How to Have Sex with Blonde Bombshells | Girls Chase

How to Have Sex with Blonde Bombshells

Chase Amante

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21

There’s an undeniable allure to the blonde bombshell.

Hers is a unique spot in the Western pantheon – with her own sexual iconography, even; one that makes her tremendously desirable to a large segment of the male population.

blonde bombshells

And if you want a gal like her, you may find yourself hitting the same obstacle again and again: why does she keep turning her nose up at me?

It’s a question we’ve been seeing here a lot recently... some of it from minority guys, those of Indian or Middle Eastern birth or descent; some of it as well from plain old apple pie Americans.

They want to know how you get these girls.

The standard response is “get your fundamentals in order, get your game in order, and you will get the women you want – including the blonde bombshells.” And it is correct.

Yet, one of the things you do learn along the way is that different sorts of girls need different sorts of details.

In the case of blonde bombshells, they’re more like punk girls with piercings and tattoos, or feminist girls with closely-cropped blue hair and unshaved armpits, than most guys seem to recognize. Because the blondes men in North America lose their shirts over are not the blondes who were born that way; rather, they’re ones who decided they wanted to fit into a certain mold, then did.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

The Man Down-Under's picture

Another great post. Just want to thank you and your crew for the great website. I don't have much experience with women yet, but y'all are helping me avoid wasting a lot of time making mistakes.

A question: I'm in high school and I've recently asked a girl out via text, following the basic format provided by this site, and an the conversation went like this:

Me: Morning, (girl's name)!
(A couple of sentences of niceties).
Anyway, I was thinking we should get together sometime, maybe grab a bite or something. Want is you schedule like?

Girl: Yeah, sounds good. I don't know quite when I'll be free yet; I'll get back to you on that one.

That conversation went-down at the start of a five-day weekend, and we didn't bump into each other over that time. I never heard back from her, and so now I've got to go to school where we are assured to see each other (I'm currently living in Australia where the schools run differently than in the US, and my school there's only 100 students, so I quite literally see everyone at least once a day). I don't know whether to approach her and ask whether she found out when she was free (and risk appearing too needy), or just to wait for her to get back to me about it (I fear this will make it seem like she's leading).

Thanks in advance for any advice, and keep up the good work.

Adios

Luke V.'s picture

Great to see fellow high schooler here. The thing about highschool is that it is more different game than college or "real life"; girls are less mature and do not know what they want. They value their reputation than you most of the time, and will always opt for saving her face than going for her dream guy.

That said, there are 2 possibilities

The first one is that she doesn't want to meet you and is just ignoring you. This is probably not true since she said it's a "good idea", but girl changes her decision with her emotion, so you never know.

The second one is that she simply forgot to get back to you or she is afraid to look needy (girls are people like us!). In both situations I would suggest bringing the topic casually at school when you are talking about light hearted stuff. However, again I suggest you text her and bring the topic up in a casual way rather than talking to her directly, because high school puts much more importance on reputation (only 100 students? That's low) and by talking directly to her at school with friends in proximity, there is high chance she bails out.

That's my two cents! I've used this tactic to date some natural blondes and artificial ones even though I'm asian. Good luck to you brother.

AusGuyInSoCal's picture

Hey Man From Down Under,

I'm a fellow Australian, although currently I live in the US.

Firstly, you may still be in with a shot. Australian women, particularly during the high school years, are very upfront when it comes to shutting men down - they don't sugar coat anything. Given you're in high school I'd say stick at it but in a socially savvy way. I'll address this below.

As you noted, high school social norms (such as size in your instance) differ in the US compared to Australia. This extends to high school dating norms. Using the phrase "dating norms" in the context of Australian high school is actually misleading because young Australians, particularly in high school, don't "date" in the US sense of the word, at least generally not until they've made out at a party.

My advice: don't bring it up at all for a while (maybe let a week or a bit more roll by), but slip it in when the two of you are having some playful banter. Definitely don't mention it straight away or you WILL seem needy - wait. This is where you need to consider your broader reputation, particularly considering the small size of your high school. Reputations are typically hard won and easily lost... but the opposite applies when the reputation is that of being the creepy guy. Moreover, remaining your fun-loving self even though she's left you hanging in the wings - that's the sign of a confident, self-assured man and she'll find that intriguing.

Some general advice on pulling girls in Australia while in high school:

1. The guys who did the best with girls when I was in high school in Australia were the conversationalists with solid fundamentals (no surprises there). They'd chat with girls before, during and after school, laying the groundwork to make their move at the next party. High school game in Australia is a bit more of a slow burn than, say, dating as a professional adult in Southern California.

2. It can't really be helped, but given Australia's even distribution of wealth and egalitarian nature (that is, no one is poor, there's a massive middle and upper-middle class and very few are rich with everyone entitled to a "fair go"), people tend to hook-up with those of a similar level of attractiveness, unlike the US where you see mixed-attractiveness couples all the time. Therefore solid/exceptional fundamentals and style are an absolute MUST in Australia. A good mate of mine who's got great chat recently lost a ton of weight and is now plowing through his list of girls who always liked him, but not in "that way" until he got ripped.

3. If you can get a girl out on a date, that's brilliant and a clear sign she likes you (as mentioned before, Australian girls are more than happy to say no) - but don't beat yourself up if she's a bit aloof. One-on-one dates during high school before a party make-out in Australia are really uncommon. That being said, if you're the only guy asking girls out then you've got a solid point of difference - just ensure that you remain socially savvy at all times and don't get thrown under the bus, branded as a creepy guy to serve a girl's social status rise - it's happens!

