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It's the holiday season, and that means one thing: time
to pick up girls out shopping!
If you don't have much experience picking up women who are out shopping for shoes or shellfish, you might think this is rather hard... I mean, walking up to some girl in the middle of a well-lit store and just... hitting on her? Isn't that obvious?
Actually, there are a number of more-or-less smooth ways of going about running pickups in shopping areas, whether malls or shops or grocery stores. A bit of a sense of humor and a good handle on indirect game helps; while you can use direct openers out shopping, they often come off a bit too strong.
Mostly, what you'll be focused on creating in a shopping environment is a feeling of fate, fortune, or destiny... you and the girl met because you simply had to meet. It was written in the stars.
Today, we'll talk about how you go about creating that feeling, and help you bring some holiday cheer into the lives of some beautiful, lonely women out in the wide world.
Comments
Hmm...the it-just-happened
Hmm...the it-just-happened scenario seems like it would take some practice.
Thanks for the insights. Daygame in grocery stores always boggled me as well as clothing stores.
All the cute girls are in WOMEN'S clothing stores and I knew they'd find it weird if I was walking around in there. The usual indirect direct I use is- "I've come to steal your purse"
And they start laughing and respond with- "you're telling me first?"
Again great article. Thanks man
Wes
Women's Clothing Stores
Hi Wes,
The purse-snatching line is funny. I imagine you're following it up with a statement of interest to round it out; you're solid then.
You don't need to worry too much about what they think of why you're in the women's clothing store at that point; they like you, you've been upfront about why you're talking to them... and if they're really dying to know why you're in a women's clothing store, they'll ask ("I came in here to get a gift for my sister, but... here, maybe you can help me out. Let me show you these sweaters I was looking at").
Cheers,
Chase
Hey Chase thanks for the
Hey Chase thanks for the reply.
Yes I do follow up with my opener with: I'm kidding, I just thought you were pretty and I had to meet you...etc.
If its not too much to ask, I have a question about the foreign girl I met last week. I ran into her in my neighborhood again today and I made many mistakes. I can tell. First off I came off like I was chasing her by running to her when I saw her...ugh big mistake. She told me using a translator app that she wanted to just be friends and she has a boyfriend. I don't know...she could be lying. Then I somehow number closed and got her to agree to teach me Spanish sometime.
My question is is the door still open for her or am I officially friend zoned?
My first interaction with her, I never got to the deep diving because of language barriers.
And I still know nothing about her...so I can imagine that it's very weird for her.
What do you suggest I do?
Hi Chase Great article yet
Hi Chase
Great article yet again. Just a quick question about something that I usually wonder about whenever I read articles like these.
The flow of the pickup usually goes from the approach or opener to the move or deep diving.
Currently, I have no anxiety whatsoever with approaches anymore and typically get a positive response for almost all my openers. However, I am personally having issues with that period BETWEEN the opener and the move or deep diving. In other words I kinda fizzle out before I get to the move.
So my question is what sort of strategy do you use for that period straight after you've opened? Is it simple chit chat and small talk like "so what are you up to?" type of banter? Or is there something more "scientific" or technique-oriented that you use that I just haven't seen on the site / forums?
For example (great opener btw):
1) "Do you think these come in my size? [holding up women's shoes / panties / earrings, etc.] ... I'm just kidding, I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. I'm Hector. "
2) [INSERT SOME CONVERSATION HERE?? ]
3) [TRANSITION TO THE MOVE / TEL NO / DEEP DIVING]
The part I'm asking about is point 2. Is that just general chit chat or whatever comes to your mind at that point? Or do you immediately start moving the conversation toward the move after the opener? To me it seems like you would need to make small talk a bit before suggesting the move. And if that is true, is that normal small talk or are their specific things I am not aware of?
Any tips would be appreciated. Hope the question is clear enough.
Cheers!
