GIRLS CHASE MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION
• Unlimited access to GirlsChase.com
Since pretty much the beginning of humanity, men have considered "Female Logic", or the female way of thinking, to be one of the greatest mysteries in the universe. Psychoanalysts, philosophers, and poets have all spent countless hours agonizing over this topic.
Well, the good news is that female logic (also known as chick logic) can be explained to men in a perfectly understandable way. You can learn how female logic works just like you can learn the functions of a computer or the technical specifications of a car.
First of all, based on what we considered in Chapter 1 with regards to Evolutionary Psychology, let's stipulate that every function of the human brain has an evolutionary purpose. The evolutionary purpose of female logic is to achieve two basic goals:
- To create ideal conditions for the procreation and birth of children, and ideal conditions to protect those children during their early years of development.
- To influence the men and the environment that surrounds her to give her and her children support and protection. This influence commonly manifests in behaviors that any guy would recognize as "manipulation." However, in this context, feminine influence may be seen as a positive force, used by a woman instinctually as a means to support human life.
A woman naturally achieves these goals by creating within herself a sense of emotional congruence. While creating such emotional states within herself, the woman is especially concerned with "how she feels right now", as opposed to a male-logic concern of "how A correlates to B, or how A is the cause of B." In psychologically healthy women, these will mostly be emotions of pleasure and safety. In other women, drama, histrionics, and hysteria serve a similar purpose.
In the following discussion, the reader should keep in mind we are not making any value or moral judgments. Emotional reasoning is very likely deeply embedded into humans, if not all mammals. Human males have simply evolved a further characteristic of being more able to easily suppress emotional reasoning, although the way some modern men act can makes you wonder.
Comments
You're becoming too technical
Hey Joe,
I really, really think that you're a very intelligent guy who knows your shit really well, but you could write way more impactful posts with some things in mind.
And I really liked your earlier posts on psychology, as it is a topic that greatly captivates my interest. However, you should realize that the typical guy that comes here is looking for an article with practical advice on how to get better with woman. Your articles have becoming increasingly complex for the medium you're using (i.e., posts on an Internet website).
Also, since your posts goes very deeply into psychology, and I'd say most men get contact with when they're in LTRs, I have a feeling you know a great deal about relationships. I'm eager to read more about this because this is a subject that could have a little more focus on GirlsChase. Here's some feedback on your writing:
1) Use more examples. Preferably personal examples from real girls you've been with. Write out the dialog. Show us how you handled a particular situation. One of the great reasons we love Chase is because he's able to provide steps for us to follow immediately.
2) Focus on practical advice. You could've greatly summarized everything you wrote before "Practical Advice." I read the entire article while thinking "OK, so when you're going to show me how to make my relationship better with this in mind?" Unless you really go after researching, summarizing, putting into words, it's hard to remember this stuff. What we remember were able to take reduce drama and have a less stressful relationship. In fact, I thought you were to discuss that here:
Most of us guys just want to relax when we get into a committed relationship with a woman. In a sincere attempt to relax, we will subconsciously start with attempts to control her behavior.
But you lost me in the following phrases.
Also, I didn't really get away with much from the practical advice section because there were no examples so I could recognize the patterns and apply what you're teaching.
3) There are great books on writing styles on Amazon, and almost all of them advocates using simpler words and simple phrases. Check this out: http://www.hemingwayapp.com/
There's no need to say
Then, it is a very predictable, masculine trait to try to preserve peace in one's home or any positive state of being
When you could say "Guys don't like drama."
Hi Joe, to a certain extent I
Hi Joe,
to a certain extent I agree with the author above. I think there is so much and deep psychological knowlegdge in your arcticles and we can learn so much more of it by getting more examples as mentioned above.
Thanks for the feedback...
Thank you for the feedback. If you read my first article for Girls Chase, you'll know that a lot of this writing was done 7 and 8 years ago. I believe my writing has improved considerably since then :-) But, I will definitely make a note to give more personal examples from my own life that will make the theory less esoteric and more practical for the reader.
You wrote:
"There's no need to say
Then, it is a very predictable, masculine trait to try to preserve peace in one's home or any positive state of being
When you could say "Guys don't like drama."
