Will Women Date You If You Have a Small Penis? | Girls Chase

Will Women Date You If You Have a Small Penis?

Chase Amante

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small penis
What do you do if you have a small penis? Does size actually matter to women? See what the science says… And how to stop worrying about this.

In “Men are Penetrators. Women are Receivers”, Pedro García requests:

Chase,

It would be greatly appreciated if you did an article on penis size. I know that it seems pretty random(or maybe it’s seeing the word penetrate a lot in this article) but I think that it’s a topic that needs to discussed... Please craft something of that nature in the future. Thank you!

And in “How Can I Get to the Sex Part?”, a reader named PH asks, in part:

Could you do an article on penis size? I was thinking a lot of guys have an average size penis because average is average so how does that compare to guys who have bigger ones v smaller ones for seducing a girl or a relationship.

My biggest hang up is having a relationship with a girl who has been with a bigger-package guy and I can’t compete because she can never feel it as much as the other guy so she’ll never have as good a time haha.

So today we’ll cover penis size.

This is a somewhat weird topic to touch, because it folds in a bunch of men in different places. Men affected by small penis concerns include:

  • Men whose penises may or may not be small, but they’re worried they are

  • Men whose penises actually are small, and they’re worried about this

  • Men who struggled to get women off, and fear maybe their penises are small

Further, this is almost exclusively a sexually inexperienced man problem. I’ve yet to meet or hear of a man with 15+ lays who worries much or at all about his length or girth. I’m sure there are a few out there, but they’re pretty darn rare. Regardless whether your penis is small or not, once you’ve been with enough women, you usually don’t much care about this.

In a way, it’s kind of like being the beginning piano player who worries his fingers are too thick. Or the rookie running back whose 40-yard dash is below average and worries he might not get picked for a team. Once you’re getting results in the thing, these concerns melt away because they stop being relevant.

So, my general advice to guys is, “Worry about doing better with girls, work on your sexual technique so you are getting girls off regularly... and you are not going to care about this anymore once you do.”

If you don’t care about the details, and just want the gist, that’s it right there. You can stop reading here. Go level up with girls, go level up your bedroom technique, and you’ll think it was silly you ever worried about penis length or thickness.

But if that isn’t enough for you, and you’re talking yourself out of talking to girls because you’re afraid they’ll be disappointed with your manhood, or you won’t be able to satisfy them, then lets disabuse you of those notions.

We’ll begin today with a look at where science stands on penis size, and go from there.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

Alexander Abraham's picture

I'm a grower and used to be OBSESSIVE over this 'tiny' issue.

Though after losing weight (I think it's like 35 pounds of extra fat covers up an inch of your penis) I discovered that I was close to average. It's not that I got any bigger, it's just that I didn't have as much covering myself up as I used to. Then after a few girls entered my life voila, no more worries.

So if you are worried about your penis size, like Chase says, just level up with women. And if you can, lose weight. Sure the health benefits are nice, and women look at me different and I have all of this energy now, but the real benefit is that I gained two whole inches! I'm on a mission to gain another half inch through exercise and diet lol.

GODBOSS's picture

Girls can dry hump their way to an explosive orgasm. lesbians, have the smallest peckers in the world, and they make it work.. somehow :p

SG's picture

Wow lots of interesting statistics on penis size!

Do you have any insight on penis curvature? For example my penis is curved downward and so adapted missionary is a little painful for me and my cock oftentimes slips out. I solved this by putting a pillow under her butt and that makes the sex doable, but I haven't been able to get my girl to cum. although, she's never had an orgasm before and hasn't learned to climax on her own either.

The position with her legs in the air/ draped over my shoulders seems to work best. Doggy style is the most fun for me, but I think it's a little too deep for her, and my penis will slip out if she doesn't arch her back.

I think length-wise I'm around average, never measured girth. I'm also not too experienced with sex and my girlfriend is asian so maybe she's a little tighter. But I'm wondering if there's any other modifications I should make to account for my downward curvature. (I suspect the main thing is that I need to teach her to climax on her own first)

PH 's picture

piggybacking on this, mine curves down a bit & also sideways kinda like a banana. how do you think this would matter? i'm still a virgin

i used to masturbate & im pretty sure thats how this happened for me. i don't masturbate anymore haha

Author
Chase Amante's picture

PH-

As far as I'm aware, curved penises are quite normal. Do an image search for 'erect penis' and you'll see plenty... maybe the majority (along with a bunch of messed up stuff, like severed penises / ball sacks, flayed penises with holes in the base... messed up. So maybe don't search for it).