Hook Point
Hey Brock,
That in-between part you're talking about is reaching the "hook point" with a girl, where she's essentially hooked onto talking with you and is now open to the conversation and contributing freely. It's a stumbling block for lots of guys when they're starting out. Troubled me for my first few years of cold approach, too... it seemed so random and outside of one's control.
This article will help give you some grounding on it:
Book Excerpts: Reaching the Hook Point with Girls
... and this one gives you an example conversation, from open to mid-conversation:
Conversation Example
Basically, women hook when they're interested in you, which means upping your fundamentals / base-level attractiveness to women gives you a much easier time of this.
Getting her investing and complying right off the bat helps this tremendously (it displays leadership, which is very attractive to women, and thus ups her interest in continuing a conversation with you / finding out all about you), as does asking the right questions to launch things into a good conversation.
Some quick initial compliance might be asking her to show you what she's looking at while shopping ("Well, try those gloves on, let me see") or having her give you her hand when you first introduce yourself, then holding onto it for an extended period of time after you trade names (while you continue speaking with her).
There's no "quick fix" for the hook, but upping your attractiveness (passive) and getting more initial investment (active) and asking more interesting / relevant questions (active), as well as using some well-placed banter (active) all up your odds.
But, even when you've made yourself into an Adonis who gets women throwing investment at him while peeling their conversational layers back like onions and simultaneously ripping some perfectly timed and placed witty lines, you'll still have some women not hook. It's never 100% - but you can always try and get it closer.
Best,
Chase
Transitioning from opener to conversation
Hi Brock,
I think a lot of guys struggle at this point because they think that the next step needs to be as "witty" or "clever" as the opener was, but really your goal after the opener is to get her talking.
An easy way to do this (with a smile, confident voice, and great eye contact of course) is to just simply ask her a reasonable question! Example:
The idea is to start getting her to talk about herself so that she can open up paths of conversation. When a woman is excited to be talking to you, you will notice that she will actually try to help continue the conversation. So just make sure you ask questions that can give her topics to talk about! ;)
Hope that helps!
- Franco
Voice Fundamentals
Hey Chase
I have to congratulate you on another article well done and how are you doing? Hope everything is well. Also, what has Ricardus been up to lately? I have not seen an article from him in a long time and his stuff is great too.
Anyway, I feel that I have gotten most of the fundamentals down by habit. Everything except voice, and I have to say it is the most challenging part for me. On your blog post on "how to get a sexy voice", you say that some men have a purr in their voice that make women swoon.
You listed George Clooney as one who has that. My ears must be imperceptible to it because I have no clue what that part of his voice is and what he would sound like without it. So then I tried what you said in the description on slowing down your speaking first and adding like a purr or rumble to it after the last word. I ended up pinching and closing up my throat for a while. Have you had that problem before, if so, how did you overcome it? That sexy purr things sounds like an awesome thing to add to the repertoire.
One last question, you also mention that a sexy voice is also deep and resonant. I read up online that diaphragmatic breathing helps with that and that is now a habit for me. It lowered the pitch in my voice but I feel that my voice is still flat(not resonant). Are there any voice exercises that you have done to give yourself a more resonant voice and if so which ones?
Thanks again,
Nick
Re: Voice Fundamentals
Hi Nick,
Glad you liked the article! Ricardus is knuckled down working crazy hours right now to get a product launch off in the foreign-language market. He may be back after that, or he may not be, depending on how explosive the launch is and how much of his time it's going to take up - we won't make an announcement until we know for sure. Should know by the end of December.
On voice, sounds like you depressed your hyoid when you attempted that guttural "purr" before. You can free your throat up from that condition by imagining the back of your tongue rolling up and off your hyoid bone in your throat, and opening things up back there. Purr should come from the top of your throat, not underneath, so if you're depressing your hyoid when you try you're attacking it from the wrong part of your throat.
For resonance, you have to speak from the bottom of your chest / lungs. Diaphragmatic breathing is related to that, since it gets you taking deeper breaths and concentrates more of your energy in your abdomen. But you've actually got to roll your voice up from down there to achieve resonance. Try imagining your voice summoning up from the bottom of your chest as if it was a big barrel and you're having it climb all the way up and out from down there.
