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8 Signs Your Friend Is a Psychopath

Hector Castillo's picture

signs of a psychopath
Psychopaths have tremendous social acumen, but can be very harmful to those closest to them. Here are the 8 signs your friend is one.

They are everywhere. They work with you. They’re in your social circle. They might even be a family member.

Hell, you may even be one.

Psychopaths are everywhere.

Okay, they’re not everywhere. There’s no way to know for sure, but current estimates are that 1% of the population are psychopaths.

And psychopaths are people, except they lack sympathy. Sympathy, not empathy. That’s the big distinction I think needs clarification. If they lacked empathy, they would have a very hard time fitting in with people and manipulating them, since they’d have no idea how those people felt. In fact, it’s more accurate to say that people on the autism spectrum lack empathy. A common factor in autistic people is they regularly have no clue how others feel in a conversation, and they cannot read the most basic of social cues (which are communicated via facial expressions, body language, voice tonality, etc.).

By lacking sympathy, however, psychopaths lack the ability to actually be concerned about you. They lack the emotional response necessary to think “I feel scared for him if he makes this bad decision, so I’ll save him from it” or “He’ll be hurt if I do this to him, so I won’t do it to him.” To conceptually understand something is not even in the same universe as emotionally understanding something. The latter is infinitely more clear.

They may be able to conceptually understand that you might not like it if they bone your girlfriend, but they won’t feel the potential of regret when they consider the possibility of you finding out and being heartbroken.

You can see how this might be potentially dangerous to date a psychopath or have one as a friend. They do not have Nature’s control mechanism of sympathy that serves to prevent mass tragedies in the human species.

Their only concern is what they can get from you, how much it will cost them, and... that’s it, really.

They aren’t fundamentally evil or malicious, but they do have the capacity to be more cruel and malicious than the average person. Given the right conditions, they will strike without a second thought.

It’s imperative, then, that you learn how to spot a psychopath so you can make more informed decisions on what role you want them to play in your life.

The Myth of Bros Before Hoes

Hector Castillo's picture

bros before hoes
If some guy tells you “bros before hoes”, you should probably put your guard up. It isn’t always a conscious thing when men violate this rule, though.

Whenever I hear a guy say “bros before hoes,” my first thought is “Sure, unless there’s a really hot ho in the room.”

As with most morality, you can rest assured that if someone is espousing it or is enforcing it on others, it is in the service of self-interest. This doesn’t necessarily negate the positive outcome of enforcing the specific ethic, but one should be skeptical of anyone virtue signaling, because despite the possible positive outcomes of the ethic, you might still become a casualty when the espouser doesn’t follow it.

This is the nature of trust, is it not? You expect one to act a certain way, especially since they’ve professed to be a keeper of such virtue, because you will bring them into situations where, if they don’t follow it, they could hurt you.

Unfortunately, almost without exception, every person who earnestly supports an ethic will at some point contradict it.

Thus it is highly advised that you be careful who you give the chance to put one over on you.

Now, I’m not saying that nobody is your friend or that any guy would cross you if it lands him a hot girl; but I am saying that, most of the time, he will, excluding the following conditions.

  1. His chances with the girl are low, even if he does cross you

  2. You provide A LOT for him

In other words, he might be able to tool you or be rude to you for a girl, but he probably won’t if his odds with the gal are low, or if you provide for him, socially or monetarily. That girl’s pussy might feel good, but is it worth losing a connection? This is how sociopaths think twenty-four hours a day.

This may seem like a cynical view, but my experience says otherwise. You can see the dark truths of the world and still be optimistic. You can love life but not walk down Southside Chicago at 2am. It’s unnecessary.

Same with thinking that guys are going to value your friendship over the prospect of pussy. It’s unnecessary and ignores the primal truth of the world – we’re in this for the pussy (and the gals are in it for the cock).

This should be your first assumption with most of your friends, if not all of them.

Don't Compete with Guys on What They're Good At (Instead, Beat Them on What They're Not)

Chase Amante's picture

beat them at what they're good at
When you’re head-to-head against another guy over a girl, the last thing you want to do is try to best him at what he’s good at. Beat him on your terms, instead.

