Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Picking Up Girls: Selecting the Right Venue

Alek Rolstad's picture

Today I will share some ideas around picking the right venue when going out at night to bars and nightclubs. This might sound very basic to some of you, but many seducers overlook this point and doing so makes their lives harder than necessary.

Venue selection is one of the most important and useful concepts in “night seduction”, and all the best “night gamers” I have met have criteria when it comes to finding the right spot to hang out.

venue selection

So let us start this discussion by correcting the belief that “famous clubs/bars” are good spots for meeting women. I believe this to be wrong, and here’s why.

3 Quirky but Great Places to Find Girls

Cody Lyans's picture

When you start having more conversations with women you start to learn what girls look for and how they identify those things.

By talking with girls frequently and having their trust sexually you start to hear about how they think while at the gym, or while at the beach, or traveling, and after this it becomes more and more clear that our fears of approaching in these places are misguided.

places to find girls

I was having some discussions recently about a few of these weird places, and you should know that girls are happier to meet guys than you would think at them.

Women are actively looking and positioning themselves in the best spots they can, so if you see a girl somewhere quirky and your first instinct is fear and to hide away, just stop for a moment. Girls usually go to these places because they really don’t want to go anywhere else to meet guys. So take the fact that she showed up where you are as a good sign, because on some level girls understand that if two cute people cross paths they just might spark up a conversation.

And so long as you follow a few dos and don’ts correctly, you should do well in these situations. Also, keep in mind that the fact that she showed up is a sign that she thinks “guys here might be okay!”

We as guys get nervous, but girls like that because it weeds out 90% of the guys who never think far enough ahead or never find the motivation to follow through.

The simple act of meeting a girl in quirky places can cause her to think great things about you. It might sound crazy, but as much as these places can be scary, the scariness is matched by their level of opportunity.

So buckle up, because meeting girls in unusual settings often means you are in for a different ride and it may just accelerate your learning curve, as girls assume the best rather than shooting you down.

Women’s Back Pocket Mentality

Chase Amante's picture

back pocket mentalityWe’ve discussed why if the aim is to sleep with or even get into relationships with women, you’re normally better off cultivating the image of “great potential lover” rather than the image of “great potential boyfriend” that the majority of men compete on (or, even worse, “great potential friend”) a number of times here already.

If you’re just tuning in and could use a recap, these articles are the primary pieces on the subject:

What I want to discuss with you today is one of the key mentalities women have regarding men that you must take pains to steer clear of falling victim to: women’s “back pocket” mentality.

This is the habit of women to “collect” men and keep them in reserve – or, in their back pockets – until such time as they might need them.

It isn’t malicious. It’s not a conscious effort to be manipulative or use others (usually).

However, if you aren’t careful about it, you can let this tendency of women’s, coupled with the tendency most men have to “prove their salt as a boyfriend by making themselves totally available”, sabotage any chances you might’ve had with those women.

The Natural Mindset: Taking More Pleasure from Hook Ups

Chase Amante's picture

Note before we get started: this one’s more for intermediate and up guys who are running into this issue. For guys who are beginners, stick with treating your interactions with women more “mechanistically” and breaking them down into bite-sized pieces and goals you’re trying to accomplish and milestones you’re trying to pass – you’ll learn a lot faster that way. Think of this article as “switching to natural... once you’re already fairly good.”


enjoying hooking upA reader named Robert writes in:

I have a question, hope you guys can answer it for me!

I have pretty solid game, can get girls, move things forwards etc.. etc...

Where I stumble is in my own experience of the whole interaction-  MY attraction to HER! Is it because I’m not going for hot enough girls? I’ll get super turned on when the situation is still unclear, and sex is not guaranteed. But then once I am pretty sure it’s gonna happen, I will lead her to it, but my arousal is wayyy less than earlier/before the interaction.

My thoughts are I should try to escalate as I feel the tension, in slow, somewhat intense and subtle ways... focusing more on the vibe and staying with it. Or perhaps convince myself that sex is not guaranteed yet? Or is this a sign that I am simply trying to pump my own ego, and the attraction isn’t real to begin with?

