Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase
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Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Do Girls Always Know Your Intentions?

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By: Alek Rolstad

do girls know your intentions?Caption

Hey and welcome back.

After finishing my latest series on indirect game, I’ve decided to make a few more posts covering aspects of the topic that did not make it into my series or respond to questions and comments that I have seen in the comment sections.

Today I want to debunk the idea that women are always aware of your intentions, as if they were ultra-intuitive super-computers.

This flawed argument is often used as a sort of counterargument to indirect game.

The argument goes as follows:

“What’s the point of going indirect, if she knows that you are hitting on her anyway?”

Followed up with:

“So, you might as well be direct about your intentions.”

I see this argument often, and every time I read it my eyes hurt.

There are false beliefs involved in this line of thinking.

I always wonder how this idea first appeared.

It seems to be a form of projection of male thinking onto women (yes, we are wired differently). And yet I have no clear idea where such notions came from.

What I can say is that this line of reasoning is wrong:

  • The first dimension is that "women can sense what your true intentions are – they can sense you are hitting on them". This is false, although there are some nuances

  • Even if we were to assume the above is indeed correct (or that elements of it may at times be true), then it is still not a reason for going direct

So, on both levels, the whole argument is flawed, and this line of thought can be safely thrown into the wastebasket.

This is what this post is about, debunking this line of thought by discussing these two dimensions.

Indirect Game, Pt 3.: Escalating the Vibe

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By: Alek Rolstad

indirect gameNow that you've gone in indirect, and increased her compliance, it's time to make a move and escalate the vibe.

Hey guys. And welcome back.

Today we will continue and bring to a close our series on indirect game.

Previously we discussed how to show interest the right way when using indirect game — When? How much? How? — while keeping your interest levels in her unknown or ambiguous (depending on your style) to make her curious, compliant, and eventually get her to start chasing you.

Then we discussed how to reinforce this method by using a reward and punish mechanism. Women are attention-craving, and whenever a woman acts compliant to you (for instance, by showing interest), you reward her with attention (for example, through escalation). If not, you punish her by cutting her source of validation (like ignoring her for a while).

Indirect game is a fantastic way of meeting and seducing women. It allows you to build compliance unbeknownst to the girl because of your ambiguous indirect stance. If being indirect fails to get her compliance, it can at least buy you time — since you do not force early rejections — to use other compliance-building techniques, like sex talk, to turn a less favorable situation around.

It is easy to overfocus hiding your interest in a girl to avoid feeding her attention-craving needs and keeping her compliance levels up. What usually happens is guys risk being too passive. Things don’t escalate, and nothing happens. This is a trap I fell into when I started out, and I know many fall into it.

Good indirect game is not the equivalent of being passive. At some point, you have to make a move, or it will all go to waste.

Today we will discuss the importance of escalating the vibe vibe and clarify what may seem like a contradiction: keeping your interest levels ambiguous (being “indirect”) while escalating the vibe (making a move, seemingly being “direct”).

We will also cover how indirect game helps you lay the groundwork for escalating the vibe and how indirect game can help you whenever she resists.

Indirect Game, Pt 2: Making Her COMPLY with You

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By: Alek Rolstad

indirect gameIndirect game's strength comes from its reliance on ambiguity… which ignites a woman's curiosity about you, the mysterious man she can't seem to faze.

Hey there, and welcome back.

Last week, after sharing why I do not believe in direct game, I started my indirect game series, discussing what it is and how it is run.

For our purposes, indirect game is a form of seduction where:

  1. The seducer keeps his level of interest ambiguous until the girl starts showing interest (usually starting the interaction showing her little to no interest)

  2. The level of interest (and disinterest) you show her is proportional to the girl and the circumstances

  3. The way you show interest remains ambiguous, providing you with flexibility

The idea is to calibrate your actions to the girl.

When mastered, indirect game leads to better meet-to-lay ratios (higher chances of you getting THAT girl as opposed to any girl after many approaches). This is because you calibrate things to the girl.

You maintain more control over the frame of the interaction, so she is more likely to chase you (if done right), giving you a higher chance of generating compliance, making it much easier for you to escalate the interaction toward sex.

Today I would like to discuss compliance a bit further.

Compliance is how willing she is to follow your lead. We can break it down into three categories:

  1. Her overall interest in you and her desire to act

  2. Her willingness to follow your lead

  3. The absence of resistance to the above

I’ll cover resistance in more detail next week when I talk about escalating the interaction to sex using indirect game. I’ll discuss how indirect game helps you avoid resistance and how to deal with it.

Today let’s focus on generating (and maintaining) compliance.

Indirect Game, Pt 1: Interesting Her, Indirectly

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By: Alek Rolstad

indirect gameBy not immediately showing your sexual interest in a girl, Indirect Game allows you to appear mysterious and get her to chase.

Hey there.

Having pointed out many problems with direct game in my previous two articles, today I begin a series about what I consider to be the solution: indirect game.

I have read the comments to my three last articles (the two on direct, and the one on men's power in the dating game). While I am happy to see that this subject has engaged our readers, the fact that some have felt triggered hasn’t escaped my attention.

