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At some point, you can’t go to the club or the frat party
anymore. But when do you get to old to party? And can you ever get too
old to meet girls?
We have a few guys on the comments and in the discussion boards who are fixated on age. These guys (in their late 20s or early 30s) worry about the future: they’re not living the lives they want right now, and they fear that in a few years it will be too late. Life will have passed them by, and they will forever regret not having done what they always longed to do. Here’s an excerpt from a recent forum post by Oh Pry:
“I like the idea of celebrating a holiday or special time of the year with a party and going to events with hot girls but at times I do like to get put it into perspective to see how long I have until I start to feel like the old guy in the group.
Even on this forum I doubt members over 30 are spending Halloween going to a party with a hot girl or having a hell of a Christmas party with hot girls doing kinky shit.
Any thoughts on this?”
We also get guys who stop by and express regret or depression that
it’s too late for them and there’s little left for them to do. These
are mostly men in their mid-to-late 50s... but we get guys in their 20s
who express this same sentiment too.
I want to tackle this article from two perspectives. One is the mindset perspective: that is, why it’s counterproductive to worry someday you’ll be too old, or feel depressed because you think you already are too old. The other will just be a straight age-opportunity rundown: what places are available venues to you at different ages?
Comments
You have to remember chase,
You have to remember chase, most of the guys finding this site have never thought it was possible to be pimping until their 80s and longer, many people feel it's over right at 30.
I have read and talked to countless people who say they're too old and they're in their early 30s, they make fun of other older men going out to meet women, younger people do it too.
The thing is, no one respects older men who don't confine into society. They're the ones that get made fun of by many people from young to old.
People always talk trash about older men, even if they just hit 30.
Shit, I just seen a video where a guy was in his mid 20s and no one knew if he was dating the girl or not, but she just turned 18. They didn't kiss or do anything, just hang out like friends, you know what happened? He got bashed by everyone from teens to 50s because of the fact she was just 18.
It's very hard to understand that older men can do this, I still feel like it's not normal, unless you're a celeb, but I have to get used to it.
My main problem is wasting time mire than anything else and not getting the wasted time back. Those are years where I could have pushed and been great by now, but I let it slip now I'm haunted by it.
If you could make an article about getting over wasted time and not letting it haunt you with regret would be a good article.
Because things happen, we tend to focus on other things then realize How much time has passed.
I'm talking about this at any age, it just feels terrible to not improve in anything and just waste years of your life not improving.
Boy do I have a lot of questions.
1. "Likewise, as a guy in his 30s, I have been sucked into college bars and parties where everyone there is late teens or early 20s."
So you have been the older man in the college spots. I've been asking this for a while. It seemed good for you, will it be ok for me Then? Plus I'll be a student there, if that matters.
2. The frat part, so if you're in the frat no matter what age, it'll be ok for you to party with Then?
Actually, will you look weird being that old dude who wants to join a frat if you're a lot older than everyone else?
3. Would it still look weird if you were friends with someone in the frat that wasn't the president or you were invited by a girl or someones friend of someone in the frat?
Also, how would an older guy even know about a frat party?
4. 18 and over clubs: my best club where I live is 18 and up, thing is there are a lot of people who go there a lot older, I mean like 50s. This is the best spot where I live to get girls, so that sucks, I actually hate this place and I remember you telling me to tough it out and keep going. Still feel the same?
Some girls think I'm 22 and older, idk how much, but it differs, but I look young. In my club we have bands that just say 21 and up, so no one knows your real age, unless u look it.
I want to get a good dozen lays from this place because I've been going here for years with no luck, when I talk about clubs, I'm mostly referring to this club all of the time, I have a huge bone to pick with that club and I'm gonna sleep with them women.
Let me know how you feel about what I said here and if it's cool for me to still go? Trust me, if there was a better place, I wouldn't go there.
I don't see too many 21 up clubs, most of the clubs are 18 and up here.
Also the club is mostly a hip hop club. Don't know if that's different.
5. What the hell is a dance club ? I'm black so I don't know if that changes anything, but I have no idea where they're at and if I even want to pick up at one. Could you explain this to me?
6. House parties.. are you talking college or regular? Are college house parties different than frat parties for older dudes? Are older men welcomed there?