In this case, I was assuming it's obvious to everyone and their dog that "guys don't like drama". I was attempting to explain the psychological reasons WHY guys don't like drama.
Specifically here, women have a compulsion to extract resources from men: emotional, mental and financial resources. Also, women have an overpowering compulsion to extract *sperm* from men.
Men, on the other hand, want to conquer dragons (metaphorically) in order to have peace at home.
In a time when:
1. Most men are just corporate plugs accomplishing very little for the benefit of their families and society. True, they bring home a paycheque, but the percentage of men who feel their work is "meaningful" in any true sense, is probably smaller than it's ever been
2. Women are earning just as much as men do in most cases. In fact, contrary to popular memes, good looking women will get promoted faster, reprimanded slower, and see opportunities for promotion that the average dude will almost never get.
Women have a need to look up to their man, to view him as a hero. That's what shit testing is about - if you're not conquering dragons, then she will create drama, in the hope that you'll conquer her psychologically.
Be honest - getting a dramatic woman to calm down is one of the most difficult things for a man to do! But some men can do it., or give off the appearance that they can do it, and those are the men women gravitate towards, if not in reality, then in their fantasies with their romance novels and vibrators.
Men do not like drama because they feel they face enough of it at work. They want their home to be a haven and a place of peace. They do not understand why a woman should create drama when the man, in his opinion, is "doing everything right". Hopefully, understanding Female Psychology on a deeper level will give the man some insights as to why drama occurs, why he hates it so much, and some clues as to how to alleviate the problem.
"Guys hate drama" has been commiserated about in bars and on the golf course since the beginning go time. This is my attempt to provide a little more depth to the issue. I don't see any value in simply repeating "guys hate drama", which would be redundant.
I'm glad my comment didn't
I'm glad my comment didn't come as hate. Reading it again it seems I was I little bit harsh.
In fact, I'm not in a LTR right now, and it isn't an aspect of the game that I'm focusing. I read articles like these because the're captivating and interesting, but I got frustrated once it became so theoretical and I couldn't keep up with it. I think these articles could feel more like a workshop and less like a college class, that's all :)
I read your first article, and now that it comes to mind, one chapter per post may be a little too "in-depth." I believe your writing has improved because your reply to my comment was way, way simpler but way better than what's written in the article!
Keep it up. I love the topics of your articles, but providing some context and simpler wording would skyrocket their effectiveness.
Please remove this article
Please remove this article. It is confusingly theoretical and not useful to your readers.
What?
Please DO NOT remove this article. This is filled with invaluable information! Get smarter and learn, no matter how painful or difficult. What are you even doing on this site if not to better yourself as a man?
Why
Remove the article simply because YOU don't find it helpful?
And where do you know that this arcticle is not useful for me?
If you don't object I would prefer to speak for myself.........
Need more on this topic
I'm interested in seduction techniques for converting a LD to HD girl in a LTR. Are there any articles on that? Also, as above poster said, I would love some examples. I feel this article needs a follow up or some exponunciation.
At the very least I want to know more about a woman being more sexually interested when she gets more in tune with her primal emotions, how to get her to feel more sexual emotions, and how to convert her to a HD.
Hope to read more soon.
Great questions!
These are great questions! I do have a future article coming, based again on a chapter in the book, which discusses the female sex drive and some tips and tricks for spiking it. Here's a couple of quick pointers:
- Aloofness. Our entire culture revolves around man supplicating to woman, from getting down on one knee offering a ring when proposing marriage, to paying on dates and so on. I'm not going to get into who should pay on dates here, but I want you to understand the MINDSET that's at work, that needs to be flipped on its head.
Simply put, whenever a man NEEDS a woman, NEEDS a relationship, NEEDS her affection, it's actually a turnoff for the woman. She cannot be your number one priority in life, in spite of what all the cheesy love songs say.
You have to have other options for your time and energy other than trying to gain her notice and affection. You give a correct impression that you've got other female prospects by: continuing to boldly approach women and start conversations with them; attend social functions that stretch your comfort level; put your time and energy on women who respond to your brand of charm, and withdraw from those who do not.
