Why Elliot Rodger Killed 6 People... and Himself | Girls Chase

Why Elliot Rodger Killed 6 People... and Himself

In case you haven’t seen it yet, a 22-year-old named Elliot Rodger went on a killing spree, stabbing to death three people, shooting three more, and then turning the gun on himself.

Before doing so, he posted a video on YouTube in which he talks about his rationale:

Out of curiosity, I watched it, though I usually prefer avoiding the news since there’s always another death, always another killing... yet in a rather mixed batch of emotions, covering everything from horror to rage to sadness to recognition, I knew exactly what I was seeing.

Because I think a lot of young males in Western society go through what Elliot went through – I know certainly I did – and while it’s easy (and undoubtedly true) to say that had he hung in there a few more years, his life would’ve gone dramatically differently, as would have the lives of his victims, it’s worth taking a moment to understand what was going on inside the man that prompted him to do things he could never take back...

... and also, for anyone bothered by thoughts of following a similar path, what he should have done instead.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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George Hustle's picture

Hello Chase :)
I am facing a problem which I really need some help with. So I kinda "know" a girl from my school. I mean we just see eachother in the halls sometimes but we don't personally know eachanother like you know oficially. So I sent her a facebook friend request. And she accepted. I was wondering if I should text her since she's cute and I'm not. I waited probably like 4 days and fianlly texted her. But she doesn't reply. I see her online and the text is not even on "Seen". Help please what should I do?

Dave's picture


I'm taking the liberty I answering this even though I know you probably want to hear from Chase, simply because I know from experience that he probably is too busy to answer this.

Honestly, I would shy away from texting her. In fact, in my humble opinion texting is a useful tool for trading information or discussing a specific thing, and not really for getting to know a girl. If I were you, I'd try talking to her in real life. Not only is texting a girl something like "hey" or "what's up" as I'm assuming you did (that's what I'd have done/what I have done in the past) kind of out of the blue and socially awkward, it's going to come across as chasing. Reverse your roles, making yourself the high value one and her the aquantance texting out of the blue, and you'll understand.

That being said, the solution to this could lie in several options:
1. you could approach her in school and introduce yourself. This might work, but may still come across as chasing as (if I understand correctly) you aren't friends and you have no real reason to talk to her, so it will be blatantly obvious that you are simply doing it because you are interested. Again, this is sort of chasing as you are declaring interest before you even have any sign if she is interested back.
2. This is what I reccommend: hang back, act like the text never happened. WORK ON YOUR FUNDAMENTALS. This is soooo important. I you do it right, you may soon be getting attention from her anyway, or perhaps approach invitations. (not to mention that you will attract other girls as well.) Once you feel confident, check out Chase's nonverbal techniques and try some eye contact flirting. It's a good, low key, and low risk way to gauge a girls interest and helps give some context for when you finally talk to her.

I feel you as far as having difficulty with girls in a school setting. I'm 15 myself and I am constantly trying to puzzle out how to build sexual relationships with girls in school without being too nice or too, well, rapey? Idk, school sucks. In many ways. But the main thing is, you are still in a pretty good position with this girl. The text wasn't a big deal, especially if you don't act like it was a big deal. It's better to be aquantainces with a girl than be in her friend zone.

Don't give up... I personally am glad to know that there other young high schoolers out there who are struggling too. (School is probably the least discussed context described here, and is in my opinion one of the toughest.)


George Hustle's picture

First thank you for the big answer and explanation. So you say I should act like it was nothing serious and work on my fundamentals? Well there are 2 problems here:

1. It's not the first time I text a girl (which I don't know) and she doesn't reply. I am not a bad guy (don't mean to sound cocky). I treat women nicely. I keep my hygiene at good level. I am training 3 days per week keeping my body in a good shape. I am just not the most handsome guy. I don't know why I am not good with girls really.

2. What do you mean by fundamentals? English is not my native language and if I am not mistaken this is something like basis? Like the basic things? And if that is it what should I do. I am kinda shy to go to a random girl and meet her.

Also I would like to ask you how do you approach girls. I mean it doesn't sound very confident and nice to say "Can we meet?" (or whatever it is in English). Should I go with something like "Hi I'm George nice to meet you"? But then again it's out out of the blue.

I will be thankful if you answer again :)
Ps. Please everyone feel free to answer I need advice.

EDIT: Do you think I should text her something like "What's the point in accepting my friend request when you don't even reply?"

