Stop Auto-Rejecting Girls Who Like You | Girls Chase

Stop Auto-Rejecting Girls Who Like You

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“You wannafourfour?”

Around a year and a half ago, this Tinder message buzzes my phone as I drive back to school. I’m returning from a trial shift at a club I hope to work at for the upcoming summer.

Despite my good mood, however, I’m confused. What the hell is “fourfour”?

self-auto-rejection

The girl messaging me is a cute blonde sorority girl who I’d set up a few dates with, but she always flaked. Save for a few run-ins on campus, we didn’t see each other much. Then we matched on Tinder, but it’d been days since I sent a message, with no reply. Now, at the tail-end of a Friday night, she’s messaging me to “fourfour”.

“She must be messing with me,” I think to myself.

As far as I can remember, I’ve always thought that the entire world was playing a prank on me. And women flirting with me and chasing me, well, that was just the cruelest of jokes. I feared that the moment I flirted back or asked them out, everyone around me, including the girl, would turn towards me, point their fingers, and laugh as they tease me “Oh you really thought she’d get with YOU?!” This was the insecurity that caged the seducer in me for far too long.

Hector CastilloAbout the Author: Hector Castillo

Hector Castillo is the web’s top expert on getting laid in college. In his small town university, he went from World of Warcraft nerd to president of his fraternity in 4 years... And on the way, he bedded close to 50 women. To follow his life up close, follow his Instagram here. His book King of College is due out soon. Listen to the 40-minute interview with Hector on his story and some of his prized tech... and sign up for a 12-week coaching course with him, here:

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Comments

z23's picture

"She broke your heart? Spurned you? Ignored you? Quit whining, stop auto-rejecting yourself, and if you’re still mad at her, just take that anger out on her vagina as you rage-fuck her into oblivion."

Absolute gold.

So many of these have plagued me over the past few months. Timely article.

fiso's picture

can't agree more!!

I copy/paste this exact sentence to my friend
I started laughing how true it is!!

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

Hey guys,

Glad you liked that passage. It's one of those "alright, let's quit being pussies and just face the truth" moments that make you feel like a man if you can handle it.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Raqimus's picture

Hector, ive ran into virls on the street who minutes into conversation ask where i live. Now im usually pretty far from home ive been trying to figure out a way to capitalize on this and say fuck them in an alley or something. Id try to playfully joke about it oh trying to come home with me are you. Or if they mention their home i joke about them inviting me over. With the street and them expressing that interest in where you live how can i transition it to sex.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

Hey Raq,

It is possible to pull her in just a few minutes and I had a few interesting situations last year where I thought I should slow down but in fact should have just pulled.

Then I also had times where girls asked "where do you live?" and I immediately jumped the gun, trying to invite them home, and it wasn't right at all. Too quick.

You have decide if it's screening or a window. If she's not suggesting you guys hangout, being extra nervous (in a good way) or flirty, then it's probably not a window, but it's a screen, so one step closer. If one of those variables are true, then try and pull. See how it goes.

If you don't feel like it's a window, sure, throw a joke in there (I'm always a fan of "are you going to stalk me/rape me?" I've had more than a few girls respond "oh yeah I'm gonna rape you." Always funny). Then continue talking knowing that she's into you and be ready for the window.

I've tried to close at all sorts of silly ass times, including girls casually asking me "where do you live" a few seconds into conversation. You feel like an idiot once you ruin your shot by jumping the gun, but how would you know otherwise?

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

T's picture

I really love the articles here most of them go deep into detail. But this one boils it down how to act towards rejections and this applies to every area of live. It is written in an easy going way and the examples show how it works (or not :-) ). Again: worth to take into account for all areas of live.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

Glad you enjoyed it, T! I've been trying to simplify my writing and make it more digestible. Good to see it's working.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

J wick's picture

You missed a big one! What about auto-rejecting after hearing,"I've got a boyfriend."

