Confidence

Every guy new to the social arts works on his eye contact. He practices holding eye contact, maintaining it even in the face of social pressure from others who continue to hold eye contact back. He learns the importance of maintaining eye contact while speaking with and listening to others. He learns not to shift his eyes around from eye to eye while looking at someone else.

Goal setting is one of those things that isn’t a tactic, isn’t a technique, and isn’t a methodology, per se, for getting girls or having relationships. It isn’t a cool new trick a guy can go out and employ and net himself a cute, sexy new companion right away, or a means of making the girls he has right now swoon all the harder.

What goal setting is, rather, is a way of getting yourself results in both the short- and the long-term that you likely wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near as quickly without setting goals.

In competitive endeavors, it’s important to maintain a stout defense. Whether discussing military operations, or man-to-man combat, or sports matches, or guarding a company’s secrets against industrial espionage, it is of vital importance to have a strong, effective defense protecting oneself from one’s opponents.

But seduction is not a military operation. Nor are relationships competitive sports matches. And a lot of guys don’t seem to get this.

Really quick quiz: what’s the most powerful tool of seduction in your arsenal? What’s the one thing you have that, when used properly, can turn an ice queen into a kitten and make even the strongest women become bubbly little girls?

• Is it your sense of style?

• Your suave demeanor?

• Perhaps your silver tongue?

Those things all are great, but there’s one thing you can use to greater effect than quite possibly all of them combined. Want to guess what it is?

It’s your smile.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying:

Some years and an entirely other identity ago, I was a rap artist. It’s not something I talk about a whole lot these days, because the person I am today is completely different from the person I was then and anyone I meet today has a difficult time imagining me in that light.

I usually try to write up technical stuff on here that folks can go out and apply. Discrete steps you can begin using instantly to change and improve your ability to socialize and seduce.

Maybe it’s because I’m in Asia, but I seem to be meeting a lot of more conservative girls recently, and many of them have been throwing up a lot of initial resistance to kissing me. I used to run into this occasionally in the States, but nothing like what I’m seeing over here.

So what’s a guy to do? Well, what I’ve been doing is the same thing I’d do the odd time I’d run into women State-side who gave me resistance to kissing – I say resistance be damned and kiss her anyway.

One of the things that stuns me most, when going out with others, is noticing how some of the other men I meet and hang out with approach women. Many of them, I’ve noticed, approach in a way that is either silly, entertaining, tentative, or half-assed – and women predictably don’t bite on their approach.

Doesn’t happen too often, but I recently got a little annoyed at a situation with a girl I’m seeing. She wasn’t behaving as I felt she should have; she was being secretive and defensive around me, and that’s a big no-no for me generally. And that raised my hackles a bit.

Then I stopped for a minute, looked around, and asked myself: why on Earth am I taking this so seriously?

I’m a big proponent of efficiency in all aspects of your life. Get things done faster, easier, and all in one shot, if at all possible, and you can get more accomplished in a shorter amount of time. Part of the reason I’m so gung-ho about efficiency, I think, is that I’m inherently a little bit on the lazy side… I don’t really want to spend a big chunk of time laboring over any one thing in particular.