It Doesn't Matter What She's Thinking. Stop Chasing Rabbits | Girls Chase

It Doesn't Matter What She's Thinking. Stop Chasing Rabbits

Chase Amante

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what she's thinking
What is she thinking? Before you try to get inside her head, you must know this principle: taking action trumps reading minds.

We talk about female psychology a good deal on Girls Chase. At the meta level, it’s supremely helpful to know how women tick and what goes on in their heads.

However, today, we’re going to look at the granular level. The “what is this one individual girl thinking?” level. We’ll start with part of a comment by Girls Chase reader SZ:

I was also hoping you could explain this interaction to me, I try to be a warm person, but people don’t become warm, they’re cold. I was at the gym, This girl I saw was nice to me and asked me how I was, I told her and asked her the same, I looked at her a few times while we worked out nothing too much, just to check her out, then when I was leaving I said bye to her and she had headphones in, but I felt she heard me, I waited there for a response, then she gave me this attitude way of saying bye, like she was too cool for me. It was like a look of “oh please, I’m too cool for you attitude”. It threw me off because I didn’t make it obvious I looked at her a few times, I didn’t try to ask her out, I made sure she didn’t see me look at her here and there. I was cool, so I don’t understand the coyness. I was just being a man and looking at a girl, I don’t know if she saw me check her out, so I don’t know if that was the reason she acted like that.

So, a girl started off seemingly nice to him. Then ended up seemingly cool toward him. What happened, and what does it mean? Well...

  • It could be she wanted him to flirt with her more and ask her out, he didn’t, and she was disappointed.

  • It could be she was just being polite earlier, and in truth didn’t want to encourage him any more than she needed to.

  • It could be she started off her workout in a sociable mood, but by the end of it she was focused on music and exercise and ‘tuned out’ socially, so just seemed cold.

Maybe it’s none of these, and it’s something else entirely.

The thing is, with an individual woman, in an individual situation, you will not know what she is thinking.

You may have guesses. And sometimes your guesses will be correct. Sometimes they’ll be wholly, completely, laughably wrong, though.

Which brings us to our primary point today: it doesn’t matter what she’s thinking right there, this very moment. Stop worrying about what she’s thinking. Get focused on results, and stop chasing after rabbits.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



SZ's picture

Thanks for the article. I mostly felt some type of way about the girl because I was being polite to her like she was to me, she said hi and I said bye.

I found it extremely rude that she acted like that, so what if I was checking her out and didn't ask her out? She was just something to look at while I'm resting. I wasn't that attracted to ask her out, but it's nice seeing a girl for a change in there.

I think she did it just to be a bitch to be honest. That's why u can't be nice to women because they always try to 1 up you.

I'm guessing you'd think I'm being petty and wouldn't agree with me ignoring her or being very cold next time I see her.

And for your example of what we should do instead. What do you think I should have done if I did want to get her?

Should I have walked from the door to her and ask her out ? Seems high effort to me.

How do you know it won't make the girl get even colder if you act warm to her?

Fuck that bitch, I can certainly say from now on, I ain't saying bye to any bitches, I wish I could ignore them when they say hi so they can really feel their worth, how would they like that for being attainable? haha, but I'm not a rude bitch and would say hi or bye to anyone who says it to me.

Chase Amante's picture


You're not always going to have a perfect set of steps for every situation.

Doesn't sound like this girl gave you a clear indication of her interest. So if she WAS interested (and I don't know if that's what this was; it is just one possibility), she may have done the thing girls do sometimes where they hope you will approach, despite not really giving you any clear signals, then get mad at you for not approaching despite their lack of clear signals and decide they hate you.

If that sounds silly, well... Girls: Silly and Cute.


Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

I remember reading one of your articles that had referenced a study finding of "Beautiful Women tend to hook up less." Which proves how ugly women make sex more accessible as a bargaining chip for fighting over men with beautiful women.

Which article(s) is it? I tried looking everywhere. maybe it was one of your emails?

And would you personally approach these "genuinely beautiful" girls differently than the "hot" or "average girls"?

In your newsletter, you had an email saying "Attainability is most of guys problems".
Given that we work on our fundamentals and they're pretty good, would attainability still be an issue for specifically the "genuinely beautiful girls" or would value be more of a concern for especially them?

Not sure why, but average girls are easier in my experience, maybe I don't see their signs of beautiful girls, or maybe most beautiful girls already have boyfriends? Idk...

Re: Condom Use
A friend of mine just got "accidental pregnanted" by a girl he was hooking up with.
He pushed out the air before putting it on. It was the right side.
How on earth did it happen?

Some friends say you have to put it on the moment you start.
Does that mean during foreplay ? Your penis will get soft as you eat her pussy.
Or BJ before sex with condom on (herpes)?

But then putting it on ONLY when you penetrate, what about all those fingers you poked into her, and then you touch your penis to put on the condom...STD alert

Even so, would that be the reason why conception happened? Because of not putting it on first thing...


Chase Amante's picture


That was probably one of these two articles:

You should not vary your approach with beautiful girls. This is where a lot of men trip themselves up. They think "She's so beautiful, I've got to do something special", then use a process they aren't used to using, have not refined, and that does not work.

Attainability continues to be a problem for many men even with beautiful girls. Just because she's beautiful doesn't mean she can assume you will respect her, or that she can have a meaningful relationship with you. It's not a given.

As for the pregnancy thing... is he sure it's his?

And did he leave the condom anywhere she could have inserted the sperm into herself with?

No, don't put the condom on before you penetrate. If you go soft, or brush your penis against anything and loosen the condom, it won't work as well.

My guess is your friend had an incident he forgot (broken condom / condom slippage), or the girl is lying (not uncommon), got pregnant by someone else, or impregnated herself with one of his discarded condoms.


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