Dating in China | Girls Chase

Dating in China

Having been in Beijing more or less since July of 2010 (with frequent travel to other locales, of course), I've gotten pretty acquainted with the dating scene here in China. I've been with a good number of girls, have had a few girlfriends, and – as I like to dabble in all things – have been sporadically active in the different expat communities in Beijing. In fact, I moonlight as a rather well-connected man-about-town in the expat community here (or rather, I was doing so earlier this year… I've since slowed down).

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Anonymous's picture

I was wondering what your take on the scene in Taiwan?

Luke's picture

One-night stands are not my thing only because I am terrified of STDs, and virgin and one-night-stand simply does not happen. A temporary relationship, which would suit me best right now, is hard to come by for foreigners. If a girl is with you knowing that the relationship will have to end eventually, she will not want to be seen with you, or hold hands with you as they will be called sluts. In addition, Chinese men don't like girls who've previously had a foreign boyfriend. I don't agree that virginity is that important to Chinese men, it's more of a myth. I've even heard of a Chinese fella who is going out with a hooker (he is a young KTV waiter though which probably explains it).

John_H's picture

So you dated a Chinese architect. That's pretty impressive. Is it difficult to date women with good jobs in China? Or do they mostly want to date a man who has a better job than they do?

Anonymous's picture

I was trying to find a reason for my lack of attraction to Chinese women/girls. Whereas, I am attracted to Asian women from other cultures, Philippines, Japan, Thailand for example; I'm just not attracted to Chinese women/girls. My friend assures me that this a known phenomenon.

I have met a couple other Beijing expats that feel the same way. Nevertheless, I would like to pin down exactly what is the cause. When I am out with a Chinese women I feel absolutely no desire to play the game. It's fun hanging out for awhile, talking etc. etc. and then I am just so completely over it. I've never found myself in this situation or state of mind before anytime or anywhere else . It's a complete lack of motivation or inspiration. Any insights?

Danny's picture

Dear Chase,

Well I am Chinese American (immigrated here when I was 10) I agree with you that many Chinese guys are obsessed with virgins. But I thought that shouldn't be a "Chinese Culture", isn't it? It is suppose to be "men's culture".

I am not saying flings or hook ups, but don't u want your wife to be virgin?

Anonymous's picture

As an Irish American, raised in New York; I can say with confidence that most of my friends don't care about weather or not their wives/girlfriends are virgins. Perhaps they might consider it, but it's not something that would make or break the relationship. From what I've seen it's the same in Western Europe.

AnonymousDaryl's picture

Hi. I know it is an old post but my experience with a Chinese women for two years and knowing her well is not that great. The lady is reasonablely educated ( teacher).
She appears not to understand basic concepts of love. Very materialsitc and self-centered.
As far a sex goes there is no effort from her as she considers it "my job". Actualy everything is my job. I was about to bring her to Australia but I cannot as I fear the demands will esculate as they have already.
I fear if I had some hard times such as unemployment or illness she would not care for me at all. Yet i know i would care for her if the situation were reversed.
My gut feeling tells me to run away from her as far as I can.

Mischka's picture

I lived four years in south America and now I am in Beijing.I am divorced, 52, with a long-distance realtionship in south america. I wanted to date chinese women, have some affairs, open relationships. I am not eager to get a firm girlsfriend. It seems difficult for me. In South America you have very clear dating rules. Here they seem more childish. Kissing on a first date, in Brazil or Argentina very common, isn t possible here. I am always tempted to finish with one girl in order to cut my losses short. I don t want to waste too much time with soembody who doesn t like me. Well, I am dating some of them even sleeping with them.Miss right I haven t found yet and the present ones are not like girls in Minsk or Brazil. Too carefull.

Anonymous's picture

When was the last time you are in China there are no innocent girls there they have the internet these days.

Duncan's picture

Does this "disqualifying as a boyfriend" work with conservative Chinese girls?

Anonymous's picture

I'm a foreign woman in China and I can't stand most foreign men here. They're cocky and arrogant and in most cases can't get a girlfriend back home, yet are surrounded by woman in China, thus they begin to walk around like they're God's gift.

I will date an Asian over a Foreign guy any day and basically snub the foreign guys...Plus, the older foreign men are just creepy and weird.

Anonymous's picture

Foreign women come to China for the ego boost, here they are seen a amazing, beautiful, whereas the reality is they are plain, unattractive and hugely opinionated.

No foreign man would look twice at a western woman, when surround by beautiful and real feminine Chinese women. The poster is just jealous that she means nothing to western men.

LOL80's picture

This article plainly states that the most beautiful foreign women in china have trouble getting approached, so they're not coming "to China for the ego boost". It seems like its definitely the men who are. Dude sounds cocky as hell.

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