of discussion on this site many times over the years. We had the whole ongoing discussion about it last year, but we talked about it far before then too.
The position I have repeatedly many times is that women have high standards and have always had high standards. Arguing that ‘high female standards’ is some kind of new phenomenon is just more of the same historical ignorance you see with ‘any phenomenon X is a new phenomenon’. As King Solomon said, there is nothing new under the sun.
Watch old movies or TV shows or read old books and be amazed at how high the professed standards of the women are. Women, in all times and all places, maintain standards higher than men’s.
Every woman wants the perfect man: good-looking, wealthy, popular, and skilled.
No matter if she herself is far from perfect.
Why is this, though? Shouldn’t women be more realistic?
If you like to tease girls, you’ll like this one: teasing her by implying you want to get rid of her or get her away. Not only can this be a fun, playful tease – it is also a chase frame.I was reminded to write a post on a favored form of teasing by a recent report on our forum.
In it, the thread starter (Fluxcapacitor) relentlessly teases the girl he ultimately beds by implying that either:
He wants to get rid of her, or
He thinks she is a pariah in general
For example:
Girl: (eagerly) I'm going to Pub X!
Flux: Oh cool, I know to avoid there then.
Another:
Girl: Oh well it sucks to be you! (playfully with a giggle)
Flux: It actually does! Then I come out here and bump into you! It just gets worse!
And another:
Girl: I know, I know. But this is where the cool people come.
Flux: I'm surprised they let you in (playful look)
Here's one more:
Girl: It sucks to be you.
Flux: It actually does, and now I've just spent all night with you, how bad is that?!
As a guy who enjoys giving girls a good ribbing, this kind of teasing is one I quite like too.
Today, we're going to take a quick look at how this "get rid of her" / "she's a pariah" teasing works.
Knowing a woman’s logistics is important to not waste time. Not all women are logistically available. Logistical screens come in two flavors: visual and verbal.One of the more important strategic abilities in seduction is that of logistics screening.
Your average guy has little ability to screen women for logistics. The result is that he wastes a lot of time talking to women who are logistically unavailable. Meanwhile, women who were far more logistically available slip away from him, unnoticed and unapproached.
A man who’s skilled at logistical screening, on the other hand, saves time, saves heartache, and enables himself to scoop up women with a consistency a more “logistically blind” man can only dream of.
How do you develop this ability to sniff out a woman’s logistics, and focus on the women who are more available (instead of the ones who aren’t)?
You learn the signs to look for – and the information to seek out.
What happens when a girl starts talking to you but you aren’t ready to talk? There must be a way to NOT blow this… well there is: with 3-step “chitchat jujutsu.”You’ve probably had this happen:
You went out somewhere, just in your head, not in much of a social mood.
Some girl then appeared out of nowhere, trying to get your attention, smiling, tapping you, telling you, “Hey!”
And you, stuck in your head, responded with a stiff, stilted, “Oh, hey. What’s going on?”
She said, “Not much! How about you?”
You stumbled through a few more awkward phrases. You could tell she liked you and wanted to see if she could get something going with you, but you were just too out of it.
Then the moment passed. She realized you weren’t going to do much of anything. So she left.
Damn, another layup missed, you think.
There must be a way to snap yourself to attention and shift into gear when unexpected “gimmes” like this fall into your lap – right?
The pool of women you date and hook up from is the same pool you’ll select long-term girlfriends and wives from. But pickup pools aren’t always the best spots to find great LTRs…Every man has a certain pool of women he draws his dates and mates from.
This pool’s determined by where and how he meets women, and the kinds of women he attracts.
Men often choose dating pools for pleasure or convenience: the easiest girls to pick up; the sexiest girls to sleep with; the girls who are the best in bed. I recommend this while learning, and while building (or rebuilding) momentum.
There’s no faster way to learn nor build momentum than by picking up girls places that are easy for you, where women are in relative abundance, and ideally you really enjoy the pick up process.
However, there’s an issue here many men often don’t foresee until it is too late: you draw your long-term relationships from this same dating pool, too.
Yet the qualities you want in a long-term girlfriend will not always so perfectly align with the qualities the women you meet in the more convenient dating pools possess.
The seventh and final installment in my GirlsChase.TV video series “Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life” is here.
In this (free) video I arm you with eight (8) great tips to bolster your results as you use the daily-life pickup tips we covered in the other videos in the series.
In the video, you’ll discover:
How ACTIVE (or not) you have to be to pull this type of lifestyle off. Hint: you don’t have to be a “super extrovert” to make daily life pickup a reality
What to do to keep your day-to-day life picking up even when you’re busy (or if you’re someone who simply doesn’t like socializing a lot)
An important “activities” tip that lets you avoid burn out. Follow this tip to keep your daily life picking up fun & easy!
The “burning the candle at both ends” problem – I ran into this while “integrating” and wish I knew then the advice I have for you here…
Why it’s so key you actually LIKE the people you’re building your lifestyle with (you can get into “volume” lifestyle building, but the liking consideration is very important)
Doing your socializing in “bursts” rather than always being the social guy all the time – how to do this (without losing momentum) and who this “uneven” style is suited for
One thing to keep an eye out for WHILE doing your pickup and socializing… many guys overlook this, but it gives the guys who don’t a great extra “edge” and benefit!
A final lesson on building an integrated pickup/daily lifestyle that suits YOU, not one that is completely carbon-copied from me or someone else
This final video is a FREE installment in the series, which you can watch even if you’re not a GirlsChase.TV Premium subscriber.
Of course, you’ll still need a subscription to watch the really meaty Parts 3-6 in the series… but if you don’t have one yet you can watch this video + Parts 1 & 2.
Here’s my video on daily life pickup bonus tips & tidbits:
Knowing how to pick up girls by day doesn’t always translate to picking them up well at night – and vice versa. In this series we examine the differences. Today: setting, energy, & vibe.Night game is not day game at night time. Many men seem to struggle with night game lately, especially since night game has gone a bit out of fashion. I hear about these issues when I read night game reports or talk to guys on the forums, in the skilledseducer.com chat, and even with my students.
Contents
I. Night Game Is Not Night Time Day Game
We’ve seen an increase in popularity of day game, with more and more men focusing on this form. Day gamers often assume that their day game knowledge will apply in night game. Obviously, some theories and techniques are relevant in both night and day game, and of course, being a good day gamer will help you in night game and vice versa. But there are major differences, and you need to be aware of them to succeed in day and night game.
And that’s what we will cover today: the major differences between night and day game, and more importantly, how night game is NOT day game at night time.
This is part one of a two-part series. Part one focuses on the major differences with calibrating to the vibe, environment, and setting. Next week’s article will focus on strategic choices that differ between night and day game.
