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Sexual tension is a potent magnet for the girls you most want.
But what is it, and how do you generate it? With intrigue, limbo, and
more.
Hey guys, and welcome back. Today I will stick to the plan and delve further into the non-verbal aspect of seduction. That being said, all my recent posts on the subject should already contain enough information to get you laid, as the most crucial basics were covered – not to mention all the additional cool tricks I tossed in to increase your odds:
- 3 Body Position Phases When You Talk to New Girls
- Eye Contact Seduction: Basics and Advanced
- Why Touch is Vital to Girls and Dating
- Calibrating Touch to the Girl You're With
- Advanced Ways to Touch Her on Dates and Pickups
- The
Kiss and Other Mouth Moves in Physical Escalation
Contents
Now prepare yourselves – the upcoming posts will be more advanced and more complex in nature. Not only will we get into more advanced (and perhaps even vague) concepts, we’ll also get more into the details. If you aspire to make your overall non-verbal game tighter, then these posts are for you.
Some of these posts may also be useful for those of you who desire more interesting and pleasurable seductions (many forget that the seduction process can also be something pleasurable instead of purely instrumental!).
So today I will discuss sexual tension – a powerful thing, yet a very vague concept. It is a very hard thing to explain, but once you experience it with a girl, chances are you will hook up with her. So let us in this first post try to demystify the concept, then in the next post discuss how do create it – and more importantly, control it. Let us being by covering what sexual tension is.
Comments
As you become a sexier man,
As you become a sexier man, you will notice more sexual tension in your interactions with women. However, sexual tension in the workplace (in this feminist world) is often unwelcomed; you could be fired if a woman complains that she feels "awkward" (sexual tension) with you. So guys, know when to be the nice male friend when appropriate!
Pequeno rico hombre
Hey man!
Yes you are totally correct that the more "attractive you become" the more sexual tension you will experience. This is mostly due to, but not limited to:
- Higher confidence - you will not break the tension that quickly. (more on this in my next post)
- Stronger vibe - more intriguing and oftentimes more mysterious
- High compliance
- More calibration
Now about the workplace thing. I will not get political here, but in my opinion I dislike actually mixing work and pleasure. I don't like to "shit where i eat". Now this depends on where you work, but you are being paid to take up a role - a role you have to follow if you respect the agreement (if you don't you can always quit right?). But you are right a lot of the material I share is not fit for the workplace. We do however have articles on how to meet girls at the workplace, and it is clearly specified in those articles that they are fit for workplace.
-Alek
Sexy mannerisms+Past experience
Hey Alek,
I really like all your posts on non verbal tips, particularly the tips for a magnetic presence. I wonder whether you can share any sexy mannerisms for men, i.e. things to do with your hands, mouth, eyes, etc. I know this has been discussed here before but I wanted your opinion.
Secondly, you started pick up in your teens. I'm 17 and live with my parents. Cans you share some of your anecdotes back in your early years into seduction and how did your overcome problems such as logistics?
Cheers Alek,
Agent.
Agent
Hey Agent and thank you for your comment. I am glad you are enjoying my posts on non-verbal seduction. I can say that the next posts are going to be even more interesting as I will cover how to create sexual tension and then a post about maintaining it. In those posts There will be points about attractive male mannerism. It is very hard to go in detail about it over text, because usually it is all based on non-verbal subcommunication that we are not always conscious about - neither are you, nor the receptive girl (she picks on your subcommunication subconsciously!
There are things you can do consciously, which is what i will try to cover, for instance in my next post. But usually it all comes down to mental state, social and physical momentum (do you feel good? sexual? relaxed?... etc). Quitting masturbation, doing TRE (trauma releasing exercises) , meditation, healthy lifestyle, creating positive social momentum will affect your unconscious sub-communication. Check out my 7 last posts... each covers moves that you can use to come across as attractive. Here is the list! http://www.girlschase.com/articles/alek-rolstad
About seduction at a young age... those will require a series of posts. I will consider doing it, but I prefer finishing my ongoing project on non-verbal seduction first. But here are my advices:
- Logistics - yes it is true, it is very difficult to seduce girls at a young age based on logistical issues. Truth is, that was my biggest issue too. There are 3 solutions: creating spontaneous logistics (i.e. bathroom pulls, afterparties etc)... but in my opinion the best option is to screen for logistics... i.e. screen for girls with their own place and only go for girls with good-to-decent logistics. Then when it is time, you pull back to her place. I have probably 5 articles on the subject. But seducing girls with this handicap can be frustrating, but in the long run it simply makes you a better seducer because you will be forced to be bullet proof since you are dealing with handicaps.
