Relationships

What do you do if you have a small penis? Does size actually matter to women? See what the science says… And how to stop worrying about this.

In “Men are Penetrators. Women are Receivers”, Pedro García requests:

“Chase,

It would be greatly appreciated if you did an article on penis size. I know that it seems pretty random(or maybe it’s seeing the word penetrate a lot in this article) but I think that it’s a topic that needs to discussed... Please craft something of that nature in the future. Thank you!”

And in “How Can I Get to the Sex Part?”, a reader named PH asks, in part:

“Could you do an article on penis size? I was thinking a lot of guys have an average size penis because average is average so how does that compare to guys who have bigger ones v smaller ones for seducing a girl or a relationship.

My biggest hang up is having a relationship with a girl who has been with a bigger-package guy and I can’t compete because she can never feel it as much as the other guy so she’ll never have as good a time haha. ”

So today we’ll cover penis size.

This is a somewhat weird topic to touch, because it folds in a bunch of men in different places. Men affected by small penis concerns include:

• Men whose penises may or may not be small, but they’re worried they are

• Men whose penises actually are small, and they’re worried about this

• Men who struggled to get women off, and fear maybe their penises are small

Further, this is almost exclusively a sexually inexperienced man problem. I’ve yet to meet or hear of a man with 15+ lays who worries much or at all about his length or girth. I’m sure there are a few out there, but they’re pretty darn rare. Regardless whether your penis is small or not, once you’ve been with enough women, you usually don’t much care about this.

In a way, it’s kind of like being the beginning piano player who worries his fingers are too thick. Or the rookie running back whose 40-yard dash is below average and worries he might not get picked for a team. Once you’re getting results in the thing, these concerns melt away because they stop being relevant.

So, my general advice to guys is, “Worry about doing better with girls, work on your sexual technique so you are getting girls off regularly... and you are not going to care about this anymore once you do.”

If you don’t care about the details, and just want the gist, that’s it right there. You can stop reading here. Go level up with girls, go level up your bedroom technique, and you’ll think it was silly you ever worried about penis length or thickness.

But if that isn’t enough for you, and you’re talking yourself out of talking to girls because you’re afraid they’ll be disappointed with your manhood, or you won’t be able to satisfy them, then lets disabuse you of those notions.

We’ll begin today with a look at where science stands on penis size, and go from there.

Party girls are fun, but can be real handfuls. Want to date one anyway? Here’s everything you need to pull it off… As well as can be expected.

While I was visiting my hometown after a long tour through Europe, I decided to hit up an ex-girlfriend. Since our sex was always great, we stayed friends after multiple breakups... and she was bisexual, so I decided that we should set up a threesome together. We’d done it before and it was hella fun, so why not again?

We spent the next week matching with girls on Tinder and contacting anyone we knew. We had a few YESs, but they fell through for some reason or another. It was around the holidays, so most girls who were down were going to be out of town and wouldn’t get back until after I’d already gotten out of Dodge. I personally had a lot of “I like you but I don’t want to share you” messages. Those were nice.

Eventually, the night came and we decided to go out and find our prey together.

Awesome, right?

We meet up, shag a few times, drink a bit, then head out to the bars. We talk to a few girls and both make out with some (and almost pull), but half way through our second pull attempt, she starts getting super aggressive with the girl. If it was a guy doing it, he’d be considered creepy, but she’s a hot girl, so it’s more funny than anything.

After this scene, I watch her stumble up to random girls and get totally blown out. She comes back to me, defeated.

“That girl totally ignored you, chica.”

“Yeah, she’s a bitch.”

“Haha, oh really? Well guess what – welcome to my world. This is how guys get laid.”

“Yeah, it fucking sucks.”

Beyond dates and girlfriends, what should you look for in a wife? 6 things: genes, background, personality, beliefs, age, and life goals.

Bit of a departure from our usual fare, but commenting on “Why Madonna/Whore is Intimately Linked with the West”, Jimbo asks:

“What kind of girl and where to find it? Now what I want is a girl who isn’t too keen on working or a career, because: 1) I don’t see myself changing diapers or nurturing babies and little children except on rare necessary occasions, 2) if she’s gonna do all that with seven or more kids, keep the house tidy, and put food on the table, she obviously has to not work. Basically I’d just do the providing and the steering of the ship, and she’d take care of the nurturing and keeping the ship tidy.