4. If possible make friends with a girl (preferably with cute friends). Access to parties is the key to success with girls while in high school in Australia (and let's face it, the world over). With a girl as a good friend you'll be invited to events which otherwise may have been closed-off to you that provide much needed social proof. Unfortunately for me, I didn't learn this until late in my university years but have more than made up for it since.

Hope this helps mate.

Cheers

AusGuyInSoCal

The Man Down-Under's picture

Thanks for all the advice guys, this really clears some stuff up. I'm actually an American who moved to Australia, but I was unaware with the dating format so that stuff will really help.

Things actually to out okay with that girl. she met up with me at school and told me when she was free, and that she was sorry she didn't text me back but she had run out of credit. So things turn out great. Or they would had...

But her white knight friend, an extremely racist card who didn't like me since I am American anyway, found my comment and must have put two and two together when she told him she was gonna go out with me, and told her I must be some sort out sex addicted pervert(7 billion people in the world and he has to be the one to read that comment) .
Needless to say she broke that date with me, but at least she had enough social grace as to not spread the word around town. The white knight friend on the other hand had no problem with spreading the word, so now the girl's all avoid me like plaque because I'm a 'sex addicted pervert' (which of course, I'm not)

On the plus side, I'm a hero with the guys now, who have all started looking at the site because of this ordeal, so maybe this little part of Australia might just start changing for the better now. Who knows.

Adios
The Man Down-Under

AusGuyInSoCal's picture

Hey Chase,

A great article that I'm going to view as the de facto "How to pickup girls in SoCal" piece I've been bothering you about for some time now.

One observation - your point on conformity is spot-on. To use a clothing example, if I wear my edgier European styles I get no where with blonde bombshells (in SoCal). But when I rock a tank top it's game-on from the get-go.

Now for some questions:

1. Given your sales/marketing experience and the emphasis you've placed on trend conformity for blonde bombshells, do you view them as innovators, early adopters or early majority?

2. An obsession with trend conformity is the hallmark of the blonde bombshell's cousin, the "Basic Bitch" (i.e. girls in short-shorts, side-boob tanks and floppy hats/Native American headdress posting duck-face peace-sign selfies on Instagram from Coachella). I think close to all of your advice equally applies to this trend-obsessed female sub-culture. Just wondering if you have any views on that.

3. To what extent do you think the above advice is culturally specific to North America as opposed to other parts of the world with large white populations? Being Australian, I know that with a few local-twists it would apply in my homeland. If any readers from the UK/Ireland, Europe or South Africa care to chime in on this you're welcome to as well.

One final note: every single sentence of this article is applicable to landing Scandinavian women who live in North America and Australia. While they're (mostly) naturally blonde, they play up to it in a big way when abroad. Swedes not infrequently gloat to me that they're the most beautiful women on earth. Don't take the bait and pass the shit-test by simply replying that you prefer Argentine/Brazilian women and they'll be glued to you for the evening.

Cheers

AusGuyInSoCal

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Aus Guy-

If we’re classing them by diffusion of innovations, most of them would definitely be in “early majority”. They have a wait-and-see approach with early adopters, because they’re looking for safety and security, and a trend is guaranteed yet at that stage. But by “late majority” it’s already becoming passé; by “laggard” she wouldn’t be caught dead with it.

I’d lump the “basic bitch” types in as close cousins of blonde bombshells, yeah. Basically the same profile, except that they are too lazy to go and get their hair bleached. The upshot is that they’re less strict on their conformist archetype preferences and are more likely to “cheat” on those standards than a bombshell is, especially for discreet hookups no one will ever know about.

I don’t see as many women bleaching their hair in Europe (maybe it’s more prevalent in England, but I’ve spent little time there)… although I can’t say I’m surprised to hear it about Australia. Haven’t visited there yet, and the only place I ever run into Australian women is Bali, but I do see a lot of bleached blondes there, yeah. As for Scandinavian girls, I never run into them in North America for some reason, but when I meet them in Europe or Asia they’re always real sweethearts, so it might be an environmental thing.

Chase

William Gupta's picture

The part about nerdy interest made me laugh out loud. This is because when I was in undergrad I was president of chess society and I use to girls that. Girls who weren't in a sorority thought it was really cool, this is partially because I was a muscular guy with long hair so it didn't look like I would play chess.

But when I would tell sorority girls this, they literally lost all interest and walked away. This goes with your realization of how much is this girl invested in fitting in. After reading this that makes a whole lot more sense. These girls aren't looking for the eccentric cool guy. They are looking for the guy who is just like everyone else.

I am actually going to bring this up to a bottle blonde next time she's dismissive

"I bet you want a guy who looks just like everyone else, so you can finally fit in"

Of course in a playful way but I will see how it goes.

Great post Chase

-Gupta

Author
Chase Amante's picture

William-

Yeah, it’s kind of a mindset shift, isn’t it?

You go around thinking you’ve got this really cool persona set up, and of course every girl ought to be impressed by it. But then you realize that what’s smoking cool to some girls is stupid and lame to others.

It’s weird, and kind of trippy. Fun to realize you need to adopt different flavors to do better with different kinds of girls though – nice way to keep on your toes and realize you need to innovate and reinvent yourself every so often ;)

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

You seem to say that your default positioning is as a "traveler from a distant land". Can you expand this a bit?

The reason I ask is because I've been working in China for almost three years now, but I'll be returning to the US soon. During my short visits home over time, I've been doing random errands like going to the dentist, picking up hard-to-taobao stuff, etc. and will talk to people. As soon as I mention where I've been and what I've been up to, girls perk up with some version of "wow, what's it like over there?" I could talk all day about China stuff, but I think it must not be the best way to get girls into bed.