7. What is a non dance club ?
8. How good can you get in one year?
9. "Just like men in their 70s can put on muscle as quickly as men in their 20s, so long as they get proper rest and nutrition, and men in their 70s can learn new things as quick or quicker than men in their 20s, men in their 70s can get pretty good with girls in 1-3 years of dedicated practice too, just like me in their 20s."
Please clarify this for me.
I see a lot of older men 50+ and they all look shit, or they're no muscular at all.
Where did you get that from men in their 70s build muscles as easy as a 20 something year old?
Never seen that in my life, unless they dude is on roids.
How can 70 year old dudes sleep around like that? I never seen an in shape 70 year old dude ever, unless he was on the news looking like he did roids.
Are these 70 year old men sleeping with 20 something chicks, or like 40s and up?
10. Does the age if where u can go really matter if you look young or are around the age? Like for your secrions where men 25 and under should go, does it really make a difference if the dude is 26-30? Will he look that bad and weird if he's only a year or two older than 25?
I'm dead serious because it maybe true, I feel it wouldn't hurt tho especially if they look younger than 25.
I asked a lot of questions, but this was a lot going through my head reading this.
Thanks, your articles are the best.
Re: You have to remember chase,
When I was in my mid 30's, after laying a few dozen girls I met one I decided to stick with - it lasted 25 years before coming to a natural end. No regrets.
I quickly discovered that new widowers attract lonely ladies over 50 like bees to a honeypot. Luckily I avoided the trap (some older women are worth chasing, just be cautious.) I began approaching younger women and had some success. Then I encountered one who continued using her 'phone throughout, even in bed whenever her hands were steady enough, which disconcerted me, so I searched the web for explanations and found a lay-report by Hector Castillo here on GC and have dropped in from to time to time ever since.
Most of the advice here is sound but has to be tweaked as you age. For example the 'slow powerful walk' doesn't work after 50 or so - it just looks old, so you have to add a little bounce and hint at repressed energy.
As for older men with young women - if you get it wrong it attracts adverse comment and in the current furore about Weinstein's misuse of power the comments might be harsh.
The secret is simple: the girl MUST have a good time. If she's obviously happy people will still comment, but now it's because they're jealous.
I don't know much about the American college fraternity system but it seems to be the sort of thing I would avoid like the plague; there should be plenty of girls outside the frats who won't feel so entitled. It's easy to meet young undergraduate girls even when over 60 'though they tend to be a bit shallow; postgrads are more to my taste. I find less educated girls more difficult but probably that's just me.
As for clubs, join one if it interests you. Otherwise create your own. Meetup groups are easy; start one and run events that will attract the sort of girls you like.
Definitely learn to couple dance: salsa, ballroom or for a quick, easy start try modern jive.
First though, it sounds like you need to address what Chase calls fundamentals, the older you are the more important they become.
Oh, that bit about 'men in their 70s build muscles as easy as a 20 something' is wrong, it should read 'men in their 70s build muscles with just as much hard work as a 20 something'; it's tough whenever. When you're older low BMI can make you look haggard. Not too overweight is fit enough for me.
You ain't 'older' yet, but you will be.
Have fun.
You Keep Getting Older but They All Stay the Same Age
That was a fun comment with some very nice perspective from Dud.
SZ, if you live your life by the opinions of others, it will be a dull life indeed. It sounds like you are here because doing what others tell you you're supposed to do has not satisfied you. So perhaps it's time to do what you want to instead, and just do it in a way that commands others' respect.
That said... if I saw some guy in his mid-20s hanging out with an 18-year-old girl "like friends" I'd give him a hard time too. What value does an 18-year-old girl have as a friend? Either you are shagging her, in which case cool; or you've been friend zoned by a teeanger which is... sad. A guy in his mid-20s should have better things to do than hang about in a teenager's friend zone.
I don't know. You seem to still need a lot of work, which is going to make it harder for you wherever you go. Further, due to your preconceptions, you're likely to ascribe failure to whatever you assume it to be - age, race, etc. When the truth is often you will not know why you fail when you do. And you may not always know why you succeed.
I don't know about frats - not my forte. Ask Hector about that; he spent a lot of time in the frats (was a fraternity president).
Go where you need to go.
But often if a place sucks, it sucks. If a place isn't working, I suggest you try hitting up some different places for a while, and take time off from the venue that doesn't work.
Circle back to that venue after a few months going other places. You will find it feels fresher and, perhaps, you'll be able to get more positive momentum rolling there.
