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8 Ways to Build a Social Circle Filled with Awesome People

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

social circle
A quality social circle does a lot for you: connects you, loves you, helps you win at life. These tips provide simple ways to join one or build one from scratch.

Some of the best times of my life were when I had a large social circle filled with awesome people.

Yes, there are benefits to being a loner, too, especially if you need to do deep work, but having an awesome social circle full of interesting people can be incredibly rewarding.

 

Introvert or Extrovert?

To be noted, I’m what you’d call an introvert. It’s not a crippling disorder or anything; I just like my alone time. In my coaching experience, I’ve found most men who are drawn to the seduction community are also introverted. And many use this as an excuse for not going out or having an active social circle. The result is they never get laid (without paying for it).

If this is you, that’s cool. You can be introverted, but you can also put on your extrovert hat, which metaphorically may be a flat cap or a top hat or one of those deals with a propeller on top. Whatever you have, just pick it up and try it on. Pretend to be an extrovert just to see what it feels like, what the benefits are of a more social life. Trust me, depending on the sort of group you align with, there can be many.

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 4: Dead Weight

Varoon Rajah's picture

manage friends while learning seduction
When you improve your game with women and life, some friends you keep, others you outgrow. It can be painful leaving friends in the dust, but it’s for the best.

Welcome to Part 4 of my series on how to manage your male friends as you improve your game and see more success with women!

In Part 1, we covered how the dumb and clueless man can adversely affect your seductions and your relationships. Often these guys are good friends with good intentions but make one or more dumb public mistakes around a girl you’re courting or dating that affects her view of you, and you’re left picking up the pieces and dealing with the fallout. These guys also see your girl skills as more advanced and easier than you make it out to be. They think their mistakes are minor and easy to recover from when they can severely jeopardize your frame with a woman.

In Part 2, we looked at how shady guys befriend you to use your talents with women for their own gain. These guys may befriend you with good intentions but then try to steal away the women you’re seducing. These guys usually aren’t good at approaching (but they're decent with closing), so I’ve noticed they try to steal sets that you’ve already approached, opened, and built good vibes with. A state transfer occurs, and they try to lead her to sex after you’ve done the hardest work.

In Part 3, we discussed how judgmental friends fundamentally and morally disagree with your decision to get better with women or pursue your goals with women, and shame you behind your back to the rest of your social circle when you go against their beliefs.

All are ultimately toxic friendships that hurt you more than help you stay in them.

Finally, there’s the fourth type of friend you’ll run into. This friend tends to exist more for newbies just breaking into the world of women. I’ve found experienced and intermediate men naturally stay away from these guys because they fully understand how damaging they can be to their game.

This final type is what I call “dead weight guys.” Unfortunately, they hang around as friends and also want to go out with you to pick up women but provide little to no value or effort to help, and thus hold you back.

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 3: Judgmental Men

Varoon Rajah's picture

manage friends while learning seduction
Sexually ignorant and traditional men tend to judge the sexually liberated. How do you deal with these “white knights”? The same way women do: keep them in the dark.

Welcome to Part 3 of my series on how to manage your male friends as you get better and have more success with women!

In Part 1, we covered how the dumb and clueless man can adversely affect your seductions and your relationships. Most often, these guys are your good friends, and they have good intentions, but they make one or more dumb mistakes around the girls you’re courting or dating that affect her view of you, and you’re left picking up the pieces and dealing with the fallout. These guys see your girl skills as more advanced and easier than they truly are. They think their mistakes are minor and that you’ll quickly recover from them, but often they jeopardize your frame with a woman.

In Part 2, we covered how shady guys befriend you to use your talents with women for their own gain. These guys befriend you under good intentions, then try to steal women away from you. Most times, they simply aren’t good at approaching, so I’ve noticed these guys try to steal sets you’ve already approached, opened, and built good vibes with. A state transfer occurs, and they try to lead her to sex after you’ve already done the hard work.

Now in Part 3, we’ll go over one of the deadliest types of friends to have when you want to get better with women: your judgmental friends.

7 Ways to Stop Being Nervous Around Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

stop being nervous around women
To stop being nervous around women, you need to interact with people and gain a level of social normalcy. You just need more experience, and here’s how to get it.

Would you like to stop being nervous around women? You’re not alone.

