(1) Beginner

Note from Chase: this post from Alek got lost in our editing department (it was a case of a vanishing email, apparently), and was supposed to precede Alek’s prior piece. So this was actually Part 1 of the series.

---

Hi there. I hope you are doing well. It is now time for me to write a post for you beginners, as I have spent a lot of time writing more advanced posts lately. I hope this post will be useful, as it is all about how one can get good fast in an era where there is an overload of great seduction material out there.

In a PM, a poster named Gifted wrote the following:

“I know this is probably a big topic. I hope you’ll cover it in a forum post or on Girls Chase. Honestly, I’d love to read a post on how you would learn game yourself if you were put in a total beginner’s shoes tomorrow. I go out very regularly with the intention to improve. It’s been slow going though because I think I’m just not doing the right things to get good quickly.”

So the idea is to write about how I would actually learn pick up, considering I had no seduction skills right now. This is a very hypothetical scenario and it is hard for me to really put myself in a beginner’s shoes, but I will try to do my best. Let us consider that some evil magic took place, putting me back at square one – a beginner in the art of seduction. Here is how I would do things.

This is our very first Girls Chase video, with my long-awaited commentary on a thread from one of our forum posters on how to go about kissing girls alone in your place. Here’s the video:

“What are you WAITING for!?”

The question runs through almost all the advice I mete out on seduction. Big part of the advice I see other guys give, too.

A student from a coaching session stands around, hesitating to approach.

“What are you waiting for!?”

A lover complains about how she’s unable to live her dream of being a professional dancer.

“What are you waiting for!?”

A friend is hung up on a single girl, and unwilling to move on with his life.

“What are you waiting for!?”

People sure spend a lot of time waiting.

You could grow old waiting for most people to finish waiting. Or you could even meet a girl, sleep with her, and have an entire wonderful relationship with her during the same time other men spend looking for the “right moment” to chat with that girl from work or class or wherever she’s from.

But, you know – “What are you waiting for!?” – if you can internalize this utterly electric anti-procrastination attitude, you will be 90% of the way to becoming the man you know you really can be.

If only you stopped putting everything off till tomorrow though, or got up on time, or got that job... then you’d be ready to buckle down and really get to work... right?

Wrong.

It’s frustrating as all get-out when things are going swell with a gal, only for her to suddenly pull out a trick you haven’t seen before and BLAM! You’re blindsided, floundering, and she’s lost interest.

These are commonly referred to as ‘tests’, but, as mentioned in my latest newsletter (which you’ve either received already, or will soon, if you’re signed up for the Girls Chase newsletter), all tests really are is a woman inviting you to flirt.

Flirt well, and her comfort with you goes up. She relaxes... “Ah, okay. This guy really is as cute as I hoped he was.”

The ability to flirt successfully is THE most important part of attraction and seduction... men who can do it succeed regularly with women well above their looks, smarts, and income brackets. Men who can’t struggle to get women with a fraction of their paper credentials.

One component of flirting is the knowledge of how to respond to various themes and patterns you see again and again with girls. That largely comes from experience – you meet enough girls, flirt with enough of them, and you start to see and hear the same objections again and again, and gradually begin to build up a repertoire of responses you’ve cooked up to dismantle these objections.

Before we dive into this one, I recommend reading or rereading these articles, because the base understanding of what is going on is more important for your progress than a handful of memorized responses:

• When Women Test Men
• Secrets to Getting Girls: Addressing Women’s Objections
  
• Why Do Women Test? To Find Dominant Males
• 15 Signs a Girl Will Waste Your Time
  

Also, these four, crucial for being able to respond to ‘tests’ in attractive ways:

• How to Flirt with a Girl
• Teasing a Girl the Right Way
• Tactics Tuesdays: Mastering Playful Banter with Women
• How to Be Playful: 4 Tips You’ll NEED
  

That done, let’s arm you with some go-to responses for some of the most frequent objections you’re likely to encounter.

IMPORTANT NOTE: when we look at responses below, keep in mind that the type of response depends upon how the objection is delivered. The same words can be used in wholly different ways. For instance, if a woman tells you, “I will never sleep with you,” and she says it in a sexy voice while leaning in and grinning at you, that’s a categorically different kind of objection than if she leans back with a look of disgust on her face, crosses her arms, looks off into the distance, and then says, “I will never sleep with you.”

How do you make cold approach – going up and meeting women you don’t yet know – a regular thing?

I was already planning to write about this, then I saw the comment of a reader who was asking how to keep getting better at seduction while taking care of his day to day life. Here’s the comment:

“It’s the part of “managing girls” and having to keep approaching to keep our skill honed that’s so true!

I’m still an intermediate (approaching is no longer as fearful, and it just happens); I only have a few new good leads every month but already have issue setting up dates in a week.

Combining that with school, I can easily forget about other work I have and get sucked into approaching and socializing at networking events.

Since, like everything else, seduction also needs consistent practice to keep top ability, do you have any tips on juggling everything and not losing focus on one or the other?”

The answer is deceptively simple: discipline. I’m not here to tell anyone what to do, but I certainly know what I do and what works for me. This stuff about fitting cold approach into my daily life is a bit tricky and, in fact, I consider it the most determining and important aspect of this game. My results have a lot more to do with how much time I spend infield, rather than what I say when I am in set.

The other day, one of the advanced members of our Girls Chase forums asked me about how you root out scarcity in all its forms, and how to resist the sometimes overpowering urge to give into it.

Scarcity can spring naturally from the situations you find yourself in, but it may also be engineered: individuals (and organizations) who understand the value of scarcity can also use it to make themselves more in-demand and attract higher value friends, mates, and associates. It’s all around us, pervades what we do, and we use it on each other, intentionally or inadvertently, non-stop. As you become an increasingly valuable individual socially, there will be more and more people who feel scarcity interacting with you (or trying to), and usually there will still always be someone or something you yourself continue to feel it with or for.

Scarcity takes many forms:

• You meet a girl who’s super hot and perfect for you and you can’t help feeling nervous around her and acting different around her

• You reach a point in a relationship where you find yourself going back and forth over whether staying with this girl is what you really want, but feeling unsure whether you’re ready to give her up
  

• You reach a point in a relationship where your girlfriend is clearly going back and forth over whether staying with you is clearly what she really wants, and it makes you feel helpless
  

• You find yourself working a job that’s pretty good, but not perfect, and while some part of you wants to leave, another part isn’t sure if other jobs are necessarily better... and you may be safer just staying right where you are

• You find yourself talking with a salesman who seems to be offering something you might be interested in, but he’s pushing you for a decision now and you’re not sure whether to take the plunge or beg off
  

In any of these scenarios and a whole lot more, scarcity, in one of its many forms, snakes its way into your heart and tightens its grip around your psyche.

Possibly on its own; possibly due to the machinations of those around you.

Sometimes you may fight free from scarcity, yet some of the time it gets you. And sometimes the end result is okay and you get the thing you felt needy toward and the thing turns out to be worthwhile, while other times you realize sooner or later you settled for something less than what you could’ve had... had you been a little braver. Or you tripped over your own two feet in your attempt to secure it, and chucked yourself out of the running in the process.

How do you combat the creeping feeling of neediness you get whenever you wind up in a truly scarce position, and instead remain calm, measured, and effective?

In Girls Chase Podcast Interview #10, host Varoon Raja talks to Girls Chase author Alek Rolstad about sex talk, sexual prizing, and Alek’s strategies for framing himself as the lover with women.

Alek and Varoon discuss topics including: