Conversation

See a hot girl during the day and want to get her number, or even take her home? It can be done! But if you expect to reel her in, you’ll need a quality hook.

Most new guys have a hard time hooking a woman they’ve approached during the day – and it’s no surprise. When you approach women, your veins course with adrenaline. You’re consumed with fear over what people will think about you. You can barely force air through your lungs and move your legs, never mind form consonants and vowels into intelligent conversation.

If you’re in this nervous state, most women won’t hook. They’ll take one look at your stuttering, anxious being and just… keep on walking.

Remember the rule of state transference – whatever you feel, she feels.

That’s why I recommend spending at least a year working on your approach anxiety and hooking. What to actually say should be the last thing you worry about, as it’s the hardest aspect of game to learn and it relies more on experience than study.

Once you get the fundamentals down, hooking becomes natural.

In my day-game model, hooking is simply getting the girl you approached to engage you back. You talk, she listens – she talks, you listen.

One compliment is all it takes to deepen your connection with a girl. If it’s thoughtful and genuinely conveyed, it can really help move things forward.

Here’s a nifty little tool you can use on dates. It’s best used to manage your attainability on a date and show a girl that you genuinely like her. It allows you to accelerate the speed of the date and transition it into something more intimate.

However, the way you use it must be timely and carefully calibrated to the moment.

This is a tool that was taught to me by my friend Franco, Girls Chase board moderator, so all credit goes to him. It revamped the way I went about first dates, and my pull rate increased dramatically. It basically shifts any girl on a date into overdrive the moment you use it, but you must use this tactic at the correct moment to exploit its full potential.

Today, we’re going to talk about dates – specifically, first dates. You’re always going to be setting up your dates correctly using other Girls Chase-taught procedures no matter what stage you’re at in the courtship. You approached her, got her number, and asked her on a date. Now you’re going out together somewhere, so she’s invested in seeing where this is heading.

Do you talk in clear, simple ways? The most effective communicators all do. Use these tips and make your language a breeze to understand.

Early in my teenage years, I began to learn humor. Mostly I watched late night talk shows and crafted one-liners. I tried longer funny jokes too, but they usually fell flat. The lesson I learned - without realizing at the time - was simple one-line quips usually worked best.

Another early humor realization: obscure humor leaves most people confused. For maximum laughs, choose easy-to-understand humor almost anyone can relate to.

After high school I became a tire salesman. At the start, I'd give lengthy sales pitches with all the features a tire had. I'd ask customers questions like "What are you looking for in a tire?" (since most people don't know much about tires, that question usually got blank stares). My boss noticed this and told me to forget about features and focus on the benefits. The customer doesn't care the tire was laser-etched. He does want to know it grips the road when the streets are wet, or provides a smoother, more comfortable ride. So I switched to my boss's clear, concrete examples, and I sold more.

Next my boss told me to ask how the customer's current tires did for him. And he told me to ask if there was anything the customer wished his tires did better. So I did that, and instead of blank stares I'd get direct answers: "It'd be nice if they'd lasted a little longer." Or "I have trouble with them when it rains." Now that I knew what each customer wanted, it became easier to sell, and I sold more still.

When I began to write sales copy, a friend told me to throw my copy into Hemingway Editor. The editor rates a piece's reading grade level: does it read at a first grade level? A fifth grade level? A tenth grade level?

I'd seen Hemingway before and run my writing through it. Sometimes it came back as "Post-Grad." How intellectual of me! I thought at the time. My friend pointed out this actually meant the writing was hard to read. The higher the grade level, the more challenging the read. Even for the well-read, lower reading level writing is easier to process. My friend mentioned he'd whittled sales copy of his for a finance product down from Grade 8 to Grade 4, and his sales doubled. "If I can explain a complicated finance product in fourth grade language, you can do it for anything," he told me. I became a devotee of the app. I didn't just use it for sales copy; I ran all sorts of writing through it, and used it to make all my writing simpler.

Next I reread Stephen King's On Writing. Suddenly all King's talk of removing adverbs, gerunds, and the word 'that', plus using simple words instead of complex ones stood out. I made all those changes to how I wrote and spoke.

Each step of the way, in every new language-based endeavor I took on, I learned the same lessons. Language works best when it is simple and clear.

Knowing what to say to girls ultimately requires knowledge and experience. Use these tools to conquer your fear, and the words will take care of themselves.

