Confidence | Page 52 | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

How to Have a Sexy Walk That Drives Women Nuts

Chase Amante's picture

sexy walkWhen I was 12 years old, I first started experimenting with my walk. I'd begun running social experiments a little earlier that year, and I figured I could tweak things about myself to give people the kind of impression I wanted to give them.

At first, I walked really fast. Everyone would comment on how fast I walked. I thought doing things quickly was good. But as I studied people more closely, I realized that slower was more powerful. So, 6 months after I started walking faster than anyone else, I slowed down... way down. Now everyone commented on how slow I walked... I walked slower than anyone else.

Over the years, I added pieces to my walk, refining and improving it: first to have a very powerful walk, then to have an intimidating walk.

It wasn't until my early 20s that I at last began developing a sexy walk, designed not to impress people, clear them out of my path on the street, or dissuade them from challenging me in bad parts of town, but, rather, to attract women.

On the article titled "Get a Girl Alone Today with These 7 Tips," Nick commented:

Hey Chase, great article by way.

I have bought your book and read up on your blog posts( having lots of success because of it) about how to have a powerful walk.
Although, I am not sure if I am being too try hard or being to subtle that it is unnoticeable. It would be great if sometime in the future you could put up a video demonstration or even list a few examples of actors in cinema who have a powerful walk.

Thank you

He's referring, of course, to the section of How to Make Girls Chase that discusses your walk. And Nick's right - something as nuanced as your walk needs video illustrations to show you how it's done.

And today's article is going to give you just that.

Are You Nervous with Women? Stop Overthinking

Ricardus Domino's picture

nervous with womenDoes meeting women sometimes seem like rocket science to you? Do you get nervous with women and trip over your own two feet?

Wow… there is so much stuff to read, so many things to work on internally, so many things to consider at every step of the way when talking to girls…

And one single mistake can be fatal, and lose you a girl that was totally into you.

No, far be it from me to tell you that this skill is incredibly easy, and that you need to “just be yourself” and run “natural game”… if that worked, none of us would be here right now.

At the same time, there is also something that is worse than not knowing what to do… and that is “paralysis by analysis:” when the fear of doing the wrong thing leads you to do nothing at all, which is obviously also going to get you no results at all.

Or you think you need just a little bit more information before you can finally start going out and meeting women.

Or maybe all the information doesn’t paralyze you, but you do lose track of all the things you should be doing on a date and end up stuck in your head, or even more nervous and stiff because you’re thinking too hard about what to say next.

I’ve been there… I’m a pretty analytical person, and so I got stuck in that pattern too for a while.

And because I don’t want you stuck there for long too, here’s how to avoid it.

The Meaning of Grit

Ricardus Domino's picture

The Meaning of GritI have bad news today…

The path to success really sucks.   

Building a successful, thriving business is bloody tough… BUT there is one thing that sucks even more: being a slave in a cubicle or a factory for forty years and never having enough money to live the life of your dreams.

Eating healthy and hitting the gym every day is bloody tough too… BUT there is one thing that sucks even more: being out of shape, low on energy, unattractively chubby and unhealthy.

And becoming a master in your dating life is equally tough… there is nothing worse than going out there day after day, getting rejected by woman after woman and failing over and over.

Except for one thing: not having options in women, and either staying alone or settling for something less than your dream girl.

Chase recently dropped an absolute value nuke on this blog… a spectacular post about how to master anything. In that post, he discussed that in our group of friends, every single last one is “crazy.” We all deviate from the “norm” in some way… which is what drives us to create lives that go way beyond a picket fence and 1.7 kids.

But there is a second trait that every one of us has, some more than others (I think Chase has us all beat there)… and that trait is GRIT.

Are You Trying Too Hard? Stop Trying. Start Succeeding

Chase Amante's picture

Trying Too HardA reader writes in to ask about trying too hard:

I haven't seen any posts yet by you about a particular subject--neediness and trying too hard.

In fact, I just read one of your posts "What regular men don't know" where you are a proponent of making yourself into an attractive man and getting better with women an obsession.

Personally I have had a few different people tell me lately that I'm "trying too hard." I don't know what this means. Without trying, I will get nowhere. At first I thought they were right, but now I'm thinking they were just jealous I was trying to change when they weren't.