Dave's picture

1. It sounds like you may be suffering from perhaps a nice guy mentality. First of all, let me be clear on this: I'm no Chase Amante. I'm on the inexperienced side as well. But I do have women in my life that seek after me. There's this one girl, call her Stacy, that chases me a lot. We used to date, it ended a while back, and I moved on. When we were dating, there was a visible wane in her attraction for me. At this point in our relationship, I genuinely don't give a damn about whether or not Stacy is attracted to me or not. I'd like her to be, sure, but it's not a priority at all. By contrast, she displays a lot of attraction for me now. I've got to be honest, I'm kind of a dick sometimes. I don't make effort to talk to her very much. I don't display a whole lot of reciprocation to her. I at the most give her small touches or smile or nonverbal affirmations here and there, but that's mostly just default. And she fuckig loves me. Waaaaaaaay more than she did when I was a) readily available to her and b) treating her like a queen.

Moral of the story? Don't be a nice guy. Be a challenge. Attitude and sexual vibe are really the biggest attraction triggers. Imagine a really, really creepy fat guy with no social grace being brain swapped so he has the body of Brad Pitt. He's still unattractive, but not because of his body.

2. Fundamentals are basic building blocks to being a sexy ass motherfucker. Things like:

Body language
Fashion sense
Facial hair
Hair style
Physical shape
Social grace
Sexy smiling/using your mouth
Facial expressions

3. Don't send her that. It's bitter, and almost angry sounding. Imagine of you decided not to answer a fat girl who tried to text you, and she got angry because you spurned her advances. In fact, just use the reverse role filter on most things like that.

Most of these things are EXTENSIVELY covered in the site. Just do some reading, you'll catch on. Chase or another writer has an article for every single topic I've mentioned.

Glad to help,

SK's picture

@George- Dude, why would you facebook friend request a girl whom you see daily!? That is backwards and stupid. You dropped major points for that. But since you'd already made that mistake, I found an interesting post addressing what to do from there


Chase Amante's picture


I approved the comment because the information in it is good and the post you linked up is pretty solid.

Only note: do be more respectful in addressing less experienced guys... it's easy to get used to thinking that what you know is obvious once you've known it a while, and anyone who doesn't know it is an idiot, but that's when you've forgotten what it's like to be new and not able to tell which side is up (kinda like if you aren't a math guy because you just haven't studied it, and run into some math heads doing differential equations, and they start telling you you're an idiot for not knowing how to do these... well, you probably just haven't trained in that yet is all).


George Hustle's picture

Thank you guys for your answers (and Dave you too), So I read that post about the texting and the patience. Technically I'm still in the game?

The only problem is that I do not see it that way. I mean since I already texted her and she did not repond, even if I was like 2-3 weeks now, then start to show my presence as the post said, I can't text her again since it will be more then strange. Or at least I feel like it. Any help with that one?


Smith's picture

Hey Chase,
I felt the same thing when I read the news briefly a few days ago, which basically said in a short paragraph that he went on a killing spree because he was a virgin and have never been kissed by a girl. At that time, I couldn't believe it...then I realized damn...it IS possible because I had the same thought of killing myself before I found GC.

He was depressed and frustrated with his life especially when it comes girls, just like I was. In fact we're almost the same age, I'm only a bit younger than him. And now that I watch the video, I could immediately sense his bitterness but then I thought about the potentials he had in front of him. He's actually a decent looking guy and he could've easily transformed himself if he had set his mind to it. I'm glad I didn't wait until something like this to happen to snap me out of it, because I can imagine this would either send me into further depression (and do the same thing) or force me to change my perspectives around. So thank you for turning my life around! don't know what else I would be doing now. I hope more guys can see this article and realize that there's more to pickup than what you see on Youtube. Definitely worth sharing!

David Riley's picture

Hey Smith,

I'm happy you were able to turn you life around and make a change. It's also very unfortunate this situation happened. My coworker actually had brought the video to my attention the other day. When I watched it like you, I could also sense his bitterness. I felt the way Chase did as well, I wish I could of talked to him and helped him picked up girls. It was really a tragic series of events and I hope more young men make a change before its too late.


Just Dave

Nick Shaw's picture

Hi Chase,

This is a post that I have been wanting to seek advice on, for a while. I have this question, and I think I have the answer, though I need some external inputs on this. The question is "Is Practice more important than theory" and I feel that it definitely is. Practice definitely trumps theory.

The reason I feel so is that, if one wants to master any field and starts reading the literature on it, the literature after a while can become overwhelming. In any field, even pickup, the amount of stuff one can find on the internet is humongous. People generally have this mindset, that they need to be completely prepared before they practice what they have learnt, but in doing so, they never get down to actually practicing because the number of things to learn is so much.

It is like a carpenter who wants to build a cabinet. The carpenter can build the cabinet using two or three tools only. The knowledge of more complex tools can help him in his task, but if he just accumulates tools without practicing using them, he wont be able to build the cabinet, irrespective of how complex the tools are that he possesses. On the contrary if he learns to use two or three tools well, he would build the cabinet though the process might be inefficient.