I don't like messing with healthy established relationships, so when a girl tells me she has a boyfriend I usually bid her fair well. However, since I've been hearing this often lately, sometimes from girls who seem into me, I need to test the waters a bit and see if she's speaking genuinely, losing interest in her man friend or actually in a good ol' best buds who fuck senario.

There's another senario I found myself in many times back before I began learning womanese. It's laughably obvious, but I would be totally oblivious to the idea that "we could totally right now" despite having women IN MY BED.

My favorite story to tell (though it hurts me so) is from 7th grade. My friend was dating a well known sloot, and was kind enough to have her bring a friend over to my place while the house was all to ourselves. The gods of sex and love were smiling upon me that day (though they certainly frowned with its closing) because the friend was one of the hottest 8th graders at school, and I was prude as a prune.

My friend told me "she wants to make out with you." And us four climbed into my bed and started tonguing down. At some point my friend decided to take his girl to a more private area and left the redhead sultress and I to do whatever we wanted ;) ;) ;)

I wanted her badly and I was in awe that this sexy girl from the halls of my school day dreams was licking my tongue. So when she stopped the (lengthy) make out session to say "lets do something else," I was in dismay. No, no, no I thought, I guess we can watch TV or go for a walk or something, but I'd much rather keep making out and rubbing our clothed bodies together. (Un)Luckily we didn't do something else, and continued to make out until our jaws were sore and mouths fully explored. Face Palm.

It wasn't until about a year later that I was struck by an epiphany, 'SHE WANTED THE D.' And I shared my realization with a friend who was shocked, baffled and mortified by my neglect in regards to the needs of man and woman. I too pained.

Wasn't the last time something like this happened either. I can recall at least 5 times off the top of my head where I was alone with a girl cuddling and left it at that. Some of those instances we had striped down to our underwear. Double Godzilla Face Palm.

The world is a bounty of opportunity for those who are both aware and willing to take action.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

I've always had a fetish for smashing girls with boyfriends, so emotionally, it's a huge greenlight for me. But I know clearly now if she's saying it because she feels obliged or if it's a rejection. Her tone says it all, really. Most of the time now I just ask her how long they've been together, tell her I'm jealous of him, give her a hug, tell her she's a wonderful woman, and wish her a good life. Only when I know she's thirsty for cock do I keep going. More about efficiency than anything. Also I like making girls feel good.

Your situations do sound infuriating. I feel ya, man. A good facepalm will wake you up and make you more keen on further opportunities.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Mike's picture

Loved your podcast interview and this is an awesome post!

I still remember it... I was talking to this smoking hot latina and she wasn't having any of me. Then two girls I knew came to the bar. I ditched the latina and started talking to them with good energy. Then I turn around and the latina is displaying herself to me in peacock style. Leaned back against the couch, totally smoldering with sexual energy. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, and continued talking to my friends.

Fucking fail! It's so funny. Girls say they're "so obvious" with guys and they're RIGHT. We guys are fucking clueless sometimes!

And the rejecting a girl because she was once mean to me... I do that all the time. But you're right. What's better "revenge" than smashing that pussy? Keep 'em coming man!

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

Literally fucked up one of my more potentially hotter lays last year with that line. She was a dancer and off her shift, but kept chatting me up. I knew she liked me but was way too uptight about reputation in the situation so I didn't push the envelope but realized that after I exited conversation she was still looking at me.

I think I said "you checking me out or something?" She just gave me this disappointed look, waited a few seconds and then left. I got another chance a few months later but blew it. Lol.

Yeah, next time a girl does that, extend your hand and pull her in. Or give her a "come hither" motion. Or if you're feeling really ballsy, just walk up to her, grab her hand and get the fuck out of there.

Glad you liked the article and podcast. I've got tons in the pipeline right now.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Explozive Results's picture

I notice I auto-reject myself when the girl doesn't appear to be of a legal breeding age. But then I think, what if she just looks young?

Maybe I should start asking for ID...

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

"Legal breeding age." What the fuck haha.