Could you write a post on this inner game issue? What does it mean to "try too hard" and when does getting better with women become a bad thing? How do you make sure to keep consistently trying to get better without having people tell you you're trying too hard?

Or should I say screw 'em and keep on doin my own thing?

I was speaking with a former student of mine about this a few weeks back. We'd talked about him tweaking a vibe he gives off, where it feels as though he's trying a bit too hard. He wasn't totally aware of it, but he'd heard it from multiple people and he asked me if I could put my finger on it and help him figure out why he was getting that kind of reaction from people and how to get around it.

Honestly, trying too hard is one of the most difficult things to explain to someone, and one of the most difficult things to stop.

But I myself was guilty of it for a long time once, and since there's some interest in the topic, let me take a crack at explaining what this is, and what you can do about it.

Going Stag: Your Guide to Going Out By Yourself

Ricardus Domino's picture

Hey guys –

It’s been almost a year since I started working with my good friend Chase (wow, time flies) – and it has been an incredibly busy year. And while I’ve dropped about 150,000 words of 10 years’ experience in picking up women on the blog, I haven’t always had time to get back to everyone who wrote in with questions or comments.

It’s time to remedy that… I really appreciate all your feedback, it lets me know how we can bring more value to you and it’s also great to know that our work is really helping people out – so thanks for all the comments, even and especially the ones who just stopped by to let us know how much this blog has helped them out. That’s fantastic and part of what makes this work so incredibly gratifying.

Now, I just went back over all the comments you have left on my posts, and I am going to get all the questions answered that I think every reader will be able to benefit from. That means I won’t be answering questions about “this one special girl,” unless my advice in the situation is broadly applicable and will be useful to other readers as well. But there have been a lot of very smart questions that I thought were very interesting and worth having a closer look at for everyone.

We’re starting off the series with a follow-up to the post on going out alone, with more on going stag and going out by yourself. This is one of the best ways to meet new women, but it’s also a scary and unusual one for most newer guys - it’s a worthy place to kick off this new series, in other words.

going out by yourself

Furthermore, I will be answering comments on this series – either directly, or if the questions are very involved, in future blog posts – so now is the time to let me know what you’re struggling with. Of course I won’t be able to go into the same depth as we do in our phone coaching program, but if we can get some of the more pressing problems solved for ya and take your dating life to the next level right here and right now, then I’ll say we’ll have achieved our goal! So feel free to hit reply and post your question.

Onwards!

How to Master Anything

Chase Amante's picture

While the focus on here is normally pointed squarely at getting girls, I wanted to broaden that today to a topic that's of significant importance not only to pickup and seduction, but to anything and everything you will ever lay your hands on, set your mind to, and go about doing.

That topic, in case you only glanced over the title, is how to master... anything.

how to master

In case you're not so familiar with my "credentials" (background), I've effectively mastered:

  • Sales
  • Music Production
  • Song Writing
  • Picking Up Women
  • Maintaining Relationships (completely different from pickup)
  • Posture / Movement / Personal Charisma
  • Motivational and Inspirational Speaking
  • Teaching (everything from software to seduction to high school students)
  • Copywriting
  • Writing in General

I'm also pretty good at making crazy shots from anywhere on the basketball court, and I'm about halfway through my growth curve as an entrepreneur, Internet marketer, and business growth expert.

On several occasions, I've had people ask me how it is you stay motivated to learning something long enough to reach a pinnacle in it. Usually I brush this off, because I don't like to be seen patting my own back too much. Even in my rap days, where bravado and showing off plays a big part of the art (rap has its origins in the West African folk tradition of "men of words" talking up their successes and desirability), I never liked venturing too far into singing my own praises.

It's far better for others to sing your praises for you than for you to do it yourself. People respect this more... and you look like less of an ass.

But for the sake of this post, let's shelve the false modesty, and talk about how to master things, how to set aside the laziness that nags at us all, and how to keep yourself focused on getting something down that few people ever will.

Student of the Game: Becoming a Social Success

Colt Williams's picture

social successWhen you set out upon the journey to truly master your skills with women, much of the time a big part of what you’re really setting out on that journey to be is a bonafide social success.

Yet, as you’ll most likely quickly find the instant you start working toward that goal, that’s usually a lot easier said that done.

