Awareness Radius: Get Noticed, Reward/Punish, and More | Girls Chase

Awareness Radius: Get Noticed, Reward/Punish, and More

Chase Amante

Hey! Chase Amante here.

You've read all the free articles I can offer you for this month.

If you'd like to read more, I've got to ask for your help keeping the lights on at Girls Chase.

Click a plan below to sign up now and get right back to reading. It's only 99¢ the first month.

Already a GirlsChase.com subscriber? Log in here.

81

There’s a forceful concept we haven’t touched on a great deal on Girls Chase before, and that’s awareness radius.

We’ve discussed it a bit in the articles on the bored look and the skeptical look, and we’ve mentioned it as ‘extinction’ in the one on operant conditioning.

However, we’ve not called it by this name... awareness radius.

awareness radius

If you’re good, you’re using awareness radius strategically already, without knowing it. Once you’re consciously familiar with the concept, however, you can use it consciously as well as on autopilot, which makes you more socially formidable.

Even if you’re still learning, I’ll bet you’ll realize you’ve used this one from time to time, and what an impact it’s made. Now just think if you used it strategically.

Because, you see, awareness radius is a tool for communicating your own value, in your mind, relative to others; it’s a tool for rewarding good behavior and punishing bad; and it’s one you can use proactively to increase how much attention others are paying to you and what regard they hold you in.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

HMN's picture

Chase,

Your articles verbalize clearly and technically explain what are usually only vague intuitions or impressions for me. Great insights and clear explanations.

Also, a minor error in this paragraph right before the "how to use" section: "Note how the individuals with smaller awareness radii always seem more dominant, more important, and/or higher social status? Note how the individuals with the smaller awareness radii always seem more vulnerable, more reactive, or more desperate?"

"Smaller" is used twice, though I assume you meant "larger" in the last sentence.

Cheers,
HMN

Author
Chase Amante's picture

HMN-

Cheers for the remarks, and for pointing out that error - makes that paragraph significantly less clear, huh? All patched up now.

Chase

irrelevant's picture

"There are lots of ways to deploy awareness radius tactically; the prime rules to bear in mind are that you want others noticing you more and more focused on you when you desire your attention"
You mean: when you desire THEIR attention?

Explosive Results's picture

I've been aware of the importance of being non-reactive to external/irrelevant stimuli for years now but this article has given me a far better understanding of why and how it can be used strategically. Many thanks!

That aside, I suspect there may be an error in the below paragraph:

"Note how the individuals with *smaller* awareness radii always seem more dominant, more important, and/or higher social status? Note how the individuals with the *smaller* awareness radii always seem more vulnerable, more reactive, or more desperate?"

Is the second instance of "smaller" actually supposed to be "larger"?

J's picture

Chase,
I agree with your article. To me this is something i have struggled with. Due to my mindset, i feel as though i need to be aware of everything that is going on to give me a sense of control. My awareness radius has always been large. It has helped me and hampered me. I just find that having a small awareness radius in some situations are really stupid. I feel as though people with small radius are really dumb because they have no clue to what is going kn around them. As for me someone with large radius I feel as though in can take advantage of those with small radius because they have no clue of whats happening and oblivious to the world around them. You are right i do feel desperate and predatory when having a large radius but this also empowers me to be aware of everything, a mechanism i have for identifying any threats. This i have learned through my lifes experiences. My dilema is why is it like this? Why do we as people find someone who have no clue to what is happening around them (small awareness radius) to be powerful or of high social status. I find it extremely annoying when people are so caught up with maintaining small awareness radius. It bugs me since i am the opposite. I would consider an alpha male someone with large awarness radius taking in the whole world view rather than someone acting like an idiot solely focused on themselves. I guess its all sutuation dependent. I just have a hard time viewing small radius awareness people as powerful or high ip their in social rank. I feel as though they are just antelope eating the grass while i am a hunter carefully being fully aware ready to strike down on them. Once again a great article and thanks for helping point out my faults and this will help me hone in my skill set even further to utilize my awareness radius effectively!!!

rain's picture

In an environment, you have no clue about, a small awarenes radius is indeed not so smart. But once you get to the point where you know how things are running, you stop verifying your surroundings constantly. Its just no longer neccessary. You feel in control and can save your energy.

