Men Style

Gorgeous women are harangued by clueless, needy guys since the day they blossom. That’s why they bolt at the first sign of neediness… and chase the men who “get it.”

Every woman has an ex-boyfriend who lost his mind.

The media is ripe with crimes of passion, where men transform from lovers to stalkers, or from loyal boyfriends to controlling, jealous, domineering abusers.

They ruin it for all of us.

I used to be a very needy, weak man. Wet toast. Not the alpha-god of charisma that I am today. Even though I was incredibly insecure in grade 7, I still managed to score my first “girlfriend.” It lasted a whole week!

Her name was Despi. A beautiful, rich, Greek girl from another school. Being an introverted kid, I was shocked that she wanted me to call her. A girl likes… me?

“Despi likes Tony!?” they cried. It was my induction into the upper echelons of popularity, social proofed by a girl I didn’t even know yet. Suddenly, kids invited me to parties, sports games, and sleepovers. I was part of a different game now. An adult game without a rule book.

The first night of our short affair, I sat by the telephone, petrified, but I mustered the courage to call her. It went fine, and we agreed to go to a movie. Some nineties romantic comedy.

At the film, I sat there in a state of confusion, pumped with dopamine and adrenaline, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. I wanted to hold her hand. Can you do that? Just pick it up? Squeeze it and play with its softness? Does she like Metallica? Nintendo? Should I ask?

We didn’t meet again after that.

Fast-forward to grade 8.

How do you become magnetic? The kind of guy who DRAWS attention to him, even when he's not currently doing anything.

He has... PRESENCE.

It feels like the air is different. The lighting.

He has a physical effect on the environment around him. How else can it be described?

Well, I can TEACH you how to become magnetic.

Watch.

Flow state is when you feel natural, and whatever it is you’re doing just works and is enjoyable. But how do you find it, especially when it comes to attracting women?

You’ve probably seen an advanced seducer in action before and didn’t even realize it.

That’s the beauty of advanced game – it doesn’t look or feel like “game” in any sense. It’s more a way of expressing yourself so purely and subtly that the girl you approach doesn’t feel any discomfort or ulterior motive. It doesn’t cause bystanders to take notice (unless you want it to) and the whole interaction feels “normal.”

A woman who experiences a man with amazing game will likely describe him as “fun” or “interesting,” whereas a guy who lacks skill won’t even make an imprint on her.

Advanced game is almost an oxymoron because it’s a state of “normalcy.” Where a beginner will go out with the intent to meet women, the advanced man just is. He’s become what he’s wanted to be for years – a healthy, libidinous male with mesmerizing social skills.

He is one who’s not willing to passively wait for chance. He presses the game of odds by spinning the wheel – as often as necessary – until he wins or goes bust.

But to the girl, even though he’s “normal,” there’s also something special about this guy. He’s different somehow. But what is it that makes him different? From her perspective, it’s like watching two different movies. One is a B-movie with bad actors and poor writing.

You know you’re watching a bad movie because the poor performances dismantle your suspension of disbelief. You might still watch the film for entertainment’s sake, but these are actors, the ghosts aren’t real, and the sets are CGI. When you watch an A-grade actor in an Oscar-worthy performance, you’re whisked away to another world.

It’s the difference between Jurassic Park 5 and Lord of the Rings. One movie has you laughing rather than crying as a T-Rex chomps the lead character to bits – the other has you in tears of sorrow for the loss of Gandalf to the Balrog. It’s your emotional investment in a situation that feels more real than real life.

A girl who experiences a great seducer won’t text her friends “Some guy just approached me,” but rather “I just met this guy, wow!” It’s as if she just met Brad Pitt. He comes across as an A-lister rather than a cartoon character or an NPC in a video game.

When we jump the gun and learn specialized aspects of a new skill before getting a solid foundation, the skill can become imbalanced and riddled with holes.

I recently took a short hiatus from seduction to reflect upon its deeper nature.

During that time, I got into boxing, and I have been observing seduction in as much detail as I can to try to reach a new level of understanding. In doing so, I’ve realized something about getting good with women – or anything, for that matter. It relates to how and where we apply our effort and how to get the best possible results without wasting time and energy.

With boxing, I have spent the past year ensuring that every aspect of what I do inside the ring is 100% technically accurate. If I discovered a single flaw, I used drills, exercise, and good old-fashioned hard work to fix it. I lost weight, removed the rust I had accumulated, and changed my foundation as a boxer from head to toe. I worked on my footwork, guard, head movement, hand speed, jab, combinations, counters, and overall conditioning.

It was tough, but I’ve started turning heads as my technical skill has become more apparent. I am entering a new phase where technical ability is non-negotiable. I am capable of all the things that make a decent boxer. However, I realize this is not the end of the road.