In Part 2 of my day-game tour, I covered direct, indirect, and situational openers, body language, and vocal tonality.

The most common complaint I hear from my students is, “I just don’t know what to say to girls.” They’re caught in a paradox. They don’t approach because they don’t know what to say, and they don’t know what to say because they don’t approach.

I always ask this question: “How many pickup books, YouTube videos, blog posts, and online courses have you studied?” Most have at least read something. There are probably hundreds of articles on this exact subject on Girls Chase alone. So, how can anyone still not know what to say?

Because they haven’t racked up enough experience.

Some of my first ever approaches followed marathon study sessions, where I spent all night memorizing pickup routines. I had whole stories involving roller coasters, horses, and cubes, but when I finally mustered the guts to actually approach, I forgot all of it.

When you’re nervous or fearful, your adrenaline spikes. This draws blood away from your brain to your extremities. It puts you into “fight-or-flight” mode. How can you seductively articulate your thoughts when your brain thinks you’re going into battle? You can’t.

You can throw a seduction into overdrive by building rapport and trust with your girl. To quickly build rapport and trust, use contrasting and listing.

Rapport is something I’ve touched on before. It’s that nice, warm feeling you get just by being around a close friend you share some commonalities with, or a workplace colleague you’d trust enough to share the more personal aspects of your life. It comes from being understood by another person, someone who can communicate with you in just the right way, the way you like.

Charismatic seducers – confident and attractive men who ooze warmth – tend to build immense amounts of rapport at breakneck speed with the women they meet and seduce. They know how to talk to girls in a way that makes them feel understood quickly, and with great communication skills, the rapport builds faster and deeper, until she starts feeling like she can trust them.

These men will meet attractive women via day game, night game, social circles, or pretty much any room they step into. They’ll be able to turn a causal, five-minute chat into a deep, fascinating baring of souls, an intimate conversation that can stretch out over long periods. They will often end up back at his or her place, getting even more intimate – this time in the physical sense.

As I mentioned in my previous article on rapport, the more rapport you can build, the more she will feel like she can trust you. Trust and rapport are directly correlated with one another.

The women I meet often tell me some of their deep, dark secrets and remark that they’re surprised they’re telling me this… before going ahead and telling me anyway.

I’ve had women share their sexual fantasies, as well as intimate thoughts and experiences they’ve had, things they aren’t even comfortable sharing with some of their female friends, most of the men they meet, and even their boyfriends. These are women I have met via cold approach. I made them trust me, and you can learn how to do it, too!

It’s a great ability to have. Think about it – if a woman you cold approach trusts you enough to share some deep, personal aspects of her life with you, she’s obviously going to trust you enough to give you her phone number. She'll trust you enough to meet up later for a date, and she’s not going to feel weird about going back to your place.

In my previous article, I shared some tips and techniques you can use to start building rapport in your day-game conversations with women. Think of that article as a primer. If you haven’t read it already, I’d recommend taking some time to go over it before continuing.

In this article, I’ll be sharing even more techniques you can use in day game or pretty much anywhere you might find an attractive woman worth talking to.

Ever have a girl hit you with a "gotcha" question, at the worst possible moment? You had just asked her out, or to come home with you, or got to bed. Then – GOTCHA!

Under my article on women not counting men they've slept with, SZ asked:

"How do we not get into the settle down relationship thing ? A girl might admit she's a slut, but she'll say something like, "you have to promise me you'll stay with me if we have sex, you have to tell me you won't leave me, will you leave me? Will you be my boyfriend? Etc.""

These are what we call "gotcha" questions. Women will hit you with them when you least expect it, and are worst prepared for it. They're tests... aimed at you at the most inconvenient of moments.

Example "gotcha" questions include:

• You're about to sleep with her, but she stops you to ask you if you'll be her boyfriend

• You ask her out, and she says "okay", then says "Wait, what will we do on this date?"

• You give her a drink, and she asks "You're not trying to get me drunk, are you?"

• You invite her home with you, and she asks "Are you trying to have sex with me?"

• You move to kiss her and she stops you to say "This is as far as we go, right?"

I'm sure you've seen other similar questions too.

These questions may be conscious traps. Or the girl may just find her in a suddenly uncertain situation, and want a little clarity from you.

Regardless her reason for asking though, the effect on you can often amount to "Geez, what do I say here?"