Similarly I feel, that one should start practicing, even if one doesn't know much. I can say from my experience that when I have practiced something and garnered experiences, and later analyzed what worked and what didn't, the theory that I had read became really vivid. In short, when one reads theory and doesnt practice, one forgets. If one practices, one remembers theory well.

There is a lot of stuff on girlschase. I have read a lot of it but if you ask me what I remember and can give a lecture on, it is stuff that I have put into practice. I feel that those who triumph over competition, in any walk of life, do so, because they differentiate themselves from others by taking the plunge.

Then why do most people just read theory and don't practice. I feel that is because practicing can be gut wrenching. When one practices a skill for the first time, regardless of how much theory one knows, one becomes overwhelmed. Most people instinctively know that and take the easier option of reading theory rather than facing their fears head on.

Do you have any thoughts as to what should be the break up of time spent in reading theory and practicing. In my experience, out of six hours, four hours of practice followed by two hours of theory/introspection/analysis of practice is ideal.

Sorry, this post got a bit long. I would like to learn from your experiences in life.


David Riley's picture

Hey Nick,

I agree with you when you say practice over theory. It's very important maybe ready at least 1 or 2 hours. Going out in the field and implementing what you've learned. A lot of guys don't practice because they're afraid to fail and get better. Fear doesn't do anything for accept hold you back. Like you about complex tools, too many guys try to do the complex things without mastering the basics. The basics are the foundation so that you'll be able to do some complex and really amazing things. It's also important to learn to push yourself when practicing. It's important to change things up from time to time. Another important factor as well would be to take notes. Because when something goes off and you write it down. You can go back to it later and find out the solution. Hope that clears things up.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

I knew it I knew it !!! Had a strong sense of surety that Chase or one of the writers on this site would write something about the killings. And, I'm mighty glad Chase wrote this since me and my friends are looking for this kind of perspective on the subject and it has definitely broadened our minds...we just finished skimming through the manifesto of the killer reading various significant parts and it was quite pitiful and sad as well as shocking and "obnoxious" towards the end....

Keep on the writing

lao che's picture

good article

and the point, so simple yet it took me years to figure out - if you want to be good at something, copy others who are good at it, do it often enough and you'll be good enough. whatever it is - sales, girls, music, public speaking, whatever, do it often enough and it becomes you.
don't let others stop you, and they will try ... like if you're perceived as a bit geeky or whatever, and you start acting, dressing, talking more cool, people will resist that and try to drag you back to what you were, but you just have to stay strong and out-frame them

the guy above ... george hustle, you don't have to ask that question to chase or anyone else, read every article on this site and figure it out for yourself. but basically, the answer is, do nothing. stop thinking about how many days you should wait, what to text, etc, she's just a girl, man! forget about her, if she contacts you, take it from there. good luck

David Riley's picture

Hey Lao,

Just piggy backing here, yes one girl is not worth fretting over. There are so many more girls out there for the taking. Guys just have to get out and increase their options. When they increase their options, they increase their chances of getting laid.

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

"I realized how much different my brother Jazz was from me at that age. While I was shy, short, and physically weak; Jazz was tall for his age and very social. He had no problem going up to other boys at the playground and making instant friends. I began to form a bitter envy towards him, though I hid it really well. My little brother had all the potential to grow up to be a popular kid and live the life I was never able to live. I cursed the world for granting my little brother Jazz so many more advantages than me. I tried not to let this ruin my relationship with him. My little brother really looked up to me. He was one of the few people who treated me with adoration, and that made me feel at least a small twinge of self-worth. It was quite surprising that he respected me so much, since I had nothing in my life to boast about to him. He even asked me once if I had ever had a girlfriend, and I angrily told him that the matter was none of his concern. I didn't want to admit to him that girls thought I was a loser. If he found out about that, he would respect me less. In order to boost his high opinion of me, I often sugarcoated all of my early accomplishments, such as telling him that I was an expert skateboarder and video game player."
I had an argument with Soumaya while I was visiting my father's house. It started when she began to boast that my brother Jazz was recently signed by an agent to act in T.V. commercials. She said that by the time he is my age, he will be a successful actor. I talked about how Jazz was already so socially savvy for his age, and how I've always envied him for it. She told me he will never have any problems with girls, and will lose his virginity while he's young. I had to sit there and listen to the bitch tell me that my little brother will grow up enjoying the life I've always craved for, but missed out on. It is very unfair how some boys are able to live such pleasurable lives while I never had any taste of it, and now it has been confirmed to me that my little brother will become one of them. He will become a popular kid who gets all the girls. Girls will love him. He will become one of my enemies.