Met this really cute girl at a rap concert in November. She was super bubbly and nervously attracted, so I assumed she was inexperienced. Lost track of her but ran into her leaving the venue and quickly suggested coffee. She excitedly agreed and I asked her if she was going out that night; she shook her head and something about it made me ask "wait...how old are you?"

17. Fuck. I gave her a hug, told her to find me in a year, and wished her a farewell. Definitely ask ages if you're uncertain. Not sure if she would have told me had I not asked.

You'd be surprised how many 14-17 year old girls fuck and date guys in their late 20s and even 30s. I'm happy the girls who've told me about it didn't get these guys in trouble for statutory rape, but it's one of those "dark secrets" about younger women that you don't find out until women start opening up to you more. Most guys would lose their shit if they found out how likely it was their girlfriend fucked a 30 year old when they were 15. One girl I know fucked her teacher her last two years of high school, oftentimes during school hours.

But ya, point is, ask for ID.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

ManOfSteel's picture

Great article, very inspirational.

Mr.Green's picture

What about auto-rejecting yourself because you're insecure about your dick size? This is one that I do constantly.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

Puberty hit me late so I dealt with this for a few years. All the dudes around me had beards and were shagging bitches while I was just getting pubic hair. It's definitely a hard insecurity to overcome, but here's a really weird example that should help you out.

My dad is not well endowed at all but he's fucked tons of bitches. I've even seen girls he's smashed joke about it and he just admits it and moves on. He's a super whacky guy with some borderline traits and I haven't seen him bend frame to anyone but me in the past few years. Really tough guy who's seen a lot of shit. You think he lets that get in his way? Naw. Plus he just makes up for it by eating really good pussy.

You're not going to change your dick size, but here's a few tips

1. Use it as a joke with girls; they'll love you for it, especially when they finally see it ("here's a real man who's not afraid to joke about his little dick").

2. Get really dominant. How wet you'll get her will make up for all the inches in the world - remember, women get off on fantasy more than looks.

3. Lift weights and improve your cardio with boxing/mma. You'll have such a ragingly hard dick that it won't matter if it's small - a short spear of flesh.

4. Use it as a fuel.

5. Learn to eat pussy.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Lawliet's picture

Hey Hector,

On the forums, you said you approached 100 girls a day before.
I'm aiming for 20 girls a day and having problems having to move from one place to another to approach girls to make that quota. Reasons such as to make sure other girls didn't see me approaching (any carryover effects) and also to make sure there's enough girls. I only approach one sets.

I'm completely baffled by your number.
How did you approach 100 a day? What were some things you did?
What's your secret, bro

Lawliet

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

If you're having trouble with volume, then I'm assuming you're not in a city.

Spend a few hours at a shopping mall, you should be able to do 20 approaches EASY. Any decent night out at bars/clubs can easily give you 50 in a few hours. But usually a girl will bite or I'll get enough numbers and I don't need to do a billion approaches.

There's no secret, man. There's a girl? Approach.

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Lawliet's picture

Thanks bro,

Lawliet

Lawliet's picture

I found myself doing this too.
A girl doesn't reply and then suddenly replies my a week ago text.
I would wait a few days before replying. Not sure if that's good.

But let's say you texted to meet that week and she texts you back next week without addressing the "Let's meet part" but addresses the latter part of your texts. What does that mean about her and how she views it and what should we do if not auto reject?

Cheers bro!

JimmyJams's picture

I'd say at this point I'm a high-intermediate. So, I am by no means incredibly badass at this. But I think it boils down to 3 options:

1) She isn't in the right state to plan ahead. There is an energy barrier. This can be because her life is genuinely very tightly packed and making room is hard, it can be because she's disorganized, it can be because she's stressed out, etc. The point is, it could be something more to do with her emotions about planning than her emotions about you. If it's this issue, then you'll have much better chances to get her if you play the "what are you doing right now?" card, and getting her out that night.

2) She isn't attracted to or comfortable with you enough to pull the trigger, but thinks she might eventually be. In this case, it's a bit hard, but having a couple of good phone calls over the course of a couple of days can help her decide.

