Fixing Your Woman's Bad Behavior with Sex | Girls Chase

Fixing Your Woman's Bad Behavior with Sex

Chase Amante

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fix bad behavior with sex
Want the most enjoyable way to fix a girlfriend’s bad behavior? Do it with sex! However, you must be careful to do this the RIGHT way…

I was too late with yesterday’s Recommended Reading list to make Tactics Tuesdays this week. But we’ll still cover a useful tactic for your relationships regardless.

Today’s tactic focuses on fixing a female partner’s behavioral problem through a mix of calling a problem out both before and during (good, but not great) sex.

This is an ‘intermediate’ level tactic and up. I don’t suggest it for beginners... you need to be fairly dominant already with women to pull it off, and you need fairly solid social calibration/timing. If you’re still building your confidence around women, save this tactic for once you’ve built up more.

You’ll also want to save this for your more girlfriend-level relationships. Using it with friends with benefits is too much; while it’s a great technique for behavior-shaping, it also communicates to the girl that you are really looking out for her, and this is a bit too much for casual relationships.

The gist of the technique is you will tell a girl to knock off a bad behavior... then begin sex with her... then, when the sex is good (but not before then), you’ll tell her in a dominant-yet-protective way that you want her to cut off the behavior and how it is for her own good.

Before we get to the technique though, we need to talk about one aspect of it.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

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Comments

Lawliet's picture

Like they throw in some sexual banter, which is pretty rare for me. I'm used to dealing with girls who are more subtle than to be the pursuer themselves...

This is technically good behaviour, so how do we reward it so it keeps coming? Can't be just jumping on her right away...right? ;)

Though the concept of the game makes me just act coy. Not denying interest, but not saying "Sign me up!" even though I haven't dealt with this before.

She seems to be more intrigued and says "Aww you're playing hard to get" which I don't know how to play to. Usually just skeptical eyes with a knowing smile but verbally I'm not sure.

or "Aww your playing hard to get act is so cute... (not sarcastic). She confirms with "I like a challenge"
So direct...it feels like I'm the prey. But I don't wanna change the frame, I like it this way.
Though I might have trouble keeping the ball up in this flirting game.

What do you do in these situations? I remember you saying "mirror" but could you go more detailed. Helps with my calibration because some times when she's saying silly sexual things, we can be outrageous sexual joking teasing their offhanded comment not directed at us. But what if it's directed between us?

Some good dialogue examples would help with developing my wit in this situation :)

Just a side note, I know you said you hate me asking "Girl did X, what do we do?" and lately I've been posting "Girl says X, how do we maintain frame control?" so just wanted to double check you're fine with it, because when it comes to wit for me, it seems being exposed to more and around wit people seems to help me develop it. There's No formula or anything sadly. So I intentionally ask more generic "She did X" so it's more applicable to vary situations so any reader can get value from your answer instead of a specific situation where it can't be applied elsewhere (ex. Girl is auto reject and says X, what should I do) unless it's a common saying or dialogue.

Anyway, enough spiel, feel free to tell me if you believe it won't help me or readers, or it doesn't flow with you. I am still inexperienced so I trust your call and respect it.

Best regards,
Lawliet

P.S. Side question

Given a situation when she's being the "prowler," I feel if I played my cards right, this will lead to exactly what you were talking about "making sex HER PRIZE and reward" instead of "HER POWER over men". If the frame is kept right and ending with a toe curling night...she'll crave more and then the tables are turned. Reward loop! I know you said you won't write in a public comment enlisting and detailing exactly step 1 to 10 on how to do this, but wanna point me in the right direction? :D My Psychology major side going frenzy...and so is my ethics course I assure you :).

Side question 2: Different types of girls
I realize there are some girls who are more chasey, like direct in their interest "You're such a tease!" or "I like a challenge" or even throwing direct sexual banter. These types seem to be more fun. I'm not talking about submissive or feisty girls, and they can still be feisty in these situations.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-much-interest-show-girl-3-conside...
I'm not talking about the types of girls here. More of girls who are more agressive with their interest as opposed to others. Although there might be some connection.

Some girls aren't as fun with these fun banter and active playing in our interactions, but they are more subtle, and you can only find out when you ask for compliance and she complies. It's like two different playfield entirely.

Any guidelines or rule of thumbs to help me switch gears for this or how to activate a girl's chasey side...because just as all girls have a sexual adventurous side, I believe this is something we can trigger given the right cards...
I know you briefly addressed this on the "how much interest to show" in the article above, but are there more details for juggling between these two types? Rules or guidelines, things to avoid etc.