There's a reason the curved banana is our seed-bearing structure of choice for representing the penis and not, say, the straighter eggplant, cucumber, or zucchini. It looks more like how most people conceive of how penises look.

Chase

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SG-

Well, the clitoris is on the front of her vagina (her ventral side; same side as her breasts and belly), so adapted missionary if yours curves down a lot won't be as pleasurable, yes. She won't get as much internal stimulation to the deep clitoris (part of the clitoris embedded in the ventral vaginal wall). On the other hand, rear entry / doggy style should be great for her.

If doggy is too deep for her (Asian girls' vaginas are generally shorter and tighter), I suggest you warm her up in other positions, then switch to doggy at the end. Once she's warmed up enough, her vagina will stretch out more, and some kinds of penetration that are painful to her when less warm become pleasurable when warmer.

Beyond that, I would say experiment with different positions and find which positions allow you to stimulate her without being painful for you or too deep for her. Then you can always switch to the deeper, more penetrating positions once she's very warmed up.

Chase

MoralPenis's picture

Let's say penis is not a problem. How to get a dominant girl (who is a leader in almost any group she puts herself in) to respect you?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

MP-

This way:

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up the Alpha Female

In particular, the "Dominance Smells Dominance" part. Execute on that part (and remove yourself from any head-to-head conflicts with her - either get on her side, or get out of her line of fire), and she will respect you.

Chase

Troy's picture

Hi Chase,

For the past few months a coworker has been eyeing me and we always had great conversations. She was always chasing me inside work, flirting and touching me. Now i am not a big fan of dating girls at work however what happened was that she was giving me so many signs saying she wants me to be her boyfriend.

I asked her out a few times and her excuse was always the same "I have to go home to cook dinner", "I have to do my hair", "i want to sleep".

And whenever i got back to work she would come back to me and tell me how we are going to get married and joke about us having sex.

So yesterday Friday we were go to a club with her best friend. Her friend was feeling bored and did not want to go again however i thought me and my coworker who likes me would go to the club still.

She makes up an excuse again "I have to go home to cook" but later i actually saw her writing a text to a guy "I will meet you at 7:30pm after i leave work". I was shocked and i called her out on it and now she has blocked me on messenger.

Chase i know i should have cut down my attention on her way before this happened but now i think i have completely blown it. What i am worried about is having to see her everyday at work and there be tension, plus she already told some of the ladies at work what happened so my reputation is dust now.

Chase if at all possible, could you write an article on specifically how to behave in a social circle environment where a girl has rejected me and told other girls about it? How do i relax, should i stay cool? Basically in environments where i cant run away and cut contact how do i cope?

Id really like to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks

Troy

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Troy-

Unfortunately, not my specialty. I would recommend you see if you can get a response from Hector, he's far more the social circle maven than I am.

When I've had girls reject me publicly in social circles (though it's been quite a while... I keep social circle and women I'm interested in completely separate these days, and have for years), my solution was always to go build preselection and stay cool. Usually at that point the girl gets re-interested and tries to get you back. If that happens, I suggest working overtime to get her to chase you into doing whatever you want to do with her. Otherwise, you risk a "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" scenario.

Chase

Anonymous 's picture

Ha. Funnily enough, I commented on 'Make Her Orgasm Hard from Sex in 8 Minutes or Less' way back when with this exact question. Even got some advice from Chase.

I can confirm that literally everything Chase has written has reflected my experience and journey out of this weird, destructive thought cycle. Ruminating on penis size took be further into destructive, self-hating thoughts that depression ever did, but once I forced myself to stop caring and focusing on learning to induce orgasm instead, it allowed me to mentally escape. And yes, getting laid, then getting a girl to actually orgasm where much bigger guys have failed, completely shattered any care about this.

As a side note - I agree this is ALL a problem in guy's heads. But for the record - I AM actually significantly below average (likely the smallest most girls will encounter), and it did change the way in which I interact with women; namely, I'm a little more measured in the way I express sexual confidence (simply because I know that there's a good chance that this is a deal-breaker for more experienced girls). The mentality I now go in with is this - 'I'm going to seduce her, and she's going to have a fun, sexy time which makes both of us feel great. If we fit, awesome. If we don't fit, it'll still be fun and it's nobody's fault. We can still play, and the next morning, go our separate ways with no hard feelings.'