If you're really green with women, then you can and should supplement what I said in the previous paragraph with investing yourself into work, a new business idea, hobbies, and platonic social networking. All of these things increase your value and decrease your neediness.
True, a desirable man will walk, talk and act in a certain way. We can reverse engineer his body language and his verbals, such as the famous DHV. But a man who is doing all of the things I mentioned in the previous paragraphs, will NATURALLY start speak and act in a certain way that is attractive.
Everything I just said ESPECIALLY applies to you if you're in a long term relationship. You do NOT want to spend every free moment cuddling on the couch watching movies with her, hoping for sex. Get up and let her know – not in a butthurt way but genuinely – that her pussy isn't the only thing that's important to you.
Your body produces millions of sperm per day. That represents a tremendous amount of power and energy. You can channel all of that into your main woman, which is what most guys tend to do, and it will backfire! You have the capability of impregnating several women... by investing all of your masculine strength into "the relationship" it implies that your lineage would literally DIE OUT without her blessing - no woman wants to be in that position, in fact, it will directly result in dryness between her legs!
You don't need to "cheat" on your LTR, but you do need to act that while you love and appreciate her, you don't NEED her. "Relationship" should be something she desires and asks for, and you concede to her, NEVER something you're constantly seeking from the woman.
Increase a woman's sex drive by acting the way nature intended for a man to act, and not the way cultural brainwashing would lead us to believe we should act.
A woman is never number one,
A woman is never number one, and usually not number two. Have desires and interests outside the bedroom. Are these the seduction tactics, or is there more? I was imagining some verbal game.
How to beat chick logic when it can be a destructive force?
I actually like your writing style idk why the previous commenter seems so butthurt.
Anyways, I do agree with the previous commenter in that we could use some more practical examples. The gist of your post is that women use emotions to relate to and associate with the world, and they're not necessarily logical associations. So how does the leader of a relationship use this to his advantage to remain calm during her schizophrenic episodes(drama)? I have a temper problem, especially when I'm invested in a relationship, and I have to deal with a woman saying or doing brazen things designed to get an emotional response....out of the ordinary dramatic things that Are childish. stupid. It's easy to write down: stay calm and withdraw emotional attention or walk away!! But in practice it's hard especially when the feeling is "I need to get revenge on this bitch." So How to remain calm during a woman's brazen drama when it seems like she's acting like a child and she's deliberately trying to hurt you??? And also what's the chick logic behind that (deliberately trying to ruin my emotional state?) why do some women do this especially when it's not done to them???
It's true that in my experience some women didn't show much if empathy for most of my major life problems (career-wise or even issues with society). I've even been told by one woman flat out that she doesn't have empathy. And she seemed proud of this. What's the chick logic behind the no empathy phenomenon? (Since some other women seem to care)? Why do women enter into relationships with a man If they don't have much empathy for his problems and their behavior comes off as extremely self-obsessed? What to do about a low empathy woman?
One suggestion is to be non-needy. Two questions on this: How best to be non-needy in relationships? and if you're 100% non-needy, not sharing issues that greatly affect you emotionally, then what's the point of being in a relationship? Other than conversation and sex?
I think our society is taking independence a little too far. Why enter into a relationship if you're willing to walk away on the drop of a dime as soon as the other person does something that annoys you instead of working to solve issues as they crop up? To me that's no relationship that's s product that you use until it is no longer useful or something better comes along. A while ago I had a woman like that, always threatening to break up like she was trying to control me, and then when I'd ignore her for days then she'd enter into a jealous rage accusing me of having other women...even though she's the one who initiated the breakup!!!! Wtf is going on with some of these women????
To me it feels weird to learn that not only should I not be sharing issues that affect me deeply (and could make me seem weaker than the image a woman has in her mind of what a man should be...why should I care about image in a relationship??) It's almost sounding to me like you're saying provide women with a listening ear, get them feeling much more invested in me by sharing their true selves with me, while I don't share as much and I solve my own problems on my own and give off the appearance true or not of being this in control guy who handles everything with ease and poise, and be ready to walk away at the drop of a dime.