I attempted to deal with the comments and criticism from my first post on direct game in part two. Then, Chase responded to other remarks in his last post on “similarity of interest.”

I mostly agree with everything Chase mentioned in his post. Our thoughts are aligned on this subject. I will discuss similar subjects here, but we will look at them from a different perspective. This post (and my upcoming posts on indirect game) will be supplementing Chase’s post, which I recommend reading if you decide to follow this series.

If you are curious about how to run indirect game, this article and the following posts are for you. If you are a direct gamer who is curious about how indirect game is run, this is for you as well.

These posts will not only be theoretical; they will also serve as a good strategic template on how to get girls smoothly. It’s an overall game-plan.

The Problem with Direct Game, Pt 2: Killing All the Intrigue

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By: Alek Rolstad

direct game problemsShe might've liked you. But go too direct, and you sap all the intrigue (and hence, the FUN for her) out of the seduction… right along with your chances.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week I discussed some widespread problems with direct game. We saw that by giving women too much attention, direct game over-validates them.

Whereas men seek validation through getting laid, women seek it through obtaining sexual attention – knowing they have managed to win a guy’s compliance.

When a guy is using direct game, he gives a woman exactly what she wants. And for this reason, the dating market can seem flawed and unfair – because women get what they want (mostly for free) from men, while men don’t.

Men can achieve balance when they are more careful in giving away the attention women crave so much.

Some of you may think giving women what they want will seduce them and make them compliant to you. Well, not so.

Consider the following:

  • Would you be more compliant to someone who had something you wanted and gave it away for free right away in abundance?

  • Or would you be more compliant to someone who had something you wanted and didn’t give it to you straight away, making you work for it?

The second scenario makes you most compliant. Since you have to work to get it, you are compliant to that person. That person will control the frame.

This is how seduction works, and this frame is acquired only through indirect and not direct game. Direct game is the former, and indirect game is the latter. And the primary resource women seek is attention.

The Problem with Direct Game, Pt 1: Does Direct Game Work?

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By: Alek Rolstad

direct gameDirect game (where you never conceal your interest in a girl) gets a good wrap in men's circles. Yet it never works nearly as well as its proponents advertise…

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week, I attempted to debunk the perceived inequality between the sexes and their power on the dating market. It is easy for men to perceive women as more powerful because they get more attention, and therefore are more in control.

After all, men chase women for sex; they can say “yes” or “no” to their requests. Demand is high when it comes to sex with beautiful women.

Although both men and women seek validation, male and female sex drives differ in the source of validation.

Men get validation through sex, and women receive it through attention—more precisely, sexual attention—knowing that men find them desirable.

Both can enjoy sex and desire sex equally on a PHYSICAL and even EMOTIONAL level.

However, men are not only led by their drive toward sexual satisfaction but by their ego—their feeling of power and attractiveness from “conquering” a woman through sex.

Hence, men have two motivations to seek sexual encounters:

  • Their sex drive, which they share with women

  • Their ego drive

Females get satisfaction by having someone desiring them, which does not involve a need to put out.

We know that “putting out” and having sex left and right with men can lead to social consequences for women. Women fear the slut label, so they have fewer incentives to put out.

What Power Men (Really) Have in the Dating Game

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By: Alek Rolstad

power in the dating gameWhat power do men have in dating? It may seem like women hold all the cards. Yet men have one special thing at their fingertips that women desperately crave…

Are men totally without power in the current dating game?

It could seem so to many.  Today I would like to discuss this subject while discussing what gives women that “power” and whether or not this ends up creating a skewed dating game.

Many of you will start seeing this article as some rant – but truth is, it is not. It will start of with the typical “the dating game is unfair” type of narrative – usually shared by the manosphere. However, I invite you to read the whole article, since I believe things are not as one-sided (and if you came here to get a confirmation for your flawed “the world is unfair” type of belief – you may leave disappointed).

As a matter of fact I will later in this article move on to discuss what power men actually have.

No, we are not talking about the typical “men have economical and political power” which is the argument most feminist would give.

Whether true or not (most likely some truth in it) is completely irrelevant to our discuss because whether there are more men making up the elite (political and economic) has very little impact on normal men’s dating lives.

In fact, when discussing the subject of equality (and inequalities) between the sexes, the subject is always surrounding political and economical power. Yet, we rarely see “legal” inequalities being discussed, most likely because the results of such discussion would be contrary to the current narrative (men are usually disfavoured in courts of law – especially in cases regarding parenting, etc.).

Although kind of relevant to pick up and seduction, political/economical/legal power will not be the subject of today's discussion, because it has little impact on actual dating strategies and the mating process.

Video Messaging Girls, Part 2: How to Video Message Her

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By: Alek Rolstad

video messagingHow do you send a woman video messages that draw her in and get a response? There's a science to it… and it includes what you weave into the message, as well as the tone.

Hey guys, and welcome to part 2 of my two-part series on video messaging.

You can read Part 1 (on why video messaging girls is so powerful) here.

This will be the final article that will cover some practical guidelines on how to deliver the best video message ever.

