Relationship 101

Every man on this site – readers, writers, designers, dabblers, and characters of all kind – endeavors to bring at least one woman into his life. That is the whole point of improving your skills with women.

And as you keep improving yourself, every once in a while, believe it or not, you will actually succeed in getting a woman. Not only will you succeed in asking her out on a date and in bringing her back to your place just to run off at the last second, you will actually be in the position to have penetrative sex with her.

And sometimes, when you are in such a position, you start getting into your own head about whether or not you will be able to please her. You start thinking about the positions you know, your penis size, how horny you are in that particular moment, how attractive she is, and how long you generally last during a session of sex.

And, in some cases, you will have some great sex, she will be really satisfied, and you will both move on with your lives. But what about the other cases? One of two scenarios happen:

1. You let your worries and concerns infiltrate your mind and affect your performance. And as these thoughts continue to insidiously seep in to your performance, you prematurely ejaculate

   or

2. You go all in. You give her a sexual experience that she is not likely to forget anytime soon. You expend all of your energy and pull everything out of your bag of tricks. And, after plopping down on the bed/couch/floor after all is said and done, she says: “That was amazing! Let’s do it again!” and the prospect of even having to get hard again daunts and exhausts you.

In either scenario, you are in a position where you still need to please her. So the question is: how do you please a woman in the first place? And if you succeed at that, how do you do it again?

That is what this post is dedicated to today. I can only hope that by the end of it you will find its contents to be... pleasing.

Since my last article on the rebellious mind dealt with the concepts of uncertainty and unknowableness – topics which are always uncomfortable for us since human beings tend to be “truth seekers” who want a final answer (hence: science, religion, philosophy, etc.) – I figured I’d delve into a topic normally cloaked in unknowableness today too.

Specifically, I want to talk about the conflicts of interest inherent in romance and seduction, some of which are effectively irresolvable.

There are many simpler aspects of meeting and having relationships with women that are resolvable, such as:

• How to ask a girl out
• How to text a girl
• How to get a date
• How to sleep with girls
• How to begin a relationship
• How to manage your relationship

These all fall into tactical, operational, or, in the case of the last three (or a particularly tricky situation on the first three), some degree of strategic.

However, there are problems in romance that are unresolvable because you and the girl simply have end objectives that are too different, or even in active opposition.

These occur at the romance equivalent of “high strategy”, and if yours and hers are diametrically opposed, then one of you must submit his wants to the other’s wants, or the relationship will fail.

I suppose I should caveat then that these are normally unresolvable conflicts of interest – from time to time, one of you may cave to the other and give in to that other’s desire for where the relationship goes (or where it doesn’t go), but unless one party abandons what is in his or her best interests, these conflicts do not resolve in any way other than you and her going your separate ways and meeting other people.

Unless you hack your way around them, which we’ll also talk about (a little later), rather than address them head on again and again and again like what most people try and fail to do.

In your lifetime you will have many experiences. Some will be frustrating. Some will be triumphant. Some will be painful. Some will be easily forgotten.

But there are some experiences that everyone remembers. For many people in the West, for example, one of those experiences is their first car. Whenever you asked someone in the West about their first car they get this very wondrous and nostalgic look in their eyes. And you can tell that a wonderful story is about to unfold.

But for all people, one experience that people will never forget no matter what is the time they lost their virginity. Regardless if it was awkward, lackluster, or incredible, this experience will always leave an indelible mark on the storyline of every person’s life. And it will always be something they can readily account without a moment’s hesitation.

But what if you haven’t had this experience yet? What if you’ve been wondering what it would be like to cross this threshold, this rite of passage, and feel for yourself what all people have engaged in for ages past? What if you don’t know how to have sex?

The thought probably makes you feel excited. It probably makes you feel nervous. And it probably fills you with the pressure of feeling like you have to do it at the right time, in the right place, and with the right person.

So how do you know when the time is right for you? And when you do decide, how do you go about actually doing it? That’s the topic I’ll be covering today. I’m going to talk about what factors should influence your decision to have sex the first time and how to go about having sex when you’re new and a bit unsure.

The uncertainty can definitely be a little nerve-racking, but just know that you’re not alone in feeling that way.

