6 Ways Online Dating Compares vs. Meeting Women in Real Life | Girls Chase

6 Ways Online Dating Compares vs. Meeting Women in Real Life

Chase Amante

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online dating comparison
Dating apps and online dating are a fast, low effort way to meet loads of partners. But are they a perfect substitute for real life?

Over the last 15 years, the way people use the Internet to date has changed, in some ways.

But in other ways, it's remained exactly the same.

The first time I tried online dating, in 2004, it was still sort of a new, fringe thing. There weren't that many people dating online. There were around 1,000 online dating websites at the time (844, according to Wikipedia). Today, according to Forbes, 1,000 new online dating sites open each year. Match.com and Adult Friend Finder were the big fish then (the founder of AFF, Andrew Conru, invented online dating in 1994). Scammers were already well established; a clever spam message from a gorgeous girl-next-door type with a phone number two digits short claiming she saw me on Match.com, where I'd recently deactivated my account, lured unlucky-in-love 2004 me into paying $50 to for some fake dating site before I'd figured out what happened. Online dating at the time had a reputation of being a place desperate losers and awkward weirdoes went to. If you tried online dating, there was probably a reason, and that reason was likely an unfortunate one.

Since 2004, I've tapped online dating to meet women in various ways. Online is a useful supplement, but it's always taken the back seat to real life for me. Of late though I've seen online dating and dating apps become a lot more prominent among men. Meanwhile the portion of their women guys meet in real life is falling.

This is not a good thing for men, for many reasons. You may not want to hear it, but swiping your way through a dating app and thinking you are doing "game" is often not going to lead you where you want... unless you have a very clear idea about what you want.

But it's not all bad news and gloom. Sometimes, the right dating app can be just what you need.

Today let's compare online dating and dating apps to meeting women in the real world. We'll compare along six (6) dimensions:

  1. Quality

  2. Quantity

  3. Intentions

  4. Effort

  5. Risk

  6. Satisfaction

Let's go.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



SZ's picture

1. That article about that professor was crazy and very ironic since he met her in real life. What should he have done in this entire situation Chase? at what point should he have known that this girl was about bad news? and how should he have handled everything after sex?

2. with the forum member, hope he's doing better. what do you think he could have done to prevent his situation? and that oral sex thing makes no sense to me? how did he lose that? how is that even possible that wasn't consensual? but what could he have done to not have this happen? how does a person have consensual sex in every category? do they have to ask before they do everything?

So how could these two situations have been avoided if sex was still to happen?? what could they have done to save themselves after sex or right before it? It sounds like for them everything happened to fast for them to realize any flags. and you just can't avoid sex from all women, so avoiding them would not have saved them because it could have happened with another chick. So what could they have done?



Joe London's picture

Hi Chase. Very interesting article here! I have done lots of online/app usage and recently started some direct daygame (around 20 street approaches so far but looking to branch out and try different venues). I have to say that, after reading this article, I think that you're being a bit too harsh on online.

One thing that you didn't account for is cost. It should be considered separate to effort because there are plenty of guys willing to put in the effort but unable or unwilling to schedule it. Real life is expensive in the sense that it takes up a LOT of time. In my sessions, it was 5 approaches done in 90 minutes to 2 hours. The wing who I know who managed to do 20 approaches in one session (continuing his session after I went home) was out a total of 7 hours. When you consider that even the best daygamers are getting just one date every 20-30 approaches, you see how meeting women in real life is very time consuming. Don't forget that we have to add travel time to this too. Online, it's totally reasonable to expect that a guy could work up to 2 hours total time spent on apps/sending messages to arrange a single date. In real life cold approach, the numbers I put there suggest that it is impossible to match that on average. Remember also that the more hours of approach sessions we do, the less time we spend on other things and the closer we are to the guy whose only hobby is picking up women (which we don't want to be, as you said!). I was at a point at which I couldn't work on writing a book or doing research because I had to go for my scheduled approach session. Now is that a good thing or a bad thing you tell me...

Regarding quality, I was able to hide my poor fundamentals online by taking deceptively good photos. Doing this, I got some exciting ladies with e.g. lots of interesting interests, a passion for art or science, a well-directioned career, lots of intelligence etc. out on dates. I found that being an interesting guy yourself can actually get you quite far online. They weren't ugly either. In my daygame adventures, I have found that a guy is totally at the mercy of his fundamentals. If he does not look good, the woman he approaches will feel charmed and happy at his direct opener, but then hit him with "thank you for that; I have to go" very soon. Posture, voice, eye contact, dress etc. has, for me, only served to improve the reception to the direct opener. It hasn't turned a no girl into a yes girl, but rather turned a no girl into a polite and happy no girl. And there "I have to go" girls were much less exciting than the ones I find online! The point is that maybe an interesting, successful or socially savvy guy can do better online than he would in real life, where only his fundamentals, and none of those other things matter.

Thirdly, you do indeed find more victimized or eccentric ladies online. But consider that not all ladies are open to going on a date with a guy who they met on the street. If we restrict to the ladies who are open to it, do you think that we might find a higher prevalence of eccentric or victimized ladies? Just something to consider.

Anyway, this is only from my experience of doing direct daygame on the weekends. I have not tried other real life avenues yet. E.g. social circle could be a world of difference. Overall, I think that you're being too harsh on online.

Aiden J's picture

Quantity alone is why online apps are better than direct approach in today's world. What are the odds you'll meet a girl who is very attractive, has her sh*t together, is smart, single, and has similar interests as you when you do direct approach? Probably very low. Online, however, you can and will probably meet that person. I did - I was in a 3 year relationship with a girl I met on Tidner. I had the most meaningful relationship with her compared to any girl I met offline. The sheer volume makes it so much more likely that you'll meet the type of girl you're looking for.

Every single girl is using an online dating app. Most just make themselves unseen when they're not using it.

@Joe London, you nailed it. I'm a pretty attractive male and I have tons of success online. I think looks is huge online, not anywhere near as important in direct approach. Also, I wonder how many women around Chase's age or women looking for guys his age are online. And cost/time is a huge factor. Going out to game is takes up way too much time and effort. Times are a changin' as they say. Very hot, very high value girls find online to be a safe and relable way for them to meet attractice, high value males. I have plenty of friends who are in long term relationships with people they met online and one of my best friends married a girl he met on an app.

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