Last week I shared with you my backstory and my failures when it came to texting my way to a date. This curse was finally broken once I started sending video messages instead – I saw an immediate big change, with girls either responding right away or at least sending a video response back (higher investment from her end). All my video messaging has translated into dates.

Last week, we covered all the reasons why one should opt for video messaging instead of texting (if possible). Some of the main reasons we listed were the following:

  • Video messaging allows her to see you, your look, your vibe, your body language and so on. It also allows you to speak more freely, which is good if you are a verbose guy like me.  But the most important thing is that you get to remind her of who you are and how you made her feel – triggering anchors that may put her back into the mood she was in when she initially met you. Very important.

  • It allows you to catch her attention when you are competing with tons of other guys trying to reach her. It is also low-pressure, unlike phone calls.

  • It shows balls and confidence.

  • If she responds with a video message herself you can see her, her vibe, her reaction and so on. This gives you key information to calibrate to.

We covered many more reasons in last week’s post, so consider checking it out. Today we get more into the practical realm on how to deliver proper video messages.

Video Messaging Girls, Part 1: Why to Video Message Her

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By: Alek Rolstad

video messageGirls may not always respond when you text. And many girls are too shy to answer phone calls. The ideal alternative? Leave women VIDEO messages.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today’s post won’t be specific to COVID-19 (as I write this, the pandemic has taken over the world – sadly). However, what I will go over is relevant to our times.

I’m going to discuss an alternative to texting.

Digital communication is becoming the norm these days; with tons of options, but also plenty of limitations.

And I believe video messages to be the best way to interact with girls in this era of technological communication. I‘ll explain why I believe this form of communication to be WAY superior to other forms (texting in particular). Next week I’ll give you some guidelines on how I use video messaging.

Before getting into it, I will share a background story. I have been into seduction for years and have specialized in night game cold approach pickup. Ninety-percent or more of my lays have taken place on the same day or night when meeting girls.

There are several reasons why this is better than taking her contact details and going for a date at another time:

  • When you’re in front of her you have the most influence on her emotional state. Your presence can help you control the interaction and generate emotional spikes. When you’re away from her you have the least influence on her state.

  • The context in which you meet her affects her mood, hence her level of compliance to you. In a different setting – such as the day after, at her home – she will be in a different emotional space, and so may be less compliant.

  • You usually pull from the compliance you create when you meet her. You ride the spontaneous emotional spike you created that same night. When she leaves you that initial compliance spike may be forgotten.

When it comes to one-night stands, it is often easiest to get the girl on the same night you meet her. This has the highest success rate. Once you leave her, you are no longer in control of the interaction, or of her mood. It may fade, and you may lose your chances.

That’s why guys experience girls flaking or “vanishing” despite having initially had a good interaction with a girl. Personal contact info exchanged during night game is the least likely to result in a second meet-up. It is better in day game, although she may still flake, so same-day lays are also a great strategy.

Social Distancing at Nightclubs: Can You Still Meet People This Way?

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By: Alek Rolstad

social distancing at nightclubs
If nightclubs are open in your area, yet subject to social distancing restrictions, can you still meet women at them? Or are your nightlife prospects… LOCKED DOWN?

Hey guys.

Welcome back. This will likely be one of my last articles on COVID-19 for a while. I’ve shared all I know for now. Of course, if I make any mind-blowing discoveries or find something worth discussing, I will cover it for you.

Today I’ll discuss a topic I know many have been waiting for: clubbing during the pandemic.

I apologize for bringing this up so late. I prioritized this series of articles since not everyone has been able to go clubbing because of differing levels of lockdowns and restrictions. I preferred to cover themes that a larger audience could resonate with first.

Also, I did not cover this earlier because I believe clubbing with social distancing outright sucks. So much so that even a night gamer like me tends to favor other game types for now.

Hopefully, we will open up to something closer to normal soon. If all we have to do is wash hands, wear a mask, and “be careful” (not impose social distancing) when entering clubs, I will reconsider. But for the time being, I do not see clubbing as a good way to meet women, even though I have had some success.

Where I live, clubs are closed. However, I went to visit my homeland during the summer, and clubs were open. I spent some nights out there with my fellow wing, Halvor Jannicke. The observations I share here are mine and his. So he deserves some credit.

But even Halvor, as a fellow night gamer, is not very motivated in clubbing lately.

To be clear, we are talking about clubs where social distancing is required, and your freedom to move around and mingle is limited:

  • You will be led to a table with your social circle.

  • You are not always allowed to go to the bar to order. You must do so when seated at your table.

  • You can usually only get up from your table to use the restroom.

  • Some places have smoking areas; others don’t. So you have to step outside the club to smoke.

  • Can you mingle? Some places are stricter than others, but generally, it is forbidden.

In other words, the club experience has become quite crappy. So as you can probably already see, there is not much you can do.

But there are a few things you can do, and that’s what I will cover here.

However, it is looking grim for nightlife so far. I will share my solutions, although I’ll admit, they are not that good, and you will still be limited. If you are looking for ways to meet women during the pandemic, read my recent articles. I cover better ways to live out your sex life during this crisis.