That was the day that I decided I would have to kill him on the Day of Retribution. I will not allow the boy to surpass me at everything, to live the life I've always wanted. It's not fair that he has the chance to have a pleasurable life while I've been denied it. It will be a hard thing to do, because I had really bonded with my little brother in the last year, and he respected me and looked up to me. But I would have to do it. If I can't live a pleasurable life, then neither will he! I will not let him put my legacy to shame."

tayoisrich's picture

Is this what Elliot said before killing the 6 people???

I hear voices in my head...

David Riley's picture

In reply to both,

It is very unfortunate that Elliot saw his brother as a threat and not an ally in the long run. Sometimes people can become so dark and clouded by their misery that they can no longer discern enemy from family. Elliot had a very bad victim mentality that drove him into anger, frustration, and a vengeful rage. The ironic thing is that Elliot's brother loved him very much. This show's how truly warped Elliot's mind had truly become.

Just Dave

Robert wilson's picture

this is a rather odd comment, but this article made me cry towards the end, I feel so awkquard around girls and hopeless in life but this gave me something to strive for, that my past failures don't define my future self. I wallow in the present but not like this guy, I've had the urge to kill the competition, but knew of its path of destruction, and all this knowing I have had some sucess with girls, but as I grew older I always held that it would only get harder and that my teenage sucess was just inadequate for my adult hood pick up skills, I needed this article, it both made me feel human while also telling me how to be a man. survival of the fittest is a collective effort I see and not an individual one, I need to copy and paste a sucess and then I can branch out from their to be unqiue only after I have made it passed my own bullshit first, the world has so much technology now that it is inexcusable to not try and suceed at the very least, something I have not been doing, the world gives you great shit, and it never owed it to anyone, and here we are pouting about others and not making use of the avialable resources that breed sucess, so I start a new once again and forget prior mistakes for I already know my capabilities and can grow into something greater than myself even through the multitudes of doing not so great things first. Thank you so much

David Riley's picture

Hey Robert,

I appreciate your honesty about your feelings. It just shows how great of a community we have where we can come together and have insightful conversations. The thing about learning and getting women is it all revolves around persistence. Many men don't succeed because of they lack the right frame of mind. Whenever, you're feeling down, you have to find the power to motivate yourself to keep going. It takes a lot to overcome adversity, but once you get there the reward is bountiful.

Just Dave

David Riley's picture

Hey Robert,

I appreciate your honesty about your feelings. It just shows how great of a community we have where we can come together and have insightful conversations. The thing about learning and getting women is it all revolves around persistence. Many men don't succeed because of they lack the right frame of mind. Whenever, you're feeling down, you have to find the power to motivate yourself to keep going. It takes a lot to overcome adversity, but once you get there the reward is bountiful.

Just Dave

Aiden's picture

When I first heard about what Elliot had done and his reasoning behind it, firstly horrified, I thought of this website and the mindset it teaches and how it would have been a huge benefit and perhaps prevented such a tragedy... I was rather surprised with the link you provided to ROK and the bitterness towards women inherent in the tone of the article and also from the community and the other articles that were advertised. Girlschase conveys such a positive attitude towards self improvement and women, the article 'Don't Be Bitter' is such a standout and great mentality to have as it truly allows you to work towards enjoying your interactions with the opposite sex and not creating a subconcious negative mindset. Keep up the positivity and the desire to do better... It's why this is my favourite site!

Gem's picture

Very heartfelt article chase; I felt similar to how you did: he's really not that far off, I recognize him and half a dozen or so guys like him I knew at some point in my life come to my mind. His problem isn't particularly novel but he doesn't identify with the others like him and feels alone it seems.

Was wondering what you think the role of the family and parents is in the mass shooting tragedies. Could they have prevented things, does any of it stem from their influence, does upbringing play a part and can it have prevented the dark future etc.?

And do you think it's a large or small attributing factor (for many of these shooters) that they will be known by everyone and "famous" and on all the news networks, after they commit their murders?


Richard's picture

Chase - I'm stealing your thunder here, especially because I know you aren't able to get to all the daily comments.


Studies show that in the days, or months leading up the events like this - the parents just don't see the signs.

Only after the fact do parents and peers succumb to the "hindsight bias" and see the links between behaviors and future actions.

Though, the common signs in future suicide/homocide (which usually coincide with one another) are:

-Giving away prized posessions
-Depression (and it's signs)
-Suggestive language (i.e. I won't be hear to deal with it anyway, etc.)
-Severe withdrawal from family or friends (by choice)
-Disrupted sleep patterns
-Self-Denial, or Self-Hatred (people who feel this way see suicide as the perfect solution)
-One of the most dangerous signs is a sudden surge in positive emotions --- parents and peers will often see this as a good sign, but! it usually means that they've decided to take their own life and no longer feel any turmoil, or chaos.

