How to Be Charming with Women You Meet (10 Steps) | Girls Chase

How to Be Charming with Women You Meet (10 Steps)

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Being charming is a trait most of us are taught to aspire to from a young age. From fiction novels to Disney movies, the ladies always seem to swoon for that man who can charm his way right into their hearts.

how to be charming

But how do you get to be a charming man? And how important is charm in your process of seduction?

Today I’m going to give you a comprehensive look into charm. And it probably won’t be exactly what you expect. Charm is a double-edged sword that can be a great boon in certain situations, but a harmful bane in others.

I’m going to help you figure out when it’s most useful, and how to effectively wield your charms for seductions and relationships.

Colt WilliamsAbout the Author: Colt Williams

Raised in the American Midwest, Colt Williams made a name for himself in dating with a style based on soulful poetic seductions and playful dance floor antics. His style is all about inspiring girls and drawing them into one’s world. You can book phone coaching with him here, or get a copy of his guide to getting laid on Tinder, the product of months of study and experimentation by him on the medium.



Troy's picture

this is my favourite article from you Colt. Thanks and your articles always add a icing to the cake! Respect

Colt Williams's picture

I appreciate the love! Thank you, Troy!


blubby's picture

"Before I really started stepping up my game with women, I was always very concerned with what people thought about me. I didn’t go after certain goals because I was afraid of what people would say if I failed or if I made myself look stupid. I didn’t go after certain girls – not because I was respecting the bro code – but because I didn’t want some orbiter being upset with me for trying to go after “his girl.” "
This is exactly my situation. Lucky me I had the idea to visit GC one last time before going to bed. And I wrote this comment before I have even read the whole article.

Colt Williams's picture


Sometimes life has crazy timing, my friend. Hope you made moves and it worked out for you.


340Breeze's picture

You speak about effortlessness from the perspective of the amount of effort you, the charmer, must expend in a given situation.

What about looking at effortlessness also from the perspective of you, the charmer, providing value? You do the work in secret (e.g. planning a trip, a surprise party, a gift, an outing in the park to meet a new puppy, etc) so that people around you that you like and are invested in you can have an easier time than they otherwise would. This is akin to what capitalists do..they desire your money so what do they do? They develop a product (e.g. iPhone) then make you desire it via advertising, so that you are incentivized to act on what you desire. They make it easy for you to spend $$.

So if you, the charming seducer value the time, sex, etc, from select people, make it as effortless as possible for them to spend time with you... and present things you plan in ways for them to desire spending more time with you. The main problem you face however is people not necessarily appreciating all the hard work you put in behind the scenes, and then coming to expect you to do most of the work/planning while they sit back and wait for you to delight them...

Any thoughts?



Colt Williams's picture


I say that if you are charming man, first off, you should not be doing extravagant things very often. You should do small things here and there, but if you do something extravagant:

A. You should be willing to put in the effort with the understanding that people may not appreciate how much time/planning you put in. That's part of being a strong man, if you do put in a lot of effort, you should play it off as if it was child play.

B. If they do notice, you should make it about the people when they compliment you. "340Breeze, this is such a great party! Thanks for putting in all this work." "No worries, I just wanted to make sure that everyone had a great time. I'm glad you like it. How's life?"

Those are my general thoughts. Don't do extravagance when there isn't an occasion. When you do something extravagant, people will notice, and play it off and use it to bond with them. Then you'll still be charming and strong.


Anonymous's picture

Hey guys, be so kind to answer my question.

If the girl talks about other men in her life and she basically says that her heart belongs to some guy she haven't seen in a long time, does that mean I'm in the friend zone already?


Colt Williams's picture


Her mentioning that her heart belongs to a guy of her past *does not* mean that you are in the friend zone. One of my most serious relationships came out of one of these situations. If she's mentioning that, it means that she is attracted to you and what's you to know where she stands romantically.

In these situations, it best to be light/chill about it. Just make sure that when you spend time with her, you just fun. You want to be sexual, but you want to do it in a playful way and make it clear that you're not there to put any emotional pressure on her. The funny this is, if you stay chill and fun, if you guys have good chemistry, and if you are constantly improving yourself, she will eventually develop strong feelings for you and this guy of her past will become irrelevant.

Good luck.


Anonymous's picture

Great advice, thank you

Marty's picture

Hey Colt,

Wonderful article all told, but in particular, I wanted to bring up the "lover of women" question that you put as a condition for being charming—in the appropriate way!

I'm naturally a lover of women, I simply can't help it, pretty much everything about them delights me and all the hard work I'm doing on my social arts over here, while valuable in itself, has little to do with this particular issue.

However, one thing I've noticed is odd. When a woman is not (yet) in a relationship with a man, she is attracted to him more when he is a "lover of women"—and conversely, if he dotes on her, she despises and derides him.

