(1) Beginner

In both the seduction community and the Manosphere, the term “beta male” is the diametrical opposite of the “alpha male”. He is also a contagious meme in the popular culture, but he is, contrary to the “alpha male”, usually referred to by folk terminology.

He is known as a “nice guy”.

As discussed in the previous article about “alpha male” and “sigma male” strategies, the term “beta male” is used in an imprecise way in the seduction community and the Manosphere, and I will thus not use it in the rest of this article. However, the almost synonymous concept of a “nice guy” is used in a rather consistent sense in contemporary society and it thus makes sense to discuss what characterizes him.

While there is much advice around on how socially dominant men behave and how to become more socially dominant, there is the problem that the advice usually only attempts to fix superficial behavior patterns of such “nice guys” and does not treat the underlying psychological conditionings that created the “nice guy” in the first place.

This is problematic because it causes incongruence, usually in the form of dominant behavior patterns that are in conflict with the underlying “nice guy” belief system.

There is also an incongruence problem in that a player lifestyle will generate reference experiences that are often deemed as negative in the “nice guy’s” belief system. This article will discuss how the “nice guy” has been conditioned and how the “nice guy” can recondition himself on multiple levels in order to become more socially successful. But first we will discuss why all these “nice guys” are around in the first place.

Note from Chase: this was a “lost article” of Alek’s that was originally supposed to be the a piece in his series on bitchy girls and hit and run game. It slipped through the cracks and never got published. In it, there is a reference to his upcoming article; this article’s in fact already out, and it’ll be linked to where referenced. But that’s the backstory – here’s Alek...

We may keep writing articles covering fancy seduction techniques, but what is the point if people don’t go out there and try them out?

Fact is, most people stay at home and don’t talk much to women, not because they are lazy, but because they suffer from approach anxiety. Now, many of you might consider this to be a post for beginners, but, as a matter of fact, many more experienced seducers have trouble approaching too.

I will here share a confession and some insights on approach anxiety while criticizing the classic way of doing things (i.e., approach a lot until you get used to it). At the end of this post, I will share with you a different perspective on approaching women.

Again, this is not primarily a post for beginners. Many of us struggle with approaching – the approaching phase is not really pleasurable for most of us. That’s why this post is relevant to men of all levels.

I had a tiresome dialogue on a long train ride yesterday where I found myself being sidetracked on irrelevancies in what originally seemed like it’d be an engaging conversation.

Throughout the course of this unfortunately lengthy conversation (it was a 6 hour train ride), this man repeatedly ignored points I’d made, talked over me, and argued with me over the most tangential points to our primary conversation subject.

The tragedy to me was that the conversation had started off with the possibility of being truly engrossing, only for my seatmate to repeatedly divert us to arguing over semantics like the definition of the word ‘training’ (which didn’t even matter; we could’ve used any other word if we had different definitions for what constitutes training and what doesn’t, but my interlocutor couldn’t let it go).

The funny thing was that repeatedly throughout this conversation, this fellow brought up wanting to trade numbers with me, to meet up with me again and bring me along to some free class he was attending, and other things of that nature; and he kept offering me food he had with him and even bought me a bottled water off the drink cart when it came by and I wasn’t present (and I didn’t have any small bills to pay him back for it). The entire time he kept telling me I could pay him back the next time I saw him, which only made me grate my teeth more.

I felt like a pretty girl being hounded by a really nice but really clueless and annoying guy. I kept hoping someone was going to come along and save me. Because it was a packed train ride, there wasn’t anywhere else I could escape to, either (though in retrospect I suppose I could’ve snuck off to the meal car; didn’t think of it). Eventually I was able to let this conversation die long enough for me to fall into a nap and be free.

It occurred to me that this man probably does this with everyone; he enters into these alienating conversations with people, tries to lecture them, ignores any indication that they may know as much or more about a subject than he does, and gets sidetracked on irrelevancies. And that can happen to anyone who’s reasonably educated and passionate about a subject from time to time; I’m sometimes (on rare occasions) guilty of this myself, too.

Yet, had this fellow known the value of talking less, instead of struggling so mightily to be heard and to be right, he wouldn’t have needed to resort to bribery and manipulation to try to coax me into meeting him.

He could’ve simply given me the chance to talk a little bit, and genuinely engaged with me instead.

When you start having more conversations with women you start to learn what girls look for and how they identify those things.

By talking with girls frequently and having their trust sexually you start to hear about how they think while at the gym, or while at the beach, or traveling, and after this it becomes more and more clear that our fears of approaching in these places are misguided.

I was having some discussions recently about a few of these weird places, and you should know that girls are happier to meet guys than you would think at them.

Women are actively looking and positioning themselves in the best spots they can, so if you see a girl somewhere quirky and your first instinct is fear and to hide away, just stop for a moment. Girls usually go to these places because they really don’t want to go anywhere else to meet guys. So take the fact that she showed up where you are as a good sign, because on some level girls understand that if two cute people cross paths they just might spark up a conversation.

And so long as you follow a few dos and don’ts correctly, you should do well in these situations. Also, keep in mind that the fact that she showed up is a sign that she thinks “guys here might be okay!”

We as guys get nervous, but girls like that because it weeds out 90% of the guys who never think far enough ahead or never find the motivation to follow through.

The simple act of meeting a girl in quirky places can cause her to think great things about you. It might sound crazy, but as much as these places can be scary, the scariness is matched by their level of opportunity.

So buckle up, because meeting girls in unusual settings often means you are in for a different ride and it may just accelerate your learning curve, as girls assume the best rather than shooting you down.

Howdy gents,

Have you ever just had a bad night?

One of those nights where everything you want to happen just doesn’t materialize, and as a result you get pulled into this space where everything you do is some how miscalculated and wrong?

One of those nights where afterwards you shake your head and feel like “What the hell was that!?”

Well, I have good news: it gets better, and the better you get the more you avoid these nights.

There are things you pick up along your journey that help you avoid getting washed out like this, and I thought I’d share some things I’ve noticed to help you avoid some of the discomfort when things aren’t going all that well.