How to Physically Escalate in Public with Girls | Girls Chase

How to Physically Escalate in Public with Girls

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Alek Rolstad's picture

physical escalationPhysical escalation is how you take things from platonic to sexually loaded and heaving with desire and anticipation with a girl, often in a short span of time. Escalation is often all the difference between being a girl’s friendly guy pal and being her lover.

We’ve covered physical escalation in various forms on this site before:

... however, what I want to focus on in today’s article is a comprehensive look at physical escalation in an interaction with a girl, while out, say, in a bar or on a date. How do you get her aroused, horny, and sexually excited in public with you?

That’s the question I’m answering today.

Comments

TR's picture

Hey Alex, this is all great stuff, but where would you define a simple arm around her back - like the romantic type you see on any couch. Is that too much in BF territory like holding hands or would you say its a solid option to build initial comfort. My experience tells me the latter but I'm far from an expert.

I have to escalate a girl I have a meeting with from a social context to a sexual one in my apartment soon and am wondering whether I should get the arm over immediately to solidify comfort from the outset or whether I should just keep it sexy and use my nonverbals/demeanor, which I know she loves anyway.

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Hi TR. good question from you.

First of all the main point of physical escalation is to go from a social vibe into a sexual one. what you are talking about can work and can help you out, especially when it coems to create comfort physically, however it can backfire drastically.

The way this can backfire, is that it can fuck up her perception of you - she might perceive you as a boyfriend potential and not purely as a sexual man. But isn't the following a good thing, especially if you want her as a girlfriend?

The answer is no. The reason is because when women perceive one man as a potential boyfriend, they also often perceive him as a good guy, a provider and often times also a beta male. This means that you might enter into a relationship on the wrong terms. Even worse is when you communicate to her that you are the one trying to get her into a relationship. This can lead to 2 different negative outcomes:
1) You will enter into the relationship on her terms, because you are the one willing to enter the relationship, which puts her in control of the situation because she is now holding the cards (because you are now chasing her)
2) The natural waysexually attractive do things is that we make sure women fuck us, then women make sure they get to keep us - this sets a frame of us being the prize.

Also there is no better way to get into a relationship than being a sexual man, get laid, satsifie hersexual needs so much that she wants you to become her boyfriend.

So to me, the best way is to no matter what trying to be perceived as a sexual man, a man that provides sex - good sex. Everything else is just a waste of time. Because once you get to fuck her in a good way, you have a lot of options (ask yourself who is more likely to get a girlfriend, a man who fucks a girl well, or a man who have created a so called "emotional connection" without having sex with the girl?).

To me, this kind off romantic move is something that can only be used if the frame bwetween you and the girl is clearly a sexual one - when you know that from you, the only thing she can expect at the moment is good sex. In this case you are free to use such a move in order to create some comfort. However in situations where you don|t truly know what's up, then avoid doing the following.

Glad you liked the post

Cheers
-Alek

TR's picture

Thanks Alek, I love the way you break things down to each possible component. I've been noticing that girls love proximity above anything else, so I'm planning on just keeping a sexy aura through our meeting and rewarding her with some touch as we really start to get into it.

Also, I'd like to request that somebody could write up an in-depth article on proximity, because recently its been so amazing for me that anything else seems like unnecessary extra work. Learning multiple ways to inspire it smoothly is my #1 goal for right now.

Just last night I walked over to a girl lounging at a couch and in less than a minute I was stroking her hair and whispering in her ear - its such a rush of power to be able to watch a girl get horny just by letting time pass. I should have invited her home or at least grabbed a # (I had to leave), but I'll just cement that in my head so I don't blow it next time. I didn't have good logistics for the night anyway so I'm not kicking myself too hard.

Thanks again Alek, keep up the good work. We really appreciate it.

someone's picture

has got to be the best sexual escalation manual i've seen ever
so simply written and so effective information dispersal
exactely what I was looking for, thanks!

tklightning's picture

Good stuff Alek. I've a question I think you can help me with. I was wondering on how you might physically escalate with a girl you meet in school, specifically when you sit next to her in a lecture hall. I've had my leg rest up against another girl's leg when I met her, but I think I might be able to do more than that when I first meet a girl in a lecture hall. Thanks - Tyler

Author
Alek Rolstad's picture

Tyler Davis,

Hi thanks for the kudos.

My answer to your question is that you should not escalate on a girl at the uni especially not during a lecture or in a lecture hall. The reason is because she will put up a lot of resistance (actually shitloads) because her social circle is there, people she knows, people she will meet everyday.

If you re-read my post you will see that there a part covering isolation. Idolation is key becase if you are not isoalte you increase the chances that she will put up some resistance. Also to most girls there are a lot of things that she will resist to unless she is isolated with you.

The reason is because women get labelled as a slut for beign sexual. Therefore the more she feel exposed, the more protective she will become. If you are isolate with her, chances are that nobody will find out what happened between you and her. therefore she will also feel more comfortable about opening herself up to you sexually if you are isolated.

In this scenario, you can flirt and stuff with her at the lecture hall, but let your physical moves remain rather innocent. Yuo can still touch her, but i would stay away from touching any parts that are intimate (legs are rather intimate). You can touch areas which are socially accepted to touch in this situation. An example of this would be touching her upper arms of shoulders.

