Men Style

What does it take to be a gentleman who attracts women? Present yourself well, be respectful, and fulfill her need to be ravaged in the bedroom.

Every good student aims to follow in the footsteps of his mentors. I, therefore, dedicate this article to Chase Amante. It’s my pleasure to stand on the shoulders of a giant and offer my thoughts on what I’ve learned from him about being a gentleman.

In his article on how to be a gentleman, Chase’s main premise is that you can be respectful and treat women well but still bed them quickly. I want to take that a step further and go into detail about how you can be a dirty MF – while also being a gentleman.

Let’s start with threads.

Welcome back to another episode of Dating Mechanics! I’m Varoon Rajah, and today we explore a topic that frequently comes up on the Girls Chase boards – the question of dating your dream girl as a minority.

Does your personality determine which types of girls you do best with? Which girls go for what, and what can you do to get the type of girls you want?

Almost every personality type can get girls. Some personalities are more naturally inclined to extroversion and socialization, so they tend to do better than more introverted personalities, but there is also strength in subtlety and grace.

The questions you need to ask yourself when considering who to become are these:

• What kind of girls do I want?

• How many girls do I want?

Each personality does well with specific other personalities – usually those that are similar.

As Chase has gone over extensively in One Date and The Dating Artisan (the best dating products on Earth), similarity is one third of what gets a girl into bed (arousal and compliance being the other two).

Note that as I describe these personality traits and women who gravitate towards them, there are always outliers and exceptions. I’ll be speaking in the general sense. In other words, this is how things usually play out, meaning that certain personality types will have “better” chances with particular girl types. I’m not taking the luck factor into account or guys with good enough game to overcome general trends.

For example, if you lean towards introversion, you will be better suited to a certain type of girl. You will do best with shy, less-attractive women. Extroverted guys will also be good with these women if they can lower their guard, but more often than not, these girls tend to gravitate towards introverted guys.

To most guys, of course, they’re not the most desirable of women. If you are an introvert but have great fundamentals, then you can land super-ambitious businesswomen who are fawned over by CEOs and business tycoons. These men are usually extroverts, but there are far more extroverts who are wild party guys than there are extroverted businessmen. The women in question like the extroversion of the party guy but not his comparatively carefree life. He’s not a serious prospect for a girl whose reputation is everything to her and her business.

Of course, there might be an artist who’s amazing with women and will absolutely kill it with ambitious girls, but they will probably gravitate towards a more serious type of guy. These are generalizations for the sake of painting a clear dichotomy, but personality differences reach far beyond the basic dichotomy of extroverted versus introverted.

As I’ve written in my article on girls and their types, you need to be what they want, and sometimes that can be complicated. Despite having a lot of similar features, we are vastly complex beings.

Everyone goes through dry spells. Whether they last weeks, months, or even years, there is a way back. It all comes down to the process and positive momentum.

Hey there, welcome back.

Ever had a good streak, then nosedived and felt your mojo is gone? Maybe you have been away from the game for a while and want to get back into it.

Today, I will discuss some more lifestyle-related subjects. I just came out of a rough period and wanted to share some of the tools, tips, and tricks that I used to get back on it.

Think of an athlete who gets ill or hurts themselves. The recovery process is hard and complex – and happens to be an important field of study.

I have talked about momentum – both from a micro and macro perspective – many times in the past. If you’re interested, you should check out these articles. 

• Going Out Momentum: Hot Streaks and Cold Streaks

• How to Ramp Up Social Momentum (and Meet Loads of Girls)

• Sexual Dry Spells, Negative Momentum, and the Big Picture

• Warm Up with Physical Momentum and Get Laid Easier

We will now cover the field of macro-momentum – i.e., how to recover from a total crash after experiencing hard times such as break-ups, illness, depression, or just time away from meeting women. The subject of this post is all about getting back in the game.

First, I will tell you all about the extremely interesting couple of months I’ve had. Feel free to skip the “Recent Events” section if you want to get straight to the guide.

In the realm of seduction, chaos is a certainty. There’s no way around it. But if you embrace it and go with the flow, you might find a way through.

I love this book series called “Introducing...”.

It covers many subjects, from Freud to sociology to Islam. The copy I own is on chaos theory.