Additionally, All girls can be direct and fun given the right situations! :) I think we can trigger these sides. How would we do that?
Forgive me for having too much fate in girls (you mentioned about some girls you encountered are too boring before) ;)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

If you tell her to knock off bad behavior and she gets turned on, that's fine. That's actually a pretty normal thing to have happen... many women get turned on by being chewed out or told "no" by their man. Proceed as in the article. If you're concerned you'll seem like you're taking a cue from her, just be more dominant than her. e.g., she strokes your face, you take her hand, pull it down, turn her around, and bend her over.

Yeah, sure, "what do you do in X situation?" is fine. I'm just not dealing with the "huge long detailed situation where guy wants Chase to tell him what to do to turn things around with a certain special girl" scenarios now -- much as I'd like to help guys with these issues, each one of these is way too time consuming, and there are so, so many guys who want specific advice for their situations like this.

... you're sort of on the path with reversing the "who chases for sex" dynamic, but missing a key step. I'll say no more on that though.

As far as triggering chasing in girls, did you pick up a copy of One Date? The entirety of TDA Module 1 (which you get free when you purchase One Date) is completely devoted to this!

Switching mentally between aggressive interest showing girls and subtle girls... just go for compliance. As soon as you're getting girls to invest, you'll be able to get your bearings a lot more easily. It's fun to flirt and banter with flirty, bantering girls who comply, and it's fun to just impose your will on the less flirty girls who nevertheless go along with whatever you ask of them. Compliance is the key; get her to follow your lead, and matching her interaction style will feel comfortable and natural. You may also want to review the Social Styles article for a bit more on adapting, too.

Chase

Kobad 's picture

Thanks Chase!
Through reading lots of he work you’ve done I came to realize that the standards you impose are the sexiest of all the articles you ever wrote.
Remember saying better off calling later than 10 or afternoon..was wondering what if they make a call at those times?
What I’m asking is more of your killer standards that let’s a girl fall for you harder that indicates a high caliber mate “not to be compared”?

Merci a lot, Kobad

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Kobad-

Well, it depends on the relationship with the girl.

If she's some girl I haven't slept with but the vibe is really good and I want to talk to her, I'll usually answer her call whenever she calls, unless I'm busy. And if I'm busy, I'll shoot her a text not long after she calls like "Hey -- in a meeting. Will give you a bell after. What's up?" Works similarly with girls I am already sleeping with.

If we haven't slept together but the vibe also isn't amazing, or we had a good vibe but she's been difficult (maybe I brought her home but she wouldn't sleep with me), I might answer with a tone more along the lines of "Hey. What's up?" and just sort of be 'there' on the call and give her the chance to lead things to something if that's what she's trying to do. Or if she doesn't and just wants to chat, after a few minutes I will tell her all right, well, I'm in the middle of [whatever] and kinda have to run. At that point half the time the girl will say we should hang out (in which case you just say yeah, for sure, I'll text you -- then text her later to set that up) and the other half the time she just says okay sure, and you can tell she feels like there's been some power loss in her side... she probably hoped you'd take charge and try for a date and she'd be able to accept or reject, and instead you just got off the phone with her. Easy to then call her later that night after she's had half a day to stew on it, and have her be a lot more receptive.

That's just how I deal with those... haven't really thought those situations through before, so I'm not sure exactly what the lessons there are. But that's my approach for girls proactively calling at off-hours of the day.

(also, it's probably worth considering I genuinely don't like being interrupted, so it's not so hard for me to effect that "I'll be patient and listen for a few minutes, but you need to get to the point because I'm very busy" feeling)

Chase

SZ's picture

1. So I read your resilient article and I'm trying to find out how I can become resilient in the online world.

With different girls is one thing, but to have an internet audience is another. 

I plan on being more on the social media side of building an online business because the cost is a lot lower and I wanna get started on something soon because I can't build a physical business now.

With what I plan go do there are a lot of real young people like teens and they talk shit all of the time, there's adults as well. And I'm an emotional guy I don't know if I can take all of the shit talking and criticism. I don't like attention at all, but it's like I ran out of options to make alot of money resonably soon, and most people who've I've seen become very successful doing this were out of options as well. If they didn't do this who knows what they would be doing.

 

I have a lot of anxiety, like shaking sweating anxiety, and hate being the center of attention, when I am I get extremely nervous, I'm very emotional off of shit talking, but I'm tired of not getting anything, I'm guessing this is a sign for me to do something I really don't want to do because the normal path isn't working for and hasn't in almost a decade even with some education.

If you have tips for me to deal with my anxiety with attention and emotional feelings of shit talking and criticism please let me know.

I want to become resilient to all of the attention and shit talking, I want to be built for it aand be strong. I never even had social media before because of it, I didn't even try online dating. So this is an extreme way of putting myself online and actually putting myself out there a lot.