If you try these and you're still struggling, you might also consider taking a speaking class with a voice coach and telling him / her specifically what you're working on. For me, when I was working on voice, I had a few things I just couldn't quite get, so I signed up for one $40 session with a coach and she fixed all my problems in that single session. It made a huge difference to my voice, and I ended up thinking I should've done it a lot sooner.
Cheers,
Chase
Getting girls back
Hey Chase, after reading your articles I have been having a great deal of success. The problem I have been having lately is getting girls back to my place without sounding sleazy. Any advice on this would be great.
Sounding Sleazy?
Hey Ryan,
For this one, you're just going to have to do it enough times that it becomes natural. My gut is that it's sound the most sleazy to YOU, probably because you've got a mental picture in your head of men inviting women back to their places as something sleazy and/or you think that this will be women's reactions to this (it almost never is, though) - or you're not using the right excuse to pull for your own style / preferences or the feel of the interactions you end up in with women.
You might also try imagining that you're inviting women back for a candlelit, romantic evening, or however helps you to think of it differently. Women want to go home with men as much as men want them to go home with them; find an angle that works for you (romantic, exciting, etc.) and tailor your invitations and pulls that way, rather than the way you have that's been feeling "sleazy" to you.
Cheers,
Chase
Thanks Chase
First off thanks for replying, this site has been a huge help to me. I'm a student a Penn State, so I guess get the whole sleazy image thing is from the frat kids, and how they treat women. My question is now is it best to use an excuse to get girls back or to just be direct and say "Lets go to my place"?
Ryan, Logistics & Intrigue
Ryan,
Logistics & Intrigue are the keys.
Make her interested in coming to your house because she is interested in you, and natural that she would be at your house due to the logistics of the date (cooking together for example).
Some things I use -
There is a football field less than a quarter-mile from my house that is used for our Rec leagues. Makes a great place for my dog and her dog to 'play around and get to know one another'. Whatever that means. I just let the dogs run around and take her to the bleachers. And then the dogs obviously need water after playing. Water from...the house.
Books work great. If you are into intelligent women (as I am), and have established attraction, there aren't many of them who can refuse an invitation to come over to have a glass a wine and read one of Plato's dialogues together. I mean, really. It works. Go get the edition from B&N that has all of his letters and dialogues in one book - it was $50 a couple of years ago. If you are interested I could give you a really easy 10 minute template for this - it is golden. The best part is that you keep the book at...the house.
Also, do not discount Chase's advice - have women pick you up for dates. She then will ultimately end the night at...the house. Your only job is to make sure its on good terms. (Or - my preferred method - if you are going out at 9, you tell her you will be busy until then and need her to meet you at your house. You ultimately drive to the date and back to your house, but its a reasonable way to get the same.logistics).
And another one I use when I meet a girl during the day and try to transition from pick up to date is the excuse I need to let my dog out of...the house. "Oh yeah let's definitely go the museum! But FIRST let's run by my house to let my dog out.". You dont even have to go on the date after if you dont want to. Logistics are everything.
Basically, I use my dog to set up basic logistics, or my schedule to set up basic logistics which makes her end up at my house in a non sleazy way. Or I use the Plato & Wine invitation as an intriguing, but seemingly casual, possibility for her to pursue.
Both non-sleazy and easy. Hope it helps.
J
Thanks Jake
Thanks for the response, great advice. Now Im going to have to work on my logistics wrinkles. Again, appreciate the help.
Thank you for sharing
Hi, Chase
This post just solved one of the issues that I have for a long time. My favorite place to pick up woman is at bookstores, but I didn't know it's better to move them first before diving into deep conversations. No wonder not many things happened to me, instead, almost most of my conversations went awkward.