Causes of suicide vary greatly - but prevention almost always takes a sense of intuition (like a dad noticing his sons change and talking to him about it), or a specialist who's trained to see these things. Family influence plays a role when either their is no parental or familial involvement with the individual, or if the family does not support the person. Suicide comes in stages: from suicide ideation, to parasuicide, to actual suicide attempt. In between these stages you'll notice cries for help (the biggest being parasuicide - an attempt not meant to kill the person).

Factors influencing suicide are:
*Biological - If there is a history of suicide in your family, then your genetic factors increase your future rates of attempting suicide. Serotonin malfunction, or low serotonin levels also play a role in suicide attempts.

*Sociocultural - There are substantial differences in suicide rates between different ethnic and race groups. Religious views and societal views on death influence suicide attempts (for example, Islam condemns suicide and they have much lower suicide rates). Japan has historically approved suicide in certain situations (seppuku, kamikaze pilots), and the same is true of some Muslim extremists (suicide bombers). A French sociologist named Emile Durkheim also found in his studies that in times of personal crisis or stress that personal identification and identity with other people are the biggest deterrents.

*Other risk factors - Mood disorders, conduct disorders, and substance abuse also increase your likelihood to attempt suicide. Treating these with anti-depressants also slightly increases your risk of suicide ideation.

Furthermore, the myth that those who communicate suicidal intent often don't do so has been proven false - and that 40% of those who actually committed suicide had done so expressing their suicidal intent. Even when said playfully, or in a joking manner it's still best to take these words seriously.

Also Gem,

Most suicides are the result of finding a means to an end - it's a solution to a problem and usually isn't the result of wanting "fame." Though, in some cases, people with mental disorders or brain abnormalities do commit homicide to get fame (Mark Chapman for isntance supposedly killed John Lennon to get his "fame.") Others have completed suicide to get their "message" out to the public, or to achieve a goal they had (i.e. the Heaven's Gate mass suicide to reach the "space ship" following the Comet Hale-Bopp in 1997).

Mostly though, suicide is a means to an end, and the last resort after nobody hearing their cries for help.

Any other questions on the matter?


Gem's picture

Richard thanks for the thorough and insightful reply!!

This topic is one that I know very little about and have very little experience with in my life (I've never been directly affected by it). Religiously I was raised Muslim so that could be a reason as to why. Could talk a tiny bit about that: religiously in Islam, suicide is typically looked at as a disgraceful thing that a person could do to themselves and their family; aside from the extremists (who are trying to classify and justify themselves as martyrs and rationalize a free ticket to heaven for themselves), suicide is accepted as forbidden in the religion with the idea behind it being that a God created each of us, and he is the owner of our lives (and stemming from that, “our” lives aren't ours to take, and if you do take this life which doesn't belong to you, you will go to hell). 

I did want to ask about one thing that was being discussed in my class today. We were talking about the Santa Barbara shooting and our feminist teacher was very quick to point out to us that these shooters will always be men (of course she would be quick to point that out haha, but it got me to thinking). 

Why will it tend to be men that are the mass murderers or the suicide killers, would it be because it’s testosterone/rage-fueled (something that women don’t have within them)? That would be my guess (if I had to guess); maybe you know the answer here?

You hear about women who committed suicide but these shooters and mass murderers tend to be guys (from my theory, this would be because of the same reason why guys will be more aggressive and fighters and stuff), maybe it’s just a male thing?


Richard's picture


I love your questions bro - it's a great excuse for me to whip out reserves of psychology haha.

When you look at gender differences from a psychological, or sociological point of view then it's not that hard to see why it's mostly men who commit suicide or commit mass homicide.

For one - there are the biological reasons (like men having higher levels of testosterone) that make men more physically aggressive, sure. But when it comes to murder and suicide, social implications are perhaps the biggest culprit.

Men have this societal idea thrust upon them - that they cannot fail, cannot appear weak or helpless, etc.

Now, a higher percentage of women attempt suicide, but a higher percentage of men are successful in their suicide attempts. This goes back to the societal ideas that men live with - men take extreme means to commit suicide because they simply cannot fail at it.

Think about how a man would be viewed who decided to commit suicide (usually means he thinks he's a loser, deadbeat, failure anyway), then on top of that can't even kill himself properly. That seems like the ultimate form of failure to a man. So, men take the more extreme measures to carry out their plans because they are not "allowed" to fail.

Women however, do not have these ideas put on them and usually cannot create the extreme measures that men do and thus don't carry them out.

Then, if you want to go back to biology - physical stature is another reason. Men usually have the physical capability to carry out their plans while it's more of a struggle for women. Even with a weapon, some women simply cannot handle the drawbacks of using that weapon.