2. My sparring clip, I just worry people will think I'm weak if they see it and not take me seriously. The platforms I plan to be on have a lot of confrontation and people like to find information to make you look bad. 

Any advice on how I could fix this situation so I won't look weak? 

3. Online confrontation; how would I deal with it? That's another anxiety thing. I want to look strong and be respected at all times.

4. I have a problem with putting myself out there because of my age and what I don't have. I feel so bad and I'm worried of people finding out that I'm not accomplished at all and will look at me bad. Plus all of my business will be all over the Internet which I don't want. I'll keep it all to myself, but just making sure.

5. One thing I never understood, there's a lot of men with mental illnesses that make videos about their life. From being broke, a loser, to not getting women, being an incel, etc.

These people are making fools of themselves and talking about how bad their lives are and how they suck. How can they even do this without caring ? They say this to everyone on the Internet and they don't care?  How can those people have more courage to out themselves online more than me? They're  out of shape, can't get women, say they're losers, and they don't care about putting it out there. How do they do it without worry ? 

6. How would I deal with haters from my past trying to talk about bad things that happened and try to ruin my fanbase? How should that be handled? 

7. Lastly, how do you even have the courage to put yourself online for the world to see? How do you remain strong through it all? So many people are doing this and making money while I'm not, people's lives are changing and I need a piece of the pie to get ahead. I want to be able to put myself online and start making some real money.

I want to be able to be mentally strong for this, I want to do this, I want to be able to handle this and make real moves.

I want people to take me serious and respect me.

Thanks for all the help.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Getting used to Internet critics takes years. When I started my first website in 2002 and got criticism there, it really hurt, and made me come close to just getting off the web. Takes quite a while to build a thick skin. Much of the most baseless accusations just roll off my back these days, just because eventually you understand the nature of the Internet... lots of passersby, many of whom know very little about you or your work, who react to some specific thing they do not like, and decide that since it's anonymous they can unleash all their darkest demons and most vicious virulence directly at you, however they know how.

That stuff stops bothering you eventually (sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me), but it takes quite a while if you're sensitive. I don't know any other way than lots and lots of exposure, though. It's tough for a lot of people - e.g., the folks who close their own social media accounts after coming under fire for whatever thing they said that X group did not like.

In general, with online confrontation:

  • On channels you control (like moderated comments or forums), allow worthwhile criticism but not ad hominems / baseless attacks / pure venom. The really bad stuff is not just nasty to you but makes the people who like you feel worse and attracts and emboldens other mud-slinging critics who just want to say mean things rather than make worthwhile critiques. Ad hominem (personal attacks / mockery / insults) is just really, really bad for maintaining group cohesiveness and a positive atmosphere, and is used by enemies to undermine you and your community
  • On channels you have control but that get flooded with negative comments, like a YouTube video that goes viral but gets lots of hate, you either need to abandon the comments to the negative commentators or need to hire someone to handle moderation for you. Best example that comes to mind is President Trump's Twitter feed. Trump tells aides what to type into Twitter and doesn't go onto Twitter or even type it himself. Thus he never sees the flood of very bitter people who mock, insult, and ad hominem him on every tweet he makes. There's no way to deal with a huge flood of bitter enemies, which you will get if you're any kind of polarizing figure who attracts much attention. So at that point all you can do is treat the platform as a way to get your message out, while completely avoiding any contact at all with the peanut gallery
  • On channels you have no control over, don't even go to those channels and certainly don't read them. I've had guys send me links to forum conversations or whatnot on sites that aren't ours where some guy or other is criticizing me or GC. Sometimes other guys on the thread defend me/us, sometimes others pile on. I don't worry about those places... it would look lame and weak for me to make an account there and try to defend myself, and it'd be a waste of time and make me FEEL bad too. Usually I just won't even read that stuff

I forget who it was... it was some elderly author. But they asked her if she'd read all the wonderful things people had said about her over the years. And she said no, she never reads the papers, and especially never reads anything about herself. You start reading the praise, and you have to read the criticism, she said, and the criticism feels much worse than the praise feels good.

As for people making videos about how much their lives suck... not every guy treats his public image as something to maintain impeccably. For some men it's a catharsis; for others it's a cry for help; others may be playing the victim politics game ("whoever's the biggest loser wins!").

Haters from your past aren't a threat. They seem scarier than they are. Everybody has folks from his past that show up and say "I knew SZ when he was blah blah, and he was a complete loser and nobody liked him!" and nobody cares. All people care about is who you are now. If somebody says Brad Pitt was a sexless loser in high school people just think that's kind of interesting, then mostly forget about it... they don't say "Oh wow, now I have to completely reconsider my opinion of Brad Pitt."

As for the courage... just knuckle up and put something out there.

And get used to taking the hits when the nasty comments start to come in (and they always do).

Chase

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