7 Reasons People Will Try to Tool You | Girls Chase

7 Reasons People Will Try to Tool You

Chase Amante

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people tool you
People will tool you for a variety of reasons. You don’t belong, you’re a soft target, you’re a threat to a member... and other excuses.

"Hey dude, nice hair! Did you cut that yourself? Ha ha ha!"

"Hey man, can you move over? You're taking up too much room."

"Excuse me bro, but your girl is seriously cute. How long have you known each other?"

Whether it's in the schoolyard, the nightclub, the public bus, or the office, other people trying to tool you is a mondo bother. Your threat radar should have perked up going through those lines above. They state a guy's intentions to rain on your parade... And whether you see him as a threat or not, you're going to have to deal with him one way or another.

Now, note right up front: this article is not about HOW to handle threats like this; for that, see the articles below. In these, I've given you a full complement of tools to dispose of challengers like this in a split:

Rather, what this article is about is what causes challengers like this to swarm over to you.

What incites them to veer off of whatever it is they were doing, and come approach you... Whether to feel you out, test you for weakness, or even launch a full on social or romantic assault against you.

Because once you identify the primary reasons other people try to tool you, you may then take steps to avoid the need to even deal with these disruptions in the first place.

So, I present to you the seven (7) reasons people will try to tool you... And what steps to take to discourage them from trying.

In we go.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Jimbo's picture

Instructive article.

To me the best way to keep my status high in the group (which goes hand in hand with not getting tooled) has always been to keep on providing my traditional value to the group -- mine being fun, boisterousness, and shrewd views in certain topics -- all the while setting limits, having opinions, and not allowing myself to be used or pushed. It's about being both needed/wanted and respected. If you do that, not only you won't be tooled, but the guys will stick by you when someone (of or outside the group) tries to tool you and shut him down right away. They'll also wingman you when you're out picking up in group. And of course you'll reciprocate.

Also I think group dynamics slightly vary from one to another. For example, some groups don't have a clear alpha. I have three 'regular pals', but neither one of us is truly the alpha. Attempts by one of us to call all the shots are usually swiftly met by a growing disinterest to outright shunning until he tones it down. So it's pretty much stayed this way for years now. Obviously the larger the group the more necessarily for clear leader to emerge in order to keep a semblence of order. But for smaller ones (like four people) it's better to make group decisions more or less unanimously.

Chase Amante's picture


Right, good observation. Smaller groups of just-guys can often have unclear ranks. There aren't enough other members to provide consensus on who outranks whom, so unless one or more of the guys willingly takes a sub-rank, it remains fuzzy / rank-less.

If more people join the group (or the group merges with another), you'll start seeing ranks form up then. Then one of the guys becomes the alpha, another becomes the beta, another the gamma, etc. Unanimous voting works better in small groups; if a small 2- to 4-person group can reach unanimous consensus on most things, it's a group that probably isn't long for the world.


Carlos's picture

How are you Chase?

I can't wait for your new product... Seeing you guys delivering advice in "real" life I believe will be very beneficial to those like me who really need to SEE things being explained to really get a feel for them. It also makes it look more professional, and more credible because those giving the advice are actually sexy!!

To my question, Chase. I had sort of an epiphany where I remembered a complete change in my social life when I decided to visualize myself fucking girls and being amazing. It led to a complete 180 at school and my life in general.

I was really hoping that you could give your thoughts on the matter because honestly, your opinion is invaluable. I wrote in on the boards here https://www.girlschase.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=15648

Much apprish Chase ;)


Chase Amante's picture


Glad you're excited, man! We've got the product just about ready, but I still need to organize all the tech and get our marketing set up for it. Just a lot more stuff to do than I have time in the day right now...

So, yes, visualizations will do that for you.

Not sure if you've read my articles on them, but worth checking out if you haven't:

Crashes after peaks are common. When you start to learn emotion regulation (like what I talk about in the article on depression), you'll usually discover you want to remove not just depression, but also euphoria, too.

