(1) Beginner

You don’t have to be a master of observation to realize most guys flat out suck when it comes to flirting. And this isn’t even necessarily because they don’t know all the right techniques. The reason for it is actually much more fundamental.

What is this fundamental reason, you ask?

Only this: more often than not, we repress our emotions and act too stiff or too mechanical.

Just imagine what a terrific flirt you could be… IF you didn’t repress your emotions.

Why do we repress them?

Out of fear of failure and public humiliation if efforts fall flat, or *gasp!*… a girl snubbing you. Repress them, and snubs and failures seem easier to shrug off.

But imagine what it’d be like to be completely comfortable flirting… with even the hottest girls you meet.

What would you have to do to be that guy? That’s what we’ll be covering today.

Darius Belejevas joins us today for the fifth installment of the Girls Chase Podcast. Darius is a regular contributor to GirlsChase.com on the subject of fashion and style (you can read his articles here), and today he weighs in with more on these and other topics.

In today’s podcast, Darius and host Varoon Raja discuss:

I’ve recently been talking about fundamentals that help you get your foot into the club scenes, whether it be having the right light-hearted approach, or introducing your personality in a way that embraces the challenges brought on by the club scene.

Here I want to talk about how you really should be merging your persona with your activities when out in public.

First off, let me say, yes, there is a certain stigma and social pressure put on ANYBODY who is active socially in public. People might view you outrageous, unfairly privileged, amoral, or even shame you for being outgoing.

Sometimes, just for waving at a person, someone else may see you as arrogant; or for having a sex life, people can think you “unrealistic” or “irresponsible”; and for being proud of your growth you will face snickers from people that think a man who self improves is “weak” for admitting he is not already perfect.

It is easy to feel uncertain about yourself when any of these judgements are circling you. It can feel like if you make a mistake people are going to make it worse and it will destroy your image.

You will FEEL a resistance to becoming part of any scene because of this feeling of doubt and indecision. And it is natural to close up and think “Well, IF I act conservative enough, then I’ll slip through undetected”. However, for most people, even though they TRY to not get caught out, the fact is, sometimes you just are.

My solution?

Personal integrity.

Note from Chase: this is our first post from Philip Etemesi, joining us from Africa for a four-article trial run. Philip’s been a follower of and practitioner of Girls Chase material for some time, with his own twists. Please let us know in the comments section of Philip’s next few articles if you enjoy his writing and would like to see more from him in the future. His first article is about meeting girls on buses. Here’s Philip.

I am a new writer at Girls Chase and I am more than thrilled to be part of a site that has influenced my game so much. For a start, I’ve been tasked with reviving a blog post series called Tactics Tuesday. Through it, I shall focus on seduction techniques that you can use in situations that might appear tricky at first.

If you don’t own a car, you probably ride the bus a number of times a week. Even if you do own a car, you’ll find yourself having to take the bus from time to time because you’re either saving on gas or you’re tired of pressing your foot to the pedal. Buses are designed to transport plenty of people, and any location where lots of people converge will consequently have lots of women too. Buses can offer a great atmosphere for seduction.

So in my first piece, I’ll be your tutor on the all-too-tricky issue of how to approach a girl in a bus.

Recently I wrote an article called “How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More” where we discussed the strategy of using “projects” to improve different areas of our lives.

That article looked at our lives from a macro level, but the fascinating thing about this approach is that we can apply it to specific areas of our life too. For example, appearance (the article “How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More” should be your first prerequisite read for context on this piece.).

If you’ve been following my articles, you probably know that for the last six or so months I’ve been focusing heavily on improving my own appearance with the goal of seeing how much one can improve his looks during such a short time given enough focus on effort BUT still while living a normal life (which of course means going out, meeting women, and an occasional drunken debauch).

During this time I focused on the following:

• Movements and posture

• Physique

• Skin care

• Grooming

• Style

And even though I haven’t managed to reach my goal just yet (to become, on average, a 9+ in terms of appearance, which of course is a very lofty goal) the strides in the right direction were significant enough that I feel I can consider it a success and share it with you.

But before we begin…

As I’m packing my things for a four-day music festival, I remember all the crazy stuff from the past events – pure, unadulterated fun. Well, at least the parts I can remember. For some reason, many of us have no trouble letting go and having fun during vacations, music festivals, or camping trips, but fail to do the same when we’re at a local bar, looking to meet someone new.

And this is what this article is going to be about – having fun. Essentially, I’ll try to convince you in about 2000 words to do something that comes natural to every child, and something that should be completely obvious to every adult.

Yet for too many this simple act doesn’t come naturally – we’re too invested in forcing a particular outcome and planning every single step, as if we can prepare for dynamic social interactions in the same way we prepare for a weekend road trip.

And while we’re sitting there, pondering what line to use as an opener to get that girl into bed (yeah, as if it works that way) or mindlessly grind approaches telling the same damn lines and analyzing the night’s results (wait, was it 33 or 34 approaches?) life is happening in the background.

With the corner of your eye you catch a glimpse of a random group of people laughing and telling jokes over drinks. You think that they sound fun, but there’s no time for fun – you’re here to get women.

Unsurprisingly, for many guys, seduction and meeting women becomes a chore; something that they need to dedicate blocks of time to every week and just work through like a bad case of paperwork.

I had an interesting conversation with one of our senior members on the discussion boards recently. He’d approached a girl, really hit it off with her, until at some point she told him she had a boyfriend and started resisting him more.

It wasn’t a question of value or attraction. This girl clearly liked him.

Instead, in this case, it was attainability that triggered her bringing up the boyfriend.

Now, I know there are a lot of folks reading who are going to say, “Well, hold the phone – maybe it was just that the girl has a boyfriend and she isn’t going to cheat on him!”

We’ll talk about that below. However, odds are, taking things at face value with women is usually a sign there’s something you’re not getting... not a sign she’s among the 2½% of women who says what she means and means what she says.