http://www.girlschase.com/content/intro-logistics-get-her-alone-you
http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-take-her-home-and-extract-her-back... (I recommend reading this one even if you do not have your own place - it covers some key things in regards to logistics)
http://www.girlschase.com/content/going-her-place-tools-get-you-more-yesses
http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-use-after-parties-get-laid
http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-hook-when-you-have-no-logistics
- As a young man, I think the sexual route is by far the most efficient. At the end of the day, that is the only thing you really have to offer. Yes, you may seduce women your age with your "high school status", but we all know that playing the status game in high school is a though game and basically a bad long term investment (nobody will give a shit about your high school status when you graduate)
- Seduce women in their 20's and do not lie about your age. Just frame yourself as a mature 17 year old guy and blow their minds away. This is hard at first, but can work in your favor if pulled of right
- As a young man, you have the advantage of having time to practice and you will learn much faster. Yes some technical aspects of seduction such as logistics will be harder, but overall you are more lucky than most guys.
In all honesty, aside from logistics, cold approach game is more or less the same now as it was back then. I never really played that much around with social circles when i was younger.
Hope this helps. I will get back to this in individual posts. Thank you for your suggestions.
-Alek
I think you are onto
I think you are onto something, but not there yet. A good way to determine if something is understood, is if it can be defined in one sentence. This is more a collection of vague terms, that are already loaded with meaning from other contexts. (Though I do love the idea that sexual tension is always present and the key is to not diffuse it immediately, as we have been trained while learning to be social.)
What about this:
Sexual tension - An often slightly unpleasent feeling, when sexual need arises and opportunity for satisfaction seems available, yet the outcome is unclear.
So the ingredients are:
1. An intrinsic sexual need, often increased by sexual stimuly such as good looks etc.
2. The potential of sex occuring. So some degree of attainability is mandatory.
3. It is not obviously clear that sex will happen. For example because risk/reward calculations are still going on in both parties heads.
Ways to deal with sexual tension:
1. Diffuse it. For example when risks for negative social repercussions are too high.
2. Be optimistic about the chance of sex indeed happening and let it grow because sex might be more intense.
3. Use the chance to get indicators of both parties confidence, attraction levels and submissivenes. So wait a while and see who diffuses tension first. Girls getting more girlish and laughing about minor stuff is a sign you and the girl are up to something.
Someguy
Thank you for your comment and I agree - I should have summarized all of this into a single sentence - as you mention it has some pedagogic advantages.
Here is my summary of sexual tension in one sentence:
"A sexual state of limbo, creating a bubble of intrigue and mystery - creating a deep feeling of passion, which will only grow bigger and bigger, and the bigger it grows, the higher the tension grows, the level of passion follow, up til the point of no return"
I think this will be clarified in my next posts where I go 100% practical. There will be 2 practical posts on sexual tension coming up. This post served more as a groundwork, where I cover the different concepts - or pillars of what constitutes sexual tension, so that i can more freely play around with them in my next post and get straight to the juicy stuff. I have tendency to do that - start off with an overly abstract theoretical post covering concepts before going full-on practical in my next posts. This is no exception.
I also think there is an epistemic implication here: sexual tension is vague, and the power of sexual tension lies in the mere fact that it is vague. Being to "concrete about it" will not only create problems for our explanation of the phenomona, and might suppress its existence or even kill it. I would disagree with the part of your comment that covers risk calculation - which is a heavily rational economic term. I think that sexual tension bypasses those (and normatively speaking should bypass) the part of conscious rational decision making. The subconscious (this goes especially for women) does not communicate in concrete terms but rather in vague ones. Although I agree that for pedagogic reasons this is not ideal - so I think finding a balance when it comes down to how concrete one wants to become. That being said I agree with you that a summary in one sentence could have been useful. I will keep that in mind for my future posts.
When it comes to creating and "dealing" (I prefer the word "maintaining" - but let us not get overly semantic here) with sexual tension, all I can say is that i will dedicate my two upcoming posts to the subject.
"1. Diffuse it. For example when risks for negative social repercussions are too high."
I like this - and this is one of the things I plan discussing in the part about maintaining sexual tension - that sometimes it is worth breaking it before she or her friends does it - giving you less control over the situation.
"2. Be optimistic about the chance of sex indeed happening and let it grow because sex might be more intense."
Good one, I agree that this is an important per-requisites. How much actual effect such mindset may have can depend on the person.