Every student I’ve taught told me they have approach anxiety. Why do they suffer? Because they don’t know what to say. They don’t know what to say largely because they’re nervous.

It’s an evil feedback loop of despair.

If it weren’t for nervous men, I’d be out of a job. It’s the #1 reason most of us find the seduction community. Not because we want to be big pimps, have harems, and run a pickup company. We just want to be able to attract women.

I used to be very nervous around beautiful women.

When I was a kid, I developed man boobs, otherwise known as gynecomastia. Nothing hurts a young man’s self-esteem like having tits. Also, I was raised by a single mother and two sisters who surprisingly taught me nothing about attracting women.

I was horribly insecure, especially around the pretty girls. I couldn’t talk to them because I’d get too excited. My heart would start racing, and I’d sweat, stutter, stammer, and have panic attacks. The girls would just look at me with concerned expressions and ask, “Are you okay, Tony?” This happened often enough to be a big problem.

I did date a few girls: the ones who basically threw themselves at me. But because I was so needy, those relationships rarely lasted longer than a month. I felt that if I screwed up a relationship, it might be years before I found another girlfriend. Of course, this desperation drove the girls away.

That is, until I got liposuction, and found the pickup advice forums.

On the forums, I learned about “game.” How to cold approach women in bars, day game, push-pull, teasing, stories, cold readsfuture projections, and on and on. So I started going out to practice, to change my life with this new arsenal of tactics, techniques, and philosophies. This was it, I thought, I’m totally going to pick up hot women with all this knowledge!

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 2: Shady Men

Varoon Rajah's picture

manage friends while learning seduction
You’ve approached a hot girl and the seduction is going well, then some “friend” of yours swoops in and steals her. Here’s what to watch out for to avoid babe theft.

Welcome back to my series about how to manage your circle of friends as you get better with women! It’s one of the most aggravating problems men face as they increase their skillset and get with more higher-quality women. They eventually realize they’ll need to upgrade their group of male friends to follow their progress.

In Part 1, we talked about how many men are unfortunately clueless or dumb when it comes to women. Their lack of knowledge can make things awkward if you’re trying to do something with your girl, like maintaining a solid frame. With clueless and dumb friends, one split second mistake can affect you and your woman for months. The clueless friend will either downplay their actions or can’t fathom why their actions could have a serious impact. After all, they are typically hanging out with friends for the good times and will do nothing to impact their stake in the game.

Today we cover a more serious type of male friend: the conniving and shady friend, who uses you as a crutch to get the woman you are gaming. Shady friends often use the powerful tool of state transference to take a girl you approached, gamed, or even slept with and dated to twist the situation and get her for himself. As you can imagine, things can get ugly.

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 1: Clueless Men

Varoon Rajah's picture

manage friends while learning seduction
Your buddies have your best interests at heart, but they can inadvertently sabotage your efforts with women if they’re clueless about pickup and seduction.

Your male friends can have an impact on your encounters with women and how they transpire. As you get more experienced with women, a skill you need to learn is how to manage male friends. Unfortunately, sometimes your male friends can be the biggest impediment to your seductions. As you see your results increase, you have to be selective about the guys you hang out with, go out with, pick up women with, and share information with.

As you learn how pickup and seduction work, you’ll start to get with more women, but not all your male friends will have YOUR interests with women at heart. Perhaps they view you as a man without these traits, or they just haven't seen that side of you. Maybe they DO view you as such a man and just want a piece of it for themselves. You’ll start to see that other men will make mistakes around you that affect your frame with women. They might try to use your skills and leads for their own benefit, or they could judge your actions as amoral and shame you.

All these situations with your male friends can destroy the hard work you’ve put into with one woman, a series of women, or girls you’re dating with some stability.

There are four different types of guys we’ll talk about in this 4-part series:

  1. Clueless Men
  2. Shady Men
  3. Judgmental Men
  4. Dead Weight Men

In each article, I’ll share how best to deal with each type and what you can do as you become better with women.

Let’s start today with dumb and clueless men.

If Your Friends Are Needy About Women, Don't Talk About Women to Them

Chase Amante's picture
needy friends women
Friends who are needy with women become bad friends to you when women get involved. Best solution? Keep them away from woman stuff.