A dance club is a club that is mostly dance floor, with very loud music, where most of what people do is dance. As opposed to a mega club (multiple floors, lots of VIP seating, numerous big bars - as many or more people standing/talking as there are dancing), a house music club or lounge (narrow hallways, lots of seating, as many/more people standing/sitting than dancing), etc.
Depends where you're starting out from. The best I've seen (if we're talking notches) is somewhere between 20-30 lays in the first year. Fairly rare though, and these are guys who were already in a reasonably good place, and just kicked it into overdrive, and also happened upon an ideal niche they were able to just pull from like crazy. I only hear from a couple guys like that per year though. Much more normal to see a new guy come in and pick up two to eight lays his first year and then settle into a long-term relationship - this is the typical trajectory.
2014 study: Similar Increases in Strength After Short-Term Resistance Training Due to Different Neuromuscular Adaptations in Young and Older Men. Primary takeaways:
Younger men (average age: 29) and older men (average age: 65) had similar strength gains from leg presses and isometric knee extensions. The older men actually gained somewhat more strength.
Younger men achieved more muscle mass than older men, even though the strenght gains between both groups were the same (this sounds like what Dud mentioned in his response to you).
Older men achieved greater muscle activation relative to younger men, which is why both groups got equally stronger but the younger men put on more muscle.
Older men also have no harder a time maintaining muscle mass than younger men do (although older women have a harder time than younger women do).
If you have your stuff together, I imagine you could. I've known a few men in their 60s who would sleep with 20-something chicks, though not 70s. Seems like most older men prefer somewhat older women though. Or they don't have much of a preference - 45 isn't too much worse than 28 if you're in your 60s, or perhaps is better, for many guys... or so it would seem. Again, not enough firsthand experience here, and I haven't interviewed any of these guys or surveyed them or anything.
Chase
Much needed article and some thoughts.
Great high quality article that really puts everything into perspective but after reading the forum post itself, seems like the concern is not just getting attractive women as much as it is building that cool social lifestyle.
We talk a lot about not being dependent on other people but I feel like to some degree, you have to kind of take note of that.
The one thing about youth and being younger is that so many people around your age are chasing that glamorous hedonistic lifestyle. You bring up frat parties but we talk about life at your typical party school in general, everyone wants to do things like party and fuck. It almost brings about this sort of community where it is okay to be a degenerate and a sense of achievement comes from that lifestyle. You get to be around a shit ton of single, attractive, and young women who lack a lot of morals and aren't prudes.
It even comes along with chasing attractive women, what can compete with a frat party thrown by a top tier frat at a party school in regards to attractive a really fucking high volume of hot girls?
Maybe it is an American thing but I feel as thought after college or maybe some point after 25, that is tougher to find and you're almost stuck chasing younger women and being around younger people. Wouldn't it just be heaven if people in their 30s were as fun loving and wild as college kids and people in their 20s?
I hate the idea of being the older guy that has to be around younger people but I feel for the guy in his 30s that takes that path because so many people around his age are, to put it bluntly, really fucking lame. They try to act better than everyone being "adults" and dissing the fun hedonist lifestyle and at some point, if you're over 30, you almost have to venture into a younger crowd if you're one of those people who missed out on youth and never had a chance to have that sort of fun.
I think this is really one of the worst tragedies of life in a first world, keyword, country.
The frat boy likely had rich parents who paid for him to party throughout college while the poor kid didn't have that so he didn't enjoy college as much, only to find that once he has started making serious money in his 30s, everyone around his age has "moved on" and "matured" . Now you're that guy with a troubled past who has started to get it together and is left wondering about the opportunities that exist after your early 20s, because after that you're supposed to have "grown up and had all of your fun already".
Sometimes I just want to say fuck American society.
30 Year Old Frat Party Lifestyle
That you, Proactivity? :D
Well, lame is in the eye of the beholder. The 35-year-old guy who is going crazy swinging his head in a party scene thinks all the other 35-year-olds who aren't wil'ing out like that are lame. But they all think he's lame too.
In fact, I had a friend in his late 30s who thought I was lame for not partying as much as he did. I saw him a year later, after he'd done a complete flip and gone into "get serious / settle down" mode, and now he thought I was lame for partying too much. I hadn't changed anything in the intervening year. Only he had changed.
I will say this: it is lame to worry too much about what other people think, and to sit there in judgment of other people. If I wanted to go spend a month partying on Koh Phangon or Mykonos I would go do it and not care. If somebody wanted to be like "Oh Chase, you are too old for that!" all they'd get would be a great big belly laugh.
