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Tactics Tuesdays: Friendship Strengtheners

Chase Amante's picture
friendship strengthenersEven if making friends is easy, getting close to them is not. How do you build deep, lasting friendships? The secret is trust… which takes time; and also technique.

Men who end up reading Girls Chase often seek improvement socially beyond just dating. They also want better and stronger friendships, broader social circles, and superior social skills across the board.

I’ve fielded a lot of questions over the years about how to deepen friendships. Often guys may make new friends, but observe that their new friends have deeper friendships with others than they do with them.

Part of the answer to this is “time” – spending enough time around and interacting with someone is a necessary step to building a  lasting and deep relationship.

Another part of the answer though is “quality experiences” – i.e., not just hanging around eating Cheetos together watching the football game, but actually doing things or connecting over things that further the friendship bond.

Today I’m going to introduce you to several types of ‘friendship strengtheners’. Most of these will work to deepen your relationships with women as well. You won’t normally need them for a run-of-the-mill seduction… however, if you have a girl who’s a particularly tough case, or whom you’ve screwed up and need to recover with… or if you have a girl you’re already seeing, but you want a much stronger, deeper relationship with her… then these can work great.

We’ll start with activity-based friendship strengtheners, which are the more robust kind, but less convenient to use. Then we’ll talk about verbal friendship strengtheners, which are more flexible to use, but require the relationship already be at a certain point (which we’ll discuss, not to worry).

Nightlife Staff: Least Important to Most Important

Alek Rolstad's picture
TEXTSome nightlife staff are more worth knowing than others. So who do you really need to know? The DJ? Bartender? Promoter? The right connections make nightlife much easier…

Hey guys and welcome back.

Last week, I discussed how to deal with meat markets, and the week before, I went over how non-selective meat markets compare to selective, higher-end venues.

It would have been natural to follow up on how to pick up in higher-end venues since this would be a good contrast to how it works in typical meat markets.

But today’s post is not about that for a couple of reasons:

  • What is the point in discussing those venues if most of you are unable to get into them?

  • Getting in, as well as “gaming” in those venues involves social circle game. You need to know some staff or key contacts to get in. Knowing these people will greatly assist you.

Therefore, I decided to write two posts before getting to my “how to pick up in high-end venues” guide. First, I’ll cover dealing with venue staff, and next, how to get into these selective places.

Today, let’s review how to deal with the venue’s staff. Whom should you befriend? How do you befriend them?

This post will not cover much revolutionary information, but it will contain many tips you can implement today.

The list below ranks venue staff from least important to most important.

NEW VIDEO: Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life, Part 7

Chase Amante's picture

The seventh and final installment in my GirlsChase.TV video series “Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life” is here.

In this (free) video I arm you with eight (8) great tips to bolster your results as you use the daily-life pickup tips we covered in the other videos in the series.

In the video, you’ll discover:

  • How ACTIVE (or not) you have to be to pull this type of lifestyle off. Hint: you don’t have to be a “super extrovert” to make daily life pickup a reality

  • What to do to keep your day-to-day life picking up even when you’re busy (or if you’re someone who simply doesn’t like socializing a lot)

  • An important “activities” tip that lets you avoid burn out. Follow this tip to keep your daily life picking up fun & easy!

  • The “burning the candle at both ends” problem – I ran into this while “integrating” and wish I knew then the advice I have for you here…

  • Why it’s so key you actually LIKE the people you’re building your lifestyle with (you can get into “volume” lifestyle building, but the liking consideration is very important)

  • Doing your socializing in “bursts” rather than always being the social guy all the time – how to do this (without losing momentum) and who this “uneven” style is suited for

  • One thing to keep an eye out for WHILE doing your pickup and socializing… many guys overlook this, but it gives the guys who don’t a great extra “edge” and benefit!

  • A final lesson on building an integrated pickup/daily lifestyle that suits YOU, not one that is completely carbon-copied from me or someone else

This final video is a FREE installment in the series, which you can watch even if you’re not a GirlsChase.TV Premium subscriber.

Of course, you’ll still need a subscription to watch the really meaty Parts 3-6 in the series… but if you don’t have one yet you can watch this video + Parts 1 & 2.

Here’s my video on daily life pickup bonus tips & tidbits:

How to Socialize Better: I Want vs. You Want

Chase Amante's picture
man thinking in front of group of people in cafeA man may be focused on what he wants… or he may be focused on what others want. Too extreme a focus on either of these leads to dysfunction in his social life.