Could you give some advice about how you capitalize on the interest you get in these situations?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

When I’m in the States, I like to tell girls I’m from this country originally, on the East Coast, but I haven’t lived here in years and every time I come back to visit friends it’s like I’m entering an alien society all over again.

Basically, set it up that I’m here because of friends (social proof), I’m not staying long (haven’t been here in years, every time I come back), and I’m different / used to different social norms (so don’t expect me to act like all the other American guys).

Works well with women who are thirsty for a taste of the exotic or the unknown, which is a large segment of women. If they’re that sort, it’ll progress into them asking me some about my travels and me telling some stories, and then me asking them about their travels and/or where they’d like to travel, what they’d like to do, get them to imagine just dropping everything and running off (maybe together), etc.

Some women, like most bombshells, this doesn’t work on at all, because to them there’s America, which is awesome, and the rest of the world, which is pretty lame, and if you leave America and go to other places you’re probably pretty lame too. Ew. Why would you go to XYZ country? The only places outside America that is MAYBE understandable are Mexico (go to Cancun). Even Canada is kind of wompy. And England, what… do you think you’re a dandy?

Occasionally you’ll meet a bombshell with repressed desires for travel and the exotic and you can really bring it out of her. That can be a LOT of fun, because the circles she’s in never talk about these things and even look down on them, and you just open all that up and now she’s locked into this intimate conversation with you about things she loves and never gets to discuss. Kinda rare, though.

Me being a writer ties into the “traveler from a distant land” thing, because everyone wants to know how you make money, and I can tell them I write. So I just tell the truth: I find myself a quiet café somewhere in some city I’ve never visited before, tuck myself away in the back or near a big window in the front, depending on my mood, and order a pot of tea, then get to work. And then I write about whatever I want to write about, and people pay me for it. And then when she asks where she can see my writing I just say no, no, it’s nothing you’d have heard of before and you probably couldn’t even find it online. I’m closer to starving artist than well-known one. But perhaps someday I’ll write something for you. Etc.

As for capitalizing on the interest, pretty straightforward: get her interested, then start escalating investment. She’s staring into your eyes and asking for a story, you start giving it, then interrupt yourself and say, “Let’s go take a seat, we’ll talk over here,” and then sit with her. It goes on an hour or two and you say, “Let’s grab a nightcap somewhere quieter; we can keep talking [or, when I used to have souvenirs, “I’ll show you my souvenirs” – worked surprisingly well for me when I was new despite how lame it is… if she likes you, she just needs some kind of excuse for plausible deniability, doesn’t have to be the world’s best reason to be alone with someone].”

I wouldn’t talk too much about China unless she has an Asian fascination (e.g., she’s studied Asian culture, languages, really wants to go, etc.), since Western women typically view Asian women as “easy” for white men to get and if a guy goes there it’s probably because he can’t get laid over here. I’d stick to just talking about travel in general, or chat more about Spain, Greece, Italy, France, etc., if you’ve been there, since these are the countries Western women find fascinating and magical usually (i.e., French men are sexier to her than Chinese men, so France is cooler than China). Then get her to talk about herself and where she wants to go and the like.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Okay, asymmetric returns mean "lots of tiny wins and rare huge losses OR lot of tiny losses and rare huge wins" kind of thing.
People prefer to feel good as much as possible (or at least to minimize pain), but from the time perspective I know from college students like to say "it's better to feel ashamed for an hour than to be working for months", from the time perspective the one who is a go-getter spends much of his time out of his comfort zone, so it kind of looks like people feel they are making good choice.

Anonymous's picture

Personally, I prefer to jerk off by myself in front of my computer screen on saturday nights when everyone is going out rather than to conform myself to this type of superficial girl depicted in here. The fact is, when women show a hint of Hollywood-like "fakeness" and a snobbish attitude, I run away without ever looking back with lust. I don't need this in my life, because I respect myself. I understand that certain men dream of going out with those types of females and so that they try to conform to this certain mould depicted in here, but this is not for me.

When you know yourself, are 100% yourself and act with 100% integrity, not only you won't need to conform to any traits approved by this type of women, but you'll also attract a lot of hot women which might be hotter and more enjoyable than any "blonde bombshell". Women have a sixth sense and know instantly if a man is himself and an alpha male. Those "blonde bombshells" depicted in here are so brainwashed by the corporate world that they cope with their instinct to make sure the man they're pursuing fits into this superficial mould. Rather than appreciating their personality, they check on their superficial mental checklist to assure themselves that the man in front of them would be approved by the "STANDARDS".

The reality is that to be an alpha male who attracts women, you don't have to use game or tricks to be surrounded by women. You have to be 100% yourself and strip off all this bullshit we learn about women in the gaming industry. Sure, some women will respond positively to those gaming tricks. The women who only respond to gaming tactics aren't on my radar. I can feel them a mile away. I'm attracted to beauty, not mediocrity. One sincere, generous and beautiful woman (brunette, red head, blonde...) doesn't compete with thousands of those superficial Valley Girls described here as "blonde bombshells".

After reading the book "The Alabaster Girl" wrote by Zan Perrion, I've awoken to the world and to the women side of the game. I've learned a lot. The most important thing I've learned in this book is that to attract truly beautiful and generous women in our life, we have to strip off the layers of conditioning about men-women relationships and to be 100% ourselves. By strictly DOING NOTHING, you can be approached by dozens of hot women every day who will only wait for you to say hi and be yourself.