This is how it is. Now beyond that you can chose how you want to appear (!). At times it might be beneficial to appear like you feel in control, while actually you are not yet.

This means you might want to discretely have a wide focus to get an idea whats going on in the enveronment, while to others at a glance it looks like you have a focused radius of awarenes.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

J-

Well, maybe think about it this way.

One male lion sits on a rock, whipping his head about constantly. He’s scanning everything around him. If a twig snaps, his attention shoots off in that direction, eyes bulging, hairs prickled.

Another male lion lounges about lazily in the grasslands. He focuses a little on the lion cub tugging at his tail, or otherwise just zones out.

You may say, “That lazy lion is dumb,” but there’s another conclusion you can just as easily draw: the lazy lion’s already earned his laziness. He knows what’s a threat and what isn’t, and if a threat enters into his environment, he’ll assess it and deal with.

At the same time, there are also different levels of “threat awareness” among people of differing life experiences. A soldier may return for the Middle East and be on high alert for bombs along the side of the road – he may even think those damn idiot drivers who hit any damn thing in their path and aren’t even aware enough to swerve out of the way are fools. But these folks haven’t had any life experiences that would make them become hyper vigilant about bomb threats on the road, and the worst the average piece of road debris has to threaten them with if they hit it is a flat tire. Considering the resource demands it takes to remain hyper vigilant, and how much this hog’s one’s attention from other things, compared to how little actual risk to him there really is, this is actually a poor adaptation on his part, but it takes time to readjust to civilian life, which requires a lower level of threat awareness.

One other thing I’d point out from your example: the hunter, with his sights trained on the antelope, in fact has an equally small awareness radius to the gazelle, or perhaps even a smaller one (the gazelle is still scanning for predators, it simply hasn’t learned to look for men with rifles yet). No doubt the hunter would be equally surprised to discover a fellow hunter a few hundred feet away had turned his sights away from his quarry and targeted the first hunter instead, or that a lion had crept up on him quietly in the bush! Peering through that rifle scope at the gazelle so far away, he may be a predator, yet he thinks of nothing else, and his awareness radius right before he pulls the trigger is the smallest in the world.

Chase

Anonn's picture

Hey man, that was an really cool article!

I just realized that I'm using all (most) of these to appear dominant and strong;

now I'm a beginner and learning every day, I'm really excited by every day to just go alone and meet people( women!!).

A few days ago I faced a situation I just didnt wants to face .....people wanting to bring you DOWN ( wtf ).
like they literally try to get in your gut and want to have a piece of you. It just take too much of efforts to deal with them, like you have to put so much efforts in getting angry and reply them.

that sucks man .

like what to do when one or two or more of them come up to you suddenly and started to making fun of you and still you try to ignore them and now they are using there hands to touch you and make you look bad ( feel bad ) .

What I want to know is this : what am I doing wrong to appear weak that made them play with me in the first place anyway??.

How to deal with them ? How to be UNREACTIVE ??
and make them look like some fools who are just putting so efforts in putting me down because of what ..so that they can feel about themselves .

how to not get hit by these emotions ?.

Now I know I should just not spend my precious time with guys like these and which is exactly what I'm doing anyway....but every now and them they come and see you are getting good looking...and doing some cool stuff, they feel bad for themselves.

and you know what I've realized.....most of the people want you to fail .

Let me know how to deal with it or maybe an article would be so helpful!!.

All of your knowledge about life and women is so helpful ;) .

And hey ....HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance.

Thanks

Anonymous's picture

I'm not Chase, but the core idea you could spin all the ideas why it's so is: "They see me as a threat":
- Social one
- Physical one
(or any other kind you think of).
It doesn't really matter. From this idea you could run your analysis by seeing all parts of that situation as it happened with the question "At which points I looked like a potential threat instead of being charming?" in your curious mind.
Being unreactive may work even in your disadvantage here, because either people will still want to "correct you" or see you as a douchebag who is used to making situations creepy.