To progress further, I have had to let go of ideas of what might be good enough to beat most fighters and start thinking about what is good enough to win against a specific opponent. I’ve made the shift from “good enough” to genuinely commanding my fate.

This is something that is true in seduction as well. At first, we must gain enough ability that it is no longer a case of if we can get a girl, but when. We do so by acquiring universal strengths, traits, and attributes that help us achieve that level of confidence.

After this goal is attained, we then face a tough period where we question what we want, and on the other side of that soul searching is a whole new phase of learning.

If you make a woman laugh, she’s guaranteed to sleep with you… NOT! Lolz, but seriously, you can definitely spark attraction if you know how to be funny.

A few years ago, I wrote a novel that has become a bit of a cult classic.

Most people (especially women) say they read it in one sitting and are unable to put the book down because it’s so hilarious. I also wrote a comedic, pornographic satire called Kuntar The Barbarian. I consider myself a bit of an expert at humor.

Don’t believe me? Pull my finger, bitch.

So many guys have no clue how to make a girl laugh. Are some men just born funny, or is it something you can cultivate? Both, just like any skill.

Now, before we get too far, I want to make it clear that laughter is not all you need to attract women. Humor is a solid tool in the seduction arsenal, because everyone loves to laugh. It’s definitely attractive. But if that’s all you do, you won’t be so great at sparking the kind of attraction that gets you laid. In fact, humor can sometimes work against you. The guys who seem to get laid by being hilarious are doing other things that aren’t so easy to see.

That said, humor is a super valuable social skill, and a great seduction tool if used right. So let’s learn how to be funny.

Right now, you're reading an article on a screen. Its text reaches you through your eyes. Or perhaps you have a text-to-speech app on your phone to read this article to you, and the words trickle into your ears. All the media you consume is visual or auditory. Columns, articles, videos, forums: it is all via eyes and ears.

You work a job, more likely than not, which consists principally of visual and auditory tasks. Type things into a computer. Receive verbal orders from customers. Communicate expenses to accounting. You speak, you listen, and you see.

When you order take out food, it's audio and visual. You don't grasp the food before you order it; you don't touch the clerk who takes your order. When you go to the café, audio and visual. When you head to the DMV, audio and visual. When you spend a few hours at the cinema, audio and visual. When you get beers with your buddies, unless you're all quite chummy it's audio and visual.

That our lives are so audio-visual is probably due to life in an urbanized society. Touch, as a sense, does not scale well. I can write this article, and you and fifteen thousand other men can read it. I cannot come to where you are, walk up to you, and turn your head to point it at every audio/visual item or technology you have around you, or place those items into your hands. It's simply not doable. Audio and visual communication, on the other hand, scales.

Yet despite the advantages of scale, our digitized, atomized society also makes it harder for people to truly connect.

That's because people are not just auditory, visual creatures.

We are, very much, tactile beings, too.

To get laid in a competitive dating market, you need an alluring pitch. You gotta know the customer and present yourself well to gain an edge and close the deal.

You need to market well, but marketing is only attention. Once you get attention, you have to make the sale. I follow this process with women and with Girls Chase.

With Girls Chase, I write articles. I post on Instagram and YouTube. This is all marketing.

Then, over email, phone calls, texting, and Instagram, I sell my private coaching and my book, which will soon be a standalone product, but is an upsell for One Date right now. I had to learn (and am still learning) both sides of the equation.

Marketing is about presenting yourself in a way that’s intriguing and different to people, as the market is very saturated. It’s also about being clear, honest, and entertaining. If people get bored reading or watching you, you won’t sell. If people don’t think what you have to say is new or unique, you won’t sell.

It’s the same when talking to a girl. If your first impression isn’t strong and there’s no external reason for her to give you more attention (e.g., you’re in her social circle), then she will bow out and click on some other video on the sidebar (i.e., another guy at the bar, party, or club).

Sales is taking someone who is in your marketing funnel and converting them into a customer. Someone who clicks “buy” and enters their information. It’s almost as intimate as someone deciding to sleep with you. Almost.

They have to want it but also feel it’s worth the cost. Is it worth shelling out $70 for Hector’s college book? Is it worth spending $2,000 on his coaching?

My frame is, “Yes, it is. It’s worth even more than that, so get it now while it’s this affordable.” The stronger my frame becomes, the better I am at selling and marketing. If you believe in your product, people will believe in it, too.

Some choose to market with deception. They skew who they are. There’s nothing wrong with poetic exaggeration. Every good story is embellished. But if your only strategy is clickbait and false promises, you will eventually be revealed for the fraud you are.

This often happens when you’re good but not great with women. Women will like you and sleep with you. But after spending time with you, the glitches in your character are revealed. This is fine – if you dedicate yourself to improving your product. You.

The product is you.