Anonymous's picture

I want to modify the question of Percy Hotspur in Shakespears Henry IV where he asks Glendower after saying "I can call spirits from the vasty deep" (you can google the answer it if you want) .
My modification: I can also read a book and learn a lot and that can every man, the question is does it WORK FOR YOU?
Sorry man, but your statement here sounds like the blabber of a nice guy................
But keep on reading this site. If you really want to learn the guys here will keep you out of mischief.

Anonymous's picture

You are spot on about me being a nice guy, but a few years late on the diagnosis. I used to be one of those nice guys. All the clichés depicted by the seduction community websites were present in my behaviour and personality. I was a nice guy because I hadn't cope with my oedipal complex yet. There is a close relationship between being a nice guy and the absence of psychological separation with one's mother.

the fact is that I don't go out often and that I don't have a girlfriend nor had one night stands in a long time. I have sharpened my sixth sense when being in presence of people and I can literally absorb every good and bad energies when I'm with them. What I came to realize is that this type of girl depicted in here usually sends narcissistic and really bad vibes to me (my perception may be, or some childhood injuries coming back to my consciousness may be...) and I'm not feeling well in their presence. I used to think it was because I was one of those AFC guys who hadn't man up (and I used to be one of them), but with all the inner work I've done on myself, I now know that these girls make me feel bad because they are trouble to me. Being an introvert and a cerebral person, I don't waste my time with those selfish and loudmouthed girls. Sure, sometimes I see one of those girls and I'd bang her right away, but I think that it's not worth it because there is plenty of sexy women walking everywhere that are generous and open to approaches. Those are the real women to me. At the opposite, those bombshells are little immature girls. When I hear them talk, it makes me cringe. I can't possibly think of having to develop a different (fake) personality just to be approved by them and not be truthful to myself.

Anyways, I've read a lot on gaming and applied those tricks in my dating and flirting life a few years ago. It "worked" for some time, but I was always having trouble being myself when I was doing those tricks and it would usually end up pretty bad for me. I felt that I was being "off" from my true self. I got dates and all, but women are intelligent and they know when you're using those gaming tricks and in the end, you are the one being manipulated like a puppet by them, even more if they are the blonde bombshells that are being approached dozens of times each day by AFCs.

Those are my thoughts. I think it's a good thing to use those tricks when you start to be a seducer. If you want to be a man, you have to pass through some kind of a rite of passage. But, if you stay in that game mode when you interact with women after you've manned up, it will get back to you in a negative way and the women you'll attract and go out with won't be the ones your true self desire. I prefer to get "approval" from real beautiful women rather than by those brainwashed little girls.

The way I see things now is that

Anonymous's picture

No, I am not spotting you on about being a nice guy.
I said "It sounds like......." i did not say "You are......."
For me that's a small but nice difference.
For the rest in my opinion Chase hit the nail on the head with his answer..........

Anonymous's picture

I want to offer you guys an opportunity to listen to a female point of view on the gaming industry. The woman talking about this topic is Elizabeth Everett, Mystery's ex girlfriend. Check her conference on youtube. Well worth the 50 minutes in my opinion. She's not the typical woman "conditioned" into giving false tips to AFCs like what we stumble upon in every PUA's articles. She thinks outside of the box and it's why she is coaching men how to date while being truthful to themselves. The key topic of her conference is: It's Not Women Which Are Manipulated In The Gaming Industry; It's Men.

Heres' the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6z8dWl8Fjg

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Addressing this post and your “self love” post above.

Everything’s “fake” when you start out at it. Lifting weights is fake when you’re skinny, singing music is fake when you can’t sing yet, playing basketball is fake when you don’t know how to make a basket yet. Pickup’s fake when you start it too because you suck at talking to women.

Sometimes guys decide they don’t want to do anything that feels uncomfortable, because that wouldn’t be “just being themselves” and the zeitgeist of 20th century North America rings loudly in their ears: Just be yourself, it tells them. Follow your heart, and if anyone doesn’t like you, you’re too good for them.

I covered all this here:

… and here:

… not to mention here:

Now, you may choose to drop out and be abstinent and celibate and wave the white flag of surrender in the sexual arms race, or maybe take whatever scraps you stumble upon once you’re at an age where women have tired of exciting sex with exciting men and are looking for someone to lean on into old age. But that’s failure – don’t try to glorify it.

Not every guy needs to succeed at everything. Maybe you drop out of dating, but you build a great business. Or you contribute to science. Or philosophy. Or something. But talk up your successes; don’t justify your failures.

As for the whole “pickup artists just LIE and manipulate people!” we’ve heard that argument before; the guy responsible for the events of the below article spent all his time on a forum making the same exact argument:

Chase

Anonymous's picture

From one point - we are just bunch of molecules which evolutionary happened to be the shape we are now.
From another point - we are entities who need things, who have "soul" and one of evolutionary successful traits that is deeply in our blood, because it worked - being seen as reliable to others.
It's eternal conflict between this stuff.
All our goals and actions are more or less aligned with our biological needs so this is how we deal with first point.
We feel the need to show ourselves and the world that we exist and are amazing, even better than others, we want to be adored and this is where two strategies of coping with it emerge:
Subscribing to lovey-dovey sweet stuff of "just be yourself".
Letting yourself feel lonely in the reality of loneliness we all live with and with facts that sometimes we just can't find the way to make it work fast or make it work at all and instead of assigning it to "fate" we admit the reality and that's it.

Reality is that pick up stuff is learnable skill, but most people have too biased view on this that they fear so much to look at it as skill that they would rather die, because of the feeling how empty it makes them feel to realize that maybe there's no magical "just happens" in life and everything is result of previous stuff - just like numbers there's no lowest and no highest number - and many of them between minus inf and +inf.
We can deny it, but the way we see things doesn't change the way things are and the very fact that people have different opinions mean that some of them (maybe us) are wrong(who is there to decide what is "right"?) and it's difficult thing to realize that there's no one to show what's right or wrong in life, except our own interpretations.

