(1) Beginner

We’ve all been there. We’ve felt frustrated, minimized, and as if we didn’t deserve to succeed. We’ve been in a place where it feels as if diving into a new world (like women, business, or personal development) is like being dragged into a confrontation with all the deepest cuts you’ve ever felt (hell). We’ve been smothered by it, we’ve wanted for it to let up, and we’ve blamed ourselves for not being able to let it go (as if it were an abusive addiction).

But why?

Why is it that in order to learn something new we let ourselves be pulled into such a desperate place?

Why is it that the process of learning to live with the awareness of a new set of threats runs us ragged?

Why do we give up that part of ourselves in exchange to LEARN?

Howdy gents,

The fellas over at EatSleepGrowRepeat.com have posted their second podcast interview with me, this one covering topics including the following (and a whole bunch more):

If you want to move to the next level with women, you need to know a lot about them.

You need to know what piques their interest, what makes them comfortable, what turns them on, and what keeps them coming back for more.

But it’s not enough to know women. You need to know yourself.

This article is the first of two articles that focus on knowing yourself. In this article, I’m going to convince you that self-knowledge is a powerful tool for attracting women, both in the short term and the long term.

Then I’m going to point out a couple of areas where you might be neglecting your pursuit of self-knowledge.

It’s certainly not all abstract, philosophical, and ivory-tower. You could be neglecting something that has huge consequences for your romantic prospects.

Last summer I backpacked across Europe with my best friend. This trip took my game to another level. Towards the end of it, I started to really learn a system and how to take advantage of my current situation as a backpacker.

This post outlines the aspects of that system as I had it by the end of that trip, and should enable you to have a much easier time to get girls while backpacking too.

Do you know what separates just a good male dancer from one who women love and just can’t seem to get enough of?

They both need to be good at leading and know how to use their body to the music; the difference, however, is that a good dancer will try to show off his own “moves” while the one who’s being asked out to dance again and again will use leading to make her look amazing.

I remember an exercise we did when I started learning couples dancing, one dedicated to helping you understand how to lead – as a male partner you stand in place and while the song is playing you’re only using your hands to lead her and have her make the dance look great.

Can there be a more perfect analogy for seduction?

You extend your hand firmly to show what will happen next and even though she’s free to choose whether to follow your directions or not, if you do it right she will do so more often than not.

When she doesn’t it’s either because your extension wasn’t clear enough and she’s not sure what you want her to do or maybe she has her weight on another leg and the direction you want her to go would be too uncomfortable or even physically impossible to follow. Either that, or she simply doesn’t trust you enough to feel confident that you will make the whole dance look good.

At no point do you try to force her into a particular position though.

When she does follow through with your lead, all you have to do is stop for a moment and admire how stunningly sexy she looks while spinning, moving her hips, or gently falling into your embrace. Then you extend your arm and show her the next direction.

All this happens while you as a man stand firmly in your position.

A sexy photo is without a doubt the Holy Grail of online dating, and I’m not even close to overstating it. Regardless how sophisticated your online dating profile or how cool your byline in Tinder is, regardless how intriguing and innovative your opening message or how smooth your text game is, if you don’t have at least decent photos, you’ll be fighting with one hand tied behind your back.

On the other hand, if you do have great photos (a single great one can be enough), you can piggy-back on it and get results despite major flaws in your profile, text game, etc.

For example, when experimenting with OkCupid a couple of years ago, at one time I had a profile that said:

On A Typical Friday Night: “Cover myself in paint, confetti, and perform ancient shaman rituals while “Highway to Hell” is blasting in the background.”

Followed by a “Do NOT under any circumstances message me…”

And I would still get unsolicited messages from women. Admittedly, those weren’t the most beautiful women in the world (usually not too shabby either though), but nonetheless, it does say a lot about how powerful great photos are.

Oh, and the first time I’ve experimented with Tinder I was pretty sure that the app was broken or something, because after a ~10 – 15 minute blitz that I did while waiting for my buddy to pick me up from the train station, I had the phone buzzing the whole day from being matched with someone (and several messages too).

I’m sure at this point you’re really keen to see the photo that’s been so freakishly effective and here it is:

As you can see, statistically this photo should be a flop:

• Looking straight into the camera (in reality I was looking just above the lens).

• Smiling.

• No pets / cool activities / cropped-out women.

• Even clothes are not that impressive (other than noticeably good fit that emphasizes shoulders and color contrast to match with my natural features).

Despite that, it worked like magic. Which is to say two things:

1. A solid photographer & looking photogenic is enough to get great results from online dating.

2. My results were quite a ways from being optimal. Imagine if I knew any better then and stacked the odds further by using other strategies…

You have probably read a lot of posts online where different websites share conflicting ideas. Ideas and techniques you get from one place do not match the ideas you read somewhere else. In fact, you might have even read two different theories or techniques here on girlschase.com that conflict with each other. That is not unexpected.

In this post, I will discuss how you should approach this issue when you encounter it in order to make it all less confusing for you.