My suspicion is you have some kind of lifestyle in which you are surrounded by both a.) people living a lifestyle you want to be included in, and b.) people pressuring you to live a lifestyle you feel stifled by. You likely don't have enough experience with parties to have a realistic perspective on them.
I've been to a lot of parties. And I will tell you that most of the people who go to parties do not get laid at most of the parties. Most of the parties you go to you will hang out all night, drink alcohol, have a bunch of lame conversation with people, then go home alone and pass out and wake up the next day with a hang over. Occasionally you will get laid. Until you get good at parties, then you can get laid pretty often. Eventually even after you are good you realize you shag a ton of cute girls from parties but rarely any knockouts. And then eventually you will realize that no matter where you party there are rarely knockouts there. And then you will further realize knockouts rarely go to parties. And the few who do go to parties a lot are kooky chicks you probably wouldn't want to date (and may not want to shag).
Anyway, you need to think about lifestyle. Because a party lifestyle - and what you're talking about is a party lifestyle - is a lifestyle that is built AROUND the party.
Frat brothers have lifestyles built around the frat. The frat house and frat parties are the pillar of their lives. Everything else (school, etc.) is essentially secondary. People in the nightlife industry (the real world's answer to frat parties) build their lives around nightlife. And so on and so forth.
If parties a true blue party lifestyle is your life goal, you won't get it by half-assing it. You must build your life around it.
Do that, and you can enjoy it at every age. But half ass it and you won't be able to enjoy it at any age.
Chase
Hello
I think my comment didn't go through.
1) however, most men don’t bother to make themselves attractive and powerful, particularly once older
Why don't they want to?
2) I thought life was over at 30, you just settle down, no one respects older men, they respect the younger guy with money in his early 20s, not the guy in his 30s, the guy in his 30s is supposed to have money and a nice car.
You get old and weak, your dick doesn't work as good. Girls won't like you that much and they'll have kids and be married.
You should have knocked up your high school sweetheart because you're shit out of luck.
30s are the years where u try to act young.
I always pictured 30 as crying once the day comes, you're officially old and everything fun is over. Very depressing.
I have horrible thoughts about 30s and I want them to go away.
3) why are popular bars good? I thought those were mostly filled with college kids? How can I older guy alone fit in there?
4) age discrimination is apparent, how many people you hear about making it in their 30s? Rap for example, I don't know any rappers who came out at 30, they must give up by then. And rappers over 25 get clowned for being old, I know this has nothing to do with girls, but life. And it seems people push rappers to be younger and younger.
5) I remember you wrote a reply few weeks ago about saying you could make it rapping of you tried? How do you know they would like your music and not care about age? I ask because many people feel they can't do good unless they are in their early 20s or younger.
6) how do men get better as they get older and appreciated more? Everyone else makes it seem like it's the opposite and worse time
7) I have noticed a lot if guys who said they had sex with a lot of women, lost it once they became 30.
But you say if you work on this for a year or 3 your good.
Why do they feel like it's over for them, but we can have the skills for a lifetime within a short time, unless they're lying.
Age Questions
Anon-
Myriad reasons.
Some don't think it's possible. Some don't believe it'll be worth it. Some know it won't be worth it - they already have most of what they want and the necessary expenditure of energy isn't worth the potential rewards.
There are guys who are like this. Guys who have their mortgage, car, wife, and kids by 30 and their life becomes routine. And there are guys in their 30s desperately trying to reenact their early 20s and it's transparent to all.
If you're going for women in their 30s, then sure - some are married with children. But in our age, a whole bunch aren't. Some of them are desperate for a husband. Others are career women enjoying their sexual peaks (which occurs between ages 29 to 32 for women) who just want to get laid a lot.
Erectile dysfunction doesn't usually kick in for most men until their 50s. Even then, a lot of it is related to body weight and heart health. Keep the weight off and this most likely won't be an issue.
I will say I can sort of relate to your thoughts though. I was 24 when I was hanging out with a 29-year-old buddy, and he had his 30th birthday. And he said "You know, I thought I would feel different at 30, like I suddenly got really old and life was over. But actually I feel nothing!" I hadn't thought much about age at that point, but hearing him say he was worried about 30 made me wonder if I should be worried about 30.