Think about it until Chase gives you normal answer.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anonn-

When people are putting their hands on you in a hostile manner, they see you as prey.

I couldn’t tell you what signals you’re giving out that strike them as “prey signals”, but you probably need to spend time seeming tougher and being more confrontational.

I don’t like advising anyone to fight, because you never know when a guy’s going to make a bad move and get himself hurt or go to far hurting someone else, but you at least need to be a little tougher.

e.g., at the very least, if someone’s putting hands on you, stop, look at them very slowly with a “Are you fucking kidding me?” expression, and very slowly look down at their hand. Just aim to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible, as if they’ve seriously overstepped their bounds and need to better know their place. If they still don’t take the hint, you say, “Excuse me,” in a disgusted voice and remove their hands from you and continue on your way. If they’re still physical with you after that, you probably have to fight them.

I’m guessing you’re probably young and running into this in school. I’ll tell you, I didn’t face too much bullying past a certain point, but there was a moment where I said, “You know what, I’m done being a pacifist; anyone who messes with me is getting challenged, and if he attacks me he’s getting hit.” Once you’ve been in a few small scraps, no one wants to put their hands on you anymore; not necessarily because they think you will win, but because they know even if you lose they’re still going to get a black eye or a puffy cheek, and they’d rather target prey that won’t fight back.

You get a vibe too after a little while that other folks pick up on and are able to say, “Okay, this guy’s probably going to fight back if we mess with him,” which means they won’t mess with you after that unless they’re big, outnumber you, and are itching for a fight (usually they’re drunk or on drugs), which is pretty unusual.

Chase

90210's picture

Kickass article man!! So simple yet so effective when you are aware of it!

This post must definitely be among the top 10 articles of this amazing site! It was a fantastic read! Happy new year bro!

90210

Yoyo's picture

Dear Chase,

My sincerest gratitude for your website's life changing advice! It significantly clarifies my understanding of the world. Thank you.

I've read your articles on talking, talking less, how to talk on dates etc. However, how do we talk about ourselves or avoid talking about ourselves when we have nothing going on like your natural friend who only plays video games and would avoid talking about himself with girls?

Happy New Year!
- Yoyo

Anonymous's picture

If you have two dudes one who is good at video games another at girls, it gets tricky... According to the public you speak to.
If you talk with people who are normal people subscribing to ideas described in media - than you might describe from like:
- Sometimes I like meeting different people, because they feel like watching a movie, one of such friends (I won't mention, whom, because they are stigmatized, and for a reason) who is great with girls and does it with such ease that seems incredible, he once said... "the most normal story you can think of his life", and I can't imagine whether is he normal dude or not.
- One of my friends is great at video games, whenever I feel the need to ask something about games I turn to him and I find it great idea to meet him and give him some good advice about other things, I like sharing information.

Ages ago there was article in this site How to Answer “What Do You Do?”, No Matter What You Do which might give more ideas to you.
And for the hell's sake, there's article How to Talk About Yourself on Dates
Put them together, mix with what I said, take feedback as people listen and that's it.

At least it, until Chase writes here some normal comment.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Yoyo-

Hmm, I’m having trouble remembering which friend that was who only played video games, but I’ve definitely had a couple of natural buddies who just watched television all the time – sports, or South Park, stuff like that.

In the cases of both guys I’m thinking of, their games revolved around a real smartass, wise-cracking style where they’d make fun of the girl in a playful way and mix in great sexual humor, while also being highly “inclusive”: come on, let’s do this; here, drink this; hey, let’s grab some food. Just joking and leading, joking and leading. Girl asks him about himself, he makes a joke. Then leads. That’s pretty much what their styles revolve around, and it makes it easy for them to do well even if their lives are quite unexceptional; they make up for it with great humor, and great knacks for getting lots of compliance.