Your first introduction to the concept may have been via Jeff Goldblum’s character in Jurassic Park. Chaos theory is a branch of mathematics that deals with complex systems, the behavior of which are highly sensitive to slight changes in conditions. Small alterations can give rise to strikingly great consequences – otherwise known as the butterfly effect.

What blew my mind is that this branch of study is, in essence, a scientific validation of Eastern philosophy and religion, namely Buddhism, Hinduism, and Tao. Moreover, it all applies to seduction and how we can sort out the chaos, the flakes, the rejections, and the random insanity of the game.

For years, I’ve been arguing with “normies” about how science is essentially a modern religion, with its own set of dogmas. Claims to find “the truth” from irrefutable empirical evidence often fail to explain the seemingly random manifestations of chaos in linear, deterministic systems. 

Like, why did that hilarious joke you copy-pasted piss her off rather than attract her? It was part of the system. It should have worked but it had the opposite of its intended effect.

For example, even with all our modern scientific equipment, we still can’t accurately predict the weather or the ups and downs of animal populations. There’s no way to mathematically account for disease, war, famine, or the avalanche set off by a single snowflake. Not accurately enough to forgo wearing a jacket, anyway.

Great Man Theory states that men with outsize power can have outsize impacts on society and history. Does this theory have legs – or is it all illusion?

Early this year, Science Daily (a website I like) claimed a new study on spiders 'debunked' the "19th-century notion that highly influential individuals use their power" to shape history. This theory these spiders had debunked was Great Man Theory.

I'd heard of Great Man Theory a few times over the years. I never gave it much thought. However the Science Daily article piqued my interest. If there is one thing the media has taught me (and the media has taught me many things), it is that the word 'debunked' usually signals something is, by contrast, actually worth looking into.

If you want a common man to dismiss something as obviously wrong, just tell him it's been debunked. Then he will know - devote thought to this, and your membership in the world of good thinkers is gravely imperiled. Abandon these lines of inquiry now... lest you be tossed into the 'gullible idiots box' and excluded forever from the society of the educated and informed.

Of course, if you are a contrarian - as I am - these veiled warnings that a thing is intellectually off limits only interest you in it more. They make you want to investigate a thing. To learn all about it, as well as its counterclaims.

This new interest in Great Man Theory led me down a rabbit hole that, in only a short time, changed my thinking on a profound, important topic that affects the way a man views his place in the world.

Most experienced guys will agree that relationship sex is better than casual hookups. But that’s not to say you should limit yourself to one or the other.

I’ve read and heard many, many, many times that sex in a relationship is better than casual sex.

You’ll see it said in most media – be it television, movies, books, or on social feeds – that being a player and having lots of casual sex is empty and unfulfilling.

While there is some truth to this sentiment, I want to dispel some of the negative connotations surrounding casual sex.

Firstly, realize some possible motivations behind the negativity.

If a man says that casual sex is empty and relationship sex is fulfilling, he will usually fall under one of a few categories.

He is most likely a guy who doesn’t get laid a lot, is envious of those who do, and tries to shame them. To dissuade other men from banging lots of girls, he will advise against casual sex. He will poison the lifestyle with claims that it robs you of meaningful connections and is a waste of time. He’ll say that you shouldn’t disrespect women by seeing them as sex objects.

This guy is wrong for reasons you already are aware of – the pursuit of women is a worthy one. There are higher goals than chasing pussy, but it’s something almost every man needs to learn, at least to a degree.

There are also women who aren’t that competitive in the dating market, so they look to undermine men – either consciously or unconsciously – from pursuing other women during their sexual adventures. Ironically, this crusade against casual sex rarely stops the protesting women themselves from engaging in it.

Occasionally, you’ll hear this from a conservative, high-value girl, but it’s usually her reacting to a specific conversation rather than going out of her way to denounce casual sex. And don’t forget about the girl who just got pumped and screwed by some guy – she’s going to cry about casual sex being lame, but the real issue is she’s mad that the guy she gave it up for didn’t want more.

Men who are experienced but not expressing themselves clearly or are currently in a down state might also criticize the player lifestyle. It generally doesn’t come from a bad place and is usually the most informative of the “casual sex is inferior to relationship sex” arguments, but one should take pause when reading or listening to such criticism.

There is an important nuance when considering whether casual hookups are inferior to relationship sex.