Anyway, at this point, I can tell you quite confidently the only age limit I worry about is what age will I be before I die. Because I expect to be fully capable up until then (or near then, if I get old and fall into poor health before the end), but not knowing when 'then' will be - and thus how much time I have to do the various things I'd like to do - is the kicker.
I didn't say they were 'good'. I don't like popular bars much myself.
However, I've seen plenty of older guys at these sorts of places, and they fit in well and have no trouble talking to younger women. There is not an age limit on this sort of venue.
In some fields, sure. Music is one. People like talent to be young. Female actresses are another - few actresses remain active past 40. Silicon Valley startup employees are another - people have a hard time getting hired there past 40 or so. But most fields aren't like that.
And if you're in a field that is? Then either be good enough to overcome the discrimination, or switch to a field that doesn't have it.
I was talking about 23 y/o me about 12 years ago, and added that I'd have been perhaps moderately successful had I tried to go commercial then. I'd have needed another 3-4 years of very hard work to get to where I needed to get to to go big time, but the motivation for it (not to mention the support network for it) wasn't there.
Self-Cultivation; or, the Art of Checking Off Boxes
I have seen guys say that. They're usually guys who mostly meet women through parties. They have a group of peers they hang out with and attend parties through, and sporadically hook up with women through those peers/parties. As they age, more and more of their peers leave the peer group to marry, and they reach a point where the parties dry up and the women disappear. And at that point they will talk to you about how it used to be so easy but now it's so hard and once you turn 30 it's all over.
I only used parties for a period of a few years... just to develop that skill set and prove to myself I could do it. But once I had it down, I looked around and said "It's as limited with a good skill set as it looked like when I was outside looking in", only I didn't have the driving need to get good at it anyway then. So I went back to almost exclusive cold approach.
The dating world looks completely different when you cold approach vs. when you use social circle. It's night and day. Social circle dries up as you get older, unless you switch up your strategy to still-active circles and expand your network a lot. Cold approach doesn't dry up unless you let your fundamentals slide or you quit approaching.
Chase
Online Dating
I sent this article to someone, and they just think that people over 40 (which I am) should just stick to online dating, and not go out (this person doesn't like bars). Online dating probably has it's merits (especially now), but it just doesn't seem as fun. I am 47, and I still like going out to bars.
Hey
Chase, I'm very disappointed with girlschase.com. for me, as a Catholic it took a turn for the worse when you commented and posted an article about prostitution, can you answer why you would comment about such a thing. Please respond, I am a long time follower, and would you consider having this site for promiscuous men or for Catholics too
Jesus, Paul, and Prostitution
Eric-
Sorry to hear it. That was this article:
What was your bone with the piece? The article is neither for nor against; it presents as accurate a picture of the (worldly) pros and cons as I could get. The only morality I prescribe on Girls Chase is the second commandment of Jesus ('do unto others'):
Jesus's first, on a site like this, it is not my place to preach.
Jesus, as you may be aware, did not call prostitutes sinners for prostitution; rather, he equated them with tax collectors (our modern-day IRS agents and repo men). He also does not call prostitutes' clients sinners.
All discussions of 'sexual immorality' (and, by extension, we can presume, prostitution) in the New Testament of the Bible come from Romans and Corinthians, both Pauline epistles. Paul never knew Jesus; he was a convert to Christianity who dubbed himself an apostle after Jesus told the original 12 apostles they were to be his only apostles. Paul time and again contradicts Christ, and instructs disciples to do or believe the opposite of what Christ did.
Where Paul contradicts Christ, the Catholic Church normally takes Paul's side; Paul is right, Christ is wrong.
It took me decades to realize this after a Catholic education - that I was in complete agreement with Jesus, and the one I had issues with was Paul. Paul is the Han Fei to Jesus's Confucius; he gets many things right, but his extremism and aboslutism leads to a corruption of the message that takes adherents off track.
Chase
Older men
You will look like a creep old man if you go to parties with younger people. Young girls are not attracted to girls significantly older than they are matter how "attractive" a guy is. They will almost always prefer a younger guy.
This video explains it. At Minute 15:40
https://youtu.be/6aq0eGdHMkA
Dirty Old Man
See, I like it that guys like you believe that older men can't be attractive to young women, because it means for more, or rather for future me.
You probably get this idea by hearing girls or women uttering the occasional "Gross!" at these relations, and believe them, even though these very girls won't shut up on how hot Sean Connery or Kevin Spacey are, and even though "older man" and "old man teenager" are much more researched by females than they are by males according to Pornhub statistics.