Another reason is - women are the emotional givers in society. Think about it, Elliot did this because he didn't have receive affection or attention from women. Well, women don't have this problem - they talk out their issues, are always around one another, and are "there" for each other. Both sexes in society rely on women for support - and it's much more likely that guys are the one's not receiving that support network. So, when you mix Elliot's views of himself and the world with the lack of a support network then you've got the makings of a murderer/suicide.

Women though, grow up socializing with one another, they learn to flirt, play with one another, etc. So - most women have that vital support network and can safely, and rather easily unload their feelings to willing listeners without ever needing to commit serious actions like this.

Two examples:

- In a long term marriage - if the wife dies first, the husband is much more likely to die shortly afterwards because he usually doesn't have the support network that his wife would have if he died first.

- While growing up, until adolescence, most groups of kids consist of same-sex peers, and co-ed groups usually don't form until after age 12 (give or take). So women are almost always around women, and guys around guys. Since girls are always around girls - from a very early age that support network is formed.

So, to sum it all up:

The gender differences in suicide, and mass murder can be seen as the result of:

-Differences in hormonal levels, and biological factors
-Differences in social networks, and support groups (and access to them)

Any other questions buddy or does that about answer everything on your mind?


Peacer's picture

Hey chase.. !

I need some advice regarding this. I have been trying to be a good conversationalist for some time now..! But, When you talk to someone, do you think what you are going to say.. ? I have read somewhere here, you read what she wants at that moment and react to according to that..

How do you do that in a conversation.. ? How do you find that extra bit of time to think, " what she needs, what you need to tell.."...? Can you do it very fast..or do you use that "Pregnant Pause" method for it.. ?
But, if you use that always, it seems to be bit too much I guess..!

Is it something you get from your experience, Is it something you can gain from experience..?

When a girl asks a question.. ?
Normally, Our minds automatically give the answer. What I have seen with my relationships experience is ,it also can lead you to lot of dramas sometimes.. ! Because sometimes, we say things that we don't want to tell actually.. after saying them, then we disappoint, "Why the hell I told that.. ?" It had happened to me lot..
After sometime, We feel that there are lot of ways to handle that same issue with different angles.. Sometimes, you can find lot of answers, solutions for the same problem if you give yourself sometime..!

I don't know whether I can explain this properly.. But what I feel is, we are in so much rush in our minds.. !

When someone ask you a question.. ? How do you handle those.. ?
How do you find that extra bit of time to give the correct answer.. !

In conversation, how do you find that extra bit of time.. ?

Are there any tips.. or It is something I want to learn prom just practice..? Thank you...!

Richard's picture

Watching the video was like a distant call to the old me before I started pick-up - can definitely relate to how this guy felt.

Disheartening to say the least.

David Riley's picture

Hey Richard,

I think a lot of guys can relate to what this guy was feeling and saying. He was very frustrated but his ideas of women were just so far gone. He didn't have anyone to lead or to guide him. He was dead set in his beliefs and that's what caused him to fail. Instead of changing himself, he wanted women to change for him. A lot of us have adopted new personas and grown into better men. Elliot insisted that women should just love him because of how great he thought he was. It was his ultimate arrogance that was his downfall. He starting blaming everyone for his problems instead of owning up to his problems. I think when guys watch the video especially myself, I think "Wow, I never want to go back to such a dark time."

Just Dave

dave's picture

J.D. - I sincerely hope that on good thing that comes out of this tragedy that the "incels", as we call them, are supposed to act and fake and "become" the cool dude that this Rodger fellow was trying to do.
I do not like the culture which led this young man to feel like "less than a man because he was still a virgin at 22. Something should be done about that.There are a LOT os Elliot Rodger's out there!

David Riley's picture

Hey Dave,

I agree something should be done for the Elliot Rodger's out there, I've been talking to my guys a lot about this topic. A lot of guys need to stop putting so much pressure on themselves and just learn to love themselves and enjoy life. Too many guys envy things that are so superficial. They become obsessed with what they don't have. I always tell guys that they need to try things a different way. Trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is insanity. It drives them crazy, I tell them to step back and try things from a different angle. I also tell guys that girls aren't everything. I tell them it's very important to develop real interest instead of just focusing on women. I tell them to understand that the "perfect" girl in their head doesn't exist. It's all about bringing them back ton reality. Another thing I do is let them vent, there are so many young men who are just so angry and bitter about women. I tell them to let it go and learn from their mistakes. Life is too short to live it unhappily.

Take care,

Just Dave

Zac's picture


There's a "do do". I think it can be rephrase. what you think? :)


Charlie's picture

I do not agree with what this guy


That's mean I understand his thought process. I understand what lead him to it, because if anything I have been lower than him, way lower.

