(1) Beginner

Previously, we covered common mistakes to avoid that have the potential to hinder our success.

We’ve talked about the importance of having a conversation outline as well as a customizable conversation starter you can implement today with the girls you are meeting.

In the last article we explored how our voice, awkward tendencies, and early attractive conversation affect our communication with women. In this post, more concrete examples of effective and ineffective behavior will be discussed, as we discover the final three fundamentals of conversation. Those are:

• Screening
• Rewarding effort
• Connection building

However, before diving further into the nuances of conversation, let’s explore the why behind the what and the how of communication in regards to attraction so we can better understand what makes our behavior effective or ineffective.

The #1 thing men ask me when it comes to meeting girls is, “I don’t know what to say! What should I say to get a girl intrigued enough to even want to have an interaction with me?!”

When it comes to attracting a woman, you may be familiar with the phrase, “It’s not so much what you say, but more how you say it that matters.”

This is why I attempt to focus on the “how” (read: “fundamental” behaviors) and “why” (read: “fundamental” beliefs and strategies) of communication and attraction, albeit sometimes the concepts may seem rather abstract.

Some of the ideas I share start off very abstract in the beginning, and over time become more concrete, while other concepts start off very concrete and then become more abstract over time.

On this note, to prepare us for what we are about to learn today, let’s quickly review what we’ve learned so far:

We hold the moral-high ground so there’s no need to feel ashamed of approaching a woman who attracts our attention (Creep-Shame Culture). No (eligible) woman wakes up thinking, “I don’t want to get swept off my feet today”, so there’s no harm in making (inevitable) mistakes when attempting to do this very thing with a woman to whom you are attracted.

Discovering the answer to 3 simple questions (The 4 Types of Women) gives us an effective destination towards which to guide the interaction. Obviously the first step in getting somewhere is knowing where to go!

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, so by focusing on our fundamentals and essentials (in regards to voice, eye contact, body language, etc.) the occasions when a woman doesn’t look at us will become less frequent. We understand why it occurs, as well as how to handle the situation (Looking at Women, and Getting Them to Look Back) by appealing to her other senses (besides just her sense of sight) in order to successfully gain her attention.

Now that we have all those abstract ideas internalized, let’s focus on something more concrete and fun: learning EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY to a girl when you first approach her!

Today is Part One of my Basic Conversation Outline series. In this article you are going to:

1. Discover why building a conversation outline is important to your success

2. Acquire a conversation starter you can use right now

3. Learn how to customize it to fit any situation you happen to find yourself in

Let’s get right to it!

People in the seduction community make a lot of talk about IOIs, or “indicators of interest”. Indicators of interest are subtle hints that girls may drop – often subconsciously – in order to demonstrate their romantic and/or sexual attraction toward a man.

But the term “indicator of interest” makes this whole process sound entirely too scientific, as jargon in any niche field can. At some point, in order to master any craft, you have to get past the jargon and get back to what is simple. And in the case of women, what is simple for men is asking themselves the question: “Is she interested?”

At the end of the day, that is all we want to know. Is she interested or not?

Many men waste a lot of time on girls who lead them on, are attention whores, or are just too nice to reject them directly.

Because, as we know, most of us men need very direct communication – i.e., firm rejection – in order to relinquish our pursuit of a girl we fancy. But once we get that firm rejection, or are pretty certain that she is not interested, then we usually will move on.

However, most girls are far too nice to deliver such a blow. Or at least they think they are being so. So it is up to us to figure out if they are interested. And although it may seem somewhat difficult at first, it can be much more obvious than it appears once you learn to look at the signs. And once you become more attuned to the signs, you will be able to pick up on them without even trying. You will even be able to observe them in the dynamics between other people.

So is she interested? Well, by the time you’re done with this post, you should never have to ask yourself such a question when thinking about a girl you like. You will just know. And what is more: you will not only know, but you will also have the power and confidence to act. So let’s get to it.

Was chatting with J.J. yesterday about girls contacting you out of the blue with a, “Hey, what’s up! How are you? We should get drinks/coffee and catch up!” message, and what this means / the right way to play it.