3) She doesn't want you for sex/dating, but instead for validation. In this case, there usually isn't much you can do given the limited tools you have for escalation, attraction, and comfort without being there in front of her.

Funsho's picture

Bro, you spoke to me! This like the only article I needed to read to improve my life. I think my biggest mistake is auto rejecting myself. Thanks once again for a great article!

SGent's picture

Hector,
I am currently changing jobs which moves me a ways for my current job. Yesterday I ate at one of the restaurants I frequent. We eat in the bar where we know the bartenders. I told Kristen the bartender that I was leaving and Monday was my last day. She says, "You will be back without these guys rights?" We are sitting at a high bar table. She leans over on the table and just stares at me for like a minute. I said, "You changed your hair. Like it." Then my buddies started talking about her hair which broke the moment. She said, "You come in on Monday for your last time."

Then later on before we leave she comes by and demands, "You come in on Monday.". I respond, "Yes Ma'am.".

Does this sound like friendly banter or is she giving me signs of interest?

SGent

Annonymous's picture

Hi Hector,

what was most interesting to me in the whole article because it shocked me the most was how seemingly bad your haha... text was. I mean I get it is not the best text, but that bad?
Could you maybe explain why and the rationale behind it? That would be extremely helpful to me.
Thanks so much!

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

If I'm reading your question right, you're wondering why my "haha sure. When?" text was so bad?

Girl walks up to you and says "wanna fuck?"

You respond, "when?"

She's thinking "what the fuck, dude? All you had to say was yes." And with bittie here, all I had to do was say yes. No game. No tricks. Just yes. If me, the supposed biggest player on campus, is too thickheaded to just say "yes," then I must not be as smooth as she heard. Expectations didn't match up with reality. Her pussy dried up.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Jack's picture

Good article, man, and definitely true based on my experiences! I definitely found some nice little nuggets in there.

One thing that I do have to say though is that if a girl rejects me initially and then decides to be interested at some random point in the future, she better be WAY out of my league. That's just too much BS to deal with. Just my 2 cents.

Jack

Mason's picture

So I had a girl everyone would consider a 9/10 who knew me from social circle approach me and blatantly declare interest and make out with me at the bar I work at. Very very hot amazing huge breasts nice ass and beautiful face, Brazilian girl who is a paid model. Being probably the youngest guy in town to get hired behind the bar at one of the hippest club/my looks intrigued her I guess. Took her to another area of the bar and made out a lot, then took her to a private area and tried to escalate, touched her pussy and sucked her nipple but she wouldn't have it. Went out with her and drank a week later, went home with her, tried to escalate to sex, wouldn't have it as she "felt sick from drinking"...nor the next morning. I was naked in her bed with her telling me how nice my dick was. She texted me first after that date asking to meet again. I had work and was busy and tried to meet on a different day, but was leaving for a snowboarding trip say a week after the date and we never got together before I left. I told her about the trip and made it OBVIOUS I was trying to see her "before I leave town for my trip" but it didn't happen. She texted me asking why I wasn't at work (the bar) which I never responded to) and called and texted me a few days after that telling me to come pick up my ID I left. Phone cracked on trip so I got back to her once I got home, asked how her Christmas went, etc and she said to come get my id whenever. I responded saying fuck the id I want you. She says "I'm emotionally unavailable and have no time for men now"

So I guess another guy just beat me to the punch and she was trying to let me down easy? Or auto rejection on her part?
It seems I get very attractive girls super interested who won't put out and then they just drift off.....shit always happens it sucks.