I'm 36 and I did not lose my virginity until I was 28.

I was rejected by anything and everything .

The irony this guy was a good looking guy, well good looking enough to not go long periods without sex, but as Chase says, looks don't matter that much, they are not the deciding factor because I have seen men who look was worse than Rodgers do well with women

It's happening over and over again, we saw it with George Sodini a few years ago


I think this is HUGE problem in society, male lonliness, because you'd rather be labelled as a drug pusher than a man who can't get women.

I kinda get way in some societies, you are just given a wife.

I think this is only the type of the ice-berg and it will happen more and more

Ama's picture

You summed up my thoughts exactly. What this dude went through was very relatable.

Its unfortunate that the internet sees this as a chance to creep bash and for a source of feminist anger. A lot of people are too willing to just say this guy is a creep and all guys having a hard time with women are beta creeps. I don't think anyone can argue that what he did was wrong and unfortunate, but a lot of guys can relate to what he experienced.

I wish he would have worked harder to do better with women. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone. It think the whole community would have been happy to see him work at his goals and become successful.

David Riley's picture

Hey Ama,

That is the very unfortunate thing about this situation because of a lot of guys do feel the way Elliot felt. I have seem intense gender wars on social media as a result of the catastrophe. It's very disheartening to see actually. I do hope as a community we can work together to keep something like this from happening anytime soon.

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

...of the hundreds of articles I've read on the subject of dating since high school to middle adulthood and from numerous authorities such as David DeAngelo, Christopher Gray, John Alanis, Michael Masters, Daniel Kammer and dozens more, your article about the mindset, and genetic, social, subconscious-processes,etc., is the BEST article I've read relative to "nuts and bolts whys."

You answered many of my "whys" where I'd been beating myself but no other authority I've read took it to the "real." You mentioned some things that took the fog from the air for me. You are one of the best and many need the information but don't have the acumen to really search. Thanks Chaste! Thanks GGCY!

lone drifter's picture

I can definitely see where he was coming from. Im 20 and still a virgin. But sometimes I honestly wish I was born female instead of male. I seriously say that with the bottom of my heart. Women, even ugly ones, Can get sex pretty much anytime they want without having to do pretty much anything. I on the other hand must embark on a years-long quest that will test my ego and my self-esteem. I don't care if biology made it that way, women have incredible power they don't even realize they have, I would it even say they have too much power. Im not gay but I wish I was a woman so I wouldn't have his empty place in my heart. It's just not fair chase; it's just just not fair. I just had to say what was on my mind.

tayoisrich's picture

Seriously Man.... I just want to bitch slap you over and over! This is the same victim mentality that chase is talking about. have you ever been an ugly girl to know that females have it easier??? I advise that you re-read this article and the other recommended articles that chase linked to or else I would track you down and give you a serious beating with a Koboko (leather whip in my country's language) soaked in pepper...

PS: females have lots of problems too... it seems you are under 21 years that is why you are sounding like this... I wish i could slap your face. If you were my younger brother I would have slapped your face straight away and do it over and over till you face reality! Wake up nobody owes you anything... pick yourself up and improve yourself so that you can have the abundance of pussies that you want.

PS:PS: If you don't re-read this article with other recommended articles I would track you down and give you a massive beating with my koboko (leather whip)!!!!

PS:PS:PS: you are so lucky you are not my Junior brother... :-)

I hear voices in my head...

Chase Amante's picture

Lone Drifter-

For context, just in case it's missed or isn't apparent, Tayo is saying this in a, "Come on men, get your act together - I know you can do better than this!" way. He's a good guy ;)


blogster's picture

just to step in here, i don't think he is saying that anyone owes him anything. rather he is acknowledging that women DO have the natural advantage. saying so doesn't make him in the same league as this elliot kid.

Chase himself has even said this and it boils down to wombs being more biologically valuable. pointing it out doesn't make him a bitch. the frustration is understandable when you realise that most men have to work much harder.

put it this way - how many male escorts are there? how many female escorts? rest my case.

tayoisrich's picture

Quote from Lone Drifter - ["It's just not fair chase; it's just just not fair. I just had to say what was on my mind."] - my friend Mr Blogster, he is not just acknowledging the fact that the average "young" woman has a slight advantage over men, he is entering into the door of self pity, helplessness and victim mentality. The reason why we are here is to improve our skills with women and also our lives. A man that has transformed himself into the kind of man that women want is light years ahead of the average "young" woman. My intention is to let him know that once he transforms himself into a sexy, confident, powerful, humble (etc.. etc..) man he would have more than he can handle even if supposedly according to him - women's lives are a lot more easier than men - which is NOT as he thinks!