These contacts – whether by text, phone, social media, email, or what have you – out of the blue always seem exciting; they’re like free dates (or even a free hook up, if you’re imagining far enough ahead).

You get them and it’s, “All right! Score! This girl wants me bad!”

And then... much of the time after you reply, you never end up meeting her.

All that initial enthusiasm she had to reconnect with you simply dies down and peters out.

That might seem irritating, or mysterious, or downright vexing to you – “Who can understand a woman?” you might say.

But it all has to do with those little things called ‘intrigue’ and ‘investment’, and what happens when you have too little of them – or, how things play out when you have enough.

A while back Chase wrote an article on “How to Meet Tons of Girls on Plenty of Fish”. He’s also written a couple of other articles on how to find success with online dating and online dating sites.

Needless to say, this site is definitely geared toward handling your fundamentals and process when in person with a girl. But, that being said, it is called “Girls Chase”, and there are many mediums in which you can get a pussycat to chase you.

I believe that one should always defer to in-person when dealing with women, whenever possible; however, online dating can definitely be a fine supplement to one’s game. If you read Chase’s myriad articles on the process of online dating – which he spent a lot of time tinkering with, creating profiles on, and doing tons and tons of research on – you will gain some key insights on how to jumpstart your progress and avoid a lot of common pitfalls.

And if you want to supplement your game with some online dating, then you will definitely want to know what the best websites are. So today, I’m going to outline the 6 best online dating sites and why they are on top. So let’s get to it.

This article is inspired by a superb piece Chase wrote recently: “How to Get Started at Picking Up Girls”.

Indeed, just like with pick up, it is quite easy to get overwhelmed by the amount of information that is supposed to help you improve your looks.

You will read advice like “make sure your clothes fit right”, “wear monochromatic colors”, “wear bolder colors”, “add contrast”, “avoid contrast”, “choose colors based on your skin tone”, “invest in a good pair of shoes”.

And if you’re brave enough to step into online communities that focus solely on men’s style you’ll find an even more confusing situation of names dropping and brand obsessing that for an outsider might seem even a bit snobbish (and indeed it sometimes is).

The funny thing is, such advice (even if it seems contradictory) is often technically correct and can lead to great results in certain situations.

But the problem is that unless you had some positive and style-savvy influences in your life – friends, women, etc. – who can show you what actually looks good on you, how proper fit should feel like, what colors go well together it is a very daunting journey to start on. This is especially true for guys who live outside fashionable cities, in locations where wearing basketball shorts and flip flops is considered an “okay casual look”.

I tried to address this issue in the last article “6 Outfits That Will Help You Look Sexy” and Chase wrote a superb primer for men’s style that covers most important points.

Today, I’d like to fill one more gap in the knowledge – the part that goes before you go out shopping or decide what you’ll be wearing on a night out. We’ll cover mindsets and healthy habits that should be developed.

But don’t be fooled, this won’t be a feel-good article that you will read and forget the next day; I will invite you to do some hard thinking every step of the way, so that by the end of this guide you will clearly know what needs to be done in your unique situation.

Last week I wrote a post about How to be Passionate. That post was focused on becoming passionate with women, with work, and with life in general by generating an internal understanding and system in order to bring about greater awareness, curiosity, and appreciation for life.

So it’s only natural that I follow that post up with one on how to be optimistic. It seems that optimism has taken over the general zeitgeist of the West (perhaps even to a fault), and that literature, teaching, and educational/inspirational talks are all focused on the power of optimism and how to become optimistic yourself.

Although I do not believe that optimism is a cure-all for any state of existence, it has been proven that people who are optimistic tend to be more successful in life and generally healthier in body as well. And it doesn’t really hurt to have the ability to look at a situation and learn and grow from it.

So today I want to talk about how to become optimistic. And don’t worry, this won’t be one of those “feel-good” kinds of posts where I just stroke your ego and tell you how special you are. We will discuss real practical steps and mindsets (as I always do) in order to boost your sense of optimism and general life satisfaction.