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The fear of approaching women is a major hurdle for a lot of guys. By adopting these key mindsets, you’ll realize there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Hey guys, welcome back. Last week, we discussed some tips and tricks for dealing with the fear of rejection – i.e., managing the anxiety that keeps you from approaching women.

Here’s what was discussed:

• It’s totally normal to experience approach anxiety

• Most guys feel anxious about approaching women

• Those who don’t feel any anxiety tend to be uncalibrated

• Even experienced players face lower-level anxiety at times

• It is hard – if not impossible – to completely get rid of approach anxiety

• You can do things to effectively manage it

We discussed strategies that, if implemented, should make approaching easier for you. Today, we will go deeper and add some simple-yet-powerful mindsets you can – and should – apply that will make the whole process even simpler.

These are mindsets that I have used in the past with great success. I have also shared them with friends, co-seducers, and newbies. This post is suited for everyone still struggling with approaching women. These mindsets can be used for both day game and night game.

Approach anxiety can make it extremely difficult to meet women. While likely incurable, it can be effectively managed with these simple, practical tips.

I have heard from many good seducers and players who, despite all their success and experience with women, still feel approach anxiety.

They, too, get that tingly feeling in their chest while their minds play tricks on them, holding them back from meeting potentially amazing women.

Not approaching because of anxiety is sad because you might be missing out on many fun adventures and amazing women. I know many of you hate having this feeling of anxiety.

So, does this mean there is no hope for you? Not at all. You can drastically reduce your anxiety, but you will have to force yourself to do it... and reconquer it every time you go out.

The subject of today’s post will be approach anxiety management – why you have it and practical steps to minimize it. Next week, I’ll discuss some powerful mindsets that will help you take action.

Gorgeous women are harangued by clueless, needy guys since the day they blossom. That’s why they bolt at the first sign of neediness… and chase the men who “get it.”

Every woman has an ex-boyfriend who lost his mind.

The media is ripe with crimes of passion, where men transform from lovers to stalkers, or from loyal boyfriends to controlling, jealous, domineering abusers.

They ruin it for all of us.

I used to be a very needy, weak man. Wet toast. Not the alpha-god of charisma that I am today. Even though I was incredibly insecure in grade 7, I still managed to score my first “girlfriend.” It lasted a whole week!

Her name was Despi. A beautiful, rich, Greek girl from another school. Being an introverted kid, I was shocked that she wanted me to call her. A girl likes… me?

“Despi likes Tony!?” they cried. It was my induction into the upper echelons of popularity, social proofed by a girl I didn’t even know yet. Suddenly, kids invited me to parties, sports games, and sleepovers. I was part of a different game now. An adult game without a rule book.

The first night of our short affair, I sat by the telephone, petrified, but I mustered the courage to call her. It went fine, and we agreed to go to a movie. Some nineties romantic comedy.

At the film, I sat there in a state of confusion, pumped with dopamine and adrenaline, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. I wanted to hold her hand. Can you do that? Just pick it up? Squeeze it and play with its softness? Does she like Metallica? Nintendo? Should I ask?

We didn’t meet again after that.

Fast-forward to grade 8.

We all know that communicating emotion is a critical element in attracting women. But how does one make her “feel” in the 2-dimensional world of texting?

Texting fundamentals – I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while now.

Texting has many layers we can explore in a scholastic fashion. This will be a nerdy article for some, but it needs to be technical, or the advice won’t be as helpful as it could be.

Let’s start with emojis.

To understand how and why emojis work, let’s go through a few basic concepts of text game.

When we jump the gun and learn specialized aspects of a new skill before getting a solid foundation, the skill can become imbalanced and riddled with holes.

I recently took a short hiatus from seduction to reflect upon its deeper nature.

During that time, I got into boxing, and I have been observing seduction in as much detail as I can to try to reach a new level of understanding. In doing so, I’ve realized something about getting good with women – or anything, for that matter. It relates to how and where we apply our effort and how to get the best possible results without wasting time and energy.