My partner count is still embarrassingly low, but one girl was very happily responsive to this, even when it was clear that I was too small for her - we stayed on good terms and she even recently resurfaced, seemingly interested in meeting up again for another night (though, given my lack of experience, I might well be reading this completely wrong).

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Cool to see the evolution of your thinking.

For sure, girls who've had fun with you will often pop up later wanting additional rounds.

Women do not like adding to their notch counts, usually. So when they're horny and want something fresh, a past lover they haven't had in a while, whom they nevertheless have fond memories of, can be the perfect guy to provide this.

You may find as you gain more experience, your mentality shifts even further... likely first to perverse pride, then eventually complete indifference. Seems to have been the journey I've gone through. First it's "There is X horrible thing about me, and no woman will want me." Then it's "Screw it, I'm going to go for it anyway, X be damned." Next it is, "Haha, I am shagging this girl right now despite X flaw, even though there's a bar full of guys without X flaw who couldn't get her." Then eventually you just forget about X altogether and it isn't even in your thoughts.

Chase

PH 's picture

Hi Chase,

thanks for doing this article. you're on it caz i've never had sex w/ a girl so i am very inexperienced.

This line caught me

"If he’s like most men, he only makes her cum sometimes, and even then, she does not cum that hard."

From your experiences, what makes most guys like this in bed v being better?

I read some of the other sex articles on GC & they were about technique/how to & i plan to try those things out when i get a girlfriend but the root of my penis size fear was about what makes a difference in being good in bed for most girls - why were these/most guys mediocre in bed you said v the girl having a better time?

from the article, i can see now that penis size for most girls doesn't make that much of a difference

PH

Author
Chase Amante's picture

PH-

Seems to be mostly down to motivation to me:

Being Really Really Good in Bed

I suppose if we lived in a world where every man was deeply motivated to be good in bed, that'd be a world in which inherent traits like having the perfect penis would matter a lot more, since it'd be one of the few differentiaters.

But fortunately for men (if unfortunately for women), only a small chunk of men cares enough about bedroom skill to take the time to perfect that craft. Which means physical considerations are mostly sidelined if you get the skill set down.

Chase

Bastian's picture

Hey Chase,

I'm worried this article will have a negative effect on our African readers. I've read and gone through dozens of discussions on the average penis size, and besides finding no significant difference between African and Caucasian penises, it is certain that 6.9" is on the low end "huge cock" territory and nowhere near the average or even SD of African penises. In fact, it's just a tad lower than Johnny Sins cock and about half an inch bigger than James Deen. Mandingo, the undisputed KING of monster cocks is about 9.5 inches, the very limits of human penis size. Porn guys aren't as much as 1% of penis size as above average and hella good with cameras (using smaller-than-average women helps with illusions).

Also remember that Large (and XL/XXL) condoms start at 5 - 5.2 inches of girth, that's quite a bit more than barely above-average. Condoms in the US can't legally be wider than 57mm, making guys with over 5.5 - 5.75 inches of girth import condoms from overseas.

There's also the fact that guys with girthier penises don't get good blowjobs since it becomes uncomfortable to suck on something that stretches her mouth. And that's not even talking about the teeth!

But I digress, saying that 6.9 inches is the average for Africans is detrimental to the average African-descended reader, who very likely has an average penis (5 - 5.8 inches) rather than the top 10% of human penis size. While they might have large penises than other ethnicities on average (penis size is related to pre-natal testosterome and digit-ratio), the difference between the 3 are extreme.

A nice calculator/source of average penis size: https://calcsd.bitballoon.com/

A NSFW measurement of porn guy sizes: https://pornmeasurements.tumblr.com/

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Bastian-

Great comment and great data. Just updated the article to link readers to this comment from you.

I've seen more claims online to this effect recently, that average black male penis sizes may be no greater than average white male penis sizes. I confess not to know which measurements / studies / surveys are most accurate, so as far as I'm concerned this one is 'up for dispute'.

If you're a black guy reading this and worried you're below average because your size is closer to the average Caucasian size and not the average African size, it might in fact be the African numbers are inflated and you are in fact average (or even above average).