Your stuff is very unique and makes sense, Chase. I don't think if I can find them elsewhere. I also don't know how you came across finding them and breaking them down into pieces for us, but thank you so much for your generosity, it does make our lives much easier. I'm pretty new to this blog, by the way, so I wonder if this site is free or not.
If you don't mind, Chase, I'd like ask you some pick-up tactics for one more venue. My colleagues and I have been trying to figure this out for a long time. This post is about shopping for girls before Christmas at those shops when browsing around, what about coffee shops. I work in downtown NYC, a lot of us get stuck here for work during Christmas break. I see a lot of beautiful women at the coffee shops down the buildings everyday, they don't seem very happy for not being able to go home, I guess. I tried a few times trying to seat around them then try striking a conversation, but they didn't go very well.
So, I figure maybe you could give us some insights and advice in this case.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read this.
Have a nice holiday to you and other readers. :-)
Seifer
Coffee Shops
Hey Seifer,
Great to hear it on the bookstores. I studied pickup for a long time, and also spent quite a while breaking down my own interactions with an eye to why things were awkward or didn't work. I was very guilty of getting into long awkward conversations with women in bookstores for a while without moving them, until I figured out why they were awkward and why they usually didn't work.
Coffee shops when you're seated can be hard - there's always a bit of luck involved when meeting new women, so hard to know for sure if you'll be seated next to a girl who's responsive to you or one who isn't.
One tactic you can try is finding a seat near a girl who looks good to you, placing a coat or other item on the seat and asking her if she wouldn't mind watching it while you ordered, and then thanking her when you get back, focusing on your own things, and starting a new conversation a few minutes later. At this point it feels much more natural (and much less awkward), as you feel more like someone she already knows and has talked to (you've already broken the ice) than some new guy who's opening her.
Anyway, try that one out in a few coffee shops and see how it suits you.
Cheers,
Chase
Conversing with women
Hey Chase, another rocking article.
Question for you man, I have been having problems on the conversational aspect of the game lately. When you talk about deep diving and all, is it all about asking girls qestions about themselves? I can't seem to truly crack this nut. Some of the girls I have talked to lately, we usually just end up in strange silences at some point in the conversation. What kind of easy probing questions will you suggest to carry on these conversations?
Thanks Chase, love every single lessons on here.
Deep Diving
Howdy Maxz,
Check out this article for a handful of strong questions to ask:
What Does She Want? The 8 Things You Must Ask Her
... and this one for an example conversation:
Conversation Example
Think of each topic (job, where she lives, dreams, goals, travel, etc.) as something you can really rip into and target the motivation and reasoning behind it. For everything, you can ask:
Share and relate where you can (use active listening) to show you're on the same page, and don't be just firing questions at her - use cold reading as well where appropriate, and make some things questions so it isn't a complete "interview."
Then, keep it light with some humor, chase frams, etc., so that it doesn't get too heavy and awkward (see "Spell Broken: Big Mistakes That Shred Conversation" for more on that).
Approach your deep diving that way, and you'll avoid those awkward moments and keep the good conversation flowing.
Best,
Chase
Great article chase Ive
Great article chase Ive always thought to use my environment for picking up women in stores that seems to work glad to see you agree so I know it's good game. I read your comment reply to the sleazy feeling of trying to get a girl home. I never thought girls actually wanted to do it more than not, I thought that they'd get a "he's trying to sleep with me way to quick and that's all he wants". Please tell me why they wouldn't mind the idea of coming to your home. I also want to know two things if your first date with a girl is at your pad should you still aim to kiss her and make a move even if you didn't deep dive or anything? And how do you defuse strong objections like, I have to go to school or work early, or I have to do h.w.. What's a good thing to say to make her come over, so she won't say I'll be too tired or whatever? Thanks!
Why Girls Would Want to Come Home with You
Howdy Vaughn,
You asked, "Please tell me why they wouldn't mind the idea of coming to your home."
Plainly and simply, if she likes you and she's attracted to you, she will be EXCITED about coming to your home.