In any kind of social situation, there are two considerations you may have:

  • “What do I want?”

  • “What do you want?”

Many of the problems people have dealing with other people come from leaning too heavily onto one or the other of these.

When someone is too nice, or too big a pushover, or too unassertive, it is generally because he is overly focused on the question of “What do you want?”

When on the other hand someone is too rude, or too pushy, or too imposing, it is generally because he is overly focused on the question of “What do I want?”

Getting this balance right is a major milestone in better social results.

NEW VIDEO: Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life, Part 3

Chase Amante's picture

Are you ready to be “always on”?

This is a subject guys have asked me about over and over again for YEARS.

As soon as guys get into game, they start realizing there are beautiful women everywhere around them. They start getting approach invitations from women in random, unexpected places. And they beat themselves up over and over for missing those wide open opportunities, all because they weren’t “on”.

“Always on” is something of the Holy Grail for pickup-lifestyle integration. If you can achieve it, you become an absolute girl-gathering machine. But HOW do you do it?

In this video, the first premium video in the “day-to-day life” series, I lay it out:

  • How close to “100% always on” can you realistically get? I discuss from a realistic perspective, then lay out the path to actually getting there

  • The secret of “social mode”, and how to use it to keep yourself in the “on” state throughout the day. Hint: once your life is set up right, this becomes almost automatic

  • Creating social momentum during an ordinary day. What sort of interactions work for this, versus which are simply momentum “dead ends”?

  • 9 powerful ways to get your social mode thrumming that apply to any lifestyle. Use these to keep your social engine running, so you can spring into action any time a random good-looking girl shows up – shooting signals at you or otherwise

This video’s premium, which means you’re going to need a GirlsChase.TV subscription to watch it. Pick that up in the next 3 days and you’ll be paying only $12.47 per month for it (it goes up to $15/month next week).

A GirlsChase.TV subscription gets you access to all the highest quality exclusive content on GirlsChase.TV, including regular new videos by me. We’ve got four more videos left in this series on picking up girls in your day-to-day life to come… then after it comes the course every guy’s been asking me to do for the last seven or eight years: Fantastic Fundamentals, a GirlsChase.TV exclusive where we look at each and every fundamental in isolation, to get your attractive persona so ridiculously sexy girls will swoon the moment you step into the room.

Here’s our video on being “always on”:

7 Factors Behind the 2020s Dating Collapse

Chase Amante's picture
factors of the dating collapseDating has been on the decline in the West for some time. There are 7 main sociocultural reasons why. Together, they weave a web of complexity fewer and fewer daters break through.

I want to take a break from tactical articles to talk today about a broader topic.

While this won't contain how-tos, it will contain important perspectives I think will help shape the way you think about the dating landscape.

We've talked for a while about how dating is getting harder for people. We mainly talk about ways it is getting harder for men here, since this is a male-oriented site, but it's actually getting harder for both sexes.

It can be hard to put a finger on gradual changes, and even harder to name specific contributing factors to those changes. Generally what you will see is people who have one pet theory and blame it for everything: "It's due to feminism!" "It's due to porn!" "It's due to Hollywood brainwashing!" "It's due to a decline in morals!"

Social systems are complex systems though. They are hard to understand because they have many moving parts, and all those moving parts interact with each other. There is almost never one single cause for a major breakdown in function within a complex system.

Today we'll be looking at what I find to be the seven (7) most important causes of our contemporary breakdown in dating -- one that's led to an enormous reduction in romantic activity among men and women, and an explosion of bitterness among both sexes.

Tactics Tuesdays: Winning Over a Girl's Guy Friends

Chase Amante's picture
girl's guy friendsSome girls you’ll meet have guy friends with them. How do you deal with these guy friends? Should you ignore them? Get to know them? Follow these 4 tips… then win them over.

As you approach girls, particularly in social venues, you are going to run into girls with guy friends.

Now, you might never approach girls with guys around them, but you should. A lot of girls go out with men they are 'just friends' with.

She might be the guy's wingwoman. She might be his ex-girlfriend (why some men go out with their ex-girlfriends I will never understand). She might be a girl he's crushing on but is deeply friend zoned with and has accepted that she's going to go off with other guys. He might be her dating app date she felt no spark with and now they're both just sort of hanging out to see if either of them can meet someone else.

