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One of our readers, Richard, asked about approach anxiety in the comments
section of my last article on Girls Chase about dating for introverts:
“Colt, I must genuinely thank you for your article as, without consciously labeling my game as introverted, it is. Sex hasn't meant a whole lot to me, and even after opening several women, I generally only end up holding onto a few of the girls I meet. I respect what you write, and I greatly look forward to your future articles. That being said though, I have a few friends who introverts as well, and though my game has gotten worlds better, I can't get them over their massive approach anxiety, what worked for me hasn't worked for them. Any advice for the introverted man who has approach anxiety? You've become a huge inspiration for me man. Thank you,
Richard”
Approach anxiety is a topic that resurfaces from time to time on this site, addressed in articles such as "How to Approach a Girl Wherever You Are (Easily)" and "How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor, Part IV" and a smattering of other pieces. It was even systematically addressed by Chase in "Overcoming Approach Anxiety."
Yet, despite these excellent write ups, so many of our dear readers (as well as male friends of my own) continue to complain of completely freezing whenever they try to talk to an attractive woman.
I know exactly how this goes. Well... at least I used to. Approach anxiety was by far my biggest hurdle in greatly improving my skills with women. Bar none. I read everything I could, I talked to everyone I could possibly talk to, and did whatever was necessary to try to address the crippling anxiety I had.
Now, it’s not something I really think about anymore.
So team, I am now going to offer you a comprehensive post on approach anxiety; one from my own perspective, to complement Chase's previous piece and the other articles on this site that deal with the subject, to share with you everything I learned, the pitfalls you should avoid, and how you should go about moving forward. It is my hope that this will be the last post you will ever need on the topic.
Comments
Big Thanks
Colt, beautiful article, and truly inspiring. Lately, I was having problems with approach anxiety in addition to my friends. I was all over the boards talking to 3-4 of the Tribal Elders and Moderators and they gave me sound advice, everything from changing my environment to force me to change with women, to changing my physiology upon approach, and now you write this spectacular article. I love that you guys genuinely take an interest in getting guys better with women, and with all the advice and information I've acquired, I'm going to start breaking my approach anxiety starting today, and I have no one to thank but you guys.
-Richard
Excellent.
This is an excellent article, Colt. You go into great, clear detail about some of the methods that I had to use to combat approach anxiety.
This should be a staple read for any beginner looking to march over the hill that is approach anxiety. I hope everyone gives this a look.
Again, great stuff, Colt. I look forward to more material from you!
- Franco
Franco, I appreciate the
Franco, I appreciate the love! I look forward to writing more.
A response
Colt, thank-you!
This was an excellent piece and came right at the time when I was about to give up on an opportunity because of my brain creating excuses and reasons why it won't work. I shot off on the opportunity right after reading this article - I hope it goes my way but I don't mind the response either way. I'm asking for a crazy investment from someone who I imagine is very busy with their own stuff. I would never know if I listened to my gut minutes before this article was read. Hopefully it goes well
Sorry for the write up, I'm just happy I was able to overcome myself rather easily with your help. In the end I'm not going to lose anything anyway!
Knight
Last Minute Action
Knight,
I'm glad that you decided to take action as you really do have nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out, there is an endless supply of girls out there for you to meet.
Though, on your point of asking for a really big investment, I would say to be careful on that one. Obviously I don't know the details of the situation, but usually following your gut instincts is the way to go. That's not to say let your brain prevent you from asking, but maybe your gut was telling you to ask for a smaller investment.
Either way, good luck with your situation and know that as long as you keep working, things always work out in the end.
-Colt
Correction
Just a quick correction. I have a masters in neuroscience and I just wanted to clarify that the reptilian brain does not include the amygdala. The amygdala is actually part of the more evolved Paleomammalian complex or mammalian brain. But you're correct when you mention the fear response, for which the amygdala is responsible.
Correction
Duly noted, thanks for the correction (and I love the username)!
-Colt
Love the part about life and
Love the part about life and girls not owning sht for your efforts. Rewards come and go. Girls come and go. You have to have your systems in place and stick with the journey.
We have right only to our labor, not the fruits of our labor
Thanks, great content, truly
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