Women only mind coming home with you if it goes against their objectives for the relationship they have with you - for instance, if the objective is to keep you as "just friends," then they will mind very much - they don't want you getting the wrong idea, or trying anything that could end the "friends" relationship. If their objective is to have you as a boyfriend, going home with you too soon risks giving you the wrong idea and making you not value them as "relationship material," so girls who see you as a boyfriend candidate will mind going home to a point (though they'll mind NOT being invited home AFTER a certain point, if they're expecting you to sleep with them).
If your first date is at your place, the rule to kiss her within 10 minutes can go out the window, unless your read is that she's arrived already ready to go (as does happen sometimes on first dates at your place). If she's already ready when she arrives and you don't move fast, you'll end up losing her.
Objections: see this article:
Secrets to Getting Girls: Addressing Women's Objections
For more on specific technique, Jake's got some great elaboration on some of his techniques as well about halfway down the comment thread in the comment titled "Ryan, Logistics & Intrigue."
Cheers,
Chase
"Sports Games" game
Hey Chase,
This article definitely helped improve casual, everyday place game, but whenever I go to a ball game (Football, Basketball, etc) I end up running into multiple and often large packs of people who usually aren't up for getting to know you.
I usually stick with my own crowd of people, but there are very few cute women that they know and introduce me too. Even worse is when I end up going alone and resolve to simply wondering around (makes me thing i'm giving off i needy, searching feel) and trying to meet new people but making no success. I want to see how you would go about approaching people (women in particular) and instantly getting accepted and then proceed to talk to the cute girl you came to get initially.
*note: this also goes to women who are by themselves and in small groups of 2 or 3. It's really not the approach, i'm mostly relaxed and have good fundamentals, stating my interest through mostly indirect direct. What i think my problem is being intimidating. I've gotten responses saying why i'm looking at a girl a certain way accompanied by a quizzical look and/or a laugh (while using strong, sexy eye contact with a sly smile), also need help with girls who persist on you doing something for them (you move them, get them to do something, but then they turn it back on you and really want you to do something for them) and no matter how I try to deflect it, saying i'll "do it later" or "if you behave" usually with a sexy smile and good eye contact, girls seem to always want something in return other then flirting and deep diving.
Also touching isn't really a strong factor yet, mostly gentle clasps on the shoulder. Sorry, i know that's a lot to ask for but an article or any advice would be much appreciated.
Thanks Chase, you've done a lot!
With best intentions,
Luke
Sports, Groups, Compliance
Howdy Luke,
The sports games is a tough one. There are some environments that really aren't conducive to meeting new girls... think of church in the middle of a ceremony, or a movie theater in the middle of a movie. There may be a number of pretty girls there, but environmental factors make them difficult to meet.
The larger and more emotional a pack someone is in, the less he or she behaves as an individuals and the more he or she behaves as a member of the pack. Packs are insular, territorial, and focused. Bear in mind that you may infiltrate a sports group, but as soon as the hyperemotional males in that group notice that you're not busy rooting for the team but are instead trying to peel off one of their women, you've got some problems on your hands. The women themselves may also be too consumed by the sport and emotion to pay much heed to a guy trying to meet them.
If it's not as emotional (e.g., a game that isn't big deal; a sport that isn't that popular at your school; the group she's with is smaller), you might be able to get somewhere, but it'll likely be a challenge.
I have an article up on groups here - probably worth a look:
5 Essential Insights on How to Meet Girls in Groups
On women asking for favors, that's essentially them picking up on uncertainty and attacking it. See this one for more on that:
When Women Test Men
Sounds like you're already trying a lot of that and still getting tested. If it happens enough, you have to actually stop and call a girl out on it, e.g. "Look, are we having a conversation here or are you acting like a six year old pulling on my pant leg asking for a cookie. Because it feels like the latter one," and/or start giving her instructions: "Did you arms stop working? You can reach that yourself, it's right over there," and continue on with the conversation as if nothing happened.