My mental model of relationships seems to conflict with this approach. Maybe that's why I fail with Western women. It almost seems like in the Western sphere, he/she who cares the least about the relationship has the most power. And everybody is power hungry. But if you don't care about the relationship then why are you in it in the first place...why invest any energy at all in someone who cares about the relationship less than you do? It doesn't make sense.....
So as you can see I'm confused. I hope you take some time to address these questions because I'm out of ideas with Westerm women eSpecially those from big cities. They're the most aloof of the species it's almost like living among millions of people cause (or correlates) with low empathy and emotional distance. And the more I mess with these kinds of women, particularly the advanced ones, the more I get killed because I get frustrated too easily. I need to level up and be calmer when others attack my ego. But I don't know how yet.
Another quick tip...
5 years ago I was going through a bad breakup with a woman like you describe, and I'm here to tell you, I lost my cool more than once. A friend gave me a tip: change the ringtone for that girl to something that makes you LAUGH. So in my case, it was literally "lol the circus is coming!"every time she messaged me. It was a small thing but it helped me a lot :-)
Learn deep Meditation. It
Learn deep Meditation. It helps me to let go and be unfazed.
Awesome questions...
"I actually like your writing style idk why the previous commenter seems so butthurt."
LOL. He just didn't get his question answered yet... Hopefully I can do that, over time.
"Anyways, I do agree with the previous commenter in that we could use some more practical examples. The gist of your post is that women use emotions to relate to and associate with the world, and they're not necessarily logical associations. So how does the leader of a relationship use this to his advantage to remain calm during her schizophrenic episodes(drama)? I have a temper problem, especially when I'm invested in a relationship, and I have to deal with a woman saying or doing brazen things designed to get an emotional response....out of the ordinary dramatic things that Are childish. stupid. It's easy to write down: stay calm and withdraw emotional attention or walk away!! But in practice it's hard especially when the feeling is "I need to get revenge on this bitch." So How to remain calm during a woman's brazen drama when it seems like she's acting like a child and she's deliberately trying to hurt you??? And also what's the chick logic behind that (deliberately trying to ruin my emotional state?) why do some women do this especially when it's not done to them??? "
This is a very deep question and goes to the heart of the book. Did you read the previous articles I wrote on the topic of Female Psychology?
What you describe is not easy. I have had similar situations in my life and I know exactly what you mean! I also agree that there is only so much we can do "intellectually", because when we are under stress and in the moment, we just react. So, a little more intellectual thought on this and then some practical tips from my own life:
What we need to realize is that this is her limbic and pre-cortex systems interacting with ours; that is, the reptilian brain which is connected to survival and replication, and the animal (pre-human) brain that is connected to things like sentimentality, loyalty, sadness and joy.
Mother nature or biology or whatever you want to call it, does not give a shit about our emotions. It "cares" about the survival of the species and that we reproduce.
In spite of Disney and family sitcoms, the vast majority of the 7 billion of us walking around did not come about through logical planning, a discussion of family finances, and a civil, mutual agreement to make a baby. Simply put, we're hear because our dads ejaculated into our moms. Gross, I know, but bear with me...
Have you ever felt angry with your woman but still sexually attracted to her? Did you ever feel jealous but still hoping and wanting to bang her? Of course you did. This is the phenomena of Social Proof at work, and also the theories in the book Sperm Wars make a lot of sense when you think about it in this context.
Fundamentally, if a woman is in love with you, her primary motivation is:
1. To have you invest mental, physical and emotional energy into her. In the wild, this ensures her and her babies' protection from predators. NOTE: you do not have to "like" a woman in order to be in a state of investing into her or trying to "protect" her! In fact, all male attempts to "talk things out" in the relationship are EXACTLY what a female wants.
For emphasis, it has nothing to do with making you feel good or at peace, it has to do with where you put your time and energy! If it's towards her, then her biology has "won".
2. To get you to put your sperm into her. The book Sperm Wars is incredibly controversial because it flies in the face of all conventional wisdom. Essentially it says that if your woman cheats on you, or hints that she could or she might, your sperm count is going to rise. You'll probably be angry, furious, and seeking revenge of some kind... but your sperm count will rise and your urge to ejaculate will spike.