But hey, let's take their word for it! If they say "Gross!" then it must be. I mean it's not like this has been the norm for hundreds if not thousands of years. Oh wait, it has.
You know what was the age of consent for girls in 18th-Century England and US colonies? Ten. Not only that, but the majority of girls married (and had sex with) adult men before age 18. That's right, by today's standards, we're descended from a bunch of child molesters. But times have changed; now Anthony Weiner exchanges sexual texts with a 16-year-old and he gets thrown in jail for 21 months like a common thug. By today's sentencing standards, this is a more serious crime than armed robbery. Of course if you take a look at the judge that handed him that sentence --an old broad-- things become clearer. I mean, if middle-aged men were to go for teenage girls then where does that leave her? Must be her thought.
So what's my point? My point is that this whole societal indignation at older man-younger woman relations is very recent. Sexually speaking, young women weren't bred to dismiss an older man because he's older, and older men weren't bred to shy away from youngsters, despite what any member of those groups would say in polite company.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a90BAwsvlA
Oldet men
Keep deluding yourself that youll be more attractive to women as you get older. I have never heard a younger woman say Kevin Spacy or Sean Connery was "hot." Only older women. Women in the past had to settle down with older men because they didnt have the means of supporting themselves. Thats it. If she had the choice and the income theres no way she would choose him over a younger guy. Plus, do you think its right that older men had relationships and children with teenage girls? Its a pretty messed up system because a girl hasnt even lived her life, and you know if the girl could support herself theres no way she would go for that older man6. Girls go for older men because of convenience, not because of attraction.
Sean Connery
Daddy's Home
Okay, Chase showed you examples about Connery.
As to Kevin Spacey, look no further than the comment section of the video I linked to in the above post. One of the top comments in it is of a (presumably) female saying she'd fuck Kevin Spacey, that he's one of the hottest men ever.
Oh and I'll add you another: Bill Maher! (Of all people!) Check out the comment section on this "Bill Maher is hot" blog post: https://sandrahanksbenoiton.com/2007/05/26/bill-maher-is-hot-is-he-not/ -- Plenty of young chicks having the hots for this guy, in the same way the older woman author does. Which, again, supports the theory that if a guy is attractive, he's not only attractive for women his age but also for younger ones.
The only reason so many young women and older guys keep their preferences to themselves, or pretend to be shocked at the whole thing is because of the reactions of people like you and of the wider society, to avoid the stigma.
Because 'respectable society' is pretty two-faced about this one. Like whenever one of those 15-year-old boys diddles with some thirty-something teacher of his, you see all hell breaking loose. And the indignation is so fake! I can't speak for women, but let me tell you, every straight guy under the sun knows that the teenager boy WILL BE FINE! Actually, he'll be in better shape! Yet they pretend to find it wrong, as if it must've been traumatizing to the boy pounding some 30-year-old pussy. "How dare she! Lock her up! Improper!" Here's your fainting couch Mrs Grundy! We all know that's BS and that these are victimless crimes, yet we lock the women up anyway because it makes us feel virtuous.
As to right or wrong, no I don't see anything wrong with such relations so long as they're consensual. And if I had a teenage daughter, I'd even have a preference for her dating some more-or-less established older guy (like late twenties / early thirties) than some punk-ass teenager who's much more likely to introduce her to drugs and shit like that, and much less likely to stick around and support his kids if an accident were to happen.
I mean that Weiner case I mentioned. Imagine if the girl exchanged nudes and lewd texts like that with some high-school loser of her peers. Who do you think is more likely to spread those pics around, share them with the entire school, and out the whole thing? And there've been case like that, that's the kind of crap male teenagers who've got a lot to prove tend to pull. An older guys is just less likely to do stuff like that.
Finally, when you have some time to spare, take a moment and scour one of those DD/LG communities on the internet. They're basically a bunch of young chicks aching for daddies and daddy-like figures, or in relationships of this sort. If you check its subreddits, tumblrs, and the like, most of the active posting members in it are female. Yeah, maybe they want to be supported as you say.. or maybe they just want a capable daddy who can take care of business and make them feel like a little girl.
