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Social Life

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How to Deal with Freeze-Ups when Trying New Venues, Part 2

Alek Rolstad's picture

social freeze ups
Social freeze-ups can happen anywhere, even venues you’re familiar with. So here are more ways to set things in motion and turn a sour mood into a sexy vibe.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Last time we discussed overall strategies to prevent and handle potential freeze-ups when frequenting new venues. Today we will delve deeper into this topic. Let’s focus on practical tools that can help you counteract potential anxiety in the field.

Last time we focused primarily on dealing with new venues, since these are usually a source of potential nervousness. You do not feel fully at home in new environments, and they can be a bit scary.

I’ve mentioned that freeze-ups can also happen in familiar venues where you do feel at home, too.

Even though you’ve been to a place many times and have had great nights and much success there, there can be nights where you still struggle and have a hard time interacting with others. So here are some more general solutions that will also help in familiar places.

How to Deal with Freeze-Ups when Trying New Venues, Part 1

Alek Rolstad's picture

social freeze ups
The experience you gain by going to different venues is invaluable, but it’s easy to freeze up socially in new environments. This is normal, but not untreatable.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Today, I’ll discuss club game issues that are relevant to everyone at any level. What do you do when you experience a “social” freeze-up at a club?

Sometimes guys freeze up when entering a club. They feel unable to approach women or groups. Their anxiety rises, and they start feeling anti-social, and not in the mood.

If you are experiencing this, you are likely entering what psychology calls “freeze mode.”

Guys freezing up will often rationalize that the venue is bad for hooking up and start seeing negativity everywhere:

The list goes on.

When you enter freeze mode, and you don’t feel social, you start seeing negativity everywhere. And most of the time, it’s just a bias created by your mood.

So let’s discuss what causes this mood and then discuss some solutions to help you successfully move forward in these situations.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Come Up with a Good Punch Line

Chase Amante's picture
how to come up with a good punch line
How do you end jokes and stories with a great punch line that makes your listener laugh herself right out of her skirt? With expense, delivery, and non-humiliation.

Every time you tell a story or a joke, there are a few elements that go into it.

I talked about how to tell a story sometime back. I still haven't done my own guide on how to be funny yet, but we already have a trio fantastic guides from a few other Girls Chase contributors:

When you're telling a joke or a funny story, one of the most important parts is the punch line.

The punch line is where you wrap it all up and make this other person feel like the listening was worth it. If there's no punch line, or the punch line is weak, your listener will feel let down. If the punch line is good, your listener will be glad he listened.

The punch line is the most important part. If you have a good punch line, the rest of the joke or story will write itself. Because at that point, the rest of it is just the setup for the punch line you're about to deliver.

15 Scientific Ways to Be Extremely Charming

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

be charming
To get ahead in this world and avoid condemnation; to attract a good mate and less humiliation, be charming. It’s easy, and you can start by reading this article. ;p

Would you like to be charming as, say, Tyrion from Game of Thrones, or Barrack Obama? Yeah, you would.

How about no more rejections from hot girls, no more waiting in lines for bread and Vodka rations? (I’m in Post-Soviet-Bloc Bulgaria at the moment.)

That’s right. Today I’m going to teach you how to be charming.

What exactly is charm, anyway? Are you just born with it, genetically gifted, like me? Or can you learn to be charming?

Yes, you can learn.

What is charm?

  1. A trait that fascinates, allures, or delights

  2. A physical grace

  3. Compelling attractiveness

It’s also considered a magic incantation, or an item believed to contain luck-bringing qualities.

To be a “charming” person means you’re pleasant, valuable to be around, and possibly magical.

 

How to Take Women Home Without Having the Right Social Frame

Alek Rolstad's picture

overcoming social frame
Having the right social frame is important for making girls feel allowed to hook up with you. But there are ways to overcome social mismatches with pure awesomeness.

Hey, guys. Today we will discuss how you can get women and score social points at a venue or social gathering where you do not fit in.

Before I get started, a word of caution: this is a seduction blog about getting women. This advice is not valid for professional lives or other situations. It may apply elsewhere, but I cannot say for sure.

Try this out in venues and situations where you have little to lose socially and economically.

How to Tell a Story

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

how to tell a story
Storytelling is a great skill, especially for attracting women. Getting her hooked and showcasing your good qualities all become smoother if you know how to tell a story.

Most men have no idea how to tell a story, especially one that will attract beautiful women.

I’m a writer. I have a blog with over one million written words. I’ve published multiple books, including fiction novels and a memoir, and I teach men how to talk to women. So I have a little experience with storytelling.

I’m in Kyiv, Ukraine at the moment. I’m trying to write, but I’m distracted by the waft of perfume drifting off the endless stream of long-haired, fair-skinned beauties sliding past the café in their high heels. How did I end up ten thousand miles from home, in a country that’s actively engaged in war with Russia? Was it for the women? The adventure? First, let me teach you how to tell a story.

Did that paragraph grab your attention? Were you hooked? With approaching women, the first step is to “hook” a girl (make her stop and pay attention). The first step in a story is to “hook” the audience, then captivate, amuse, charm, and attract them to you.

The Social Dynamics of Female State Control in Pickup

Alek Rolstad's picture

social dynamics
It’s not always obvious why a girl ejects from a seduction. Let’s take a look at some nuanced aspects of social dynamics as they relate to Female State Control.

Hey guys, and welcome back. Today I will finish up where we last left off. Last week’s discussion was about social frame, focusing on social value, a key aspect of social frame and seduction in general.