If you're in a gay-friendly venue you will run into girls who are there with their gay male friend. I have picked up girls that looked like they were with a boyfriend at first, only to find out the guy was gay, and busy looking for his own guy to pick up at the same time the girl was.

Some guys will leave you alone as soon as you are talking to the girl.

But sometimes you will need to interact with them.

What's the right way to talk with a guy who is with a girl you want, who is not interrupting you or cockblocking you, but whose approval you are usually going to need?

Pleasant People Get Pleasant Treatment

Chase Amante's picture
pleasant peopleWant the people around you to treat you better? Here’s a very simple solution for that: treat THEM better, first. Pleasant people get pleasant treatment.

I have observed over the past decade an explosion in argumentative, disagreeable, rude people.

There are people who are simply hot-tempered and combative by nature. That's not what I'm referring to here.

I am referring to an overall rise in ill-mannered, self-centered, socially stunted behavior. It is not just in young people, but in all people. I assume it is due to people spending more and more time on screens, plus the increasing divisions of society, in part due to those screens, and less and less time honing and practicing their social skills with real people.

At the same time that people behave bristly toward those they interact with, they complain about the bristled treatment they receive from others.

Today I want to address this trend, and throw a recommendation in there for you:

Be more pleasant.

12 Mistakes that SCREW UP Conversations & Flirtations

Chase Amante's picture
conversation mistakesSome mistakes really doom a conversation. Make any of these too early on, and your impression will be toast – along with the conversation.

A while back a reader named Xander, talking about some of his flirtations, asked about mistakes people make in early conversation that spell the end of those conversations:

I have seen that if girl is attracted to guy every mistake he makes is forgiven to him and if she isn’t she will intentionally look for things she dislike and reasons to behave bad. [...] Many times, I was in situation that girl from the beginning starts to look for reasons to be annoyed. [...] Some examples: I would disagree about some irrelevant topic during conversation and girl would be really pissed off and even start to shake from anger. They would ask me for my age and if difference is higher then few years they would criticize me about too different for them, etc.

There is an element of that that is true; if someone simply doesn't like you, it will be a lot easier for you to trigger a negative reaction with that person than it would be if you were liked.

Why is that? Well, we tend to give the people we like the benefit of the doubt. If someone you like makes an error, you arrive at the most charitable assumption as to why.

When someone you dislike makes an error, however, you're a lot more likely to assume ugly reasons or motivations for it, or that you and this person just aren't compatible.

This is true even for very fair-minded individuals (and even more so for the hot-tempered among us!).

This article won't be completely focused on 'liking', but if you follow the steps in it you'll be more liked, too.

Our chief focus today is on mistakes that damage conversations with other people -- in particular, those mistakes you make early on, when that first impression is still subject to change.

We'll cover two types of conversation mistakes below:

  1. General mistakes that apply to all the conversations you'll have with anyone

  1. Flirtation mistakes that apply to your romantic conversations with prospective paramours

On with it!

Tactics Tuesdays: The Disruptor Destroyer

Chase Amante's picture
disruptor destroyerSo some guy wants to disrupt your conversation with a girl, either to talk to you or to take her for himself. If you can’t ignore him, what can you do? Destroy him!

Quick little tactic that absolutely wrecks anyone trying to butt into your conversation with a girl.

Every guy's been talking to a girl only to have some random dude rudely interrupt his conversation, either trying to talk to him or trying to talk to the girl.

Sometimes it's because the interloper is uncalibrated and just wanted to talk to you or her but did not know how to wait properly for an opening in the conversation to jump in.

Other times it may be because the interloper directly wants to steal your girl, and he's hoping to peel her off you, or to peel you offer her (either so his wingman can talk to her, or so he can back-turn you once he's gotten you to break circle and turn his attention to the girl, with you now out of the conversation).

My normal recommendation (and normal policy) is to just ignore the guy (see: Dealing with Disruptive Men).

Most guys won't be able to break into a conversation if you don't acknowledge them, especially if the girl is into you enough to follow your lead and ignore the guy so long as you're ignoring him too.

But what do you do if the guy is really loud, aggressive, and in your face?

What do you do if he approaches the girl first, and you can see she's about to crack and break circle to engage with him?

There's an alternate tactic you can use -- something of a disruption Plan B -- if you're quick enough on your feet.

I call it the 'Disruptor Destroyer'.