(1) Beginner

The vapid stares, the uninteresting conversation, the constant references to celebrity doings and pop culture happenings you haven’t the slightest inkling of.

She’s cute, and you’d like to sleep with her, but she’s just so... dumb.

It’s simply impossible to connect with her.

For a long time, the moment I realized a girl I was talking to was ‘dumb’ was the moment I gave up any hopes of bedding her.

I knew we had nothing in common. No shared interests. No mutual conversation topics. We could talk past each other, but we’d both merely bore one another with our respectively boring topics.

Eventually, however, I realized I was being kind of dumb myself; if there’s attraction there, it shouldn’t matter how many common interests you share... you only need one common interest: an interest in each other.

Realistically, if you want to go to bed with her, and she wants to go to bed with you, how much more ‘in common’ do you actually need?

It turns out, not much.

In my opinion there are two kinds of jealousy:

1. The kind you feel out of superficial insecurity, and
2. The kind you feel out of genuine loss

A lot of men feel jealous superficially and confuse it for something genuine. That is easy to fix, you just have to learn to move on. But occasionally some of us who are familiar with moving on get swept into a situation where genuine loss is felt, and no matter how hard we try we just can’t let it go.

In this article I’m going to talk about the second kind of jealousy and getting past the grief that comes with it.

Note from Chase: Denton Fisher has been actively approaching women for 4.5 years, with a specialty in same-night lays. He’s taught over 100 students in-field, and is a prolific seducer, posting two to five new lays a week, and juggling up to seven women in rotation at a time. His first series of articles on Girls Chase focuses on achieving mastery picking up and seducing girls. Here’s Denton.

This article is for both the game junkies and the dabblers out there, as well as those who are fighting to master your own individual fields. It is all the same. Reaching mastery in any field will have the same patterns/similarities, and one of the major ones is the quest to find a mentor.

This is something I am good at and is the single biggest reason why I have developed my game to the point it is at now. With that being said, let me share with you why I have acquired half a dozen pick-up mentors of extreme skill over the course of a year.

This is an article about the journey you will experience as you proceed from a man who never walks up to strange women to introduce himself and flirt, to a man who does so all the time, and reaps the rewards, both in terms of women and in terms of how he thinks about women.

If you have read my two previous articles on this website (here’s one and here’s two), you might have noticed that there is a word that I mention frequently (directly or indirectly): and the word is cold approach. In my case, the preference is for street cold approach, though cold approach of any kind is the key.

Cold approach is at the heart of my game; in fact, it is my entire game. When I say it is my “entire” game, I do not only refer to my outer game, but to my inner game as well.

The power of cold approach is so big that I cannot put limits on it. It contains a transformative power that has the ability to change your relationship with women in a dramatic way, on all levels. There is a lot of talking about “inner game”. Well, despite being the cause of your actions, your mindset will also follow the progress you make in cold approach.

Now, let’s make an important clarification: everything is mind and everything comes from the mind. As a consequence, outer game is really a reflection of your inner game. It all starts with a decision, and the decision will happen in your mind. You’ll decide that you are entitled to hot girls, so you’ll go out and talk to them, and then through consistent action you’ll start seeing evidence of your own belief.

Therefore, action is not the cause, the cause is your decision. Action simply follows your decision, and that’s why inner game always comes before outer game. And yet, action is the only way to play this game. Action is born from your inner game, and yet it is the only way to change, improve, sharpen, and expand your inner game. That’s the paradox.

Here’s an oldie but a goodie from the bygone days of Fast Seduction: Jay’s (Formhandle’s) pre-approach invitation male approach invitation, which used the (rather exhausting) acronym ‘pAImAI’.

It’s a complicated-sounding name for a simple technique: behave in an attention-grabbing way that entices women to send you approach invitations.

If you do nightlife often, you’ll likely have started doing this one on your own already.

If you don’t, and you want to make your opening easier, you’ll probably find it useful.

When I decided to start gunning hard for significantly improved social skills in 2004, that was when I had to come to grips with how hopelessly miserable my current social skills were, and how hopelessly far behind I was socially compared to everybody else.

Some part of me enjoyed being the total outsider, because I enjoyed the independence of the man apart, the one cut off from society. I figured this would make my eventual triumph all the more poetic. It was only when I set about trying to bring that triumph about that I came to realize it would be even tougher than I’d estimated.

What I quickly discovered was that even some of the most basic social rules were alien to me. What do people talk about? How do they join conversations and move between groups? How do they not trip over their own feet socially and look dumb and find themselves excluded?

I’d already developed a good wit and the ability to tell an entertaining story by that point, so I wasn’t flying completely blind. But general conversation – interacting with other human beings in a setting in which I was not the guy on stage, cracking jokes or spinning stories or showing off my musical talents, was unknown to me. And was most human interaction... I couldn’t lean on jokes or tales or busting out freestyles to help there.

So, this one goes out to the social newbs, starting off hopelessly behind everybody else, realizing the rest of mankind has a 10+ year head start on them in learning how to socialize.

Let me tell you what I did, and give you some suggestions about what you can do.

A month or so back, below my article “Tactics Tuesdays: Hugs, Handclasps, and Arm-on-Shoulders”, a commenter named Magenta asked about how to pick up girls at the airport:

“Hi Chase,

Can you do an article on Aiport game? Such as how do I approach/connect with women who are traveling to/from, waiting at the airport lounge, waiting in line for security checks, etc....type of conversation to have and figuring out logistics of what is possible/not possible.

Thanks!!”

I’m a pretty big fan of any kind of transit game, as I’ve talked about before in “Meeting Women on Buses, Trains, and Airplanes.” Transit has a lot of nice things going for it, including:

• She’s usually going to be by herself
• She’s in an ‘active’ or ‘alert’ mood because she’s waiting for her conveyance
• However, she’s also sitting there with nothing to do while she waits
• And, you have an instant social context, so speaking is low pressure
  

Airports offer the further plusses that she’s on a big adventure, so likely to feel excited and perked up (unless this is yet another business trip she’s made 1,000 times), and grant you an instant value boost – if you’re traveling, whether for work or pleasure, she assumes you have money and are likely somewhat ‘important’. You’re also more likely to lead an interesting life. And, you get an instant commonality – you’re both travelers, something that immediately separates you both from ‘regular people’ (you and her, against the world).

In this article, I’ll talk about my approach to picking up girls in airports: preparation, execution, logistics, and whether to grab numbers or try for something then and there.