But once she is in a relationship with him, the preference appears to flip: all of sudden, this "me and only me" refrain appears in her repertoire, and she wants nothing more than for him to stop being a lover of women and dote on her instead.

First of all, is my read correct? It may not be. And if it is, why is it so?

Thank you!

Colt Williams's picture


Your read is mostly correct. Basically, women are naturally wired to compete for the most dominant man. So if you are a dominant man, you're not going to be spending all of your effort trying to have sex with her. You're going to be dealing with all of the women you find attractive. That's why girls don't like men who chase. She wants to beat out all of the other girls and make herself the only girl in your life if you're top quality.

However, if you do choose her, then she doesn't want to compete against other girls, at least *not to the extent* that she did before. She wants to know that she's won you...mostly. That's why you should be faithful and treat her well, but she needs to subconsciously know that she is not the be all end all in your life. So you want to tone down your love for women, but you definitely want her to know that other women still desire you -- but that she is your number one.

To the victor go the spoils.


Brian48's picture

I read ur white girl/black dude article and I saw on the comments u recommended the shadow fade and the other fades. I previously had the even cut with not a lot of waves. So me being a barber in training I gave myself the shadow fade in the mirror with the crisp lineup and everyone complimented me on it and said I should keep the style, so thanks for the advice. What your opinion on dreads tho?
I feel you on the ghetto white girl thing. I was in a relationship with a white girl in '08 who despite being raised in a middle class house did nothing but smoke weed, do coke when she could, and eventually got hooked on PCP ( she was adopted and her birth mother was drinking while she in the womb, so I think fetal alcohol syndrome had sumthing to do with it). The bitch even gave me gonorrhea.
Anyway she could cook her ass off so she had me hooked for about 2 years.I didn't really know to set boundaries or have any relationship management skills back then. I tried to control her threw verbal abuse, temper tantrums, stalking her and constantly threatening to break up with her. As you can imagine the relationship was a complete disaster.
Anyway I live in a pretty diverse area and its a lot of interracial dating. One thing I notice tho is that the white girls and Spanish girls who date out their race prefer brown to dark skin dudes while lighter skinned brothers like myself seem to take a back seat (just like most light skinned sisters normally date darker dudes).
I mean I can get them here and there like as rebound dude or whatever but feel like I'm always like a stopgap with them. You know like a jump off. I leave them alone for awhile and next time I run into them they in some serious relationship with a chocolate brother. I swear the shit never fails. Then if I ever hear from them again its only because they mad at their boyfriend and they want to fuck me out of spite or whatever.
I swear chicks be dogging light skin brothers like dudes dog whores and fat chicks. I remember reading Malcolm X when I was younger and him saying he could never be a manwhore to white women because he wasn't dark enough and that they wanted a "real" negro. I brought this topic up to my cousin whose light skinned too and he thinks I'm crazy because he gets all kinds of women. I tried to explain to him that paying to get a kinds of women isn't the same thing but he doesn't seem to get it(then he wonders why he's always broke, go figure, lol).
Anyway whats your opinion on this, I feel like I'm being discriminated against.

Colt Williams's picture


I'm glad the shadow fade worked out. It's a good cut. have to be the right kind of person to pull off dreads. If you're kind of a hippy or a little rasta, then dreads will definitely work. If you're a little eccentric, then dreads may work. But basically, dreads are a statement, so you have to be confident and own them if you want to dread your hair. And they take a lot of maintenance. But, I've never seen you before so you're better off asking people you know what they think. In terms of getting women, I personally think black men with shorter, clean-cut hair tend to do a lot better than their dreaded brothers.

I'm sorry to hear that druggie gave you and STD...but at least you learned from that unstable relationship. And your question is interesting because I've had the EXACT OPPOSITE experience. Just like your friend, I've noticed that all my half-black, half-white friends do the best with girls. They have the swag of black people, with the innocence and approachability of white people. All I can say is just keep trying man. Meet more women.

I promise there are too many girls out there who want light-skinned black men like yourself. Think about your process and if you're coming off awkwardly at all. If you're thinking about race -- even subconsciously -- girls will pick up on that and it'll hurt your chances. Just be confident and be yourself. And don't bother with girls who don't want you. Try to expand and go to new areas if you can.

But I assure you...being half black/white is an advantage. Just ask Drake.

Just keep putting in the work and one day you'll see what I mean.


Lev's picture

What an article, very deep and enjoyable to read.

This is exactly what im looking for, since im already in relationship.

I can be a charming without has to endangered my relationship.

Than you verymuch Colt, this is very enlightening =)

Keep up the good work (y)

lux7's picture

I feel the article confuses "charming" with "nice/well liked".

Charming is NOT the opposite of sexy.
Clooney is the archetype of charming, and you don't become the most sought after bachelor years and years in a row without being smothering sexy.

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