And it's okay for stability of society that people spend more time on other pursuits than love, because it makes things easier to anyone - whether wanting to stay blind forever or for the one who want to make huge progress. Eternal and strong battle wouldn't be useful to anyone.

All the stuff we "are" and "know" are just things we learned during evolution or during our lifetimes and made ourselves believe in that they're true.

She has a point to some extent - there're malarkey talkers in every field (maybe it's harder with maths, but some people just love arguing enough to prove you anything for the sake of their fun). There're many men who fool themselves by reading but never applying stuff that they will magically convert themselves to amazing men, but time goes and nothing happens.
But still there're healthy chunk of those who do things and make their lives better.

I see it only as a strategies we picked during our lifetimes or evolution and nothing magical there.

And I will leave for Chase to continue... "but where is our souls?" - ... (I guess it doesn't matter in practice, cause many answers would be only excuses of laziness).

Anonymous's picture

There are really great reflexions in your comment. But, the fact is that I don't consider myself a failure at all with women. I'm just in a transition in which I start to see things in their most deep meanings.

I'm on a learning path which have been partly modified by Zan Perrion's way of thinking depicted in his book. This guy's teachings are not at all aiming at becoming this good guy who gets women that are tired of being with those exciting men. It's about asking yourself what you want in life and following the path that is truly desired by your heart. This makes women wet.

It's possible to be sexy, playful and attract lots of hot women just by being yourself when you have high positive energy boiling inside yourself. It's called inner game or reality creation. Outer game like techniques and rules are useless. Even if you're doing nothing, just LIVING, women will be aroused, because you're sending mystic and powerful vibes. I have to admit that I've been blown away when I've been approached by hot women when being in this mind state of "universal indifference" or peace. Because I was not used to it, I suddenly became really nervous and fucked it up. It's so powerful. True carefreeness is a major turn on to women.

I remember being alone in the last wagon of the subway a couple months ago. I was truly carefree, in a meditative state. A hot young woman comes to sit right beside me. She has decided that even if the wagon was empty, she would sit right beside me. She was sitting like she was my girlfriend and she seemed to enjoy being so close to me. She was rubbing her shoulder on mine. I was shocked that this "technique" was so powerful. In fact, it is not a technique, it was my true universal self and this woman picked that up and was strongly attracted to it.

Franco Lombardi's picture

Anon,

What you're experiencing with women is also something that can be taught... ironically through experience. Go out a lot of times and sit down in a very carefree, confident way, and eventually you'll get a few attractive women to sit down next to you -- probably with the woman hoping that something will come of it between you two. Once your brain makes this association of "carefree vibe; chill somewhere by attractive women; attractive women eventually sit down next to me," then you're going to be more confident about that "technique" the next time you do it. Whether or not you recognize this as a "technique" or you being "carefree" is irrelevant; the only thing that matters is the association you make in your head between it and attracting hot women.

The issue here is that this is still an "intermediate" mindset in the world of meeting (and sleeping with) women. Guys get to this point where they recognize that their vibe (and probably their fundamentals) are at a stage where women will occasionally be drawn toward them. This isn't really a "different" path you're taking here -- women approach me (and Chase) all the time. For me, these are just blatantly obvious extra opportunities presenting themselves to me; it's not the "Holy Grail" of seducing and sleeping with beautiful women.

What makes the difference here is whether or not you are happy with the results you are getting. Our goal on this website isn't to tell guys, "you must reach this level and be doing these things exactly this way to achieve happiness/respectability," it's "here's everything you need to know to achieve the highest level of mastery with women; how far you wish to pursue it is entirely up to you."

For me, I would never be satisfied with simply projecting a "carefree" vibe and occasionally getting an attractive woman to place herself next to me to stir up conversation. As a matter of fact, before joining this website, that was about where I was with women in general. I attended parties and events and projected my carefree vibe everywhere because I had made the association that I could occasionally get hot women by doing this. But, after several tough experiences, I realized "occasionally" was not good enough for me.

After finding this website, I was able to merge what I had learned on my own about vibe and attracting women with what is taught on this website (including understanding and technique) to improve my results tenfold. And now I have become closer to a true state of "happiness" than I ever had before, even when women were approaching me. But does everyone need to reach the level I did? Not necessarily.

You determine your own happiness; Kobe Bryant would not be happy just "making" it to the NBA, even though many players would be happy with that -- he wanted championship rings, and he wanted lots of them.

To each his own.

- Franco

Seer's picture

I'm personally glad they're in the minority haha... There's nothing wrong with these women of course, but I'm not into the whole beach blonde bombshell craze... never was.

If I wanted to get one for the sake of it, I'd follow the steps necessary to do it, but I'm happy to take the available lonely, sexy brunettes and redheads. :)

Hopefully this helps those who post cries of help about this on the boards.

Evan K.'s picture

Hey Chase:

I appreciate how this articles expands on an article you did regarding how you had trouble with blondes at first until you figured them out.

I often wonder about the blonde American girl's experiences throughout her life. I've often wondered if being a pretty blonde girl makes them more susceptible to depression due to insults from other women due to jealousy and men constantly trying to fuck them since puberty. Studies show that white and Latin women suffer from depression more than black and Asian women. Not saying the there's a causal thing going on here, but I have always wondered if being a blonde girl makes them think they're "weaker" because they look so effeminate and soft. In my experience from living in LA, blonde women LOVE tan men (tan skin, dark hair) maybe because they're the opposite of them or because they look masculine in a polarized comparison. Very rarely do I see a blonde girl with a blonde man.

