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Need to make things more romantic/sexual? Want a girl to tell you how to seduce her? Use the lover lens… and let her tell you how her past lovers have done it.

One of the things I have discovered over the years is that seduction is definitely NOT "one size fits all."

If you always seduce in the same way you may not realize this.

You might even be consistently successful with your schtick, if you have it really locked in and use a broadly seductive approach to game.

However, there are little nuances that work better for one girl and worse for another. If you know what they are you're at an advantage, compared to men who don't.

How do you find such things out though?

After all, you can't just ask a girl for them... or can you?

In fact you can, with a little tactic we might dub 'the lover lens'.

Both compliments and negs are part of a quadrant, but few men use them right. Most use the OTHER (far less effective) side of the quadrant: flattery and insults.

I want to talk about a dichotomy today I've not seen spelled out anywhere:

That is negging vs. complimenting.

Most guys in the community these days have largely abandoned both: they won't neg and they won't (or only poorly) compliment. Yet both tools can be quite powerful... when used correctly.

Much like many things in this space, both have fallen prey to misuse and recategorization as several waves of unskilled seducers have clumsily attempted to adopt these seduction tools, giving both bad names in the process.

This article isn't necessarily a re-taking of these; I have one coming on compliments soon that I think will give you a different perspective from both the neo-direct "simple direct flattery-based compliments" style and the more indirect "don't compliment her much/at all" style.

However, in the meantime, I wanted to make a quick piece detailing the 'quadrant' negs and compliments lie on... and give you a better idea about how and when to use each.

People are becoming pricklier, and women are no exception. To succeed with them, you must at times disarm them first. There are 4 different ways to do that.

Lately I've been dealing with disarming.

The concept sprung to mind most recently as I realized more and more of our readers are men stuck in the 'standards zone' -- a place where they cannot get the women they want because they don't meet those women's standards. Rather than disarm their concerns (because I wasn't really treating them as part of our target audience before), I argued with guys that women's standards are not actually high... which of course just makes guys who are of this mind close up and dig into where they already are.

Now, arguing with people obviously is not an effective way to open up communication lines with them.

Arguing is what you do when you want to bludgeon someone, either to make an example of him, or to win him over by sheer force of argument... which usually won't carry much farther than a single interaction, and tends to burn through good will.

The thing is, people across the board are becoming more argumentative -- and that goes for women.

People are more opinionated right now then I've seen them since I've been alive. I wasn't around during the anti-war protests in the 1970s, so maybe it was worse then, but at least in the years since the 1980s this is the most prickly I've seen it.

Women in particular are being dosed with all this propaganda about a 'battle of the sexes' going on.

Not all women are equally susceptible to this programming. Some are very, some are a little, some aren't really at all.

However, you will encounter women who are.

To succeed with these women (or, as a less ambitious goal, to avoid unpleasant encounters!), you must be able to disarm their prickly defenses.

You must, in other words, be able to take them off their guards.

If you meet a group where the friends are receptive but the girl you want isn’t, what do you do? Simple: you win over the friends, and tease the standoffish girl.

This is more of a technique for higher intermediate to advanced seducers, though lower intermediates can toy around with it too (though expect to fail a lot).

Beginners should not attempt this... it will just blow up your face as a beginner.

However, for today, let's talk about a flirtation tactic that can be quite powerful yet requires finesse.

The tactic in question is teasing women to their friends.

This tactic is POWERFUL at achieving a few distinct things:

• Building camaraderie with a woman's friend group, so they like you and won't cockblock you
• Establishing yourself as a part of a woman's group, so you appear more 'friend-approved' to her
• Creating a teasy-flirtatious vibe with the woman you like even if she's resistant to you
• Grabbing some social rank in a woman's friend group where you position her a bit beneath you

The effect of it all is that, when executed right, the girl you want will start to chase you, no matter how closed off she was before.

Note: a lot of the basic theory behind this works exactly the same as the old school PUA neg. We're just doing slightly more fun teases, instead of using backhanded compliments.

However, because of the risks of both teasing someone you're not engaged with, and the social rank grabbing you'll be doing, this one's also a bit tricky.

You see, people don't like strangers opining about them, and they don't like you status jockeying with them, either, especially not in their own groups. Because it's her group, she has home turf advantage, too.

So, annoy her too much, and you may quickly find yourself shut out of the group, regardless how much the others laughed at your ribbing of her.

Thus, this is a tactic that is often very useful -- but with which you must be careful.

To calibrate to a woman, you must be able to glean the information from her you need to make your adjustments. What information do you need, and how best can you use it?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today I would like to talk about calibration. Long ago, I wrote a series about calibration:

• Part 1 – How to calibrate to a girl, her vibe, actions, and reactions to your moves (an essential part of calibration).

• Part 2 – How to calibrate according to the context: the social and logistical setting (how isolated you are) and the logistics of her group (her friends and social circle).

• Part 3 – How to calibrate your timings. Not all moments are ideal for making a move, setting a frame, escalating, or isolating, so hit the right timing for max success. An important difference between intermediate players and advanced guys? Advanced guys hit on the right timings and get rewarded.

I wrote two more posts for this series about personality types that could assist you (I do not consider her “personality type” a reliable factor for calibration).

Today’s post is truly essential to calibration: information.

You cannot calibrate if you go in blindly, or else you’ll make many mistakes. You need information to calibrate. Without information, you have no way of knowing whether you are making the right move, escalating fast enough, or going in too slow.

So, let’s discuss the role of information: how you acquire it and use it.

A fun little way to break conversation patterns… and get women to chase you. Intrigue her, interest her, and help her realize there are mysteries about you to uncover.

Just a small little tactic today:

Pattern interrupts you can use to break rapport.

It’s no fun getting interrupted when you’re talking to a girl. How do you recover the right way, without looking try-hard or upset? Simple: use panspers.

Sometimes when you're talking to a woman you've recently (or not so recently) met, people will interrupt you.

This isn't always unavoidable; there are things you can do to reduce how often it happens.

For one, often if you ignore people attempting to butt into your conversation, and your conversation partner does as well, the interrupter will begin to feel awkward, then leave. So, don't break circle.

For another, use some situational awareness: don't approach women someone's likely to interrupt you with during the first three minutes of conversation.

For a third, you can use a little group theory to get a woman's friends (if she's with friends) on your side.

These three things in concert will dramatically reduce the number of interruptions you'll deal with.

Nevertheless, no matter what you do, you are still going to encounter interruptions from time to time.

It is simply a part of socializing. Sometimes the people you're talking to have other people who want to talk to them too (and who won't be content to wait idly by until you've wrapped your conversation!).

How you deal with this, and how you recover, can make all the difference in the future of your interaction with a girl.