Realize though that this is usually a reaction to your actions - you might be too obvious in how you're asking for compliance, and women are realizing it's a conscious move on your part and are returning the favor.
Best,
Chase
Retail Cashiers
Chase,
This article is the exact antidote for the problems I have been running into the last two weekends while shopping for a shopping girl. The article was well written and straight to the point. Well done!
I still have two problems though when it comes to meeting girls in the mall. First, the retail clerks/cashiers in the shopping mall stores. When they show strong interest in me how should I approach them if they have a long line and I am not buying anything? I also want to be considerate of her social pressure (co-workers/boss) that is present. Plus I don’t want to be wandering around the store for too long looking like a weirdo. Should I come back later in the day or on another day and see if she’s not busy? Or should I stand in line with something I’m only pretending to buy then talk to her when I get up to her and not buy the item? What is your suggestion?
The second problem is I keep missing out on girls that are out of my immediate range when in the mall. They are just within my sight but going in the opposite direction or a direction that I would have to make a major conspicuous move to cross her path. Do you have any solutions to help me approach these girls? Because I am kind of concerned about auto rejection from a false serendipity and I don’t want to be labeled as a stalker.
Thanks for your time & contributions,
Will
Cashiers & Girls Out of Range
Howdy Will,
Cashiers are a tough one. You don't want to do anything that's going to make them feel trapped or watched, which means getting into a long conversation isn't much good, and doing almost anything with a line behind you isn't good. Your best bet is to go when it's quiet, and buy something small, and try to get her to be the one engaging you. If she seems like she's interested, you can ask her how her day's going, and then let the conversation die out. See if she reengages you. If she does, you can ask her, "How do you like this job?" let her reply, then ask her, "Cool, well I know it's spur of the moment, and we only just met, but I'm never going to get to know you here standing behind a counter. I'm about to go grab some ice cream / a cookie at the Cookie Factory / etc... how about you clock out for 15 minutes and come join me? My treat."
Usually I advise not paying for things for women, but in this case you need to offer some kind of value, and since you're not connecting with her first and you're just trying to get her out of there so you can get to know her, buying her an ice cream isn't going to break the bank and it's a nice little thing you can toss in to up your conversion. If she says no, no big deal... you can always go back and buy a pack of gum and flirt with her later and ask her out again. Your frame has to be that you want to get to know her and that's why you're asking her to join you - essentially, you aren't sure if you want to go out with her, but she's cute and you might, and you're never going to find out with her manning the cashier and you on the other side of the checkout counter.
On out of range... on the street you can actually run after girls a little bit and it's fine. You can do this in the mall too, but depending on the floor and your shoes sometimes girls will hear the clacking and get startled to hear someone running up to them. You might try calling out, "Excuse me!" as you near them so it isn't some unknown stranger about to attack them but rather someone trying to communicate with them. In any event, when you have to chase a girl down from behind, you always want to circle around her side first before engaging her so as not to freak her out (nobody likes getting opened from the back!).
Cheers,
Chase
Best Times for Getting Results
Chase,
Good article, as always.
I apologize for asking about something you may have already addressed, but in your experience, what are the best times to hit up each of these venues? If you were to do cold approaches at a mall, for example, would you be more successful during lunching hours, or closer to closing time?
Thanks in advance.
Times for Hitting Different Venues
Hey Anon,
Depends a lot on the demographics in the area and the demographics you're targeting.
For instance, if you go to a shopping mall during the day on a weekday in an area where most of the women are working women, it'll be pretty dead. However, the women you'll meet there will be interesting cases - some rich girls, some college girls, some girls who don't work, etc.
Most malls are busiest weekends, and are busier weeknights than weekdays. Grocery stores (Trader Joe's is a good one for a surprisingly high proportion of attractive young women) are better weeknights. Pretty girls don't go food shopping on the weekend, they use their weeknights for that... mostly families in the grocery stores on weekends (although you will find a few stragglers here and there).