Ah, yes. An all too common issue of the developing seducer: why does reaching the point where she’s ready to go to bed with you kill all your interest in the sex?

The instant it’s unequivocally clear that yes, she DOES want to go to bed with you, and WILL go to bed with you – POOF! All the crazy desire you had to go to bed with her up until that point just vanishes.

Where did it go, and why does this happen?

How to Have Sex with a Cougar

Colt Williams's picture

cougarAh, cougars. Still a category of woman that every man longs to experience at least once in his life. Every man has a different reason for why he would like to be with one, maybe it’s because their girlfriend had a hot mom when they were younger, perhaps it is due to the fact that they had a really attractive teacher growing up, but, one way or another, there is definitely a certain allure to having sex with an older woman.

Last week, I talked about the “7 Greatest Things About Cougars.” In case you didn’t know why cougars are so great and why so many men covet them, that post explains it. It also explains the potential pitfalls that you should avoid when dealing with cougars.

So now that we’ve started at the foundation — as we always should — let’s talk about how to go through the process of actually having sex with one. Accomplishing this feat can definitely produce a very satisfying feeling in the heart of a man.

Though I should say that it can actually be rather difficult to have sex with a cougar with whom you have a very large age gap through conventional means. And by conventional means I mean day game and night game. While it’s definitely possible (more so with night game), your results will almost always be markedly lower than if you were to approach and try to seduce girls of your own age range or younger.

But that’s not to say that it’s not possible by other means — because it certainly is. So let’s talk about the best methodology and process to go about getting yourself one of these spicy vixens.

How to Avoid Drama (and Never Deal with It Again)

Drexel Scott's picture

We all know that Girls Chase is a great resource for learning how to bring a little more loving into your love life, and I believe it’s important to be prepared for all the success you’ll soon be having, and not just in your love life, but in all of the things you set out to learn. And just as poor people who win the lottery quickly lose their winnings, guys who suddenly find their hard work paying off with women are still vulnerable to certain subtle traps.

As one of the few guys in this corner of the internet who have avoided all manner of negative outcomes and heartbreak – as a result of my thinking about all this and figuring out what I wanted ahead of time – I consider myself in an excellent position to share with you what kind of mindset will be most useful to you when you begin to improve yourself and see more results with the opposite sex.

As we have mentioned many times – or as you have either learned from experience, or will at some point in your journey – drama sucks.

avoid drama

There are some people who enjoy drama, for reasons I would be happy to talk about in the forums, but this article is for people whose idea of a good time consists of simply enjoying your time with women and exchanging laughs and positive feelings. This article is for the guys who understand that their own happiness matters more than wasting time engaging with pettiness.

Fortunately, any guy can easily learn how to keep drama at an appropriate distance, which is to say, far away from himself and his life! There are many ways to do this, ways that I’ll briefly recap before giving you the golden ticket to a drama-free life with many lovers. Yes, such a key exists, and while it may be simple, it is not easy.

But guys who desire happiness badly enough will go to the lengths necessary to attain such freedom!

Hit and Run Pickup in Clubs: If at First She Does Not Respond…

Alek Rolstad's picture

Previously I laid out my new strategy of approaching – the “hit-and-run” strategy – which allows you to approach women without facing any strong form of resistance (such as “approach walls” – where women respond negatively to your approach).

hit and run pickup

To recap, my hit-and-run strategy is based on first approaching a girl with a simple ice breaker, for the primary purpose of “breaking the ice” (as opposed to the primary focus being to build attraction), then leaving (in order to avoid being perceived as a potential “stalker” and instead as a mysterious man while also making her miss your presence).

Here is how this type of approach goes, step by step:

  1. Look out for approach invitations (signs of interest). If you get none, it is still wiser to approach anyway.

  2. Short approach, often with just a simple “ice breaker” followed by an introduction. Then leave the girl or the group as fast as you can with no explanation given.

  3. Do something else. Maybe approach other women?

  4. Look out for signs of interests – girls you broken the ice with will be curious about you.

  5. Re-open with something along the lines of “There you are” or simply “Sup?”. You will see that the reception will be much warmer!