Older guy getting hit on
I went to a meeting and a hot young woman tried to pick me up for an ONS. She even tried to sound 'not that young' and said she had graduated from high school 8 years earlier. I had graduated high school 42 years earlier. The REAL problem for older men is the one I had: Not going to trade a wife and two daughters for an ONS, no matter how hot the woman! [It did change my beliefs about how attractive I was].
"Two and a Half Men" had a
"Two and a Half Men" had a good episode about as you are middle-aged the goalposts have shifted and the ability to be with young women becomes trickier.
Don't bother attempting to backdate yourself style wise.
If you're attractive, the girls who want to associate with a mature man will find you.
-M
1.When talking and flirting
1.When talking and flirting with all girls, should workers be involved? Like cashiers, waitress, receptionist etc?
I know what flirting is, but I don't know how I would do it with every girl I come into contact with, is flirting like approaching ? Maybe that's what I'm missing, if I can flirt with all the girls I come into contact with no matter what, then maybe I can get some lays on accident.
When I think of flirting, I think of approaching and doing it then, but I'm thinking maybe I should act sexual with all women.
How would I do flirting in that way with all of the women I come into contact with?
2. All I think about is working for myself, that's all I think about in my future. Its not even forced, it's just a natural thought to me that that's what my future is going to be, I don't look at it any other way.
And I believe that's because it's somewhat forced, I've had horrible jobs were I was treated badly and getting paid shit. So I thought imagine if i needed to work for real money to actually live and depend on, I would have to let them talk bad to me. These were part time jobs, imagine having to work a job you need to live, I bet they treat you worse.
This happened at so many jobs, I think I have no choice but to get money on my own.
I'm very different than everyone else, I don't think like everyone at all, that's why I'm on this site, I'm in my head a lot, and think very different. I've also heard it from people a lot.
My biggest problem with doing this are the fact that I never did anything like this before, I never had an important position at a company, it's like I don't think people will take me serious when I become an entrepreneur because I never held any meaningful jobs, I feel people wont give me a chance, so I lack confidence there, and I have a horrible work ethic.
It's all I imagine myself doing; making a lot of money and having a good living on my own terms.
I have the vision, but I have doubts of making it work because this is something I have never done in my life and I would have to change as a person.
The good news is that I have the vision and that's all I think about, it's destiny. If you have any advice on this, let me know.
3. Having kids, I will probably have kids in my forties, I never got to really do much, and I gotta make up for lost time. Do you think it's practical to have kids after I get my shit settled, even if its at 40?
I'm asking based on your age 35 article, I would assume that the men who read that and applied those things wouldn't have kids or a wife. So it seems that having kids after 35 would be ok. Then I heard having kids is a big plus, idk what to think.
All I know is I'm not having any until I feel like it, but I don't want to wait til it's too late. I gotta do what I gotta do tho to make it.
Flirtation, and Finding a Path
SZ-
Absolutely; flirt with all women! Even if they aren't necessarily women you want. You'll put a smile on their faces, warm yourself up, and sharpen your blade. See this article on flirtation:
Vision is good. But you need skills to enact your vision. Otherwise you're Max in Collateral. Figure out what skills you need to get you where you want to go, and start working on whichever skill feels like the most exciting and useful one.
Have children when you find a good woman for it. You're a man, you have time.
I can't help on jobs beyond what I've already posted on the boards, and I know you've seen all that multiple times. Though, just in case, I'll post again here:
In particular, I would suggest you check out the "GET A JOB" section of the first post. And probably my followup comment to the post where I discuss Chamber of Commerce meetings.
I would also suggest you search online for ideas on finding/getting jobs.
On motivation, get a job first, then reassess. You may find it's not a problem. Or you may find once you have the job your goals change, and you are no longer worried about being motivated about this.
If it suits you. I find it a helpful way to add new skills.
My math skills are mediocre at best. I barely passed college calculus, and I had to take it twice (late-dropped the first one). I was great in math until I had a terrible geometry teacher in high school; I fell behind in his class, and never quite caught up. Someday I'd like to go back and re-teach myself math (starting with geometry)... but haven't the time for it now.
So yes. I was in your shoes. I went to school, just to get a degree in anything, so I'd have an employment floor and be able to get a job if I could think of / do nothing else. Meanwhile, I worked on two skills I thought I could make money with. One was writing, the other was music. I don't do anything with music now, but writing has been quite useful - my business is built on it.