But besides wanting the girl to be markedly younger than I am and be somewhat malleable and a follower (at least to me), I still don’t have a clear picture for what kind of girl to look for for that role. Do I cradle-rob one from high school? Or take a high school dropout because I’ll be sure she won’t want a career? But at the same time, isn’t it better to have a mother with some academic literacy to keep up with the kids’ education? Your thoughts on this one would be much appreciated.”

So, today, we’ll be talking about picking a wife.

I will kick off by recommending you always have you wife-screening (or, alternately, mother-of-my-children screening) default to ‘on’. The chief two reasons are to not miss great girls, and to not get trapped by the wrong girls.

Getting trapped is what happens to most men who don’t default to ‘on’ with their wife-screening. Which is the majority of men. Most men say, “Ah, I’ll never get married,” or, “Maybe I’ll get married, but it won’t be until years and years from now,” and then they meet a girl they kind of dig, date her for a while, and marry her (see: “Why People Settle Down: The 3-Step Settling Curve”). All the while they’ve never actually screened her, and she may not be a good fit for marriage with them (or marriage with anyone).

Missing great girls is what happens when a guy meets a girl he clicks with, but fails to realize what a find she is because he doesn’t screen her right away, and so doesn’t push as hard as he could have to be with her, and ultimately doesn’t get her. She might’ve been the perfect wife for you (or at least a top flight girlfriend), but some other guy gets to date her now because you let her go too easily.

If your heart is twisted up in knots and you’re screaming, “No Chase! I never want to be married! Don’t say it!”, well, I urge you to read on anyway. Forewarned is forearmed. And you might just find you’re less likely to fall into a marriage than most men who swear they don’t want it and will never do it (the majority of whom eventually marry despite their protests – though, because they are unprepared for it, their marriages tend to be much more on the girls’ terms instead of on their own).

Ejaculation needn’t be the end of sex. It’s possible to control your ejaculation, to make sex far more pleasurable… For you AND her.

Human sexuality can be as simple or as complex as we desire. In our media and popular culture the parameters of sexuality are often dumbed down. One night stands are promoted as we grow up in the “get drunk, party, fuck” environment portrayed throughout media, artificial pleasures like porn and toys endure, and the purpose of sex becomes either short-lived hedonistic gratification or family rearing procreation.

Lost is a spiritual element informing how our sexual organs are wired straight to our brain and how our whole body is linked sexually... how our mental state can be affected through sexuality... and how our sexuality can be influenced by our mind.

Cultures of long ago had stumbled upon this knowledge, creating foundations for healthy human sexuality – the Kama Sutra, Tantra, Karezza to name a few – but all are commonly misunderstood in today’s society (e.g., the Kama Sutra is not just a book of sex positions). Today we settle for short, five-minute shags where the man ejaculates hard and fast, and the girl doesn’t cum HARD in a way that opens her psyche – it’s over, and we move on.

By connecting the realm of the brain – spirituality and emotions – with those of our physiology and sexuality – our genitals and how we use them with a partner – we can create a new level of awareness that ties pleasure with raising our level of awareness and purpose. We can create and deliver earth-shattering orgasms that transform our psyche and leave us with replenishing instead of wasted energy.

Today’s book review of The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida begins with this powerful statement:

“Good artists are skilled, but great artists convey an immense depth of feeling through their expertise. The same goes for the art of sex. A good lover knows how to make the body sing, But a great lover, a superior lover, evokes a vast choir of bliss…The Enlightened Sex Manual shows how to transform the often willy-nilly flow of stimulated genital energy into a profound depth of feeling, openness, and embodied ecstasy.”

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Girls use double binds on their mates more often than you might realize. But it isn’t always easy to defeat these – and lots of guys try and fail.

It was a wild night. A girlfriend of mine came over after work and we had incredible sex – multiple hard sessions, one over 60 minutes – until early in the weekday morning. “That was sooooo amazing, I loved it!” she said as she fell asleep on me, spent and exhausted. The lights were on, and we didn’t even get up to brush our teeth.

The next morning, we went at it again, and after some cuddling I woke up and began to meditate as usual – my morning routine. My girl got up to shower and get ready as I did this. She had to leave for work before me, so I carried on with my meditation, taking time to achieve the right mind state, beginning what would later be an awesome, productive day.

As I was on the ground, my eyes closed, delving into the depths of my breathing and vision, I heard her come out rustling her clothes and jacket on. I could tell she was about to leave, but I wasn’t done meditating. She circled around me but I paid no attention. After a few minutes, she walked toward the door.

“I’m leaving! Kiss me!” She said aloud hoping to get my attention. She was already by the door. But I was still on the ground meditating.