Brian Ledo's picture

My problem is foreign chicks.I live n the dc area, and with gentrification and immigrants its very diverse.I am African American. If I was darkskinned with dreadlocks I wouldn't trip because i'd have a fleet of white chicks, Spanish chicks and light skinned sisters that be feigning for tha chocolate. Anyway im not, im on tha lighter side.my problem is that a lot of foriegn chicks aren't supposed to date out their race(unless its a white dude with money)especially African Americans (Ethiopians, Al Salvadoran, etc) But everyday I see them grinning and smiling at me,switching their phat assess and such. But I figure whats the point if their culture is racist. I might smile and say hi, but other than that that's it.do you think I could be missing out on something? And what about regular chicks with good jobs? lot of transplant yuppies around here with government jobs and such.They like to flirt too sometimes, but I feel they're out my league money and status wise.im a barber by tha way.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

When I get tan, I look hella Hispanic, but I'm on the lighter side of Latino, too. I make up for it by dressing really European and growing out my hair. Now I get girls asking me all the time if I'm from Spain or Italy.

I grew up with mostly black friends for a majority of my childhood, learned a good deal of my game from black guys and really dig their ultra-aggressive style. The most prolific seducer I've ever met is a big black dude. He dresses clean, is super direct, and spends a lot of time just standing around. He's got the toughness of a thug, but is classy. He's pretty dark, so the contrast between his personality and look is killer with girls, whether they're white or not.

Since you're on the lighter side, you have to do more work to be "black" for girls. Do you want to gain the pros/cons of that identity? Well, you probably know how to dress and act to pull that off. Just do that more and you'll get those white girls who like black guys, are trying to rebel, etc.

But if you're thinking shit like "what's the point if their culture is racist?" you're going to get in your own way. Like I said, I'm Hispanic but mostly sleep with white girls. That's because I look Hispanic (so I get the physical attraction) but act "white." I grew up around white people, my mom is white, cops think I'm white (funny story with that one), etc. Well that's when I'm talking. My assertiveness and touchiness is very Italian/Spanish. It's a fun mix that gives the excitement of a foreign guy but I'm not so polarizing that girls have to reject me to save face (in fact, the white girls' families usually love me). I never let it bother me because it's never been an issue.

That being said, being Hispanic is easier than being Black. But you're on the lighter side of things, so it won't be as hard as it is for a darker guy.

If you want to experiment, here's what I'd do:

The way you wrote that comment? Talk like that. Brash, direct and full of black colloquialisms. Girls love when you knock them off their pedastals with nicknames like "yuppies," "bitties," "honies," etc.

As for your fashion? Go clean but edgy. No XXL T-shirts and oversized jeans. Nice fitting Ts, some dope Jordans, and low but well cut jeans with maybe a rip or two.

Game? Shift between ultra-assertive and stand-offish. That's what the black dude I learned from did. 90% of the night he's just chilling, then when a girl eyefucks him (like the girls you say are), he gives them a "come hither" motion with his finger or he points at them and says "who are you?" A few minutes of conversation and he grabs their number and texts them, asking if they wanna grab a hotel. They'll expect it from you since you're black.

Oh and do day game when none of these bitches' families are lurking. They won't care one iota about what their parents think when you're dicking them down in a hotel after meeting them on the street.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Sub-Zero's picture

Hector, thinI you could write an article on your boys game and explain it in more detail?

I'm a darker skin dude and would like to know some more game. Thanks.

Sayan's picture

hey hector,

I am a fan of yours and really love the way you deconstruct things in side out.
Well, now I am a 22 yr old guy from India and practicing game last 6 months. I would love to know how to add Italian/latin touch in my personality and looks. I am poet and writer myself with shoulder long dark hair , so often called as "romantic". now I would love to add some latin flavor in my game. can you suggest some ways which can help me to accomplish my goal? If you can recall some movies from where I can pick up "latin" game please do mention..:) :)
regards,

Joseph Patin's picture

This is a subject that needs an article in itself. There is a 1-strike rule that is commonly used because it prevents you from chasing and wasting time, and at best becoming her beta orbiter. No man wants to be just friends with a girl.

The 1-strike rule is if she flakes out or starts ignoring you, delete her from all platforms, but you likely know that already. It's under the assumption she's got low-no interest or seeing someone else. Hey, she wouldn't forget a date with Brad Pitt, and men who read these articles wouldn't forget a date with Katy Perry or Sofia Vergara. This gets raised to 2 strikes if she re-engages because you have the power.