Now, it is said that people are naturally social; so how is it that so many social interactions end with a feeling of awkwardness or something left to be desired?

This frustrated me for years, and it can be frustrating for any aspiring seducer or seducer-in-training. Despite what you might be told, the ability to charm or really connect with anyone doesn’t come naturally to most people. But luckily, it can be learned.

And today team, we’re looking at how to become at social dynamo.

Meet New Girls by Doing THIS

Ricardus Domino's picture

Aarrrrgh procrastination got me.

I had worked very hard to set up my life in a way where I’d have a lot of free time, and all for the explicit purpose of going out to meet new girlsyet there I was, dicking around on the internet, watching movies and chilling with my buddies.

Have you ever had that problem… when you’re busy, you say to yourself: “If only I had the free time to approach more girls!”

meet new girls

But then once you have free time, you somehow get lazy and complacent… until your calendar is suddenly jammed again and you regret not having taken advantage of the golden opportunity you had?

We’re often our own worst enemies, and the reality is that everyone procrastinates… I’m no exception, sometimes. Even Napoleon Hill said he was not entirely free from it… but at the very least, one thing is true: the more you refine your ability to pick up girls, the less you will procrastinate out of fear, and the more it will be out of laziness.

You know for a fact you can go out and get laid with a hot girl in a matter of few days and highly likely, today (and if you don't know that yet, well, that's what this site is for!)… but you first have to beat inertia. You first have to resist calling one of your girlfriends over, and instead make yourself look sharp and hit the town!

Of course once you get going, it’s so much fun that you don’t want to stop… but until you get to that point, you can lose a LOT of time that you will later regret not having made better use of.

Constructing Your Sexy Vibe (and Making Girls Go Nuts)

Ricardus Domino's picture

sexy vibeI couldn’t believe it when she told me…

She was 25 years old and had a banging hot body… one that I was just about to peal out of her sexy, tight jeans. She had a belly button piercing and fake boobs… yet here she was lying next to me, telling me she was a virgin.

Just when you think nothing’s going to surprise you anymore… well, meeting women during the day truly is Forrest’s proverbial box of chocolates.

But, at least that explained why it had taken me a while to get together with her.

Most women will sleep with a guy the first night, so long as he sets the right frame as a sexual man and creates a sexy vibe… but if she’s never been with a guy before, it may take her a bit longer to get truly comfortable.

In one of my most recent articles, on the girl who says she has a boyfriend and why it doesn’t matter, I wrote about nymphomaniacs, strippers and party girls… and how much fun they can be. Today, I’ll talk a bit about the opposite end of the spectrum… and I’ll let you in on some of the secrets of hooking up with girls who are far less wild and far less experienced.

That can be a very interesting experience in its own right… in fact, one good friend of mine and fellow dating coach specializes in virgins… he gets a kick out of being the first man in a girl’s life and teaching her the ins and outs of one of the best things life has to offer.

But why would a virgin go with a professional seducer, out of all people?

Guy Talk: Here's How to Kick Butt at Talking to Other Men

Chase Amante's picture

guy talkA friend of mine just asked me a question about guy talk; in other words, what he said was:

Chase, I've been learning to talk to girls for the better part of 2 years, and I think I've got a lot of it down at this point... but my question is, how do I talk to guys?

We'd been discussing a few of his quirks: despite me working with him somewhat, he still seems to have a level of tension around him that he often doesn't seem to let go. He always strikes me a though he's trying to make his conversation; trying to "be cool" or "be one of the guys."

And other people have told me the same thing about him.

So, I sat him down to talk about guy talk. It turned out that this friend of mine has what I call a "hierarchical view of the world" - a view I think most people share, but that I don't. What happens to people with hierarchical worldviews is this: they feel intimidated and nervous by those they view as "above" them in the hierarchy.

And thus, they get uncomfortable around men they perceive as "dominant men" or "alpha males."

And thus, like anytime someone gets nervous or uncomfortable, they make mistakes and screw it up.

They try too hard.

They come off insincere.

And as I talked to my friend, I racked my brain trying to figure out if there's a way you can even get around this. A hierarchical mindset is a tough nut to crack - I've tried and failed with friends before.

But if you're uncomfortable engaging in "guy talk" and talking to other guys, is there a way to change that and get good?