This brings me to the first of two questions:

1- Do you believe the blonde American woman's experience makes her different because of how she may be treated in daily interactions and due to bimbo-type stereotypes? If so, can we capitalize on this?

As someone who moved to Socal several years ago, I've noticed that the hottest bleached blondes do go for the metrosexual types who don't exactly fit the bill as being the most masculine.

Being originally from the East Coast, I noticed that men who normally would never score in NYC, do get hot women in LA. It's because LA has more blonde bombshells and they go with that pop culture-friendly kind of guy, as opposed to the Byronic type or the tough guy who doesn't care what you think (both of these latter types do excellent in NYC).

The pop-culture metrosexual guy is pretty damn effeminate unfortunately. And I think if you're gonna try pulling that off, you really have to be careful. It's a tightrope, as I've seen LA-type effeminate guys get friend zoned over and over again. In fact, guys who especially get friend-zoned in LA are the effeminate/super-laid back/pushover/pop-culture-friendly guy that you see all over LA (think Vince from Entourage... if he wasn't famous, he wouldn't get pussy). Now, I do understand it's not just about the image, as how you play your cards are huge on whether or not you get friend zoned (time escalation, chase framing, neediness, white knighting, etc.)

Like you very accurately mentioned, the strong masculine guys do get bombshells, and like you said, confident older blondes (27+) aren't so picky about status, so different types of guys can get the older ones. By the way, I commend you for pointing that out, as I thought I was the only one who picked up on this.

BUT... like you stated, the pop-culture-friendly/trendy guy does get hot blonde bombshells.

So my second question is:

2- How does the the pop-culture friendly/trendy guy get the bombshells if he's leaning on the effeminate side? Is it that he still keeps things masculine and doesn't get too soft? Or is it that the hot blonde is so into the image of the guy she wants, that she overlooks that stuff? I come off as someone who's completely ignorant to pop culture, as this works well in NYC, especially with model/fashion types who see it as a breath of fresh air.

Thanks a bunch for your time, Chase. Your thoughts are always appreciated!

Evan

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Evan-

I worked with a woman in her 30s who intermittently changed hair colors. After she switched from redhead to blonde, she couldn’t stop talking about how every week when she flew from Boulder to San Diego and then back again, suddenly now men refused to let her pick her own bag off the baggage carousel and a man always did it for her. She said in several years of being a redhead, not once did a guy pick up her bag for her.

Capitalizing on that, aside from what’s in the article I don’t have much else to add, although I suppose it’s worth noting that Mystery developed his neg technique primarily on West Coast blondes from what I understand, and the buddies I’ve had who used Mystery Method (a Korean-American buddy in San Diego, and Ricardus, actually, from this site, used it for a long time) used to tell me it worked great for them with those types. I played around with it a bit and it did seem to do well when I remembered to use it.

They’re not as responsive to aloof-guy game because they have enough attention from high value-ish males that they’re not really going to care if you start acting aloof – they know that game, and they’re better at it. That’s one I used to try a lot with them early on and it always fell flat. You check to see if she’s paying attention and she’s already got another guy all over her… ha. Seems more effective to just go in, be physically dominant, be a little sarcastic / neg-y, act like you think she’s a silly little girl, but in a nice way, and just keep guiding it toward the endpoint.

Blonde men, I do actually see a fair amount of them with blonde girls, although I’ve noticed I see more blonde men with natural blonde girls than bottle blondes. Blonde men are generally more sought-after in the U.S. than other hair colors, and they seem to have higher self-esteem and lower tolerance for B.S., perhaps as a result of this, which means they frequently don’t have the patience for bottle blonde game-playing. There also seems to be some positive assortative mating going on among natural blondes; I think they just prefer each other.

Interesting notes on the East Coast blondes preferring Byronic men and finding pop culture-y guys lame and distasteful, and West Coast blondes preferring pop culture-y guys and finding Byronic men lame and distasteful. Yes, this matches what I’ve seen as well. Just different cultures on those different sides of the U.S.

Re: metrosexual, yeah, there are different “grades” of bottle blondes… the ones that go for metrosexual types are often hipster-ish bombshells from what I’ve seen… she’s wearing a beanie and a flannel shirt too, but bleaches her hair blonde because that immediately catapults her to the top of the pile among that crowd. A bit different from the beach Barbie type.

Re: #2, I think what you mean is you’re adapted for East Coast bombshells and want to change to match West Coast ones, correct?

If that’s the case, the most important part is making sure you’re going for the right blonde bombshells; the ones you want are the ones hanging out in hipster bars or going to wine tastings, or frequenting Trader Joe’s / Whole Foods, not the ones in sequin dresses shaking their hips in dance clubs or pounding shots in beach bars.

From that point on, honestly I don’t have a huge amount of experience as the pop-culture guy because that’s not my role, nor as the effeminate guy either. A buddy of mine in SoCal who did great with blondes was the consummate pop culture guy, but everything about him screamed masculinity (despite his thin/non-muscular frame). He just had a dominant personality, in the true alpha male leader of the pack, looking out for everyone, everyone’s having a good time on my watch style.

Generally, among my friends who are good with girls who might be called “effeminate” at first blush, they pretty much all have degrees of frame control that’d put most tough guy bodybuilders to shame (I was just telling someone about a friend like this, 5’10”, long hair, kind of effeminate in some mannerisms, but good with girls, getting into a really heated confrontation with a gigantic, super muscular 6’7” nightclub bouncer in Florence after the bouncer had shoved him aside really hard, and I was sweating bullets thinking my friend was going to get into a fight with this guy and the other bouncers and I was going to have to jump in and back him up – he ultimately got the management involved and got all of us comped for entrance, essentially winning the confrontation – that’s frame control).

