Men Style

When we jump the gun and learn specialized aspects of a new skill before getting a solid foundation, the skill can become imbalanced and riddled with holes.

I recently took a short hiatus from seduction to reflect upon its deeper nature.

During that time, I got into boxing, and I have been observing seduction in as much detail as I can to try to reach a new level of understanding. In doing so, I’ve realized something about getting good with women – or anything, for that matter. It relates to how and where we apply our effort and how to get the best possible results without wasting time and energy.

With boxing, I have spent the past year ensuring that every aspect of what I do inside the ring is 100% technically accurate. If I discovered a single flaw, I used drills, exercise, and good old-fashioned hard work to fix it. I lost weight, removed the rust I had accumulated, and changed my foundation as a boxer from head to toe. I worked on my footwork, guard, head movement, hand speed, jab, combinations, counters, and overall conditioning.

It was tough, but I’ve started turning heads as my technical skill has become more apparent. I am entering a new phase where technical ability is non-negotiable. I am capable of all the things that make a decent boxer. However, I realize this is not the end of the road.

To progress further, I have had to let go of ideas of what might be good enough to beat most fighters and start thinking about what is good enough to win against a specific opponent. I’ve made the shift from “good enough” to genuinely commanding my fate.

This is something that is true in seduction as well. At first, we must gain enough ability that it is no longer a case of if we can get a girl, but when. We do so by acquiring universal strengths, traits, and attributes that help us achieve that level of confidence.

After this goal is attained, we then face a tough period where we question what we want, and on the other side of that soul searching is a whole new phase of learning.

If you make a woman laugh, she’s guaranteed to sleep with you… NOT! Lolz, but seriously, you can definitely spark attraction if you know how to be funny.

A few years ago, I wrote a novel that has become a bit of a cult classic.

Most people (especially women) say they read it in one sitting and are unable to put the book down because it’s so hilarious. I also wrote a comedic, pornographic satire called Kuntar The Barbarian. I consider myself a bit of an expert at humor.

Don’t believe me? Pull my finger, bitch.

So many guys have no clue how to make a girl laugh. Are some men just born funny, or is it something you can cultivate? Both, just like any skill.

Now, before we get too far, I want to make it clear that laughter is not all you need to attract women. Humor is a solid tool in the seduction arsenal, because everyone loves to laugh. It’s definitely attractive. But if that’s all you do, you won’t be so great at sparking the kind of attraction that gets you laid. In fact, humor can sometimes work against you. The guys who seem to get laid by being hilarious are doing other things that aren’t so easy to see.

That said, humor is a super valuable social skill, and a great seduction tool if used right. So let’s learn how to be funny.

Right now, you're reading an article on a screen. Its text reaches you through your eyes. Or perhaps you have a text-to-speech app on your phone to read this article to you, and the words trickle into your ears. All the media you consume is visual or auditory. Columns, articles, videos, forums: it is all via eyes and ears.

You work a job, more likely than not, which consists principally of visual and auditory tasks. Type things into a computer. Receive verbal orders from customers. Communicate expenses to accounting. You speak, you listen, and you see.

When you order take out food, it's audio and visual. You don't grasp the food before you order it; you don't touch the clerk who takes your order. When you go to the café, audio and visual. When you head to the DMV, audio and visual. When you spend a few hours at the cinema, audio and visual. When you get beers with your buddies, unless you're all quite chummy it's audio and visual.

That our lives are so audio-visual is probably due to life in an urbanized society. Touch, as a sense, does not scale well. I can write this article, and you and fifteen thousand other men can read it. I cannot come to where you are, walk up to you, and turn your head to point it at every audio/visual item or technology you have around you, or place those items into your hands. It's simply not doable. Audio and visual communication, on the other hand, scales.

Yet despite the advantages of scale, our digitized, atomized society also makes it harder for people to truly connect.

That's because people are not just auditory, visual creatures.

We are, very much, tactile beings, too.

To get laid in a competitive dating market, you need an alluring pitch. You gotta know the customer and present yourself well to gain an edge and close the deal.

You need to market well, but marketing is only attention. Once you get attention, you have to make the sale. I follow this process with women and with Girls Chase.

With Girls Chase, I write articles. I post on Instagram and YouTube. This is all marketing.

Then, over email, phone calls, texting, and Instagram, I sell my private coaching and my book, which will soon be a standalone product, but is an upsell for One Date right now. I had to learn (and am still learning) both sides of the equation.

Marketing is about presenting yourself in a way that’s intriguing and different to people, as the market is very saturated. It’s also about being clear, honest, and entertaining. If people get bored reading or watching you, you won’t sell. If people don’t think what you have to say is new or unique, you won’t sell.

It’s the same when talking to a girl. If your first impression isn’t strong and there’s no external reason for her to give you more attention (e.g., you’re in her social circle), then she will bow out and click on some other video on the sidebar (i.e., another guy at the bar, party, or club).

Sales is taking someone who is in your marketing funnel and converting them into a customer. Someone who clicks “buy” and enters their information. It’s almost as intimate as someone deciding to sleep with you. Almost.