Chase

Brandon 's picture

In any time in the near future are you gonna post an interaction of yourself on video and post it. I l'mean there isn't really anybody I can really watch on video who I can really improve my skills by studying. All the other people who post I cant really learn anything from them. Rsd postes too many montages and not the full interaction and I cant really see the things they are doing on most occasions. I'd finally want to see how you do in action. I don't care if the interaction is iverly funny and spontaneous because I'd get a sense for everything you do like your body language, your voice tone, and your process

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Brandon-

We’re in the process of building my new course right now. We’ll start shooting hopefully in March or April, and there will be plenty of demos! I realize guys want to see me showcasing techniques, so this’ll be a big part of the course.

Stay tuned!

Chase

Walt Whitman's picture

Would a person staring at their smartphone have a small awareness radius, because a smartphone is physically small? Or large awareness radius, because the phone is really a window to the entire internet?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Walt-

Cell phoneception?

In seriousness, that’d be a small awareness radius.

That said, it’s a different kind of small awareness radius than, say, you focused on a person. Staring at a phone is more like staring at a book; people will consider you immersed and distracted and non-social, whereas someone who’s zeroed in on a person is focused but social. There’s a bit of a different flavor to it.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Another well-written article!
I like how it elaborates on awareness. Often times, I read your other articles that tell us to not look around and scan as it communicates low value. But then, how do we still be aware of the environment's dangers (How to be Street Smart) and potential opportunities?

This article brings insight to that question!
But if you can elaborate on the above dilemma, that'll be great!

Re: Pushing it to tip

You mentioned a bouncer from Boston in Social grace savvy article who would push women right up to the line of auto rejection but not over.
3 questions regarding that
1. What are some common "lines" for women and how far can we usually push for those? Examples would be great!
2. What do we do that counts as "pushing up her wall" that leads to auto rejection if going over?
3. For new women we meet, how to identify what the line is for her (i.e. What bugs them to auto rejection) and how much she can handle?

Thanks bro,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

He actually pushed women over the auto-rejection line sometimes (not purposely, but he’s a pretty sarcastic guy and it happens), and sometimes recovered with them. Sometimes not. But the ones who recover are all about you.

I’m not clear on what you mean by “common lines” – what women say when they’re nearing auto-rejection? There aren’t so much specific things they say as there is a general theme; the theme is, essentially, “You’re a dick, and I mean it, I’m not being playful.” Once you’re getting that, you won’t want to push it further, because it’s already gone too far.

As for what pushes her wall, or where is her line… different for every girl. Some women you can bust on them all night long and they’ll laugh and laugh and accompany you home. Some women you make one little comment about her and she’s flying off the handle at you. Depends on the girl and how sensitive she is, what she’s sensitive to, and how she interprets your actions and remarks. Get a feel for her, and calibrate accordingly!

Chase

ghgg's picture

Hey Chase,
Something came up with my girl last week. We were walking along and she mentioned that her last two bf's were both Italian, as am I. So I said "Well you certainly have a type" and she said "If I had to pick a type it would be tall with dark hair. You're not very tall but I still like you". How should I feel about that? Why would she even say that knowing I'll never be tall? She's never mentioned anything about height before. It's been bugging me for the last week and idk if I'm making too big a deal out of this or what?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Ghgg-

Yep, it’s a great tactic! I do the same thing any time a girl makes a backhanded compliment at me like the one you gave your girlfriend.

Her: “Ah, so you always go for women who make more money than you, huh?”

Me: “Usually. I guess you’re an exception. Huh. How’d I end up with a girl not making as much as me this time? I’ve got to tighten my standards back up again.”

Anyway, don’t take it too personally. It was just how she deflected the backhanded compliment back your direction. It’s not an actual statement of her interests, it’s her rebuffing your attempt to box her in as “oh, she’s so predictable, she’s got a thing for Italians”, which potentially positions you as superior to her (“As for me, I don’t have a type, I just go for whatever girl is the best”).