If you’re seeing guys doing well with girls who look effeminate, chances are that’s in appearance only and they’re actually really dominant, self-assured, devil may care “screw the world, I do what I want” types and the appearance is deceiving.

Chase

EvanK's picture

Chase,

You nailed every point. Thanks so much for taking the time to answer my questions.

And yeah, I think getting the type of West Coast blondes I'm into (the sequin dress ass shakers), I do need to shed the overly-masculine East Coast appeal. You're right that the mannerism is what makes us masculine as dressing slightly effeminate is just a superficial layer.

Cheers,
Evan

Anonymous's picture

Hi,
does this apply to any girl who tries to look as best as possible? To be that "hot girl"? Is bombshell just a term describing a type of girl or simply "super attractive girl"? I met women who had their appearance perfected, fashion sense, their skin was nice and smooth, make-up used in perfect amount, neat hairstyle. I mean, do I need to do this to get a girl that looks great?

Pete

Franco Lombardi's picture

Pete,

This pertains to a very specific subset of attractive women; the "typical" example would be an All-American girl who has bleached her hair blonde, probably has a nice tan (whether that be fake or real), and spends a good amount of time at the gym. Bleached blonde hair isn't necessarily a staple aspect of this type of girl, but likely a brunette or dark-haired woman who represents the same type of girl will be found hanging out with a bleached blonde.

Other typical facets of the "blonde bombshell" include a "resting bitch face" as its come to be called -- essentially the girl who looks like she's always upset about something when she's just standing around (or possibly looking at her phone). And she also might be taking "duck face" pictures at the club.

Lots of these girls can be found in Southern California; it's probably the most common location for them. Generally, the idea behind this article is that these are the type of girls who spend a great deal of time on their appearance and keeping up with the latest fads/trends, so naturally the guys they are looking for are also the ones who focus on their appearance first and foremost and are also wearing the latest fads/trends.

EDIT: If you Google "California Bleach Blonde" and search the images, I'm sure you'll find quite a few good examples.

- Franco

Avid Reader of this blog's picture

Chase, you say that the blonde bombshell types go for the guys that media promotes as attractive but unfortunately, American media overwhelmingly shows white men as being attractive and black men as runners up. I find that Hollywood is not so kind to Indians, Asians, Arabs, and most ethnic looking men.

Now while I find your article to be the best of its kind and applaud you for finally posting about the mystery of getting the stuck up blonde bombshell. I want to know, in your experience, have you personally ever seen these types of girls go for Indian, Asian, and ethnic looking men out in California? I mean the state has plenty of blondes but also plenty of ethnic guys.

If so, what would you say these guys had compared to other men of their race?

I was also thinking this, is there any way an Indian guy can play up the yoga thing with these girls since I see so many blondes going for that type of stuff.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Avid-

I have. Both Asian and Indian guys, actually. I knew one Korean-American guy and one Indian-American guy in Southern California who routinely cleaned up with bottle blondes, plus another Chinese-American guy who was married to an absolute knockout of a bottle blonde.

The Korean and Indian guys both had sarcastic “haha, I’m laughing at your expense” somewhat caustic humor, that they’d then defuse with a show of inclusiveness and leadership: “come on, let’s go sit down” “come on, let’s head over there”. They both had somewhat douchebag-y personalities in that they’d use this cynical humor to position themselves as superior to women (or men) they interacted with, and would laugh quite freely to make it obvious they were joking, and then they’d lead immediately, to, in a way, display that although they are a little insensitive as rulers, they still were benevolent rulers.

Different styles of dress among the two, also; the Indian guy would dress up in nice button-downs and good jeans, while the Korean guy would have a trendy long-sleeved tee with a few buttons at the top, plus nice jeans (he was in good shape with muscles, and this allowed him to show them off better). He wore glasses as well, I guess to take some of the edge off his muscular build.

The Chinese guy also had a very dark, sarcastic sense of humor, that he’d then lighten the air a bit with smiles after. He was pretty short, with a moustache/goatee combo. Similar personality to Peter Dinklage – kind of gruff, kind of “I don’t have time for this shit”, with the odd bit of wit thrown in in a kind of “Yes, I have a sense of humor. No, I don’t use it too much, because I’m better than you, but I can still make you laugh” vibe.

The big difference with average Asian/Indian men getting into gaming blondes I witnessed was that when the average ones would try to lead, it’d be in kind of a nice, hopeful “Come on! Let’s do it!” way, or they’d do it randomly in a “I’m assuming you’re with me and I’m just going to take off and hopefully you follow” way, whereas these guys who pulled ass would do it after they’d clearly shown some kind of dominance first (like busting on her and having her make a face, or saying something witty and she laughs, etc.), then they’d do it in a dominant leader way: “Come on, let’s go get drinks,” that has some fun and inclusiveness in it, but is about half-firm, half-warm.

They’d also use disqualifiers off-hand, like, “Yeah, you know, if I ever get married it’ll be with a nice Asian girl some day. White girls are cool but my mother would flip out if I ever brought one home.” The implication seemed to be “my race is superior to yours for breeding, but you can tag along and get a sample of this if you want”, which turned on the head, I imagine, what some of these girls thought coming in, which is closer to “Asian/Indian guys SO want me more than they want their own women… white is SO superior.” Immediately disqualifies them as boyfriends, and if they’re doing everything else right and coming across dominant and sexy, now they’re prime lover candidates.