Commenting under my article “If a Girl Has Sex with You Fast, is She a Slut?”, Mike asked:

Hey chase, please I have a question to ask. I want to know how to compete with guys more handsome than me. Thanks.

It’s a good question. It echoes similar questions I’ve answered in articles and in the comments before, such as:

I don’t want to spoil the whole article, but the way you win, of course, is by not trying to beat that guy at what he’s good at.

Instead, what you must do to win is change the rules of engagement.

With the right tweaks, you can put a guy on the defensive and emerge victorious for the girl, despite almost any number of on-paper advantages he might seem to have over you.

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 4: The Brolosopher

Hector Castillo's picture

brolosopher
The brolosopher: smart guy, easygoing diction and delivery. Sharp, savvy, but cool and social. If you want to use that big brain well, it’s time for some brolosophy.

A few years back, I was in a car with my friend. One moment, I was talking about something really deep and profound. I don’t remember what it was, but I do know that the next moment, I made some crass comment about women in some really uneducated language.

My friend, who was driving, laughed hysterically. The juxtaposition of my two stories was pretty strange.

Turning to me, he said in a loving voice, “Hector, you’re the dumbest smart person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

I didn’t know it at the time, but there was something in what he said. It was the secret to being smart but also socially dominant, physically dominant, and relatable.

And that’s the crux of what this series is about. If you haven’t already, you can (and should) read the previous articles here:

If you don’t want to go full dumbass with women and socializing (which might hurt boyfriend potential), here’s how you hybridize intelligence and base behavior.

It’s my favorite personality that this entity called Hector sometimes adopts.

How to Demand Respect, Pt 5: Show Auto-Rejection to Make Her Chase

Hector Castillo's picture

show auto-rejection
Advanced disrespect-handling tech: if she goes too far, show your displeasure – and get her to chase after you to make it right.

Welcome back to Part 5 of this series.

If you have not read them yet, read Parts 1 through 4 here:

Onto the topic of Part 5: using auto-rejection to make girls chase you.

Hopefully, you don’t get to this point.

It’s much better if, after reading the previous articles in this series, you stomp out disrespectful behavior before it gets big enough that you have to auto-reject.

The best way to get out of a choke hold is to not get caught in one.

But sometimes, shit happens, and you end up in a choke hold.

How to Become Popular: 6 Awesome Personal Adjustments

Denton Fisher's picture

how to become popular
Popularity is achievable for almost anyone willing to make a few changes. Warmth, behaving as-if, and the Golden Rule of Friendship are 3 parts of it.

My friends nowadays never believe me when I tell them this, but when I was much younger, I had issues with making friends and getting women to like me.

I have a hard time believing it myself sometimes. All those memories seem like a distant nightmare, from days sitting alone in stalls eating lunch, to desperately trying to make friends – just to be scoffed at. From my clumsy attempts to talk to women, to finding only laughter where all I wanted was love.

Today, things are a lot different. If you were to talk to anyone in my native city of Las Vegas or mention my name on the strip, a good one in twenty locals will have heard about me – and possibly even talked to me. I have my choice of women, and more friends than I can keep up with. My social life is almost a job in and of itself.

And it doesn’t end there. Not only did I take the time to build a social circle in my home town, I also have the ability to use my status in a club full of strangers.

But what did I do to change? How did I go from being a shy guy to a loudmouth with a silver tongue?

My journey was a long one. It took many years to refine myself and get a direction. But with enough time and effort, I got to where I wanted to be. When I look back on it all, I know that if I had the tips I am about to give you, I could have more than halved the time it took to get to this point.

How to Demand Respect, Pt 4: Direct and Indirect Disrespect

Hector Castillo's picture

indirect disrespect
Others can disrespect you in both direct and indirect ways. Each requires a different strategy to deal with properly.

Welcome back. We’ve finally made it to the rough and dirty part.

To get here, we first had to accept that the self is everything and you should love yourself with godlike pride.