With your story, too, at that age you'll tend to be super emotional. I know I was. I was up and down between 'god' and 'forgotten' all the time. When you're tying your self-worth to external validation from others, and relying on them extending invitations or complimenting you, etc., you yield control of your emotions to external events you have only limited control over. This subsides with time; especially once you're past your early twenties or so (longer for some people, shorter for others, but it's usually about there).


Someguy's picture

This stuff makes a lot of sense. And it makes it easy to be active. No shame in leaving under certain circumstances. There have been a few situations in my life where knowing these concepts would have made the ride a lot smoother.

Also allows to see that "mobbing", so long as it is not only one toxic individual doing it, likely means a person is simply not fitting into a group, and is implicitly asked to "get it" or leave.

Chase Amante's picture


Right. As soon as the group starts mobbing, it's time to exit.

If it's a big group, still important to mind factions. e.g., you may have a vocal part of the mob against you, while another part of the group supports you but doesn't want to get dragged into the drama. In that case, there can be an opportunity to rally the supporting side to subdue the other side, or, in the case of irreconcilable differences, split them off and form a new group.

In the case of the latter approach, oftentimes you'll even feel they're relieved to be rid of the other folks they don't agree with.


Tyler 's picture

Glad people are benefitting from you. Keep up the good work!

Chase Amante's picture


Splendid to see. Thanks for sharing!

(and lol at the guy in the comments who suspects advertising. You'd think we'd have asked them to just go ahead and insert the link in the post if so..!)


Tyler's picture

Precisely my thoughts.. haha... and thanks a bunch for all the help... I'm so glad I found this site before RSD (no offence). I'm from India and game is non-existent here! As a result, by working on some fundamentals and becoming more congruent over the last 2 years it's become like shooting fish in a barrel! Thanks to you and RSD Tyler (the good parts) ... also it would be great if you could do an article on day game vs night game! Personally, I find night game a bit too artificial with the only objective of an ONS (meh.... bad effort reward ratio... but that's just me!) Day game seems to net better quality leads that actually lead to value addition and a better quality harem... haha (ahem!) .. so would love to hear your take on the two sides of the metaphorical coin and how to divide free time between day approaches and club game but my question is only from a ROI on time spent perspective... onward and upward!

Chase Amante's picture

Very happy to hear it! (on the fundamentals... don't want to sound like we're panning RSD ;)

Day game vs. night game, got it noted down. Should be a fun one; may get it written up soon.

UPDATE: here's the article: "What's Better: Day Game or Night Game?"


Tyler's picture

Thanks Chase! Looking forward to it!

Lonewolf_7's picture

How about dealing with coworkers. I’m not a very social person so I have some coworkers messing with me. I don’t really want to be part of their group so it’s not like I’m trying. I don’t have a choice of leaving since there is barely any jobs in my area.

MT's picture

If you dislike the group dynamic so much that you don't want to be a part of it, everyone will advise you to take the L. Nevertheless I'll do my best to still add some value here even tho it's 2yrs later now.

Figure out for yourself if your "I don't want to be part of the group" is secretly a kind of auto-rejection VS genuine.

If you find yourself auto-rejecting, you may want to:
- use the opportunity to become a more social person by reading things like Girlschase, make the job your playground where you can test new things
- get some professional support if you suspect yourself to have a kind of disorder such as on the autism spectrum

Now, if you did quattro-check that it's not your ego talking, then:
Tactical empathy!
You use your brain like a detective does.

Learn to understand the very important difference between empathy and sympathy.
The detective does not empathize with the murderer because he approves or likes them.
He's simply using it as an instrument to achieve his objective.
By using empathy you can develop an (your) "edge".
Could even use it as a weapon if things were to get out of hand.

Warning: if you were to have autistic traits then such cognitive empathy can proof to be an extreme challenge.
So know thyself, and make a firm decision of diving deeper into self-development, with or without a mentor.

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