Social Life

You should always have a few fresh, recent stories to tell about your life.

These don't have to be particularly amazing stories. But they should be a little interesting, they should be recent, and they should display some interesting trait about you.

For instance, do you ever get people run up to you with strange requests? Four days ago I was at a Starbucks, eating a yogurt cup and reading my Kindle. They have this low-fat yogurt at Starbucks that is horrible. I don't know who wants yogurt with the fat out. But if you get the mixed berry yogurt, you can scoop up some berry and granola with the yogurt so it isn't too awful.

Well, I'm sitting there at this table by the window by myself, and I notice some girl hovering nearby. She looks like she's looking out the window, but I think she wants something.

Anyway, I go back to my book and my slightly awful low-fat yogurt.

The girl suddenly appears again, right at my table, and interrupts my reading. She says excuse me, do you have WhatsApp on your phone?

I look at her. She's pretty. But her face is glistening like she's been running a marathon or has a gland problem or something. And she looks all serious and distracted.

I can't tell if she's trying to meet someone and lost her phone, if she's using this as an excuse to meet me, or if she wants to steal my phone.

"I need to log into my WhatsApp account to check my messages," she tells me.

"Oh, sorry," I say. "I don't have WhatsApp."

But she doesn't leave. She just stands there, with her glistening face and her serious, distracted look.

"Oh," she says. "Because I thought everyone has WhatsApp. I just need to log into my account."

I don't know if she didn't hear me or what. She's not even really looking at me now, just glancing around as if scanning for predators. I do a quick mental calculus of "Do I want to go out of my way to help this random sweaty distracted chick? Do I want to tell her she can download WhatsApp to my phone, then sit there and watch her like a hawk while she uses it to make sure she doesn't make a break to run out of Starbucks with it?"

Instead I just tell her "Sorry, I don't have it."

She stands there for another moment, still looking sweaty and distracted. Finally she says "Okay, thanks" and walks off.

I notice her 15 minutes later over at some long table in the Starbucks, texting on a phone, still looking sweaty and serious but now laser-focused on whatever she's texting. So I guess she found someone to lend her a phone.

I dunno, what would you do in that scenario? I might've been more inclined to lend her my phone if she'd used a napkin first and wiped all that sweat off.

The gift of gab can be learned, but it involves more than just words. True smooth talkers master a range of elements that culminate in a complete performance.

Smooth talkers have a deep understanding of what makes a great conversation.

A conversation’s “smoothness” is defined by how it handles transitions – how it moves from one topic to another or goes deeper into a particular topic. It is also defined by how the conversation’s errors are handled (e.g., awkward points, miscommunications, etc.).

The fewer “errors” in a conversation, and the better those errors are handled, the more smooth a conversation will feel. But transitions must also lead somewhere – a conversation can be smooth but boring, and that’s not worth much.

Thus there should be good emotions involved. A conversation shouldn’t only be smooth and fun, but also enriching.

You want the other person – or people – to walk away having learned something, felt a great connection with you, and gained more respect for your character.

What’s difficult to teach about conversation, of course, is the details.

“What do I say?”

If you expect me to tell you what to say, you’ll be disappointed. What to talk about depends on the environment, the context, the people. The occasional anecdote can be great if the context is right for it. But going in with pre-fabricated conversations can backfire, because a good conversation is dynamic. Conversations are note speeches.

What matters most is being able to start a conversation, then keep it going no matter where it goes. Context is everything with a conversation. The ability to make the conversation interesting depends on your familiarity with the context, whatever it may be.

There is one secret that I learned to developing good conversational skills, but it is not in and of itself the answer, only a force that propels you. At the end of this article, I will reveal it, but in order to utilize it, you’ve got to know the basics.

So, to start, I will teach you a system to learn how to smooth talk like a pro. If followed properly, people will seek out your company, because they know the value and the positive motions that will follow in the wake of your presence.

Let’s get to it.

If you meet many 'pick up artists', you may realize the majority aren't very cool. There's a very good explanation as to why (and it's not that talking to girls doesn't work).

Over on the forum, one of our members, Ree, asked a provocative question: "Are pick up artists losers?"

He notes:

"Man i have to ask a very tough question.

when i got into seduction,i imagined a seducer is a guy like james bond.

someone who knows how to handle any social situation,someone skilled,well off,charming and with super tight fundamentals.

yet I am in a whatsapp group with a bunch of seducers and only a few satisfy this image.

most puaz that i have had the misfortune to meet,are guys who have read every article of gc but still have victim mentality,entitlement ,bitterness ,very poor fundamentals,meagre results and when i point this out to them,the reactions are usually very hostile and explosive.

something else i have noticed,the few guys who are good and normal would never react like this

for example, say you walk up to me and say, "ree : your girls are ugly"

i would either try to do something about my purpotedly ugly girl,or i would shrug and ignore you,both ways,nothing anyone can say would make me explode with rage.

however in my experience most people take any criticism very badly,
and this just does not affect their seduction only,most puaz i know are jobless or they have very low value,on top of that ,after reading countless articles,they walk around life with a "i know it all attitude"even though they have no credible achievements.

what is your experiences for those of you who have hang around puaz?is the same true for you guys too?"