In part 2, we examined some myths surrounding pride.

Then in part 3, we covered how to spot disrespect in its different forms.

Now it’s time to explore when and how to take action and demand respect.

How to Demand Respect, Pt 3: What Is Disrespectful Behavior?

Hector Castillo's picture

disrespectful behavior
Disrespect can be direct – but often it’s cloaked. This article walks you through the many types of disrespect… and shows you how to recognize them.

In the first article of this series, we learned that the love of self is your greatest ally with women and socializing.

Then, in Part II, we tackled the three biggest myths others use to convince you that pride is bad.

If you haven’t read the other two articles yet, they’re not absolutely required reading for this part; it functions fine as a standalone article too. But I recommend you give them a read if you want the full picture we’ve been painting on respect.

In today’s article, Part III, we’ll get into how to recognize disrespectful behavior. We’ll also cover a few ways to tackle such behavior, though next time, in Part IV, we’ll really get into the details on how to deal with it.

On with Part III: what is and is not disrespect?

Gratitude is Attractive (So Tell Her Thank You!)

Chase Amante's picture

gratitude attractive
Gratitude is a strong signifier of a socially calibrated individual. Not only does it help your interactions, but it increases your attractiveness, too.

This Thanksgiving, I figured I’d talk about gratitude.

One of the tools I’ve long used offhand to gauge someone else’s level of social calibration is whether and when he says thank you for things.

“Thank you” is a powerful phrase. It can be used to build bonds, to reward, or even to manipulate. Its absence can rub people the wrong way and cause them to see you as ungrateful and uncalibrated. It can raise your attainability, used right, or plummet it, if it isn’t given when it’s expected.

Beyond its effect on others, your use of gratitude affects you too. Thanking others reminds you you aren’t on your own; that you are part of a society, aiding others and being aided in turn.

In this article, we’ll focus on the effects on others when you use – or forget to use – gratitude.

But don’t forget the power it has to make you feel good too. Giving thanks for what you’re grateful for pays its own great dividends.

How to Demand Respect from Others, Pt 1: The Self Is Everything

Hector Castillo's picture

demand respect
If you want respect, you must be able to demand respect. The first part of this, however, is to realize you will never destroy your ego – so you might as well work with it.

There is an undercurrent of pseudo-philosophical thinking in the manosphere and the seduction community that needs to be revealed for what it is.

I have also been guilty of allowing this false thinking. This is as much a self-correction as it is a monumental criticism that strikes at the heart of many a grandmaster’s conclusion.

I call it the Egolessness Fallacy.

It is the fallacious thinking that having no ego is the best way to succeed with women.

The thinking goes as such: “Without an ego, where is thy sting, rejection?” There is no one there to be rejected.

This is *very* close to truth, but that which is closest to truth but not truth is the most devious lie.

I reckon this is how the falsity was woven.

If you go far enough in any skill, you will learn how to learn. You will learn how you learn, which means you’ll come to know how emotions affect you, stick with you, and how your thinking works.

The journey of seduction is perhaps one of the most direct paths to learning oneself, save for meditation, since you are the subject who is both acting and being evaluated. In any sport, you are the one carrying the ball or kicking the ball, yes, but the end goal is something impersonal. The other team or your team gets scored on. You are somewhat detached from the loss or victory (though it doesn’t always feel that way, of course).

With game, however, the woman has to accept you for there to be victory.

Furthermore, victory is mutual. You get pussy and she gets cock. You both win.

This means you are not so focused on the other person losing as you are with a traditional sport; you’re instead focused on two paradoxical outcomes.

You need her to want to submit to you.

However, the paradox is revealed when you consider that a woman does not submit to her equal or subordinate. It doesn’t make sense. She wants to submit, but she doesn’t win by submitting to a man who can’t make her submit.

One could be equitable and argue you need to be more dominant than her, but in practicality, this is going to look and feel like you are greater than her. Philosophize all you want, you must be her superior if you want to have sex fast.

You > her.

Don’t see the paradox yet? Alright, here it is.