GIRLS CHASE MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION
• Unlimited access to GirlsChase.com
Note
from Chase: Colt is one of our writers who contributed to the
site a while back, with the 'Student of the Game' series and the
'Social Skills 101' series. Colt's roughly intermediate in his skills
with women - he's still learning, but he's having success and taking
new and pretty girls to bed - and he's focused on helping guys who are
new to working on themselves and their dating skill sets to get in
gear. Now returned from adventures in Thailand and the wilds of central
Africa, we welcome him back to pick up where he left off with 'Social
Skills 101'.
We live in a world designed for extroverts. It is designed for people who love parties, large social gatherings, and constant social stimulation. Today’s post is designed for the underrepresented men, the men who still want to attract beautiful women, but want to remain true to their selves: this post is for the introverts. So without further ado, here we go: dating for introverts.
What is an introvert?
It’s estimated that around 30% of the American population is introverted. But I would guess that the true number of people who are at least somewhat introverted (say, people who qualify as ambiverts - those who switch back and forth between introvert and extrovert) is actually much higher. But before we go any further, let me first clear something up: being introverted is not the same as being shy.
Shyness means that you are afraid of social interaction because you fear social judgment. If you find yourself in that category, there are plenty of articles on this site that can help you brave the social waters, such as:
- How to Take Your Self-Esteem to the Stratosphere
- Anxiety in Men: Where it Comes From and How to Stop It
- The Pig and the Mirror
- How to be a Sexy Man
- Becoming a Social Success
- The Purpose of Life from a Practical Point of View
However, being an introvert means that you still possess social skills and have the ability to attract women, but you would rather spend your time reading, working out, or otherwise improving yourself.
Comments
Introverted Man
Colt, I must genuinely thank you for your article as, without consciously labeling my game as introverted, it is. Sex hasn't meant a whole lot to me, and even after opening several women, I generally only end up holding onto a few of the girls I meet. I respect what you write, and I greatly look forward to your future articles. That being said though, I have a few friends who introverts as well, and though my game has gotten worlds better, I can't get them over their massive approach anxiety, what worked for me hasn't worked for them. Any advice for the introverted man who has approach anxiety? You've become a huge inspiration for me man. Thank you,
Richard
Fellow Introvert
Hey Colt
A very insipiring article. It feels like you wrote it specifically for me. I never thought about making it a rule to "go out" every day, it seems like a good idea, especially in the holidays where it seems perfectly normal to spend all your days at your home.
I have one question though. What do you do if you are introverted and extremely needy in general?
I have occasional moments in my life where i am in a state of non-needyness and dominant, but most of the time i almost cant shake myself out of being concerned about how i look to strangers, women that i approach and my friends.
Do you have any experience with that?
Regards
Allan from Denmark
Neediness
Allan,
I think everyone goes through periods of neediness at one point or another.
The funny thing about people is that deep down everyone is insecure about something. But, when someone is comfortable with themselves, people really start to take notice and respect that person. So, it's best to remember that you live your life for *you* and not for anyone else.
The only person who is going to be with you every hour of every day is you. So I would suggest investing your mental energy in things that make you happy. In hobbies, in your work -- whatever it is that gets you going. That way, if you're getting your fulfillment from your own activities, you won't need validation from others. People are inspired by others who are passionate about their own lives, so this is an important step to kicking neediness.
Second, one of the best ways to combat neediness is to give value. If you haven't already, read Chase's post on how to make friends: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-make-friends-master-key-new-frien.... If people see you as a person who gives them value, they will actually end up starting to need you instead of the other way around.
Third, it's all about abundance my friend. You can greatly value the friends and women in your life, but as long as you have enough quality people around you to know that you can live without them in the worst case scenario, you won't have any reason to be needy.
Finally, if you're nervous about physical things, read up on some posts about fashion and facial hair. I'm sure that once you get that squared away (assuming you haven't) you'll start to get compliments from people. This will reinforce your decisions, and eventually, you'll stop caring about people's approval because you'll know you look good.
That's it sir! Try to focus on investing yourself!
And I have yet to make a visit to the Scandinavian countries, maybe I'll see you there one day!
All the best,
Colt
Interesting..
Well this is all quite interesting, something i rarely read about.
I got questions though.
First: Find reasons to leave your home.
- As it is good to leave all to often, isn`t it bad to be seen almost everyday wandering from one place to another alone or with just a friend ?
For example i live in a small town and i decided to go out every 2nd day with friends. Since i have a hard time getting girls to go out with me and don`t have a girlfriend, is it good or is it bad to be seen wandering with just your pals ?
Wouldn`t the girls think to themselves: " hey this guy does not have a girl, he must not be attractive at all since he is just with his friends"
What do you think of this ?
Second: Step outside your social circle.
I agree fully, but it is kind of hard to do that from where i come from. Especially with girls ..
Any idea how to overcome this ?
Third: Learn to compartmentalize your social life.
What exactly does this mean ??
I enjoyed reading this article, it makes sense a lot.
I don`t have problems cold approaching, deep diving etc, i just have a problem because the women here are VERY CONSERVATIVE ..
They wouldn`t almost ever sleep with a guy on the first date, apart from the sluts ( sorry for my French ).
Those last words Be Chill, are exactly what it is needed.
I am constantly trying to improve in that area, but i seem to have a lot of pressure for i have been without a girl for a long long time.
If i can just somehow manage the pressure and release myself from it.
Nice article again.
Keep it up.
Regards.
Glad You're Back
Hey Colt,
Glad to see you back on the site! While a lot of the articles on this site have valuable insights on making progress with girls, your series targets directly at social skills used every day, with girls or not. Thanks for that.
David
Introvert dating Extrovert
Colt,
Excellent post man. I certainly fit your description of an introvert.
Sometimes it makes it tough to meet lots of new women, but I've been getting better at it. I keep finding though that it is easier for me to attract more extroverted women. This seems to make it harder for me after we sleep together, ESPECIALLY if its on the first or second date. It seems that right after, she'll want to hangout everyday and stay much more connected. Being a low energy-type person I struggle keeping up. It's very easy for me to sort of slip off the grid if I'm not careful. It almost makes me want to break it off with her, but I don't want her to think it was bad or that I'm personally avoiding her.
Any advise??
Leave a Comment