Seen in this context, can you now understand WHY she would seek to "piss you off"? But she is doing it unconsciously...
David Deida says, "we always attract our reciprocal". What this means is, her strategy of pissing you off and making you dream up ways to "retaliate", is EXACTLY unfolding the way things should, in biological terms.
In other words, as long as you react the way that you do, you will continue to attract females who cause that reaction within you, and even worse, they will *keep on doing what works* from a biological perspective.
"It's true that in my experience some women didn't show much if empathy for most of my major life problems (career-wise or even issues with society). I've even been told by one woman flat out that she doesn't have empathy. And she seemed proud of this. What's the chick logic behind the no empathy phenomenon? (Since some other women seem to care)? Why do women enter into relationships with a man If they don't have much empathy for his problems and their behavior comes off as extremely self-obsessed? What to do about a low empathy woman?"
I grew up with a lot of "mommy issues" and "daddy issues". If you were born any time since about 1960, you probably do too.
My mom could be incredibly kind and tender, but whenever I got into financial or romantic difficulty, she had NO EMPATHY. That's usually ok for an adult, but it is very damaging when a small child gets that reaction.
For me anyway, it was a desire to get that empathy that constantly led me to get into LTR with women who were exactly like the woman you described.
In ancient times they took boys away from their mothers at the age of 11 or 13 and the boys had to go through a very painful experience – knowing you can survive, thrive and be useful to your tribe of men AND women, without having female empathy to count on. Keep reading ...
"One suggestion is to be non-needy. Two questions on this: How best to be non-needy in relationships? and if you're 100% non-needy, not sharing issues that greatly affect you emotionally, then what's the point of being in a relationship? Other than conversation and sex?"
Again, this is a cultural phenomenon. "Relationships" is a very complex subject, and it's not binary (i.e. off or on) like our modern culture would have you believe.
Relationships are psychological means for obtaining the neurotransmitter chemicals we all crave, such as dopamine, oxytocin, even cortisol (women who love drama, for example).
Simply put, you can get those chemicals from a VARIETY of different relationships. For example, you could sleep with a variety of women. In ancient times, from the male perspective, polygamy was an attempt for the man to have a variety of women who each excelled in one particular aspect of life that the man craved.
Hugging your bros, or your children, WILL give you oxytocin. In my experience, too much oxytocin with your romantic partners is counterproductive to your desire for lots of sex, but you can and should get your oxytocin from elsewhere.
So without writing a novel, remember what I said earlier: a woman should never be your primary source of ANYTHING, except sex, if you're in a monogamous relationship, and in that case, you should still be able to masturbate and to get your dopamine rushes from things like sports and entrepreneurship, even public speaking....
To reiterate, Relationships = neurotransmitter chemicals in the blood stream. Find out which relationships fulfill which needs the best. In my experience, other men, or women you only like platonically, are the best sources for your desire to feel EMPATHY.
"I think our society is taking independence a little too far. Why enter into a relationship if you're willing to walk away on the drop of a dime as soon as the other person does something that annoys you instead of working to solve issues as they crop up? To me that's no relationship that's s product that you use until it is no longer useful or something better comes along. A while ago I had a woman like that, always threatening to break up like she was trying to control me, and then when I'd ignore her for days then she'd enter into a jealous rage accusing me of having other women...even though she's the one who initiated the breakup!!!! Wtf is going on with some of these women???? "
Well, take a few steps back and contemplate the types of women you're attracting into your life and the reasons why. Whether or not she's "crazy" or "a bitch" isn't too relevant... 3.5 billion females on the planet, probably tens of thousands if not millions in the city where you live... you can certainly find many women in every single category you could fathom. Your job as a hunter is to seek and capture that which you are looking for. Don't get angry at the deer you've hunted when you discover it is diseased – you just keep hunting, and learn from each experience.
"To me it feels weird to learn that not only should I not be sharing issues that affect me deeply (and could make me seem weaker than the image a woman has in her mind of what a man should be...why should I care about image in a relationship??) It's almost sounding to me like you're saying provide women with a listening ear, get them feeling much more invested in me by sharing their true selves with me, while I don't share as much and I solve my own problems on my own and give off the appearance true or not of being this in control guy who handles everything with ease and poise, and be ready to walk away at the drop of a dime. "
Yes, however with maturity and being more selective about the women you allow into your life, you won't NEED to walk away at the drop of a dime.