A couple months back, a member of our forums named Fluxcapacitor shared this tale:

Dudes! I went out with a couple of mates this week an I noticed this girl that I was interested in, my mate apparently seen her a week or so before. He went on to tell me he talked to her (which was surprising because he doesn't approach) and he got her number. She ignored 2 text messages, then he found her on social media (stalker alert...) an she didn't accept the "friend" or respond to his message. I don't think this is going anywhere fast for him.....

I felt like I couldn't approach this girl while he was about (he doesn't have abundance mentality an I wouldn't be surprised if he's already name their future children already :') ) an that it would look like I was stepping on his toes. I also thought to myself she'd have seen me with him so would possibly turn me down or ghost me to so it wasn't awkward but maybe she isn't that considerate......

I decided not to approach due to him cause I felt it would have looked like a dick move, but I don't think he's getting anywhere with it an so there's no harm in it.

Any thoughts dudes?

My response was this:

How to Have Sex with a Girl... and All Her Friends, Too (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Can’t decide who you want to sleep with? Cuz they’re all just so damn hot? No fear, just bang them all!

Ah, yes, seems like a fun idea, then you think about it and realize the monumental scandal that would be upon you and your reputation.

Is there a way to pull this off without totally ruining your relationships with these women?

Are women okay with you shagging their friends, and then them (or her first then the others... or maybe all together)?

I will show thee the way.

Click play!

In an Age of Connectivity, Maintain Your Privacy

Chase Amante's picture
just you and her
In the Internet age, everyone's cavalier about privacy. But now that people are routinely smeared, fired, and jailed for what they share online, should you still be so cavalier?

Right now, everyone's aware of how little privacy everybody else has in the Internet age.

We're all aware of it, but few of us care. Most people are actually pretty cavalier about their privacy.

Most people are on social media. A lot of people want to be big on social media. Pictures of their lives, videos, and so on. They want to blow up and get all those sweet, transitory thumbs up from random people.

Trading privacy for social approval is an attractive prospect when you are younger. I did it; a lot of people do it.

There is an important thing to understand about privacy though, and it is that the stuff you put out there to help you (by making you look cool, giving you a stage to stand on, and the like) can also come back to bite you.

It is important, especially while you're in your more self-focused, self-aggrandizing period of life (typically your teens and early-to-mid-twenties) to do everything with privacy in mind.

How to Change a Girl's Negative Perceptions of You

Cody Lyans's picture
fix bad first impression
If a girl screens you out before getting to know you, don't take it personally. It's not that difficult to change a girl's perception of you and turn things around.

Have you ever felt like a woman has judged you from one look and came to a conclusion that puts you out of the running forever? Well, it is no illusion. Women do screen men out like this, and if you go in blindly, your chances of turning things around are not very high.

There is a reliable way to turn your image around with a girl, however. What I'll share in this post can help you confidently get back on track.

First, let's go through why girls get negative images of you so you don't take it personally or hold it against women. When I first started picking up girls, they screened me out, thinking that I was unmanly, weak-willed, naïve, boring, and lame. Of course, I felt shocked that I was labeled this way and thought these girls were wrong.

It's important that we understand the reason women often screen so harshly: they despise men who promise results LATER.

Anyone can promise they'll be worthwhile to a girl at some later point, after some rapport is built or whatever. If a woman gives in to this reasoning, your true character and intentions will remain hidden until the time you reveal them. She risks being played and getting emotionally hurt. No girl is so weak that she will let anybody hurt her just because he says he won't, and needs some help to get started. Women screen to see your agenda NOW. They want to know if you can DELIVER on command or not.

If you are unwilling to show your agenda or character in the now, it's because you are ashamed of it. If you are not able to deliver on command, you have no business making them.

So, from a woman's point of view, this is the most basic screening behavior. She assures herself that men GIVE her a benefit now and that they REVEAL how they feel about themselves and their actions. It lets her deal only with men she knows have something to offer.

Now, you can rage against the mating-game here and say it's unfair, but look at how trivial of a test this is. It does not determine much about you; it is actually very open (unless you failed to pass it). Her image of you can also be changed if you know how. So it is like raging at a parking meter. There are bigger issues to worry about — issues that are actually in your control.

A bit of understanding can go a long way. As with many things, the first step is to accept reality, then develop a game plan to adapt and conquer.

Here's my experience and advice for managing your image with girls in the long term.