Was your pure princess corrupted by a dirty playboy? Does it really even work that way? We explore whether women are innocent doves, ruined by filthy, devilish men.
I've been meaning to write this article for a bit, and we just got another one of these comments. The comment was on my article where I talked about feeling sad when splitting with a woman, not knowing if she'll ever find another guy on my level.
The commentator naturally said this showed I was an evil man for dating women and ruining them for other men and that I should only do friends-with-benefits or something (as if that was something I was even interested in!).
So I guess now's as good a time as any to address this belief that some guys hold.
Namely, that women are innocent, dove-like creatures, who are tragically ruined by diabolical romance fiends (like me), who seduce them, capture their hearts like they've never been captured before, then boot them out into the cold, to never be able to truly love a man again.
It's a kind of reverse-Disney; Prince Charming, rather than making the Princess's dreams come true, transforms her dreams into bitter lifelong regrets.
Is this how it really works?
Comments
Deconstructing unhelpful mindsets in girlfriends
Hi Chase,
Nice article as always. You name a few items about how a man who dates your exes is a lucky man because you train your girlfriends' mindsets. Those are interesting topics. Some of them have already been addressed on the website. Yet I fail to find an article where you help her deconstruct mental models that are unhelpful to the relationship (like postmodernist/feminist/political stuff that is trendy these days). Like always, I suppose the answer comes down to frame.
There are many articles on the site that touch frame! But I'm missing one that addresses getting on the same page about societal perspectives. There is an article by Alek Rolsted which addresses politics in a bar, but I am talking about relationship management. After all, in any serious relationship you have the responsibility to address such differences of opinion so that they cannot become a future problem. A strong frame obviously solves the girl's attitude towards yourself but if she still posts e.g. social justice political stuff on her facebook every other day or talks about the patriarchy with her friends, then something is still off.
I understand you are somewhat reserved about going into politics too much on the website, but maybe you can navigate around it. I would be interested in reading an article about restructuring your girlfriend's mental models in general (to the extent that is possible of course)!
Re: Deconstructing unhelpful mindsets in girlfriends
Remy-
Ooh, wow, yeah... that's an interesting-but-sensitive topic.
I like the topic though.
I've added it to my topics list. I'll see what I can do. If I can get the angle right (and do it without unnecessarily enflaming people), I may write it soon!
Chase
Now, imagine the girl dating
Now, imagine the girl dating the famous ball player. Imagine if, instead of his side piece, she was (hit) actual wife.
#small typo hit = his
Nice article
I would add: pay attention also to the relationship she had with the first man in her life, usually her dad...
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