PS: Lone Drifter is not acknowledging anything... he is entering into self pity and victim mentality (the word to watch out for when listening to them is this - "it is not fair" and they would keep saying it for anybody to hear) !!!

PSPS: I can recognize it when I see it - I HAVE BEEN THERE ALSO and I wish when I was 21 years, and I wish I had somebody to put me straight back then.

PSPSPS: Life is not fair... WE KNOW!!! that does not mean you should keep saying it over and over! Instead improve your chances to get what you want from life... :-)

The more a man keeps talking about how life is NOT fair... the more he would not be able to put the effort to make life want he wants it to be!

Nobody is going to give you what you are looking for just because you had the best excuses on why you could NOT get it... always remember this when you are racking up excuses in your head!

No woman would DONATE her pussy to any man just because it is not fair that women have the slight biological advantage when it comes to sex... so saying it does not mean anything... stop complaining and acknowledging, we KNOW ... just wake up and transform yourself!

I hear voices in my head...

Dante's picture

Thank you, thank you, thank you Chase for writing this article. I heard about this story and watched the video 2 days ago and all I could think was "Wow, this guy has a seriously heavy case of victim and entitlement mentality" and it just made me very sad because (even though I have never seriously considered suicide or homicide) I know I have had similar victim themed thoughts about the world being so cruel to me and everyone else living the lives that I wanted to live.

I only wish that I had known him so that I could have pointed him to the great content on this site.

In regards to the evolution and suicide theory, that is some frighteningly enlightening stuff. Very fascinating. Nature is indeed a cruel yet efficient bitch.


Franco Lombardi's picture

I just shared a very similar sentiment with all of my friends via a rather lengthy Facebook post.

At the very least, if ANY of you are having similar thoughts as to what Elliot Rodgers is having here, PLEASE make an effort to reach out to Chase or myself (via the forum). We have both overcome depression from a similar standpoint and have succeeded with women in ways that we didn't even think were imaginable.

Everything Chase has mentioned above is the truth, and if we can somehow take you from where Elliot was to where we are now, we will have not only saved YOU but possibly the lives of others as well.

Trust this material and put it into practice. It works. =)

- Franco

David Riley's picture

Hey Franco,

That's huge Franco, I want all the forum members and commentators on the website to know we're one big community. We're here to help and assist whenever possible. I know, Matt, Richard and I have gotten personal phone calls from members on the forums from members who just wanted to talk about life. We're here to help guys and we truly mean that. We're not here to bring anybody down or to judge anyone. We're here to help you all have better lives.

Just Dave

Richard's picture

Definitely -

I'm always available on the boards via PM if anyone wants to talk about their issues or is seeking advice.

As Dave said - we've all gotten personal phone calls from guys who needed help and it's as easy as asking for one of our numbers.


MonsterzRock's picture

I thought the same thing Chase and Franco mentioned, if he had only found this site and thought that any of it could be true. Or if he had bothered to catch this article the day before the killing spree could it have given him some pause before taking further action (see link below).

Chase & Franco, do you see some of the parallels I'm seeing with this article and the concepts you teach/write here GirlsChase? I would love to hear your feedback on this. Thanks!


David Riley's picture

Hey Monsterz,

I found some articles that address some of the characteristics in the article.




I'll also let Chase and the other writers know about the rest of the characteristics.

Just Dave

George K's picture

I don't have a request or a question, but I just wanted to say thanks for the life-changing piece of works that Chase and the whole GC team has written. The articles on this website has helped me see the mistakes I've been making with girls all these years and helped me improve as a person in general.
Recently, I've gotten myself a girlfriend and I've been told by my female friend that I show more compassion than her girlfriends!!! Holy shit!
This is all thanks to the whole team, so I just wanted to thank you all! Please keep this site going for as long as possible to help poor, clueless guys like me! Ahaha

alexstampfl's picture

Hey Chase, first off, thank you soooo much for posting this article. When i heard the story about Elliot, i was disturbed of how much i related to him even though i would never think about killing any one. I'm 22 and though i've kissed two girls before, i'm still a virgin. I live in chicago, and i'm constantly surrounded by everyone making me feel unwanted and undesireable for still being a virgin. I've been struggling with this for the last 10 months now. So thank you soo much. I know you can't personally smack me in the face, but i kind of wish you could. lol I'm going to make it my mission to memorize and make the how to kiss a girl in public happen.

so thank you chase, and i hope you see this.

Alex S.

David Riley's picture

Hey Alex,

I appreciate your "I''m gonna make it happen." attitude it's very refreshing. A lot of guys need to learn to take matters into their own hands. They can't mope around and expect to get good with women if they never try. I hope things go well for you.

Take care,

Just Dave

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