"My mental model of relationships seems to conflict with this approach. Maybe that's why I fail with Western women. It almost seems like in the Western sphere, he/she who cares the least about the relationship has the most power. And everybody is power hungry. But if you don't care about the relationship then why are you in it in the first place...why invest any energy at all in someone who cares about the relationship less than you do? It doesn't make sense.....
So as you can see I'm confused. I hope you take some time to address these questions because I'm out of ideas with Westerm women eSpecially those from big cities. They're the most aloof of the species it's almost like living among millions of people cause (or correlates) with low empathy and emotional distance. And the more I mess with these kinds of women, particularly the advanced ones, the more I get killed because I get frustrated too easily. I need to level up and be calmer when others attack my ego. But I don't know how yet. "
Regrettably, they are raised this way. The physical and spiritual absence of fathers has done great damage to both women and men. So has our culture. However, there are tens of thousands of immigrant women, and even American women, who DO have a healthy relationship with their fathers.
Quick advice: before getting into a serious relationship with any woman, you want to see her interact with her dad. See a lot of eye rolling and shit testing? Or do her eyes open wide with admiration when he speaks, even on trivial topics? As your relationship with her deepens, you can bet dollars to donuts she's going to treat you in exactly the same way.
Even if you find a beautiful, respectful woman, keep in mind that it's your job to be a person of strength that she can lean on. Both metaphorically and literally, a strong chest and arms she can relax into. Not a little boy who is still angry his mom didn't give him the empathy that a mother should do, but didn't. In a future article I'll talk about how to replace mom and dad, in the case where either or both were lacking in our lives. That was certainly the case in my life...
Thanks Bro
Deep. You're right about being a better hunter. Kinda silly to complain when you put it that way huh? and as painful as it is to admit I guess I still have some emotional growing up to do. I feel like there is so much to learn to be a strong healthy functioning masculine entity, and almost everything cultural wise lends itself to me seeking to have someone take care of me....instead of me being the leader of the tribe.
It feels like the beliefs and behavioral positive reinforcement (while I develop new habits) that I need just aren't embedded in the society, so I can't do "monkey see monkey do." I have to make this shit up as I go, I feel like a lone wolf, and most people don't think about much less discuss this kinda stuff. Guess the way thru it is to take massive action but I just need a better model of "what to aspire to be when with women, particularly when they're being dramatic." Calmly dealing with drama, or walking away when I need to, or stop seeking out empathy in women are 3 sticking points.
Anyways I just needed to vent...thanks for listening. I look fwd to seeing more from you. I need to level up in this arena, seems like I have an unconscious entitlement mentality in what to expect from women and when I don't get it from the women I'm most attracted to, I get frustrated...
Great questions and responses
Initially I too found it hard to take in all the information from the article and had to read it a couple of times. But After reading your responses to all the questions it really put everything in context.
Really great responses and I learnt a lot. It got me thinking and I have a handful of questions myself now! which I'll get onto once I have some free time. Cheers!
Interesting
Very interesting. Im a guy ISTP so basically im a very logically, practically, and technically-dominant thinker by nature. Learning about how people "think" emotionally is interesting and switching between logical to emotional thinking when I socialize has been something i have been working on. When you think how women are emotionally driven, their "logic" starts to make sense. It especially came full circle for me when i started getting into singing and show business more, and realizing how emotion and passion really sell.
The meta emotions thing is so true! My ex girlfriend would write blog posts with meta-emotiony sort of subjects, and I would just think "wtf is she talking about." This also makes sense why song lyrics resonate so strongly with women too.
Thought provoking stuff.
Really great article!
Really great article!
"It's counterintuitive, but once a woman starts reasoning more emotionally and less logically, she becomes more susceptible to a wide range of emotions, including sexual ones. "
If the converse is true, then if I want to delay my 10 year old daughter's sexual experimentation then I should sign her up for Kumon!
Leave a Comment