I’ve been exposed to relationships of all lengths, types, and sizes throughout my years on this earth. And through close observation, I’ve noticed that, although people think that their relationship is singularly unique, that is almost never the case. In fact, I may go as far as to say that that’s never the case.

Whenever I see a dysfunctional relationship, I pretty much see the same symptoms that I see and will see in every other dysfunctional relationship. And the same goes for the healthy relationships I see as well. So if you find yourself in a relationship, or even thinking about being in one, then let me give you a few tips about certain features I’ve noticed that every healthy relationship has.

In a nutshell, I believe that most relationships don’t have a strong enough trajectory of improvement. The partners in the relationships simply aren’t invested enough in growing the dynamic to be deeper and richer. They do so to a point, and then kind of let the relationship plateau, until someone inevitably becomes dissatisfied.

And because of this fact, I believe that most people are in relationships that aren’t right for them. This is a particularly troublesome problem in the West, where emotional intelligence is at an all-time low. People simply don’t invest enough time in understanding themselves and how they react and interact with other people, and, in turn, they don’t understand how to delve deep into the perspectives of other people.

So today I want to talk about how people and relationships can move toward having healthier and happier dynamics, because a truly fulfilling relationship can transform the way you live your life. However, most people just don’t know how to go about running that kind of relationship.

So without further ado…

I covered one side of the "your responsibilities in your relationship" spectrum in "A Failed Relationship is a Failure of Leadership."

Now let’s talk about the other side.

I see a lot of men busting their behinds to keep their girlfriends happy, entranced, and entertained, to the point where they seem to be treating their relationships like a full time job – in addition to whatever else they do during the day when they’re not with their girlfriends.

These men are all too aware that keeping their woman happy and their relationship strong is their responsibility, yet they go about doing it in taxing and inefficient ways.

In fact, some of the men who pour gargantuan amounts of energy into keeping their women happy still fail the leadership test, because leading your relationship is not about immersing your partner in non-stop stimulation to keep her distracted, sated, and engaged.

And if you are doing this, you are doing it wrong – not to mention needlessly expending barrels of energy you could be using for something more productive than trying to win over a girlfriend again and again who probably would respect you more if you didn’t.

Over the last few weeks we’ve covered “The 7 Greatest Things about Cougars” and “How to Have Sex with a Cougar”. These two posts covered why cougars can be so alluring, why it can be fantastic to be able to get sexually involved with them (as if you didn’t already know that), and how to go about actually getting one in bed.

So suppose you followed the methodology of the last two posts. You’ve come to understand the mindset of the cougar; you’ve come to understand what her circumstances and what her expectations are; and you followed the process of either meeting her in person or online and managed to take her to bed. And let’s say now you have put yourself in the situation where you have an established sexual relationship with the cougar.

How do you go about maintaining consistent and positive rapport with her? That is what I want to talk about today: the six rules of cougar dating.

We all know that Girls Chase is a great resource for learning how to bring a little more loving into your love life, and I believe it’s important to be prepared for all the success you’ll soon be having, and not just in your love life, but in all of the things you set out to learn. And just as poor people who win the lottery quickly lose their winnings, guys who suddenly find their hard work paying off with women are still vulnerable to certain subtle traps.

As one of the few guys in this corner of the internet who have avoided all manner of negative outcomes and heartbreak – as a result of my thinking about all this and figuring out what I wanted ahead of time – I consider myself in an excellent position to share with you what kind of mindset will be most useful to you when you begin to improve yourself and see more results with the opposite sex.

As we have mentioned many times – or as you have either learned from experience, or will at some point in your journey – drama sucks.

There are some people who enjoy drama, for reasons I would be happy to talk about in the forums, but this article is for people whose idea of a good time consists of simply enjoying your time with women and exchanging laughs and positive feelings. This article is for the guys who understand that their own happiness matters more than wasting time engaging with pettiness.

Fortunately, any guy can easily learn how to keep drama at an appropriate distance, which is to say, far away from himself and his life! There are many ways to do this, ways that I’ll briefly recap before giving you the golden ticket to a drama-free life with many lovers. Yes, such a key exists, and while it may be simple, it is not easy.

But guys who desire happiness badly enough will go to the lengths necessary to attain such freedom!