I wasn’t done, and she was interrupting me.

“I hate you!” she said aloud, noticing that I didn’t acknowledge her.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

She said it again. “I HATE YOU!” She said this with a stern face as I looked at her still sitting on the ground.

I was coming out of my meditative state, and I gave her a blank look, holding eye contact. She frowned a little bit more and looked at me sternly, disappointingly, waiting for me to get up and see her out the door. I held my eye contact, and then turned my blank face into a devilish smile.

She abruptly broke her stern frame, transforming into a most subtle smile, then yelled out again, “I hate you…” more gently and calmly.

We paused, still holding eye contact. Then I blew her a kiss, smiling. She blew me a kiss, her face transformed into a huge smile. She grabbed the door handle, opened it, and left.

I was still sitting on the ground. I closed my eyes again and went right back to my meditation.

She texted me later in the day: “Sorry that I kind of messed up your meditation this morning,” followed by “Although I had a great night last night!”

I passed another Double Bind. One of many I’ve seen with this girl... and with others.

Women have all kinds of reasons to get into a relationship. Here are the 6 worst reasons… And the 1 best one.

Both men and women are guilty of entering relationships for unhealthy reasons, but today I’m going to talk about some unhealthy reasons women get into relationships – and the only genuinely healthy reason why she should date you.

This article might rub some the wrong way, because you may find that your girlfriend or a girl you’re interested in fits one or more of these “unhealthy” categories.

Two things to say about this:

1. Firstly, it’s not a death sentence if you date one of these girls. It can actually be very fun and educational. I have a habit of taking dominant, high-sex drive girlfriends (I’m currently dating one), and these women tend to fit into one or more of these categories. Why do I do it? Because it’s a challenge. I usually come out of these relationships tough as hell and with a new paradigm of game that sets me onto a reckless path of pussy destruction (however, I will note that I am becoming a bit unhappy with women like this; the return on the effort you have to put in is quite unbalanced, and I’m probably going to shift more toward conservative, low-partner count women).

2. Secondly, you’re probably not going to listen to me. I talked to Chase about a girl I’m dating, and after I concluded I’m not ready to make the relationship serious, I suggested that maybe I should have one or two other girlfriends (not casual relationships, but developed relationships). His response went something like “That’s probably what’s best for you, but I’m not going to tell you who to date, because nobody ever listens; people date who they want to date.” I took this as a personal challenge and am going to actively try and find another girlfriend more suitable to my long-term desires, because I’m not interested in anything but the most elite in life. That being said, most won’t do the work it takes to push themselves beyond short-term emotions, and even I have to admit it’s a bit difficult when you do genuinely like and care about a girl (as I do this one).

So, if you find some truth in what I say in this article but choose not to act upon it, I don’t blame you. It’s hard. It’s where even the best pick-up artists in the world (and the most talented naturals) fail.

That being said, let’s get to it. I’ll go over the six (6) unhealthy reasons why women get into relationships, what kind of women usually follow these paths... and then I’ll tell you the most important reason she should get into a relationship with you.

It’s fun to take your girlfriend to the club. Yet, the negatives (guys hitting on her, her becoming a clubber, unfavorable comparisons) aren’t zero.

There’s a habit among guys who like to frequent nightclubs.

And in fact, sometimes it catches on among guys who aren’t normal nightclub patrons too.

That’s the habit of regularly taking one’s girlfriend out to the club.

It’s a strange phenomenon, when you think about it. Nightclubs are primarily places for single people to go dance, talk, and hook up. They’re sexually charged environments that serve as platforms for mate selection and mate competition. Why would an attached man bring his girlfriend here?

A variety of justifications exist for taking a girlfriend to a nightclub:

• To inject excitement into the relationship
• To provide cover for your own clubbing without her
  
• To demonstrate how secure you feel in the relationship
• Because you think she wants or needs this
• Because you work in a nightclub
  

This article applies to parties too, to a lesser extent. It’ll apply to lounges, and some dance and popular bars as well, though not as much to dive bars that are more laid back and aren’t meet markets. Anywhere you take a girl with drinking and people hitting on each other a lot falls under the purview of this article, in essence.

If it’s a place people aren’t as sexy and no one’s flirting with or hitting on anyone else, you can safely leave it out of consideration for the purposes of this article.

So today, I’m going to talk to you about why taking your girlfriend to meet markets is bad and why you shouldn’t do it. Or at least, I’m going to give you the downsides to be aware of – that way, should you choose to take girls to these places anyway, you know the risks going in.