Social frame is a bundle term for everything concerning attraction and attractiveness on a social level. A good social frame lets you match with her socially. It contributes to whether or not a girl will feel it is okay to hook up with you. If you lack social frame, you may risk causing her to regain control of her emotions and back off, despite being stimulated by you emotionally. That's what we call Female State Control (FSC), which has been the primary topic of all my posts these last few weeks.

Previously we discussed how:

  • Social value is vital to social frame, and why it’s important to have at least a minimum threshold of social value

  • Social value is relative to where you are at with attracting her

  • You can increase your social value through different techniques and concepts

Today we will discuss another aspect of social frame — social dynamics. We’ll look at the dynamics that take place in the interaction, and how they can make you win the girl or lose her.

This post should present little new information to those who are accustomed to pickup literature, although a recap is always nice. Also, you will see how these concepts relate to social frame and perhaps gain a new perspective on how they affect the interaction and outcome. For this reason, I would recommend even advanced guys read this article.

Let’s get to it.

Get People to Like You and Be Cool: Use the Spotlight! (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Being the center of attention is an amazing feeling. Everyone enjoys it, even if they don’t want to admit it.

It feels good for everyone to be paying attention to you and to laugh, smile, and stare at your performance as a social being.

I don’t care how introverted you are or how “too cool for groups” you are – you love attention. We all do.

So this is how you GET the spotlight and how you USE it.

It is a tool like everything.

So let’s learn how to use this tool.

How to Be Popular: 9 Tips (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

If there is anything you PROBABLY want to learn on this site besides how to get laid and get a girlfriend, it’s this – how to become popular.

Everyone wants it.

I wanted it. I still want it.

But without a good strategy, you will probably fail. Popularity doesn’t just “happen.”

Like wealth or skill, social status must be earned by YOU.

And it takes WORK.

How do you talk to people in a way that makes them like being around you so they will continue to want to be around you? How do you behave, connect, and rise in the ranks? It’s all very complex.

And yet, very simple.

For you, watching this video, it will be simple. I break down 9 ways for you to become popular. In my opinion, these are the fundamentals of becoming popular in ANY circle.

They work ANYWHERE with ANY group of people.

Low class. High class. Snobby. Humble. Hipster. Gym fiends. Aristocrats. Assholes.

Only the flavor and difficulty changes.

Fundamentally, it’s all the same.

So here you go.

4 Ways to Use the Contrast Principle in Your Love Life

Chase Amante's picture
contrast principle
The contrast principle allows you to guide people to the choice you want them to make with the use of a powerful psychological feature: contrast.

On my article about fun ways to use reverse psychology, a reader named 'America's Ass' asks:

Hey Chase, I loved this article! Would you mind doing one on the "contrast principle". It seems to be a great tool in fields like sales, negotiation and persuasion in general. Looking forward to your wisdom on how one could use this in a courtship scenario. Aufwiedersehen!

What is the contrast principle America's Ass is referring to?

It is the idea we do not judge things in absolutes.

Rather, we contrast one thing against something else.

When you say "This pastry is delicious," you really mean "This pastry is delicious contrasted against other pastries I've had." When you say "That person is a jerk," you really mean "That person is a jerk contrasted against the other people around me usually."

There are many ways you can see the contrast principle in life:

  • The Hot Girl (Guy) in the Room Effect: everyone's been stuck in a classroom or office space where another person present is the most attractive around. Maybe you developed a big crush on this person over a few weeks or months. But when one day you saw this person outside class/the office, out in the real world, next to all the other people in public, suddenly that person was rather plain. How did this individual look so good in class or the office, yet so plain in public? Because, contrasted against your (few... or zero) other romantic options in the classroom/office, this person was the best, and the contrast principle inflated her (or his) attractiveness. Out in the real world, where there are many more options to choose from, some of them much more attractive than the classroom/office hottie, this person becomes pretty plain in contrast.

  • Fruit Sweetness. If you eat a lot of cakes, cookies, candies, soda, and ice cream, when you bite into a fruit, it's not that sweet, and it may not be that enjoyable or rewarding. The reason why is because fruits use sugar to make themselves yummier. But cakes, cookies, candies, soda, and ice cream have far more sugar packed into them than fruit does, and if you regularly eat them, it will seem like the sugar content of fruit is not that high in contrast. Yet, if you take a break from confections, and cut the cakes, cookies, candies, soda, and ice cream out of your diet, within a month or so fruits begin to seem much sweeter, and become an enjoyable dessert to have after a meal. Because you no longer contrast them against foods much sweeter than them, fruits now seem like the sweetest thing in the world to you.

  • Good vs. Bad Interviewees. If a job interviewer interviews a candidate who seems like a bad candidate for the role, the next candidate the interviewer speaks with (unless that candidate is even worse) will seem better than he otherwise would have in contrast. On the other hand, if the interviewer interviews a great candidate who really blows his socks off, the next candidate, even if that candidate is objectively pretty good, will seem much worse in contrast (unless the candidate is actually better than the first one). This works the same way on the interviewee side when interviewing for jobs. Interview with a place that leaves you saying "I would never want to work there!" and the next place will seem like the Promised Land in contrast. However, interview with a place where you conclude you would definitely like to work, and the next company you interview at will seem like a much bigger disappointment than it would've seemed had you interviewed at it first.

The two examples we just covered with people are somewhat outside your control (the fruit sweetness example, however, is 100% within your control). You can't completely control whether you are the most attractive member of your sex in a given room (though you can dress better, improve your posture, and do other things to make you a more attractive option). And you can't control how good or bad the interviewee is before you (though you can make yourself as good an interviewee as possible, to hopefully stand out in positive contrast to whomever came before).

So below, I'll give you a handful of ways you can use the contrast principle to actively influence the way other people see you... and, in turn, influence the results you get, both socially and romantically.