The ideals way to proceeed is to flirt and get a certain connection and invite her out for a drink (near your palce for obvious reasons) and rather do the physical escalatiopn there (or at your place)in order to avoid getting shitloads of resistance.

Also, honestly I don|t like to make things more difficult than necessary. Picking up girls at your school rarely works and when it does, it usually causes much more drama than if you met a random girl at the club. There is also a lot more work to do (a lot of shitwork, like handling shittests, women not answering texts, women flaking... giving lmr) in such a situation. Just saying :)

-Alek

Anonymous's picture

Hi Alex. Great way of breaking it down, thankfully I think I have been doing some of these things already with a girl I like but reading certainly helps. I have a question, you may be able to help.

I'm getting mixed signals from this girl. (Yes I've read the articles regarding this). I first met her when we worked together for a few weeks over summer last year with work based away from our respective homes. She is quite the flirtatious type but had a boyfriend at the time anyway, so we were only every friends. Then this year we again were working there together, based there for a a month or so. This time she was single I think recently broken up with her bf. Our interaction was good, always a lot of flirting and the vibe was positive. However, at the time I think I subconsciously played it safe, as I thought she was a massive tease. So I guess I was never optimistic about making anything happen at that time and my intentions were never solid. In hindsight I can see I made mistakes. We went on a few work nights out where I think now I may have missed my escalation window to make my move, by getting too drunk.

Anyway we live not too far from one another and had always said we'd go on a night out or something when were back home. About a month later I message her on FB chat (I know now, bad move!) to see how she is blah blah boring chat and mention about going out soon. A few weeks later I tell her I'm going out with some old mates in a town nearby to her and would be good if she could make it. She responded positively and said she had a party but would be out after. We meet up out and the vibe is really good. Lot's of physical escalation, she's out with friends but pays me a lot of attention away from them. Anyway I end up moving in grab her cheek and we make out. She seems relieved and vaguely remember her wondering why I didn't make a move months ago. She goes to find her friends and disappears, but that was expected as we both had pre arranged destinations later (I had friends staying over and had to take them back) and there was no chance of hooking up.
Next day she texts me see how our night was . I reply with the usual answers and some flirty banter, told her to have a good week, conversation ends. Note: she takes a long time to reply to texts. Intending to set up a meet, I txt her about 4/5 days later in afternoon to break ice expecting quick reply before I would then ask. She doesn't reply till late that night, I ask if shes busy this weekend? She then replies next evening (Fri) saying she has a house party tonight but not much else. Knowing she'd still be up and out I text back late (early morning) and asked if she wanted to do something the next evening? she replies much later excusing herself saying she would but has the worst hangover ever... hmmm. and she will let me know later. Anyway turns out she was still not feeling up to it. I text saying it's a shame was short notice anyway and to feel better soon. (Not the best text). Haven't spoken since.

I am now wondering whether this girl has just gone cold on me and if I missed my window. We don't see each other regularly and so I won't see her in person. Should I follow least effort and wait for this girl to get back to me, or just next her?

sam b's picture

Today during my 2 hr break I took a little walk by where I work. I met this really sexy swedish girl walking and I approached her and invited her to a nearby coffee shop. We talked for about 20 mins. Bad news is that she's only in town till midnight bc she's a flight attendant. I was literally stuck on how I could take her bed. Obviously I had no time and she was leaving the same day. So I just took her to a park, we talked for a few mins then right away I went for the kiss. She rejected then a min or two later I try again and she goes in. I could tell she had interest (thx to this site i've learned so much) she asked me if I do this often and I said no, i'm only doing this bc ur leaving tonight.
The more we stuck around it was getting a bit more strange but still not too bad. She started wrapping her arms around mine and I walked her back to her bus station and now she's gone.

She did say she would request to come back to my city.

It could be a month or longer. I was thinking wait around and see if she'll text me first. Or should I take initiative to text her first. I don't like texting for so long very boring to me. However I would love to see this girl again.

If anyone can give me some good solid advice I would appreciate it very much.

Adrian's picture

You've got a really good post regarding physical escalation in public, but I still have a question.
I just got to college and a lot of girls are flirting with me, but I don't know how to get them to my place. I was once making out with one of them and I really turned her on, I could feel it in her breath, in her reactions, but because we were in a public place there was no way we could have sex. I told her "hey let's go to my place and watch a movie or something". She first said yes, but then the magic was gone and her rational mind came in. As a result, she refused, eventually.
The point is this: how can I get girls to my place and be alone with them? Or how can I have sex with them in other places? This has been annoying me for some time and it's really frustrating.
Thanks again for the post,
Adrian.

Anonymous2131's picture

Dude I find this very usefull (theorically speaking) and everything makes total sense but somehow I CANT escalate with girls. Like a lot of friends always tell me that lots of girls find me handsome and that I should fuck more girls but when it comes to escalate I always end up in the friendzone or girls loses interested cuz they get bored, and the reason is I just dont know how to take things further…

I always have a good start I present myself as a social guy and they like that, I look into her eyes, I speak secure of myself, and I act independent but there is a certain point in the interaction when I dont know what to do anymore, and I know that in that moment I need to move things to a next level just that i dont know how so they stop seeing me as a potential lover, or fuckbuddy or whatever they're thinking. I cant get any girl to like me dude they all look like disappointed or something (you know what I am talking about). Any advise or something? Shits drivin me crazy xD

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