Cheers,
Chase
Openers in supermarket checkout line
Does anyone have any ideas for openers in the self check-out of the supermarket? It can be an awkward place to strike up a conversation because the girl's attention is focused on scanning items. I could theoretically wait until she's done, but that'd be a bit creepy.
I often encounter cute girls here and want to talk to them.
A Great Preselection Addition
I would add one thing.
Get to know and a beautiful employee, but NEVER ask her out, over the course of a few visits to the store.
Subsequently, when you enter the store, shop around until you see some attractive women around the employee. Go near the employee with a pretense of looking at some items. Glance around and notice her "by accident": "Oh hi!". Chat it up a bit, discretely noticing which women are in the area.
Pick up one of the noticing women.
Downside: if you are too charming and leave too much of a mark with the employee, other female employees will know you were in, and keep track of when you are coming in (this happened to me). So be very discrete when picking up on the other women - the employees may be watching you. And don't work too hard with the preselection employee.
Beyond Excellent Article
You really nailed down all the nuances. Appreciate it.
"Some women will never even say anything about this, or even ask you where you're going"
Haha, gotta love women.
Experiences as a cashier.
Hi,
A couple of things to bear in mind before
I write this piece.
One. I'm married
Two. I work in a well known major store
aa a cashier.
Three. I'm English and have been in the USA
since 2011. I lived in the UK for 50 years.
Before moving to the USA I never thought
I'd be a cashier for a start so it's all fairly new
to me, that said I've had plenty of time to
watch what goes on in the store and how
people behave towards each other and myself
at the checkout counter and around the store.
Being a cashier opens all kinds of avenues
to approaching people, especially women.
I'm very outward and see it mainly as a huge comedy
which really amuses a lot of the women I deal
with. One woman, she was really pretty bought here
shopping to my counter. You always smile and welcome
a customer as part of protocol. This customer
had some bottles of wine so I started joking about it.
"Ah yes old faithful I see" she replied " Do you drink?" I
Told I didn't and wasn't going to start" she said " I shouldn't
really to be honest, but you need something sometimes"
I said" long as it leaves you comatose it doesn't matter what
it tastes like does it!" She started laughing at that. Another
thing you do have access to and should never abuse is ID when
checking legal ages for cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. A great way
to connect is to say something like" you look even better in the
flesh than this photo" . If you are that way inclined you can't help
seeing the name on the ID you can say" your name suits you by
the way" There's a ton of opportunities as a cashier. The good thing
is as long as you remain professional no customer is offended by
these comments, in fact they feel flattered. It puts you in a perfect
position for general conversation and you don't seem obtrusive at all,
as long as you remember these are customers at all times.
Being English gives me an edge because I'm not bound by US behavior.
It's an amazing position to be in to connect with every kind of female as
long as you don't abuse the position of trust you are given.
General conversation is easy to develope and deeper conversation
as well, if you're subtle. One woman yesterday came in. I've always thought she
has the most cute smile so I told her she has a beautiful smile, she pep lied that
She thought the same about me as I'm always smiling. I thanked her, bowed
politely and told her how flattered I was by her comment. It would have been easy
to go a bit further, but I'm married and protocol does not allow me to.
College girls are the worst though. They buy a load of drink which I always make
a joke of , they end up sniggering and acting up. One girl made a point of saying
as she left " I'll see you again soon Stephen" in a very suggestive way and looking at me
provocatively, to which I replied " I'm sure will young lady at a later date" She had that grin only
women have when they think they are going to get up to no good. I take it in my stride and joke
about, but other guys could easily see it otherwise.
You get a lot of professional women in the store as well, usually nurses, bank workers etc. These women love to joke about and join in laughing and fooling about.
You have to drop the macho ego front and show you can be vulnerable
not afraid to be a goofball, by doing that women feel at ease and really open up to you.
It becomes like your own little space by the till having fun. You have the advantage you can
Allow yourself to be approachable, but always being professional as a cashier. I have loads to
say about this from experience.
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