I don't know your situation well enough to give you good advice. But if I was talking to 18 year old Chase again, I would say, "Go do your commission sales job for one year [as I did in real life]; it'll be the toughest job you ever have, but the sales and management training and experience you get in that one year will be better than anything you get in college, and you'll use it for the rest of your life. Then go to college, take your same business major with a supply chain minor, but pick up an internship each summer if you can and try to pick up one additional minor, too. Meantime, continue to study writing, but focus on copywriting instead of music. After six months of practice, create an account on UpWork and start freelancing. You'll be making solid money in a year; by the time you're ready to graduate, the only reason you'll need to take a job is if you want the paper credentials."
I don't know if that's useful for you in your situation. But that's the advice I would give to clueless 18-year-old me, who was adrift in the world and unsure if he'd ever figure out how to get girls or do anything with his life, or if maybe he would just drift off into nothing and be some miserable loser working a dead-end retail job, still a depressed bachelor, into his middle age.
Chase
1. I don't know what to do
1. I don't know what to do right now, idk if you do, but you have said many things to me I never even thought of. You really think outside the box.
So I'm working on skills and I'm in school. The problem is that I can't get a decent paying full time job.
I don't know what to do, I can work on skills and go to college or trade school, but right now, I need money coming in from a decent paying full-time job.
What I mean by decent is fulltime 40 and up.
I have never had a fulltime job in my entire life and I have been in the workforce for a decade. All I could get was retail jobs. I understand that these are the jobs that you get when you have no skills, I get that, but I can't even get a retail job full time. I am in so much debt because of having these low paying part time jobs and these jobs tried to get rid of me too, so I had to quit them.
I have been applying like crazy and I get mostly no call backs, I might, just might get a interview, but that's it. I looked at your post about money so many times, I even bought big interview and networked with people in the jobs I applied too, I wrote many cover letters, I've used keyword search for resumes.
I literally did everything I can think of, I even applied to jobs where they wanted 5 years of experience elsewhere, I just applied. Living like this has caused me to max out all of my credit cards, it cause me to use student loans and I am in debt because of this.
I have to have money for emergencies, but how can I do that when all of it goes to bills and it's not even full time work and it's low paying.
Then, I look online for skills and there are people who make courses, but they want to be paid 1000+, I don't even make that a month, so I can't afford that.
I'm sitting here stuck, no job will hire me, yet alone hire me full time and I've done everything that I could think of doing.
I don't know how to make employers want to hire me.
Even making 30k-40k would be good for now, it's been many years and it's not changing.
Do you have any idea on what I could do at all?
Better yet, I would really like to know what you would do if you were in my situation and had the issues I had, and had to find a way to get a fulltime job that pays 15 and up.
I don't know what else to do but to apply, but that hasn't worked in a decade.
I understand skills and experience are important, but how can I even build them if there aren't jobs that hire with no experience, or the jobs won't hire me at all.
I can't even get jobs paying 8-10 an hour to hire me fulltime, I have college education as well, and these really jobs can't even give me full time with their low pay? That's what has held me back for so long.
I'm serious I have never had a job where I worked 30 hours a week.
Now, I need at least a job paying 15+ fulltime, I need that to make it while i work on skills, if you have any idea on jobs I could apply for that could make this happen, please let me know. Also please add non customer service jobs too, anything you can think of.
2. How can I keep up the motivation to work on skills and everything else if I work full time? Won't it be hard to do it?
3. Should I work on each skill for a 100 hours then go to the next for 100 hours?
4. Also, I have asked others for career advice and most of them say college and to do what I want, I would ask a counselor, but it relates to my first problem of not having money to afford it.
I wanted to ask you for your thoughts on this because like I said before, you think of so mamy things i could never think of.
I know you're not a pro on making money and stuff, but I really am curious because you seem like the guy to always find a way, and it's ok if you're not a pro, I respect your opinion immensely.
So hypothetically speaking, if you were in my shoes with horrible math skills, what would you do to have a career for yourself? Skip college? Do trade school ? Become an entrepreneur?
I just wanted to ask hypothetically, so I can weigh my options of what I should pursue immensely because to be honest, I feel I'm going to go to school to just finish my degree because I'm almost done, I'm not going to depend on it, but since I'm so close I feel it won't hurt to just get it, then after that I can work on everything else.
It seems like you always find a way to make things happen, I'm tryna be like that too, but we all start from somewhere, I won't let my math problems stop me from being successful.
But I'm also asking you this just in case I say fuck it and drop out.
Thanks!
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