I think I’d leave yoga alone since it’s kind of a “womanly” pastime, and it’s mostly the “fringe” blondes who do it anyway. Only guys I’ve known who’ve used yoga to get laid a lot were the ones who led the yoga classes (but these guys can really clean up with girls in their classes). She’s looking for a guy who lifts weights, throws his body around on the football field or basketball court, surfs, etc.

Chase

Rammistein's picture

Chase,

How would you say that the blonde bombshell types on the east coast are different from the ones found in California?

I find that ever since I came to NYC, the blondes here are more hypergamous in nature. Most of the times, I spot them with Wall Street guys who are typically Anglo white. Many of my friends have had a lot more success with brunettes and ethnic women here while blondes seem to be hard as hell to get. I talked to a friend who moved to California (he is Middle Eastern) where he is doing much better with the blonde types while on the east coast (NYC) area, he wasn't getting shit.

Would you say the east coast (northeast) in general is a bad place for guys who want the Jenny McCarthy and Teresa Palmer types?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Rammistein-

Yeah, there's definitely a difference. I've seen that too.

East Coast bombshells usually seem to be looking for someone upwardly mobile or upscale already. West Coast bombshells a lot of times are looking for someone masculine and jock-ish / surfer type, etc.

Maybe try to think of her in terms of what her goal is; if she wants to be a California girl or a starlet, she'll head to the West Coast and look for guys like what she sees in the movies.

If she wants to marry up and she's going blonde because she knows many (most?) guys put a high value on blondes, rather than simply because she wants to conform, she'll tend to be more drawn to the East Coast hubs like New York or D.C. where there's a lot of financial, legal, or other professional men rising through the social ranks.

The West Coast itself is more dominated by a kind of cowboy mystique where the girls want the rugged American guy, while the East Coast has more of a "elevate yourself" spirit around working hard and making money and moving up to a higher class than the one you were born into.

Another way of thinking about it: a California bombshell is happy to be with a guy who's poor so long as he matches her image of what an All-American guy is like. An East Coast bombshell doesn't care as much about whether the guy's All-American as she cares whether it looks like he's going places she might want to go.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey chase, I don't think the comment is going to match with the title of the post but there's something I would like to say:
I am a guy who is under fifteen years old and come from place where the things like these ( seduction skills ) are unknown to people and the people are also not so comfortable to talk about these topics. So I find it difficult to use these skills that I have learnt from here. However I see this website much more than a seduction community. It has taught me many useful things (esp the effortlessness and acts related to it) . I do every possible things such as interesting walk, stillness, displaying charisma and so I find myself different from others. This increases my confidence. Some things taught here contradict with other pickup techniques taught in other places but practically the stuffs in this website are the best. I have transformed my way of thinking. Most importantly: speaking from a point of view of person of whose English is second language, girls chase is as an amazing place to start from.
Terrific website keep doing what you're doing.

Nashem's picture

Chase,

I am thankful that you posted this article, for a while I thought I was one of the few guys out there struggling with the hot blonde types. Now that I have read your article, it seems like it is pointing at picking up these women through social circle game and taking it as a long term investment. Fact being these women get to know you and you can then nail them a while after showing them how amazing your life is.

Back in high school it was about being the Quarterback of your football team or just being a jock in general. In college, it went to being an athlete or a rich and good looking fraternity brother. Girls saw value in these guys by looking at them and ended up loving them because of their status which was known to them by social circle game.

Now as we get older, social circles evaporate and we have to rely more on cold approach. Would you say that these girls can be cold approached and is it possible to have a same night lay with them?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Nashem-

Yes, absolutely cold approach works here! I've pulled plenty of bottle blondes from bars and I know guys for whom it's an out-and-out specialty.

The key is, like for many girls, being able to convey that you are her "type" soon into the interaction.

I do find it's generally easier to pick up bottle blondes in groups (e.g., your buddy goes with her friend, and you go with her). Sometimes they're the leader, more often they're the follower, but they're frequently reputation-conscious and don't want to be seen hooking up unless the other girls in the pack are doing it too. So frequently if you want a bottle blonde, it's better if you can hook her girls up with your friends or other guys in the venue at the same time.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Goodnight Chase can you give me an article on how to pick up chicks on a closed environment like a cruise cause I will be on one this summer and find it as a great opportunity to get some lays.

Thanks in advance

lux's picture

Hey Chase,

I would love to read one of your replies about this one :).

This website is notoriously about what you have, not about what you *don't* have :).
Which is great.
Still, that shouldn't preclude us from a rational examination.

I suppose that being short is a much bigger drawback with blonde bombshells as the "perfect" image of the hot guy is white, handsome and... Tall.

Being short, hence, is even bigger of a disadvantage with these kind of girls, would you agree with that?

jim12345's picture

Here is the thing. In theory it is 100% Incorrect.

This is all about taking actions to chase something. What inside of you needs this? Why?

In any sort, it is easier to be chased then to chase. What makes girls chase guys?

Well it depends on the guy. Some guys with abs and a great bod never get a hot girl, why? Some nerds get all the girls. If you are playing a superficial game, you should realize even moreso its just a game and be happy in playing it instead of obsessing.

Also its dangerous.
Is this goal worth sacrificing your identity? Sacrificing your faith, trying to fit into white media to be something you clearly are not?
No,
and women are humans too, they will respect originality overall. You can force yourself as a copy to be something you are not, or you can make a totally original and fantastic version of yourself. So could that magic card collection get you laid, I would say yes, as long as you dont give a f about dem hoes.

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