That was a recap of the most important aspects covered in my previous post that talked about the hit-and-run strategy. You can read a more in depth analysis of this concept here: “How to Stop a Girl Acting Like a “Bitch” in a Club.”

In this post, we will elaborate further on this concept – as you’ve probably guessed that it can be used for much more than just approaching. We will discuss in depth how this strategy (of “approaching and then leaving” and then hopefully re-approaching later; in other words, the hit-and-run strategy) can be applied to other situations, such as dealing with rejections, handling bigger groups of females (three or more), and handling women’s resistance to sexual advances.

No time to lose, let’s get to it.

Lowering Expectations, Then Shattering Them

Cody Lyans's picture

We are born into a world that doesn’t expect much out of us. Just be average, fit in, blend with the crowd, and you will be all right. This is fine if you want to be an average Joe with an average Jane by his side living an average life, but it is not so fine if you want more than this.

Yet you may have a tough time breaking out of the “mold” these low expectations place you in. From an early age we are all trained to expect average things of ourselves. Lifting one’s sights to see what is truly achievable takes work.

low expectations

Having low expectations placed on you sucks.

However, when you are a kid there is nothing you can do about it except “grow up”, so you end up agonizing on this desire to change during what should be one of the most care free periods of your life.

We get crammed into school systems, graded like we must perform a service adequately, and pushed into the social confines of routine. We are left to drift away into obscurity until we grow up, and at that point it seems too late to change anything. The system that supposedly is meant to make us match expectations instead lulls us away from the best ways to exceed them.

How to Use Role-Playing While Talking with Girls

Chase Amante's picture

A tactic we’ve left off discussing much here previously is role-playing. It’s taught in the seduction community at large as an effective way for jazzing up your interactions with women, and I was exposed to it early on, with a wingman in 2006 who was a heavy user of the tactic.

My personal bone of contention with how it’s usually presented (and the reason I don’t typically talk about it) always was that so much of the role-playing I saw being taught – all of it, really – was routine-based; you had to memorize some specific form of role-play, and then remember to use that with women.

Too hard for a guy like me. Too annoying. Too stiff and unnatural. I’m supposed to memorize this big gambit and then find a way to squeeze it into conversation?

I watched my wing – otherwise a cool, likable, and sociable guy – squelch it into his conversations with women, and some women would play along but you could tell they were being sports about it, while other women would give him a skeptical look and proceed to have none of it. Routine-based role-playing was just awkward to try to make fit with a conversation that was anything short of perfect for that precise role-play.

role-playing with women

Yet, over time I’ve found myself using role-playing more and more, naturally and without a routine, yet with several underlying themes that guide my role-playing and help me do it naturally and place it where appropriate into the conversations I find myself in with women.

This fluid form of “emergent role-playing” is what I want to talk about with you today – how you can use role-playing in a natural way, that isn’t pre-scripted, yet follows certain guidelines to help you do some cool things with your conversations.

She Wants to Submit

Chase Amante's picture

she wants to submitIf you want a shortcut for understanding women instead of ripping your hair out at the roots because women don’t make any sense, think about a woman this way: she wants to submit.

Men know this, of course. But most men are not thinking about it correctly, as evidenced by the various complaints by men about women’s behavior on my old article “When Women Test Men.”

See, most guys are thinking about things like men do, which is in a rational problem-solving type way.

They look about themselves and see lonely women. And they see themselves – also lonely. Well, why don’t women just submit to them? Then both of their problems would be solved! The man would have the woman, and the woman would have the man.

The fact that women don’t do this is, to them, proof that women’s reasoning is flawed.

I mean, ask a woman to explain this, and really nail her down on it, and she can’t.

There, see? Irrational. Doesn’t make sense.

But it does make sense when you realize she cannot submit completely willingly to a man; she is not programmed that way. Even if she rationally wanted to submit to you because you have such well-reasoned qualities and stats, she cannot.

Why not, you ask?

Because women do not want to and cannot submit fully willingly under their own power.

You must make them submit.