My concern with re-engaging is that it frames you as the chaser. No good. Isn't it true that if you get flaked on with no counter offer, or she stops returning your calls, you fucked up somewhere along the way or the guy she was really interested in made himself available?

I like the concept of rage-fucking a girl into oblivion, but doesn't she have to be attracted and interested in you? Even then, what if she doesn't let things get to that point? A woman has to want sex from you first, otherwise, everything else is moot. You'll be a creep at worst, beta attention provider at best.

Chasing and persisting are worlds apart. Most guys would say if she rejects you, delete her number and move on. It's tough being a new guy a woman meets, especially when you aren't celebrity status.

I meet most of my women online. I give 2 weeks tops, and then they get NEXTED. I make sure they know I've moved on and they had their chance. Funny how they respond to you when you give 'em the boot, but not to a date invite or phone call. Why the hell should a man waste time talking with a woman who shows little signs of interest? Actions speak louder than words. Inaction means you ain't gettin' action. Like I have a boyfriend or a flake out can either be a test or a rejection, 90% of guys would just assume it's a lost cause and drop her immediately, as women reject men in the least confrontational way possible.

It's about getting sex and dates. Interest is only when a woman says yes and her actions back it up. Anything else is just fluff.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

Joseph,

I noticed your comment the night it went up. I started working on a response right away and ended up spending 20 hours on it over the course of one week racking my brain, trying to break down the subject to such a detailed degree that no question would be unanswered. I was also gaming a girl who would be perfect for the article, but I reached an impasse with her and just submitted the article at a whopping 24 pages (nearly 8,000 words). Then, a few days after submitting it to our editor, a splendidly poetic event happened to wrap up the article.

I added the experience in and submitted it. Then our editor got back to me with a few notes and I realized

1. I needed to split it up into multiple articles

2. There was so much left to be said

Between other projects and life, I've been putting it off, but I'm about to tackle this series with every ounce of knowledge I've got on the subject. Right now, I'm thinking at least 5-9 articles, depending on how crazy I get with specifics. I've also turned into a dog again with regards to persistence, trying to get some fresh examples in a post-college environment.

It might take me a week or two to finish, but I just wanted to let you know that besides my College Book, this is my main focus right now, because it's so fundamental to everything we do here that a detailed guide is not only desired, but necessary.

It's coming, homie.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Keith's picture

Thanks Hector.
I have been there. I auto-rejected myself so many times. I was close to 280 pounds and looked unhealthy and assumed no girl would be interested.

Then one night at dinner the waitress starts telling me how her boyfriend went out of town to a dumb game on her birthday weekend. I was a regular at this restaurant and the other girls knew me. I realized 10 minutes after I left she wanted some revenge sex. Dumb Right??

Fast Forward about a month later the waitress is sitting at a table eating with her boyfriend. I look over and..... He was a Big Guy like me!! At that moment I felt so unbelievably stupid.

I was kicking myself.
I told myself never again. I didn't know the term Auto-Reject.

Now 2 years later I have dropped lots of weight and looking better. Still making mistakes but hopefully not as many and not as severe.

Good luck guys,
Keith

AJ's picture

Some of us never get approached, asked out or even noticed by women - let alone asked for sex. If you're lucky enough to have had a woman - any woman - find you attractive enough that she comes out and tells you so, good for you - I'm happy for you. Just remember that some of us never even get to 'auto reject' stage because we're permanently invisible to all women and have zero hope of this ever changing.

Black_Angel's picture

Like title tell when I was in Secondary shcool hummm 9 grades. The most beautiful blond of my boss go see me at school library to introduce herself. And I tell her to scram in believing that some guys was hide to make me a joke. I was find myself not so beautiful and could believe that the most beautiful girl come to talk to me.

Today If I would remember her name I will look to find her facebook account and give her excuse and tell her that she was the most beautiful girl for me and I was affraid and I act stragely and she has nothing do bad. So It look like a big auto rejection from me.

Anon2's picture

Giving a chance to women who rejected you? Please, have some self-respect smh

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