If you've met many guys into seduction, you've undoubtedly noticed what Ree has: many aren't so good. Many carry around a lot of negative mindsets. The majority aren't so open to criticism. And by and large, many aren't cool.

But why should this be so -- aren't PUAs, by definition, supposed to be babe magnets?

Feelings of security or fear largely influence how people play the game. Can these factors be used to predict whether someone will play red or black?

The red-black game is a simple reflection of how decision-making affects outcomes, like what’s called the “butterfly effect.” In Part 3, we started to see how trust, fear, and the outcomes of the red-black game are self-fulfilling prophecies.

Throughout my work story, the company CEO and my colleague Monica both played red at various points when I chose to play black. That created chaos for me because I was unprepared – and now, I was about to be defeated.

However, playing red all the time also invites total destruction. Now we’ll find out what led to Monica’s downfall.

To conclude the red-black game series, we’ll see that stability – or the appearance of stability – affects the perception and presence of trust and fear.

In the end, we’ll see that our own beliefs about the world create that reality, as well as the outcomes of the red-black game.

To avoid boring people out when they ask a question like “What do you do?” try answering the question without really answering it.

Learning the nuances of the most basic social norms is something most people don’t give much thought to.

In college, I remember spending a lot of time contemplating how to respond to that weird “Hey, how are you?” exchange that happens when you pass someone you know. Most of the time, they say “Good, how are you?” and don’t even listen as they walk past. Responding with “Good, thanks” is a necessary but useless response.

How do you make those interactions more interesting and less awkward?

I took the time to figure that out, and it helped a lot.

The same goes for the question, “What do you do?”

If you approach a lot of girls – which you should if you want to get dates, sex, and girlfriends – then you’re going to hear “What do you do?” a lot.

It will also come in other forms.

“What do you do for work?”

“What do you do for a living?”

“Where do you work?”

Your answer won’t change much, regardless. As long as you understand the basic root of what they’re asking, answering is simple.

So, what’s going on when someone asks “What do you do?” and how do you respond to it in a way that makes you interesting and cool?

Here are nine ways to do it without giving the typical, boring answer of what you actually do.

First, let’s go over why it’s boring to tell girls what you do – most of the time.

The Red-Black Game can get hairy in competitive situations. Let’s take a look at an example from my own life where I get the shaft for not protecting myself.

Welcome back to The Red-Black Game – covering the brutality of life!

In Part 2, it was important to understand the utility of playing red in the game. Perhaps even more crucial, however, we discussed how important it is to defend yourself against red players and neutralize threats before they have the chance to execute.

Now let’s look at how stability – or the appearance of stability – affects the perception and presence of trust and fear, and how the outcomes of the red-black game can be self-fulfilling prophecies.

Ultimately, we’ll see how your beliefs about the world create that exact reality.

Life is full of self-fulfilling prophecies. Our thoughts define our actions.

As we saw in Parts 1 and 2, once fear enters a person’s psyche, they question motives and make decisions that shift the dynamics from red to black. However, it’s ultimately black – i.e., collaborative approaches – that create wins for great ventures.

On the other hand, while red players are capable of winning, we’ll also see that playing red too often – sometimes to an addictive degree – can cause total failure and self-annihilation.

“Speak softly, and carry a big stick” was Theodore Roosevelt’s suggestion for how to play the Red-Black Game. Let’s talk about why it’s such a great strategy.

In my first article about the red-black game, we covered the mechanics of the game and how the choices involved reflect those we make in life.

We spent a great deal of time analyzing the implications of choosing black, which we use to build support, generate enthusiasm, and win together.

Now let’s look more closely at red and how self-preservation fits into the picture.

We concluded that when it comes to internal issues, where you want stakeholders to win with you, it’s best to play black. Trust, collaborate, cooperate, and play nice but firm. Alternatively, when you have an external issue, where you see a threat that you cannot move to your side, it’s best to play red. Compete, defeat, and do whatever it takes to win.

It’s important to keep in mind that not all people are out for the same thing or have the same values at the same times. Sometimes, circumstances beyond the control of one or both parties make it impossible or impractical to partake in mutually beneficial models.

Unexpected changes in the wind, the market, or personal circumstances can lead to legitimate fear and mistrust in everyone. Mutual benefit is not always a matter of trusting other people in a relationship.

You could trust someone implicitly, but can you always trust the security of the underlying situation, and can you trust that circumstances won’t change? The one constant in life is change, so you should expect and prepare for changes throughout your life.