(also, in general, these penis size metrics are all over the place. Sometimes I see the average white male penis length listed as 5.2", other times 5.3", other times 5.8", for instance, and it's the same for Asian and African members. Seems quite hard to get a truly accurate average measurement by race or region)

Chase

Shasha's picture

I have a 4.5 inch erect length and 4 inches in girth, and every girl that I have been with says am small, also no matter how hard I fuck in the end I have to use my tongue and hands to get her off, and hence no girl sticks around for longer with me. So for somebody like me their isn't much to do, life is sad FML...... and this so call doctors say me to be good at other things, which I already am but wish u doctors ever understood that girls don't stay when you have penis of my size.....

brooklynboi's picture

I guarantee everyone will find this extremely insightful: This is a post on reddit where female users have an extremely honest conversation about penis preferences: https://np.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/in5dh7/im_declarin...

It's very hard to find completely honest opinions from most women in real life when talking to them as a man about penis preferences. I found this reddit post very interesting because all the commenters are women being completely honest on the internet. Go ahead and check it out for yourself, but here are the key insights I found:

The women commenting in the post all had very specific and very strong preferences for penises. Every detail about the a man's penis seemed to be a major make-or-break factor in their sexual satisfaction and ability to orgasm. That's not to say that bigger was always better, but for each individual woman there seemed to be ideal size, shape, and aesthetic criteria that strongly influenced the way they felt about men's penises. Specifically, many women strictly require a large (7 inches or above) penis for orgasm, with a slightly thicker than average girth. These women tended to feel that "a small penis is useless" and they simply could not feel anything, much less achieve orgasm from a small penis. However, a decent percentage of commenters stated they required an average size penis (5–6 inches) with average girth, and that a larger size penis was unacceptable due to pain and discomfort.

But there was much more that matters than just the size of a man's penis—other factors seemed be almost as important. The women commenting universally stated that men who's penises were too soft and could not stay erect were useless and provided little to no feeling. This was completely regardless of size: a large penis that could not stay hard was as useless as any other. A man's ability to stay hard and erect is primarily related to both physical fitness, and erectile disfunction due to excessive porn use and masturbation, according to the commenters.

Furthermore, very surprisingly, the shape of a man's balls seemed to be verrry important to women: balls that were "loose and saggy like a grandpa's balls" were "disgusting" to the commenters. They preferred "tight and youthful" balls instead. I think women would be shocked to realize that the same man's balls can be both "saggy old grandpa" and "tight and youthful". If we're warm and relaxed (like we usually are when having sex), it'll be saggy like melting cheese in plastic wrap, and if we've just come out of a cold shower they can literally sink into our groin and become tight and flat. I think women who don't realize this are in for a rude awakening LOL

I think one should note that chase in this article concluded that most women do not orgasm often, regardless of a man's penis size, therefore a man who can make a woman orgasm, whether large or small, should have no sexual problems whatsoever. Although my research made it seem like some women simply need large dicks and anything smaller is unacceptable, I don't think it necessarily invalidates chase's point. The evidence could still be consistent with chase's point that most men fail to make women orgasm in general and one who can really stands out, regardless of his size. Most women in the post unsurprisingly reported that it was generally hard to achieve orgasm through PIV sex but larger penises seemed to do it better, but it could simply be that bad overall sexual technique was the controlled variable in this case? The results might be different when you factor in truly legendary sexual technique, which is chase's point. I would leave that up to speculation.

A couple critical concluding remarks. The demographic we're taking this data from is reddit after all. This obviously skews towards women who give enough of a damn their dick preferences to take their opinions to the internet. Long internet debates tend to attract a certain type of person (girls chase itself is an example of this, lol). Point being, this is probably not a complete representation of all women at large. Women who aren't picky and choosy about men's dicks aren't going to come to reddit to share their feelings about it. So we may easily be staring into an echo chamber here, just like if you looked an online forum of men screaming that "only virgins with super tight pinhole vaginas feel good, fuck everything else" you'd be very confused and wonder where these outliers came from. If considering this I think the information is very useful.

Finally, many women reported that women's vaginas really have a ton of variation in size, shape, etc., like men's penises. This surprised me personally as a guy since almost all vagina's I've been inside in myself felt almost the same to my memory, except for one that was extremely tight (a sexually inexperienced girl). So I believed that except for the rare exceptional case of super-tight near-virgins, women's vaginas are just about the same everywhere. But the commenters remarked that each individual woman has different needs for penis size, since women have such a huge variety in the size of their own vaginas. In conclusion, I can only think that your penis size is "ideal" when it's neither giant nor tiny and it matches the vagina of the woman you're with, which can vary wildly in size. I personally have a small dick (5" exactly) and to a few girls even I was pretty big (hitting the cervix or filling them like a body builder in women's tank tops). Godspeed my friends

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