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey bro,

How do we smoothly inject the "I like to keep things low key so you can you and I can be me" in the first date conversation given she doesn't text in front of you?

I tried talking about it after bringing up relationships.
Terrible and unneedingly heft on her. Also, it sets wrong expectations too.

What do you think?

Re: Bad behavior

This goes back to your hug/handclasp article.
Me: Hey wait, before I forget, let's trade cells. You're too much fun to forget keeping in touch with.
Her: Let's not
Me: (pauses for a second) (Shrugs) Ok, if you say so.

Then I continue chatting (it was on the bus) but I knew it wasn't going anywhere.
Before I leave, I give her a high five, she complies and fives me and smiles.

I had become comfortable asking for compliance now.
Asking to see her hand, or an item.
Getting her to repeat because I can't hear.
Strange that despite of this, they might not give me their number.

In retrospect, should I high five at the end?
How would you deal with this situation?

Re: When conversation dies
What does go for compliance or Try to move her when it dies do for us?
Or is there a better solution?

Thanks,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

What’s the “keep it low key” bit from? Sounds like a routine of sorts; I assume you’re using it if she wants to introduce you to her friends, since you mention the “secret lover” in your title? If that’s the case, you’ll need to wait for her to bring up something that would occasion you mentioning this to make it seem natural, otherwise you’ll seem to be forcing it into play.

If you get a strong rejection from a girl, it’s probably over, but if she’s still complying you can always try for a Hail Mary play and just tell her you know what, let’s go on an adventure. Come on, let’s hop off the bus right now and get food. We’re not trading cells, we’re never going to see each other again, that means all we’ve got is right now. Not super likely to work though.

If she still says no, I think I’d just pull out a book and do some reading. You can bid her a nice farewell when you go.

Another alternative is just being really playful with her, escalating compliance, then going for the phone number again: “Come on, you’ve GOT to meet up with me another time, you and I HAVE to get food or a drink or something, it’s destiny. How else do you explain us meeting on this bus? Give me your phone number so we can meet again. It’s fate. You know it is. Let’s have it.”

As for moving her / getting compliance when the conversation dies, if it died because you missed an escalation window it gives the interaction another kick in the pants. Additionally, it gives you added stimuli and something to talk about now that you are doing instead of merely talking.

Chase

MakeUp's picture

so you don't do your eyebrows... your icon has nice eyebrows though!
do you do makeup or shave body hair all that fad haha?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

MakeUp-

I hope you’re not using this to imagine me naked ;)

I shave my neck with a razor, and trim my beard with a beard trimmer. Also have to buzz the back of my neck and upper back every so often because otherwise I start looking too Paleolithic.

Other than that, no shaving / manscaping / etc. Here are my thoughts on this:

Re: Should men shave their chests?

Chase

JourneyMan's picture

Howdy Mr. Amante,

I hope this message finds you well.
Cheers for answering my questions with short but detailed brilliant answers.
I have put your advice to the point and had some delightful experiences!

May I ask for your insight, sir?
If she doesn't pick up, then texts that she doesn't like phone calls unless they're brief and absolutely necessary. Hogwash I say! Brilliant and adorable nonetheless.

How should I continue?

Secondly, after reading a comment, it reminded me my mate's playful roleplay voicemails or at the start of a phone call.

I overheard a mate say that he was a phone operator, calling in to check if her phone is working in a playful way. He also said he's pregnant and need to talk over a text or voicemail or say a promoter gave her number to him if he wanted some pep. He recommended me to use similar roleplays.

What a wanker he is! Yet brilliant in playful witty way.

What is your recommendation for playful witty voicemails or phone call openings? a mixing of both, doing one then switch for the next call, or following solely your structure in every call/text switch for ace results?

Cheers!
- JM

Author
Chase Amante's picture

JM-

If she texts you she doesn’t like phone calls, she regards you as a friend at best. A girl who’s romantically interested in you is excited to get ANY contact from you, regardless the form. She doesn’t start listing out her rules and regulations for contacting her. I’d just drop that number and go meet some new girls who liked me more.