With boxing, I have spent the past year ensuring that every aspect of what I do inside the ring is 100% technically accurate. If I discovered a single flaw, I used drills, exercise, and good old-fashioned hard work to fix it. I lost weight, removed the rust I had accumulated, and changed my foundation as a boxer from head to toe. I worked on my footwork, guard, head movement, hand speed, jab, combinations, counters, and overall conditioning.

It was tough, but I’ve started turning heads as my technical skill has become more apparent. I am entering a new phase where technical ability is non-negotiable. I am capable of all the things that make a decent boxer. However, I realize this is not the end of the road.

To progress further, I have had to let go of ideas of what might be good enough to beat most fighters and start thinking about what is good enough to win against a specific opponent. I’ve made the shift from “good enough” to genuinely commanding my fate.

This is something that is true in seduction as well. At first, we must gain enough ability that it is no longer a case of if we can get a girl, but when. We do so by acquiring universal strengths, traits, and attributes that help us achieve that level of confidence.

After this goal is attained, we then face a tough period where we question what we want, and on the other side of that soul searching is a whole new phase of learning.

To reach the top level of the most socially successful men, you have to hustle harder than almost anybody else.

Guys arrive at Girls Chase with all sorts of different ambitions.

Many guys just want a girlfriend. Some want to lose their virginities, or break a long dry spell. Others are fresh out of a marriage, bouncing back from divorce.

I don't talk about going for really outsize results a lot... because most guys don't really want to be one of the 10 coolest guys in town, or pile up 120 lays. Even if a guy starts out with "That's what I want!" usually past a certain point he realizes actually, he's happy where he ended up: some cool friends, a decent number of notches, a hot & caring girlfriend.

Usually I assume that, beyond that, if a guy is serious about stupidly, ridiculously outsize results -- like, being in the top of the top of men out there -- he'll realize, naturally, that he has to hustle his ass off for a protracted time to get there.

But it occurs to me now that perhaps not everybody does realize that.

One of the confusing things for me over the years has been guys who comment on Girls Chase regularly and talk about the outsize results they want but don't show outsize hustle in pursuit of those results.

While it's true the material on GC will speed and ease your journey, it's a bit like having an expert guide on a mountain climb. The guide will help (a lot!)... but you still have to climb the mountain.

There are no helicopter rides to the top of Mount Everest. Helicopters mostly can't even go that high (they can't usually generate enough lift). If you want to get there, you must train on lesser mountains, you must train rigorously; you must get a good guide, and then you must do lots and lots and lots and lots of very hard work. Most people who set out to make that climb never make it to the top; they content themselves with smaller achievements, when they realize they're happy with those smaller achievements... or that the cost for greater ones is too great for them.

If you make a woman laugh, she’s guaranteed to sleep with you… NOT! Lolz, but seriously, you can definitely spark attraction if you know how to be funny.

A few years ago, I wrote a novel that has become a bit of a cult classic.

Most people (especially women) say they read it in one sitting and are unable to put the book down because it’s so hilarious. I also wrote a comedic, pornographic satire called Kuntar The Barbarian. I consider myself a bit of an expert at humor.

Don’t believe me? Pull my finger, bitch.

So many guys have no clue how to make a girl laugh. Are some men just born funny, or is it something you can cultivate? Both, just like any skill.

Now, before we get too far, I want to make it clear that laughter is not all you need to attract women. Humor is a solid tool in the seduction arsenal, because everyone loves to laugh. It’s definitely attractive. But if that’s all you do, you won’t be so great at sparking the kind of attraction that gets you laid. In fact, humor can sometimes work against you. The guys who seem to get laid by being hilarious are doing other things that aren’t so easy to see.

That said, humor is a super valuable social skill, and a great seduction tool if used right. So let’s learn how to be funny.