They have to want it but also feel it’s worth the cost. Is it worth shelling out $70 for Hector’s college book? Is it worth spending $2,000 on his coaching?

My frame is, “Yes, it is. It’s worth even more than that, so get it now while it’s this affordable.” The stronger my frame becomes, the better I am at selling and marketing. If you believe in your product, people will believe in it, too.

Some choose to market with deception. They skew who they are. There’s nothing wrong with poetic exaggeration. Every good story is embellished. But if your only strategy is clickbait and false promises, you will eventually be revealed for the fraud you are.

This often happens when you’re good but not great with women. Women will like you and sleep with you. But after spending time with you, the glitches in your character are revealed. This is fine – if you dedicate yourself to improving your product. You.

The product is you.

You want her, but you don’t think you’re good enough. Well, you’re probably right. But there is a solution! It’s not quick. But it’s doable, and it will work.

“Why am I not good enough?” you ask?

You aren’t good enough, that’s for sure. And the “why” part is easy. Not sure if you expected that answer. Welcome to Girls Chase.

I’m not here to tell you that you’re good enough. That you’re fine the way you are. That would be a lie. It might make you feel good for a few seconds, even a few minutes. Tomorrow, you might remember it. By the end of the week, you’ll have forgotten it. You’ll scroll through Instagram and see some gorgeous girl pop up on your feed. Maybe you know her. Maybe you don’t.

What is true is that she’s not your girl. You’ve never kissed her. You’ve never made her wet. You’ve never been inside her. Hell, you’ve probably never even been on her mind for longer than the brief moment your image passed through her focus.

Then, like a bubble, you disappeared. Have you been with a girl of her caliber? Have you been with any girl? Depending on your answer, the thought of “I’m not good enough” and the question of “Why am I not good enough?” will receive this response from the universe:

“No, you’re not. Because you suck.”

If reading that pisses you off, stop reading now.

Practically anyone can go from sexless to seduction mastery if they do what it takes. But what does it take? Be ready for a long journey… but one that’s worth it.

One fateful day, I was sitting with a few roommates in my living room, staring bovine-like at the dull, hypnotic glow of the television. A news program came on about pickup artists. A coach was taking a group of awkward men around to various bars and parks, forcing them to approach women. The coach said that any man, no matter who he is, can learn to seduce women with skill.

What Does It Take to Master Pickup?

I ran to my room and googled “pickup artist” while the rest of my roommates picked at their teeth and turned on the PlayStation.

I discovered a whole community that existed in forums, where people discussed PUA philosophies. I read dozens of books like Mystery Method and Double Your Dating. I watched hours of video like The Annihilation Method by Style and so many others. I felt like Harry Potter when he finally realized he didn’t have to live as a muggle anymore – there was a land where magic was real, and with that magic, he could finally get a smoking hot, little pixie to do his sexual bidding. And so, I immediately… did nothing at all.

It took me a year of studying before I decided “enough” and moved to Montreal for the sole purpose of becoming an expert in pickup. Not because I wanted to start a business or impress people on YouTube. Because I wanted to date beautiful women. I didn’t just want to be good at it – I wanted to master it. I wanted to be a Jedi with women.

I went out seven days and nights a week for almost two years. And boy, did I suck at it. It was the hardest but one of the most critical things I ever did, and I don’t regret one tiny bit of that journey – except for that time I caught molluscum from a handjob.

My first night alone at a bar in romantic Montreal. I stood there in that crowded room, surrounded by beautiful people having fun – and pretended to be on my phone.

Yeah, I’m just waiting for my friends. That’s it. Don’t look at me.

Then, after a few more failed nights of inaction, I actually tried approaching girls. Most of them ignored me or were outright annoyed. Some held up their hands, ushering me away. Others just pretended they couldn’t hear me. It was terrible.

A few weeks later, I started getting better reactions and even a few phone numbers. Then, on my 90th night out, I finally got laid.

Sometimes the party ends too soon… the booze ran dry, the music stopped, the cops were called, or the darkness gobbled you up and swallowed you whole.

Pleasure is beautiful. It fills us with rapture and excitement. Even the prospect of pleasure imbues us with energy. We want to feel.

Pleasure wasn’t demonized by the Buddha, only the attachment to it, which is why he recommended the pleasures that come from meditation instead. Jhanas (meditative states) don’t have a double-edged structure like the pleasures of the flesh and mind do – yes, thinking and day-dreaming are in the same category as bodily pleasures, at least with respect to their addictive qualities.

They come and go, but they’re propped up on nothing but concentration and discernment. When they go, they don’t crash. Pleasures of the mind and flesh, however, can bring crashes – minor and grand.

Too many drinks can turn into a fight, a car accident, or drowning in your own vomit. Too much sex can turn into an unwanted pregnancy, a disease, or a hurtful situation (e.g., ruining a relationship). Too many hard drugs can kill you by their own hand or tempt you into taking yourself out of the game.

Every action has consequences. Many times, you will be safe, but it only takes one situation to end it all. What I want to do with this article is open your mind to the dark side of hedonism. There is a light side, and it is beautiful, but that part is easy to see. The hard part is facing the darkness and still smiling.