I like the playful voice mails / texts! That’s very funny. If you’re building enough attraction initially you don’t need them, but if you’re not quite there yet and you get a lot of numbers that are “blah” toward you, something like this may help push them off the fence and get them responding to you.

Alternately, once you’re good on the phone, or even when you’re still learning, just a brief voicemail where you share a neat little anecdote from your own personal life and ask her how she is and tell her you’ll talk with her later will usually suffice. Much of the time it’s just hearing your voice and realizing you’re a real human and that’s all it takes.

Chase

Sub-Zero's picture

Sup Chase,

I was wondering if I was in my head too much with limiting beliefs. I'll tell you about my location to see if you have any idea if race is key here. I live in Florida and there are mostly white people where I am at.

I'm black and I have heard and seen girls go to either white or spanish way before black. I have seen girls ask guys if they were whatever race, so I know that they racially profile.
I have gotten it too, I have had girls that didn't want me because I was black and would run off to other lighter races, but at the same time I could get a different race girl white or spanish that loves black men while rejecting white and Spanish boys.

Now, I even hear black girls talking about they either want a white man or a spanish man.

My point is that is it my area that I'm at? Or is this all in my head?

How can I pick up girls with these obstacles?

I want to do day game, but worry about the race thing.

Should I just keep pushing? What tips do you have for a black guy in this situation?

How do I work it out in my favor and come out on top?

Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Yes and no.

Race is one of those things a woman judges you on when there’s nothing else to judge you on. So if you’re not improving your fundamentals and learning game, you’re right to be concerned with race, because you’ll get judged on it.

On the other hand, if you start busting your stones to get great fundamentals and awesome game, race becomes largely irrelevant. Women will still comment on it, but more in a “I’ve never dated a [whatever you are] before!” way or a “Oh, I didn’t know [whatever you are] men could be like you!”

Anyway, racial preferences are everywhere. You can’t get away from them. They’re stronger in some places and weaker in others. However, like height preferences, wealth preferences, and facial attractiveness preferences, if you handle game and fundamentals, they aren’t much of an issue.

If you don’t though, then yeah, you probably ought to be worried, and you’ll want to restrict yourself to girls you know like men of your race.

(personally, I’d advise you to work on game and fundamentals, and then just date whomever you well please)

Chase

Wolf's picture

Chase, right now I'm in a tight spot.

Have no idea what to do and figured I'd ask.

I remember talking about skills that can make you money.

Coding is what I thought to do and the problem I'm facing now is that I need money now. I know you said it takes a year or two to make money from coding.

Right now I'm on school and am busy out of school. How many hours should I work on code a week of I want to get good in a year?

Out of coding or copywrite, which is easier and faster to learn?

My schedule is full right now because of school and work, my job isn't paying me enough and I need a new one while I'm working on coding. Thing is, no one is hiring, I've tried a lot and even looked at your post about making a resume and the interview ones.

Do you know any jobs that pay good and that will hire while I finish my degree?

Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Wolf-

That was all I’ve got on finding work – there’s no more.

I mean, if you’re just cash-desperate, you can sell blood at the blood bank, get paid to be a sperm donor, sign up for research where they’re looking for paid participants. You can work as a mover – that’s back-breaking labor, but it pays really well, and it’ll put you in hella good shape. You can go on Craig’s List or eBay and sell your belongings if you have furniture you don’t need or clothes you don’t wear anymore. You can sign up on Fiverr.com and offer some kind of service like [whatever you can do].

Beyond what I talked about in this post though:

How Can I Make Money Right Now?

That’s it. There’s a bunch of ways on there, but you’ve gotta pick one and do it.

And you can make money coding in less than a year, but you’ve got to make sure you learn a language that pays well and is in demand, and you’ve got to learn about building a profile on a freelance site and getting projects. You’ll have to hit Google for resources on that though.

Chase

Add new comment

The Latest from GirlsChase.com