Recently, a commenter asked a question about my article “12 Traits All Boring, Unsexy Nice Guys Have in Common” – he wanted to know, specifically, why these traits, beliefs, and behaviors are so boring to women:
“Chase, I read your article about the 12 traits all boring, unsexy nice guys have. How do these traits in and of itself make a person boring? How does things like believing in karma or watching pundits make you boring? Is it possible that you could write about things men do that make them seem boring to women during conversation or in their actions? I don’t think you have that sort of list on this site.”
In case it’s been a while since you read that article, here’s a quick recap of boring nice guy traits:
- He doesn’t mind waiting... and waiting...
- He wants points for being ‘nice’
- He gets upset when the world doesn’t play fair
- He believes in ‘justice’, ‘karma’, or ‘just desserts’
- He consumes a LOT of media
- He thinks women are victims of men
- He is extra soft, friendly, and gentle with women
- He doesn’t have any interests or passions
- He can’t understand why women want bad boys
- He thinks women don’t REALLY like sex
- He believes he must promise relationships to get sex
- He can’t believe any girl could want him JUST for sex
Here’s a thought though; read that list. Imagine a man with those 12 traits. Would you like to have a friend like that? Or would you better prefer a friend who is the opposite of that?:
- A guy with a lot to do who doesn’t wait around for long
- A guy who, if he is nice, expects nothing back for it
- A guy who shrugs if the world doesn’t play fair, then gets back to work
- A guy who believes you only get what you get, no ‘karma’ about it
- A guy who isn’t overly plugged into popular media
- A guy who thinks women and men complement each other
- A guy who is playful and flirtatious with women
- A guy with several real interests and passions
- A guy who knows exactly why women like bad boys... he is one!
- A guy who knows women love sex (or at least they love it with him)
- A guy who doesn’t give a woman relationship until well after
their first sex
- A guy who believes women want to take advantage of him sexually
Man, that’s a couple of totally different human beings right there, isn’t it? Do you know which guy you want to be friends with? I know which guy I want to be friends with. It ain’t the nice guy.
Why do those ‘nice guy’ traits make a man so unappealing though?