"3. Use the chance to get indicators of both parties confidence, attraction levels and submissivenes. So wait a while and see who diffuses tension first. Girls getting more girlish and laughing about minor stuff is a sign you and the girl are up to something."
I agree - it is a strong sign of interest. However I would in those situation persist in creating more tension by avoiding her response (as long as it is not negative) and keep going full-on tension mode. This is also something I will discuss.
Thank you for your great comment!
-Alek
Wow, cool. :-) So a very
Wow, cool. :-) So a very important part of (strong) sexual tension is, that there is no longer a part of me overviewing the rest of myself acting in the situation, but rather I, the girl and maybe the closest surroundings all become one very primal state of mind/phenomenon. Borders of the conscious self are no longer existent and the world becomes very small, clear, energetic and loaded with meaning. Alive in a very positive way.
I feel you have gone further on the road of passion then me and I look forward to upcoming stuff. Make sure to include instructions how to experience thouse primal states and not leave babies left and right too :-)
Someguy
Yes man! looks like your pretty much got it. Good job. This will get even clearer when you get to understand the practicalities around it (if you don't already ) and after you get to really experience it in real life (if you haven't already).
There will be a change when it comes to the upcoming posts. There will not be two, but three practical posts on sexual tension coming up. I really want to nail this down and go all the way. I do not want to leave you the reader feeling there could have been said so much more about it. Next post will be about creating it, the one after that will be about maintaining it, and the last one about controlling it (and a bonus on amplification with the use of fractionation. So yeah stay tuned.
-Alek
Awkward silence as precursor of sexual tension?
You know I've never thought of it this way. An awkward silence is first and foremost tension, which you can either break or turn it from awkward to sexual.
The thing is that when I turn the tension sexual, whether from silence or not, and the girl breaks the tension by making a joke or something, I just figure she doesn't see me as a potential mate and move on. That mostly happens with acquaintances or girls I've known for a while. But I never thought of reengaging it later on.
Jimbo
Hi Jimbo.
Yes I am glad I made might have affected your perception of "awkward moments" - and reframed it into something positive. Now before I go any further let me make one thing clear: compliance is required in order to generate sexual tension... so if you haven't really "hooked the girl in" - as in opening and create that moment where you feel that you "in"... If the girl is not hooked in creating sexual tension is hard. So usually before you are in, you will have to... yeah... hook her in. In this case, awkward silence may not be beneficial. However once you are in, you can use it to your advantage.
The reason why the dating industry focuses so much on helping out guys dealing with "awkward silences" is because many men struggle with the first minutes of the interaction - opening, hooking and transitioning... a phase where awkward silence can be detrimental. I just wanted to make this clear. However once the factors I am about to list are checked, you can allow yourself to play around with the "awkward silence". These factors:
- You need to hook her in - there needs to be an actual interaction (either verbal or non-verbal) going between you and your goal.
- She needs to be at least a bit interested in you - neutral vibe at the best. The more compliance you get, the easier this is.
- I think that it is key to at least get some physical escalation going on - at least get her used to your touch before attempting anything more tricky. note however, that I have broken this rules many times, but usually it is easier to do thing that way.
About girls breaking the tension, allow me to make one thing clear: most girls are uncomfortable with it (hence why it creates "tension"). However I see her reactions as a sign that what you are doing has an effect on her. The biggest mistake men do in this situation is to back off - but why? Unless she gives you a negative sign, why back off? Keep persisting keep the tension going and disregard her reaction - keep doing what you are doing (unless she gives you a negative reaction - that means back off no matter what). This will communicate that you are a strong mysterious confident and sexual guy. I will really take women by storm! I will go much more in dept about this in my next two posts. I will also cover in dept the problematic you are facing, with solution that in my opinion works very well. I suggest you stay tuned. My next post will be about creating sexual tension - which may be interesting to you (I am personally very happy with the article), but in 2 weeks (approx) I will share how one can maintain and control it. This post will be a must read for you!
Thank you for your comment,
-Alek
Yeah I guess it really wouldn
Yeah I guess it really wouldn't hurt to break the mold when this happens and spice the tension up. At worst she'll respect your boldness.
Thanks for answering.
Bottom Line.
What works for me is that the basis for all of these techniques is my serious hunger for the girl. I try to reveal my sexual appetite for in very subtle ways to get that vibe going. If she's responding positively, then from there it becomes less mechanical and more natural...just play it cool, enjoy the ebb and flow of the sexual tide and vamp her.
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